View Full Version : hiv fear overwhelming me.
eleanor_rigby
18-08-09, 22:42
I've posted about this before but I'm finally going to get tested because it has been three months and I'm so scared. I gave unprotected oral sex. There was no ejaculation in my mouth but I did it for ages. The guy is of unknown status and we are both students. I've read over and over again, low risk, low risk but I'm still terrified. Man I got optic neuritus and that was 1 in 100,000 risk. I just keep looking for different stats, oral sex stats, uk stats, midlands stats, young people stats. Anything that might indicate there's like basically ZERO chance. I just don't know how I'm going to cope waiting a damn week for the results! I've had a full blood count and that was all normal. I also haven't been at all ill over these few months so ruling out any ARS symptoms. This makes me feel a little better. I just need some kind words so I can sleep. All I can think about is how happy I'll be if this is negative and how I'll be a better person. But at the same time a person very afraid. This is going to affect my future relationships because I will be so sexually afraid. I dunno HA is horrible but part of me thinks it's also sensible.
hi :) it is sensible to be concerned, I suppose, but in moderation - not to the point that you're worrying constantly! Chances are you probably won't have HIV, I think, and you're doing the right thing by going for a test - I understand it'll be difficult to relax until then but distraction might be the key, like getting stuck into a good book or hobby? That's what I'm always advised when I'm anxious anyway. Sending you virtual hug, hope everything goes OK x
nomorepanic
18-08-09, 22:53
I would say the chances are very very low of you getting it at all to be honest.
Hi just want you to know that the chance of catching HIV from a person who you know actually has it through full sex is 0.05% each encounter. Oral sex is even lower.
Also , in uk the ratio of folks with and without is around 1:10,000........80, ooo have it and 60, 000 000 in population.
I think your worry is out of proportion with the situational facts because of anxiety , i have this problem too about hiv and i found that five negative test later i still have that horrible anxious doubting feeling so much so that i spend all day thinking tha i have it and have found what the internet said is actuall signs of the ilness in me and my partner and my baby. Also i beleive that my best friend has these signs too and i worry that i have given her it when she used my razor to shave her legs.
I am seeing a psychologist and he has told me that I have generalised anxiety disorder and health anxiety with components of OCD.
Why have you suddenly foccussed on HIV? Were you generally anxious anyway?
Hope your feeling okay
Lisa
xxxxx
Just a quick note to say, I've been seeing a cbt counsellor who worked in HIV for 10years she said she's NEVER come accross anyone who caught it orally
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