kimmy
03-10-05, 15:40
well last night i had a bit of a turn. the worst in such a long time. i even got dp which i havent done in so long.
it started when my boyfrined said about his headache, he had all day. i could see he was distressed with it. then i just kept thinking the worst.
i went to bed early and i was just overwhelmed with panic, my thaughts were really wierd and out of controle, i knew i should of got up and went down staires to distract myself but i didnt. i laid there scared?? why i dont know!! i knew it was happening and i could stop it. but i just couldnt. anyways the night went on and my bf came to bed and i explained i was feeling panicky and my thaughts were all confussed. like "is it coming back, am i going to be able to go to work tomorrow, what if i cant cope in my lessons etc ( i have a new job at the college as a learning support) my bf was great, he just kept talking to me about stuff to ditract me. he kept me calm and got me a cold flannel, and just said ive done it before, this isnt diffrent than normal etc. he turned our light on and we just chatted about rubbish. eventually i felt my mind clearing which was soooo reasurring, and i calmed myself down then i fell asleep.
it was very scary feeling those feelings again, i was scared it wasnt like before but it is. i feel ok today, went to work and i survived, just like i knew i would and could.
it started when my boyfrined said about his headache, he had all day. i could see he was distressed with it. then i just kept thinking the worst.
i went to bed early and i was just overwhelmed with panic, my thaughts were really wierd and out of controle, i knew i should of got up and went down staires to distract myself but i didnt. i laid there scared?? why i dont know!! i knew it was happening and i could stop it. but i just couldnt. anyways the night went on and my bf came to bed and i explained i was feeling panicky and my thaughts were all confussed. like "is it coming back, am i going to be able to go to work tomorrow, what if i cant cope in my lessons etc ( i have a new job at the college as a learning support) my bf was great, he just kept talking to me about stuff to ditract me. he kept me calm and got me a cold flannel, and just said ive done it before, this isnt diffrent than normal etc. he turned our light on and we just chatted about rubbish. eventually i felt my mind clearing which was soooo reasurring, and i calmed myself down then i fell asleep.
it was very scary feeling those feelings again, i was scared it wasnt like before but it is. i feel ok today, went to work and i survived, just like i knew i would and could.