Hannahlou84
03-10-05, 18:42
Please bear with this potentially incoherant post.
I have a bit of a problem with food, but I am not really sure if it is anything that is worth worrying about exactly. I'm sorry, I know I don't make much sense!
I'll start at the beginning!
I suffered with bulimia when I was 14 til about the age of 15 where with the tiniest little bit of help I just started eating OK again. The thing is, I am not sure if that eating OK ever was, I have always picked at my food, and only ever eaten when I was hungry, and when I was staying with B in Australia I barely ate for days at a time, despite her concern and pleading. I guess I have always been a bit like that.
Since I have been at Uni, this problem has gotten worse, I don't eat, and when I do it's rubbish, which I then feel guilty for eating so then can't eat for the next few days. This pattern didn't seem to be doig me anymore. In fact, it suits me fine until people interfere! Then it gets worse, but is it already a problem I need to discuss with someone? (it does get worse, but I mean that on its own?).
Now, when I am forced to eat, particularly if it's a lot, I have a tendency to make myself vomit, or fast for days if possible, or do more exercise than normal... Yet, when this is going on, I usually feel at my best. I know this is bad, but I can't help it when I am put in a position where I have no control like that.
I was just looking for some advice really, I could say more, but would like to gauge the reaction a bit first.
Thanks,
Hannah
"Suddenly I see, this is what I want to be, Suddenly I see, why the hell it means so much to me"
I have a bit of a problem with food, but I am not really sure if it is anything that is worth worrying about exactly. I'm sorry, I know I don't make much sense!
I'll start at the beginning!
I suffered with bulimia when I was 14 til about the age of 15 where with the tiniest little bit of help I just started eating OK again. The thing is, I am not sure if that eating OK ever was, I have always picked at my food, and only ever eaten when I was hungry, and when I was staying with B in Australia I barely ate for days at a time, despite her concern and pleading. I guess I have always been a bit like that.
Since I have been at Uni, this problem has gotten worse, I don't eat, and when I do it's rubbish, which I then feel guilty for eating so then can't eat for the next few days. This pattern didn't seem to be doig me anymore. In fact, it suits me fine until people interfere! Then it gets worse, but is it already a problem I need to discuss with someone? (it does get worse, but I mean that on its own?).
Now, when I am forced to eat, particularly if it's a lot, I have a tendency to make myself vomit, or fast for days if possible, or do more exercise than normal... Yet, when this is going on, I usually feel at my best. I know this is bad, but I can't help it when I am put in a position where I have no control like that.
I was just looking for some advice really, I could say more, but would like to gauge the reaction a bit first.
Thanks,
Hannah
"Suddenly I see, this is what I want to be, Suddenly I see, why the hell it means so much to me"