Does the anxiety ever go?

[blackie]

Hi all

It has been a while since i last wrote on the forum. I have sufferred from agoraphobia for the last 3-4 years where i have been house bound for two. In the last year i have managed to leave the house, attend tutorials for my OU degree and a week long residential school in Sussex. I can go into town with mum and i walk to my allotment on good days.

The thing is i still get very anxious most of the time and i dont know how to move onto the next step. I have some nights when i just lay awake all night in a state of panic. I cannot drive and i live in a tiny village making going out difficult as i have to rely on other people. I am feeling very trapped as i have not left the house for the last 2 weeks apart from the allotment. I dont see other people apart from my parents and just want to have a normal life.

I guess i feel i have worked so hard, faced up to so many fears and yet still i feel i am a long way from better. Leaving the house on avarage of once a week just is not enough. But i keep racking my brains for thigs i can do and it comes back to transport problems. I just want the anxiety to go.

Thanks for listening.
Blackie

[chantelle]

Hi Blackie

I feel the same as you although I do not have agrophobia. The only thing to do is to look back at your progress and be positive that you will get there soon - you have done so well - it's just the last push you need. If you start to talk to yourself positively that will help. I am also listening to a hypnotherapy tape by Paul Mc Kenna called 'Instant Confidence', recommended by someone on this site. It is great and tells us about the power of the unconcious mind. I got it on Amazon and it was the best £8 ever spent!!!!
Take care and good luck - you will get there,
Chantelle

[Veronica H]

Hi Blackie

If you have not yet seen it there is a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes called 'self help for your nerves', published by Thorsons. This is available from the NMP Shop. Her work can also be downloaded free to your MP3 from the shop. I can't recommend this enough, as it really explains what is happening to us, and how we can recover.
I have recently been working through 'The mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety' John.P.Forsyth,PHD. and Georg H. Eifert,PHD. (put there PHD's in as OU grad myself and know how much effort goes in:)). Published by New Harbinger. This builds on the idea of acceptance and both are experts in CBT but now favour mindfulness as a more long term way of changing the way we think. I hope this helps.

Veronica BSc:)

[Gregor]

Hi Blackie,

I can relate exactly to how you're feeling. I had been housebound for a year, but got through that eventually. Now, i'm in a situation where i can go out the house maximum 3 times per week. That's reliant on others helping me. I find that's not enough. Ideally i'd like to go out every single day becasue the more you do, the more used to it you get. However, the more you retreat - from anything - the worse you will get.

The above advice from the others is good and my additional advice is to try to find a way of getting out as much as possible. Even if it is for short walks - somewhere, anywhere. Don't stay in the whole day if you can help it. I cant because of my stairs phobia thing, but as long as you can set foot outdoors, just do so - walk round the block or wherever. I cant give specific advice as i dont know your exact circumstances, but you need to keep up going out. I'm sure you know more than most how bad agoraphobia is.

[blackie]

Hiya

Thank you for you replys.

Chantelle- yes i must list the possitive of how far i have come and how much more i can do now compared to a year ago. I am very glad you are finding the hypnotherpy book a help. I was thinking about trying acupunture and a waiting for the doctor to get back to me.

Veronica- well done on graduating with the OU. For me the OU has been a real life saver. They have to be the kindest organisation that treat you with repect and go out of their way to help you acheive your full potential. I have just finished CBT and it was really helpful. I will check out the Claire Weekes book. I have heard people talk about it before.

Gregor-This is very good advice. I am lucky to have an allotment to walk to and if i make myself go then i ussally feel much better for it. Really well done on getting out at all. Making the first step is one of the hardest so three times a week is better then none. I really hope you can gain more confidence with it.

Thanks again people. Today i have just been out with a friend to the local town. It is the first time i have been out to see a friend in 3 years. A big step for me. I felt a bit childish having to be picked up by my parents but other then that i was ok and had a good time. It has made me consider learning to drive again. I got to the point where i could take my test but chicken out because of anxiety. I will write a letter to my old driving instructor who was really understanding. Maybe i can do it in small baby steps.

Take care all
Blackie