Anxious parent

[emz05]

This is my Daughter's website log on. Over the last few weeks she has been having panic attacks which we thought had disappeared. Unfortunately they are back with a vengence: from relatively minor things that would cause her to panic she has begun to imagine scenarios to make her feel anxious and scared and is unable to stop herself. She believes that her mind is deliberately trying to make her insane.These scenarios have manifested themselves into thoughts which attack her greatest fears, one of which is losing myself and her mother either in a physical sense or that we will become to hate her. Yesterday she had incredible difficulty in telling me (by writing it down) that she had had a thought about herself and her mother together in a mildly sexual sense. This terrified her and she convinced herself that she was sick and perverted and that we would hate her for it. Needless to say we talked about it at length and I managed to convince her that she was simply normal, and we are not responsible for our thoughts and in one form or another we all have these type of thoughts, however fleeting. Because we "beat" this latest attempt by her mind to torture her she has tonight had a further attack where her mind has suggested that should WE sexually abuse HER she would then hate us and lose us that way. Again we have assured her that there is nothing that she could say or do to make us hate her. Please is there anyone out there who can reassure her that she is normal and not going mad, and that she is not alone. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thankyou.

[tammyg]

Hi

If you have a look around the site there are many, many posts about this sort of thing. So many of us have awful thoughts that we think will lead to us doing awful things. But that's all they are, just thoughts. It is so hard to get out of this pattern of scary thoughts but writing them down is a really good idea. Has she tried keeping a journal? She may want to us it to show you and share her thoughts.

Sounds like you are doing a great job of trying to reassure her, keep telling her they are thoughts and not actions/instructions.

How old is your daughter? Has she ever had any form of help or counselling? She is most definately NOT going mad and neither is she alone in this. If she would like to talk to me please pass on my contact details (see profile).

Hope this reassures her a little



Tammy x

[seh1980]

hi there,

Get your daughter to come have a look around the forum and maybe to join us in the chatroom in the evenings if she's up for it. There's nothing better than talking to others who are going through the same thing to make you realise that you're not alone!!

Sarah :D

"If life were simple, word would have got around"

[meatybuddy]

hi

many many people who suffer anxiety and panic attacks sufer from these sort of thoughts its very common with anxiety and panic unfortuneatly.

you are doing a great job at reasureing her.
she is deffinately not going mad and if your daughter feels upto it then she should come here and look around in the forums theres loads of people tha suffer awful thoughts.

all the best


darren

There is light at the end of the tunnel its just fiding it thats the hard part

[Meg]

Hi Emz Dad,

Panic and anxiety leave us completely unsure and confused about many things in life. Its difficult to see how anything can ever be the same again when you are so afraid physically as well as mentally.

Then starts the learning curve.

We have all taken our thought processes for granted. We learn our times table, what time we need to be at school, how to get to our friends and how to work things out and we never question it.

After a panic session and the anxiety that follows it - we start to think completely differently and at random it would seem and don't often make sense but we're trying to make some sense where we think there is none.

With that come extreme thoughts and whereas before we could dismiss the sublime or ridiculous immediately - now all things are possible and we consider all options and our choices for deep consideration include those extreme negative and emotion provoking themes that 'it might ' or 'what if'...
the anxiety choice of words are often all in the future trying to grasp hold of and figure out the unknown and deperately trying to plan for each unknown avenue.

Thoughts not instructions
Thoughts just thoughts
Thoughts not predictions

Its like seeing a new scary 4th or even 5th dimension to your world and trying to firstly understand it then always keep firmly one step ahead and keep it under control.

If you haven't already got a copy, get ' Essential help for your nerves' Dr. Claire Weekes. It will help you all as a family understand this better.

Here are some previous threads on related topics

I'm new! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3739)
http://www.nomorepanic.org.uk/lounge/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=1299
Madness (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5154)
mentally ill?! worries (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5335)


obsessional negative thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3343)
what if I kill someone? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1972)
Horrible thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5280)
Morbid thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5482)

Confused? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4187)

odd thoughts... (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5201)
Strange thoughts....Anyone else? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5294)
Silly thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5694)





Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[in1peace]

Wow Meg! Awesome Response! I have to copy that one and read it over a few times. I has great meaning for the hell my mind put me through when I was panicking!!
emz05, you are awesome too! The way you have responded so delicately to your daughter is so amazing! As a young girl I had a dream about a family member and it was not anything I would have done in real life. It was very upsetting to me that I dreamt it and thought I must be a bad person for dreaming it. It was so horrible to explain it to my mom, but she really handled it well. If she hadn't, I might be a different person today.Please tell your daughter that she is not a bad person for having thoughts like that run through her mind.

"Honey, if ya ain't feelin' the bumps in the road, ya ain't goin' nowhere!" (A wise Georgia Granny's take on living life to the fullest! LOL!)

[Elaine1]

Hi Emz's Dad

There have already been some terrific posts here and I would imagine more will follow.

From my limited experience, panic attacks and anxiety cause havoc with your conscious and sub conscious thoughts, especially if you are feeling low at the time or they are at the night when you are over tired. Your thoughts just run away with each other, the next being more extreme than the last.

As others have said she is normal and not going mad and she is most definately not alone. What this site will show you all, is how anxiety and panic attacks manifest themselves. The problems are similar with many, but each individual has differing thought processes and how they react. All of which can be explained away when your thoughts are more rational - in the cold light of day! She will gain a better understanding about this and it will in turn give her the confidence to move forward.

I would encourage you all as a family to read as much as you can on the website, as it really helps in understanding what is happening and will endorse that Emz is normal, she is not going mad and she is not alone.

People on this site are from all different backgrounds, different ages and different countries. The one thing in common is that we are all here to support each other and we are here for your daughter, your wife and you.

Young adults/teenagers do seem to be under alot of pressure these days. So very much is expected of them from a young age. I would suspect from her age that she has just completed her GCSE's and if this is the case, maybe she is just starting college - all of which are huge changes with a lot to take on board, as well as everyday life and experiences.

Both your wife and you are being incredibly supportive and full of reassurance. Tell her there is always light at the end of the tunnel and she will find it.

Elaine

[emz05]

Thank you all for this terrific support and advice. It has really helped her.
Emz dad.

Emma x x