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tammyg
06-10-05, 20:58
Hi - this might be a long post so sorry in advance!!

I have been doing quite well lately but things are getting a little too much. I'm not really sure whether it's a case of too much, too soon or too little, too late. I'm hoping it's the first one!

Anyway, I have been doing some self exposure therapy which is really hard but have been getting on ok up until now. My fear is emetophobia. On Tuesday a child was sick in my classroom first thing in the morning(across the other side of the room though) and I managed to put into practise all my new strategies and wasn't fine but was ok.

Yesterday we had all the children's parents in for a workshop which made me a little nervous anyway. I was anxious about speaking to them all and wanting them to like me. Then a child was sick (9:22am). This time I managed to get a little closer and even helped her get changed. She was sick again half an hour later and after a brief 'time out' in my classroom alone I managed to go back and even sat with her for a while (only a few minutes). Sorry if this is gross lol but I then actually cleaned up the sick - with a smile on my face lol cos I was so pleased I could even be near it!! (although I had kinda convinced myself it was water not sick so this may be why). Had a mini PA at dinnertime thinking about what I had done.

Today (at 9:20am!) a child was sick AGAIN!!! What is going on?! It's like someone is really testing me. Anyway, it was awful but after my experiences yesterday I was determined not to let it get to me. I was aware that I didn't want to avoid the child so I went and sat with him for a few minutes (he had told me he felt better but I was thinking about the child who was sick twice yesterday so I don't know whether this was a success or not).

Anyway lol to the point! I know I am not supposed to think about it and when I thought about it all after work today it nearly sent me into another PA. Does anyone have experience of exposure therapy? How exactly did you do it? I have a video which I work on but obviously that is in my own time, when I am feeling ready. The sort of exposure I have had the last few days I have not chosen to have and am not sure really whether it's made me worse or done me good! Is exposure therapy best done in your own time or just when the situation arises?

So now I'm kinda scared what's going to happen tomorrow at around the 9:20 mark and I know I shouldn't think about it because this will probably set me off but I can't help it! Three days in a row just seems a little too much of a coincidence. But at the same time the rational part of me knows this is just silly and I can control these thoughts.

I would appreciate hearing anyones thoughts or experiences.

Thanks

Tammy x

Meg
06-10-05, 21:11
Really funny how it works out.

I didn't do traffic jams at all and went miles out of my way to avoid them - anything on the traffic news or overhead gantries sent me off at the next exit regardless of how short it might be.

Eventually I did some exposure and hefty self talk stuff stuff and did exposure practice and hardly came across anything, then as I was improving and more confident , got several real biggies in a row... I survived, no fun but ok.

Then none again for a while and when the next one came , I winced but JFDI and thereafter they got easier each time.

In an funny sort of way it seemed that the universe only sent me what it knew I could deal with at the time.

Anticipatory anxiety didn't leave for a while after that. What if.. was still a favourite of mine but the responses/ retorts I gave back to myself got better..

Invest in some Febrese or even better Mai Chang or other nice smelling essential oil to help clear the environment quicker.




Well Done Tammy.



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

Trev
06-10-05, 22:11
I think you are doing really well Tammy.

Maybe try and introduce more relaxation practices to counteract the extra loading you have currently experienced at this time?

On the positive side you are getting better at dealing with the sickness which is a fantastic step forward.

Take care. Hope it all goes well tomorrow :D,

Trev x

tammyg
07-10-05, 18:55
Thanks for your replies.

Meg - *In an funny sort of way it seemed that the universe only sent me what it knew I could deal with at the time.*

This is very true - I had decided I was ready for a challenge, but I didn't realise I would get three altogether! Thanks for sharing your experience, I was hoping it would get easier each time, just wanted to hear it from someone who had been there.

Trev - am continuing with the relaxation CD which is going well. Thanks for the encouragement. Nothing happened today, thankfully! I was a bit worried because a parent said their child had been ill in the night (why would you send them to school?!! poor child!) but she seemed ok, I even worked with her for a while.

Maybe I am getting used to it all a bit more. I will have to if this bug keeps going round - all the exposure I need!

Tammy x