Bad news - update

[tygwyn]

Hi guys

I feel as though I have had a set back today but I'm not sure. Maybe someone could advise?

I have been having a great, really positive week. I've been to keep fit and cycling and this morning I was feeling on top of the world.

Well this afternoon my friends partner came around. My friend is in hospital at the moment with incurable cervical cancer - we were hoping that she'd be home soon and that she'd be able to get on a new drug which would give her a few more years. Anyway the docs told them today that they should start preparing for the worst (wills etc) as the procedure she went in for doesn't appear to have worked. She has also started bleeding which is really bad news as they're not able to stop it and ultimately it could be the way that she finally passes away.

He partner had phoned 30 mins prior to coming around so I had an idea that bad news was on the way. I was getting a bit jittery but not too bad while waiting for him. When he told me the news my heart rate went crazy (as you would expect) but after a while it calmed down. We started chatting again and even had a few laughs - it was at this stage though that I felt the panic coming on. Heart racing and dizzy etc. I managed to breath my way through it so that no-one noticed but its left me feeling really really p***ed off! It seems that I can't even have normal feelings without this kicking in.

I honestly believe that I am well on the way to recovery but this has really left me feeling a bit numb.

Is this a set back do you think or just a normal reaction for someone with slightly sensitized nerves?

Thanks for listening guys

Rach xxxx

"True acceptance means 'facing and relaxing' - it is submission" (Claire Weekes)

[tracyp584]

Hey Rach,

I think anyone in that situation is going to feel extremely on edge,I really do not see it as a setback. You are just having a normal reaction to some pretty awful news.

Don't allow yourself to feel low, lor like you are going backwards, just accept it for what it is - some horrid news.

Perhaps try and focus on your friend, and being there for her,
and ignore any hints of Mr panic rising.

Take care,

tracy x x



Every time you avoid your fears they become stronger,every time you face your fears they become weaker.

[tygwyn]

Thanks Tracy

Its so annoying that such an emotional time like this has to be affected by anxiety isn't it. I want to be there for my friend (and god knows I will be) but I want to be thinking of her 100% not worrying if panic will set in.

I suppose the upside of this is that I managed to breath through it and so it wasn't full blown - probably only a few seconds. I just wish I could get it out of my head now and put it down to 'normal' reactions but its hard isn't it.

I can't begin to imagine what my friend must be going through at the moment - and her partner. Shes been battling the cancer for 18 months now and when I say battling I really mean it. She has been so strong its unreal. They both know that we're here 100% for them but what the hell can I say to them to make it better - sod all! She'll be leaving behing 3 children - god this world is so sick sometimes. And here I was sat here worrying about myself. How selfish is that. All of the time I was stifling crying because I don't like to feel as though I'm losing control - plus it wouldn't have helped him if I'd have broken down.

God I'm waffling now sorry.

Life is **** isn't it.

Thanks again Tracy

Rach xxxx

"True acceptance means 'facing and relaxing' - it is submission" (Claire Weekes)

[Meg]

**just a normal reaction for someone with slightly sensitized nerves?**

We are so used to associating emotions with panic or anxiety, that often normal emotions also remind us of anxiety even though its for something else.

I'm so sorry to hear about your friends sad news.



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[vernon]

So sorry tygwen, But this is normal reaction for anyone. take care and just be there for your friend. Vernon

[Hannahlou84]

I am sorry to hear your news. Do you think it might be helpful for you to try and distinguish your feelings at the moment from those of anxiety you have experienced? It may seem hard at first, but "normal" people do experience these emotions too.

Hannah

"Suddenly I see, this is what I want to be, Suddenly I see, why the hell it means so much to me"

[mazz]

hi mate , sounds pefectly normal to feel bad about the situation ,be there for your friend and chin up , you,ve done so well so far ths is just a little hick up .soon you will be back to feeling positive .be strong x

[tygwyn]

Thanks everyone - very much appreciated.

I'll be there for my friend - make no mistake about that. I just wish I could do more for her and her partner.

Take care all

Rach xxxx

"True acceptance means 'facing and relaxing' - it is submission" (Claire Weekes)

[pips]

Hi Rach,

So sorry to hear about your friend.

Meg is so right though some emotions are closley related to anxiety and panic that you immediately think it is that. Excitement being one! Well Done for recognising the slightly sensitized nerves that's really good!

Take Care,;)

Love and a Hug to you,

PIP'S X X

[tygwyn]

Hi Guys

Unfortunately I have just had some devastating news. My dear friend lost her battle against cervical cancer this morning at the tender age of 42. She leaves behind 3 children. What a cruel world we live in.

Rach xxxx

"True acceptance means 'facing and relaxing' - it is submission" (Claire Weekes)

[bluesparkle]

oh rach...
im so sorry to hear that...
i really feel for you right now...
you know where we all are if you want to talk
take care
rach
x

[SickofIt]

This post made me cry. :(
Life just doesn't make sense, does it? My co-worker's husband died last week of colon cancer at the age of 43. He left two children.
I am so sorry about your friend.

[carlin]

Hi Rach,
I am so dreadfully sorry that your friend has lost her battle. Please take care xxxxxxxxxxxxjean

[Meg]

Rach,

I'm so sorry to hear your very sad news.

Meg x

[mazz]

iam so sorry too rach , iam on the end of a phone if you want me ok x

[alexis]

I am really sorry to hear your sad news, I too lost a friend with cancer 2 years ago next week, she was 36 and she left very young children, the sad thing too was her mother had died of the same thing when she was young so I really felt for all the family especially that poor father/husband, it is sad world sometimes, take care love Alexis,xx

Alexis

[hunny]

Hi Rach

Im so sorry to hear your sad news.Its really awful
My friend is battling a secondary brain tumour at the moment,she is 27 and has 2 children.
What a cruel world indeed...
Hugs
Hunnyxx

[nomorepanic]

Rach

Sorry to hear this very sad news. We are here if you need us or want to talk about it.

Thinking of you.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[linjane]

I just wanted to say that I've just read your post and wanted to let you know how sorry I am.

Take care.

Love, Linda.xxx

[Karen]

Sorry to hear your sad news Rach. We are here if you need us.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[eeyorelover]

I'm so sorry to hear that you have lost someone close to you!!! You and her children will be in my prayers

Sandy
(eeyorelover)

If the world didn't suck... we'd all fall off :)

[chucklehound]

Hi Rach, I am so, so sorry to hear the terrible news...

I think that everyone would have reacted this way after getting news like that.

Hope that you are feeling better soon.
I will talk to you soon on MSN.
Take great care of yourself

Love
Chucklehound
xxxxxxxxx