Hello and Fear of dying

[gem]

Hi, my names Gemma, i'm young mum to 2 beautiful children aged nearly 4 and 5 months.

For the last 3 months i have started to have a fear of dying, i worry that i won't get to see my children grow up. Before i started feeling like this i always saw myself growing old with my wonderful husband but all i think of now is what if. I hate feeling like this and wish i could feel 'normal' again. I'm seeing a councellor and sometimes i think it helps but when i have a low day i wonder if it is helping.

I'm trying to stay positive but when i do have bad days i'm convinced that there really is something wrong with me and that i'm going to die.

I keep telling myself 'i will get through this and come out the other side, i will do it for my children and husband, i know it will take time but i WILL get there.

Gem

[Meg]

Hi Gemma,

What happened to trigger off those thoughts ?

You are certainly not alone with these.

Fear of death (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=321)
obsession with death, why? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4764)
Fear of death (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4916)


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[lainey]

Hi Gemma

Welcome to the forum, you have come to the right place.
You'll get loads of help and support here.

Take care

Elaine x

[gem]

I'm not too sure what triggered these thoughts off. I have been suffering from postnatal depression so that hasn't helped.

I think that the main cause of it is that i'm so happy with my life at the moment, it's perfect (apart from me feeling like this) that i keep expecting something to go wrong. Like all mum's i want to be there for my children but i keep thinking what if something does happen to me. I just don't want to die.

[mum2four]

I was a young mum at 18y i now have 4 kids now and I'm 28y. I have the same fear but my fear dosn't effect me much anymore these day's unless I'm realy forced to face it for some reason usaly by my sister she just love to talk about that but my 6 year has also talk about it since she was about 3 after we lost our nana.

Are you taking any meds, what eva it is that scare's you about so much need'd be chalenge by telling your self truthfull fact based information instead of going in to a what if converstation. This may be hard but if it a daily fear that you just get positive past fact's will help ease you fear over time.

In stead of telling your self that you would hate to not see them grow up focus on having fun with your kids. When you feel the fear starting try to just get up a get involved and have fun with them. I like to just turn the music up real loud and dance really silly with my kids just to have fun with them and take a time out from dealing with adult issue's. Look in to children's eye's and see the peace and happiness thay and inercent's of not really having to deal with the thing's that you are scared of and just remember what is what like to be a kid and get on there level have have fun the way thay have fun for while.

I think there is lot of thing's that we as parent tend to forget about and we have so much to worry about that our kids can teach us just haw to forget for while. It works for me I put all my effort in to just having fun with my kids and not worring about the world around me so much. 3 Year's later I've made huge prgress with little effort and now I'm ready to try life on my own a little bit more i can do things with my kids with ease but on my own I still a lot of work a head of me.

I hope I help.

[tracyp584]

Hey Gem,

Welcome to the site!

I also have had this same problem, which I still suffer with now. I started having these thoughts after I had my 2 children, which are now aged 6&7. I think that its when you have kids you suddenly realise how you are responsibile for this precious life, and you start thinking how you really dont want to miss a single part of it.

Its good that you are seeing a counsellor, and it can be really helpful to get all your thoughts out and try to make sense of them.

Take care,

tracy x x



Every time you avoid your fears they become stronger,every time you face your fears they become weaker.

[FRANKIEISBACK]

These are symptoms of anxiety, you are ok , it feels terrible, but it will pass, it may return but you will slowly be stronger, medication may help

[Karen]

Hi Gemma

Welcome to the forum.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[seh1980]

Welcome aboard Gemma!! :D

"If life were simple, word would have got around"

[chucklehound]

Hi Gemma and welcome to NMP where you will get lots of support and make some new friends too. Hope that you are feeling better soon...

Take care
Chucklehound
xxxx

[sueiamnew]

Welcome to the site Gemma.

[pinkscrumpy]

Hi Gem

Welcome to the forum.

You are definately not alone with these thoughts

:D:D

MANDIE XX

Will I ever escape this?
Will I ever be free?
Wake me up from this nightmare.
Please just give me the key!

[tammyg]

Welcome to the forum. We have all had thoughts like these! It is great that you are trying to be so positive about it though.

Tam x

[nomorepanic]

Hi Gemma

Welcome aboard the forum and I hope we can provide you with some support on here.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[gem]

I was just wondering... could it be that you have a fear of being too happy? I think deep down a lot of us do. We tend to think that we don’t deserve happiness, success, good fortune, whatever. We don’t feel worthy of it. Perhaps that’s why your mind is conjuring up these thoughts at this time. You’re expecting the good times to come to an end, and your subconscious mind is trying to fulfil those beliefs by showing you ways in which it could happen.

Let me know if that rings true – I have a couple of other thoughts about it.

Hi Nigel, have just read your post. Can you be too happy? I keep thinking that i'm so happy that somethings going to go wrong.

I was wondering what your other thoughts were.

Thank you to everyone who's replied to me, it means so much.

Gem

[Mable]

Gem,
I have always been a bit of a 'worrier' and suffered from anxiety, but never more so than after the birth of my two children. Because I loved them so much, I became cripplingly frightened of losing them. Also, as they have got older, (they are now 8 and 11), I became increasingly frightened of dying myself, and leaving them without a mother to care for them.
I now suffer from health anxiety. If anything is wrong with the me or the kids, I always assume the worst. For example my daughter was suffering with backache that went on for a few months. It turned out to be nothing, but not before I had trawled the internet looking at spinal tumours etc. I am also always really frightened of doing things like going on planes, trains, holidays in case something awful happens and we all die, or an accident occurs and we one of us is left crippled etc etc.....

This all may be of no help to you other than realising you are not alone, and maybe your worries are not as bad as all that! You have had some good advice so far, and I would reiterate the person from NZ, get down on the kids level and enjoy being with them. That is exactly what I do.

I think Nigel too has a point when he says "... could it be that you have a fear of being too happy? I think deep down a lot of us do. We tend to think that we don’t deserve happiness, success, good fortune, whatever". We think its all too good to be true, and that something bad is bound to happen because we're not allowed to be happy and enjoy ourselves. I havn't a clue where such thoughts come from though.[|)]

I have seen counsellors and had 6 months of CBT, not tried medication due to phobia of taking mind-altering tablets. This has all helped me to understand my problems, but I think this website may prove more useful!

Try and rationalise - you have as much chance of dying as the next person. And if you are relatively young and fit, those chances are pretty remote.

Good luck

Mable
:)

[Sue K with 5]

Hi gem


Your not alone with this fear trust me, it is quite natural to worry about the what if's with children! I hate it when the children leave the house without my husband or I because of the way the world is today, I feel like I cant breath until I know they are all safe and sound!

Your feelings are quite natural and instinctive so dont feel your alone

Read the stories on the forum and good luck


Sue with 5

scknight

[Sarah-Jane]

Hi ya welcome to the site.

What you are feeling is completely normal and classic of anxiety. I to have had and still have the fear of dying its really scary and i think that as we get older we notice more how time flies past and how short life really is and i think the people that suffer with anxiety and all the symptoms often thing too much and too deeply into things, which ends up blowing things up out of all proportion at times. When i get really bad with the fear of dying and silly thoughts running round in my mind i just try and distract myself. Sometimes its not so easy.



Love & Hugs from Sarah-Jane xxxx

[emmypurse]

hi , i also have a fear of dying too soon and it is affecting my life way too much, i am due to go on holidays soon and i am dreading the flight very much, i detest flying cos im convinced someting is going to happen to me and my family, it has caused countless arguments with my husband as he doesnt seem to be afraid of anything, i have two young children and i avoid allsorts of situations in case something happens, i felt like i was not normal i am trying the paul mackenna hypnotherapy cd to help with the fear of flying but only time will tell if it works or not, any comments will be helpful x