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Starlet_24
07-10-05, 05:48
Hello all from the States....Missouri to be exact:)
I am a 24 year old woman who has struggled with panic disorder since
I was 14-15 though I had no idea what it was until I was about 16/17.

Anyways, I thought I had beat Panic ----my last relapse was 1 and half a ago where it was your normal symptoms. Ok, this is the thing.
I have been under INTENSE stress, loss of job----roommate getting fired as well----I had to move to new apartment----no money----many family problems etc. etc. Well anyways about 3 weeks ago in the midst of all this stress, I became so fearful that I was going to go insane----this fear overtook me and right before my mother's eyes----I had a severe panic attack one of which I had never before. Normally, my fear is dying but this was a fear of going insane. Anyways, it took 2 days to recover because I felt sooooo spacey and fake and still uneasy. I was afraid this might end up in another panic deal which can last for Lord knows how long. Anyways, I have been experiencing TERRIBLE attacks in and out all day where I am petrified that I am going insane or am severely mentally disturbed. Earlier this evening I became so sick and panicked while reading a post by someone else that intense anxiety and fears are a sign of schizophrenia. I almost felt like passing out. I am so afraid that I truly might be losing it because all I can think about is going insane and not being able to care for myself. This has been intense over the past week or so to the point where I cannot hardly function. I thought I had this thing licked but it's back!!!!!! Seems everytime it comes back it comes back with new fears and worse symptoms. For instance, I normally have terrible skipped and racing heartbeats and sweating and tingling whereas now I have all of those plus nausea----loss of appetite ( I have lost several pounds over the last couple of weeks) dizziness and choking feelings.

My question I have always held irrational fears like diseases, death, God hating me, and so forth but is it normal to be so panicked by the idea od going insane? I literally go to b ed and wake up feeling intense dread as if this might be the day where I am hauled away to a nut ward. This is the most terrifying experience and I start a new job on Monday and am so worried that I will not be able to handle all this. Please someone tell me what could be going on!


Starlet_24

mum2four
07-10-05, 06:40
There is one thing that ease's my mind when I start to lthink I'm going insane. The is that to best of my knowlage the insane dont think or know thay are insane.



:D


I went threw a job loss and my partner's lost his job just after having a our 3rd child and life went down hill fast all in short space of time and was treated for depression because of it all. It can be hard thing to go threw but it's been a fue now and life is looking so better and i'm still dealing with a lot of anxiety but I'm getting there. It might be little comfort it was for me at time but looking back at where I was and where I am now the saying "what dosen't brack up will make us stronger" is so true to me these and it's huge positive for me in time's of anxiety. Even if you dont see that yet I'm positive that you will one day soon.

I hope you feel better soon.

Meg
07-10-05, 09:22
I'm new! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3739)
http:// www.nomorepanic.org.uk /lounge/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=1299
Madness (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5154)
mentally ill?! worries (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5335)


Nothing you say makes me concerned that you are indeed going mad.

You are experiencing acute panic and emotional distress from that.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

hunny
07-10-05, 09:44
Hi Starlet
You are NOT going insane.Believe it or not the things you describe are VERY common amongst a lot of us here,me included.
Pm me any time

Hunny xx

eeyorelover
07-10-05, 14:40
Hi starlet -
Hi think that alot of people who suffer panic have that fear. What if I am going mad? is probably one of the first truely terrifying thoughts I ever had when I first started having panic. But the fact is that you are not going crazy. Mom 2 4 is right when she said people who do go insane normal don't see anything wrong with themselves. I know that it is hard but try to talk yourself through it and see if that helps. something like, I'm not crazy - it's just panic. I have had this feeling before. I got through it then and I can get through it now.
hope it helps and if you need to talk - feel free to PM me

Sandy
(eeyorelover)

If the world didn't suck... we'd all fall off :)

Trev
07-10-05, 15:06
I should think most of us on here have been through this one, I certainly did.
You are not going insane it's part of the whole "anxiety state" thing and it's very common.
Have you ever read any of the Claire Weekes books? In "Self Help For Your Nerves" she explains the process of what happens perfectly. I'd recommend it.

All the best,
Trev

bluebottle
07-10-05, 15:17
If you were to ask anxiety sufferers what was their biggest fear it would probably be the fear of "going mad". Losing control is another facet of that fear.

Rest assured your very normal.

--
Blue -
"Your truth is better for you than someone else's. Just get to know what it is, so you can finally own it, and speak it."

emz05
07-10-05, 15:33
My panic attacks began about 2 months ago now, after about 5 weeks i had got used to them and was learning to cope, with the help of two herbal remedies, aconite and rock rose. For about 3 weeks i was fine then over the last few days the panic has come back with a vengeance and one of my new fears is going mad. Particularly, as you mentioned, the fear of being schizophrenic but this website has been a huge comfort to me. It helps me to know that i am not the only one who has felt this way. As many people said to me it is impossible to make yourself mad, the very fact you think you are going mad means you CAN'T be. Please remember you are not alone!

Emma x x

Karen
07-10-05, 16:40
I think most of us worry that we are going mad at some point, or are going to lose it altogether. It is anxiety and will not happen.

People with schizophrenia, or who are 'insane' don't realise that they are ill and think it is everyone around them who has the problem.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

clickaway
08-10-05, 00:49
Hi Starlet,

You seem to have more than enough to concern you at the moment, so its hardly surprising that you are having a new bout of panic attacks.

But you will get over this.

Fear of going mad or insane is just another form of health anxiety. Such fears do not go straight away in my experience, but they do over time.

Your case is a fairly typical one - loads of us here can relate to your experience!

Hope all goes well for Monday. Once you have your feet under the table there, the wobbles may go....

Take Care,

Ray

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers