Hi i'm new. My anxiety is MS. Or Brain Tumours. Or MND.

[Scared]

Hi I am new to this and i am just going to take the plunge and get it all out, it might be a bit long.

I am 29, I have a good life and a wonderful family. I am also going out of my mind.


In May i noticed while gardening that my hands felt a bit weak. Over the next few weeks it progressed to pins and needles.. I went to the Dr who said she didnt know what it was, it might be 'just one of those things' and to go back in a few weeks if it didnt get better. The pins and needles stayed and my left hand felt useless and I started worrying about it. I went back to the Drs who ran tests for B12 deficiency and thyroid etc. these were fine. Then i started googling and discovered MS and from then I had a month of going absolutly out of my mind. I read a symptoms list somewhere and literally within an hour i had developed several of them. It was around that time i had what i think was my first anxiety 'attack' which was horrid. The anxiety was so consuming, sapping my enjoyment out of everything.

Back to the Dr, hands still bad. She recommends going to see a chiropractor. I didn't mention the Anxiety, I thought I was going mad. Chiro was amazing, cost me a bloody fortune but really did work. My hands started getting better immediatly. It seems I had an actual real condition called Thorasic Outlet Syndrome.. I know, it sounds made up. Maybe it is.

I was still sufferering in my head and my body was still playing up - pins and needles everywhere ( except of course my hands! ), twitches and spasms, headaches, eyeache, floaters, seeing flashes of light just outside my feild of view, insomnia, short temper, numbness etc etc etc.. lots of MS symptoms.

Back to the Dr again who i think finally realised just how ill i was making myself, she told me i have PTSD although i am not sure i do and prescribed me Sertraline which i haven't taken and referred me to councilling which i have yet to get an appointment for.

That was about 7 weeks ago. I actually felt better after that appointment, i think getting it all out in the open helped.

The last week has been bad though, horrible infact. I don't know what had reignited the fears but they are back with a vengance and so are the physical symptoms.

:(

I don't expect anyone to reply to this i just thought it might help me to get it all down on paper so to speak.

The PTSD was caused by the very premature birth of my Son last year, He almost died, the fact that he didn't is a miracle.

[tiredOfOcd]

The PTSD was caused by the very premature birth of my Son last year, He almost died, the fact that he didn't is a miracle.


So you've been on the caring for an infant treadmill - feed the baby, change the baby, play with the baby, hope the baby sleeps.

On top of that, the child's birth was more traumatic than normal.

On top of that, you dealt with being pregnant.

On top of that, you dealt with the rest of your life and responsibilities.

Lady, I've got to tell you, what you've endured would alot for a roomful of people to handle; let alone one person.



Back to the Dr again who i think finally realised just how ill i was making myself, she told me i have PTSD although i am not sure i do and prescribed me Sertraline which i haven't taken and referred me to councilling which i have yet to get an appointment for.


Why are you avoiding the meds?

Is the delay in getting to an counselor due to their schedule or are you putting it off. If talking to your Dr helped, imagine what talking to someone who's had special training to help people will do.



The last week has been bad though, horrible infact. I don't know what had reignited the fears but they are back with a vengance and so are the physical symptoms.


That's what the meds and counselor are for. The meds help dampen your symptoms, the counselor helps uncover the cause and help you learn how to deal with them.



I don't expect anyone to reply to this i just thought it might help me to get it all down on paper so to speak.


I'll bet it does.

Are you getting any help with the baby?

[Scared]

The baby is fine, he's wonderful infact. I dont feel at all as if i am struggling with him now, or our other child.. apart from the fact she's driving me round the bend due to being off for 6 weeks summer break. I don't know why i feel how i do but it's not because i am over stressed at home, my life is good, i have no reason atall to feel crap now :(

The drugs scare me. a lot. My partner didn't want me to take them. He said a women he knew at work took them and was 'never the same again' several people have given me tales of their addicted friends and the side effects sounds pretty horrid. I'm breastfeeding aswell and although i have been assure by the Dr that sertraline is fine, i'd rather not, my son is still very small.

The councilling just seems to be taking ages to get an appointment.. i chased it up today so hopefully it wont be long.

I really appreciate you takign the time to reply.

[Joeybear]

Hi,

I could have written your exact post. My health anxiety started when I was pregnant with my third and was triggered by a not very nice foreign consultant who told me that I could be suffering from leukaemia, lupus and a whole host of other blood disorders when in actual fact it was a pregnancy related thing that resolves itself after pregnancy and which I had also gone through with my other 2 pregnancies and I am still here to tell the tale!

Anyway since then I have googled every symptom that I experience from shooting head pains to pins and needles to chest pains to pins and needles in my hands and feet and always manage to self diagnose and convince myself that I have whatever I have self diagnosed! At the moment I feel as though my right foot is tingling and my right hand is weaker than usual so maybe I have ms??

I won't go to my doctor because I know that he will tell me that it is all anxiety related and like you I know that I really want to try and deal with it myself and not resort to taking medications.

I think the fact that as Mums we are often tired etc probably plays a big part in all of this- I don;t think I've had a full nights sleep for 5 years and also have a very argumentative 5 year old, naughty 3 year old and baby who has just started walking.

Anyway just wanted to respond to your post and say that you're not alone!!

Take care hunny xx

[tiredOfOcd]

The baby is fine, he's wonderful infact. I dont feel at all as if i am struggling with him now, or our other child.. apart from the fact she's driving me round the bend due to being off for 6 weeks summer break. I don't know why i feel how i do but it's not because i am over stressed at home, my life is good, i have no reason atall to feel crap now :(


I've noticed that when I get thru something difficult, its when all the pressure is off that I start having problems. Like I'm so busy keeping things together that I don't have time to worry about anything. Then, when things calm down, I've got the time and energy to worry about unrealistic stuff.



The drugs scare me. a lot. My partner didn't want me to take them. He said a women he knew at work took them and was 'never the same again' several people have given me tales of their addicted friends and the side effects sounds pretty horrid.


I had all the same misgivings when the dr's suggested I start taking Prozac to help control my OCD.

My misgivings were all groundless. I'll admit my experience has been so overwhelmingly positive that it HAS to lie at the far end of the bell curve, but sometimes meds do help.

As far as the woman your partner knows - who gave her which meds and why? There was a period of time, in the US where I live, dr's NOT in the mental health field were perscribing Prozac for all kinds of problems for which its marginally apporpriate. Why? Heavy marketing and incentives from drug companies. I got my meds from a psychiatrist who continues (7 years later) to monitor how I'm reacting to them.

Meanwhile, I've had friends start anti depressants based on (IMO) unqualified dr's advice, have problems and then discontinue the meds on their own.

Except these meds mess with your brain chemistry (OCD and depression have been linked to a lack of some chemicals in the brain) so taking yourself off of them is, IMO, the same as working on the engine of a car speeding down the road. Its just not smart.

As for addiction, my Mom had this conversation with her dr about the antidepressants she takes. He told her "Its an addiction if you take them for fun."

If you need meds to help you control a condition then you aren't addicted, you are taking the meds for the purpose they were created.



I'm breastfeeding aswell and although i have been assure by the Dr that sertraline is fine, i'd rather not, my son is still very small.


I'm a father, and I understand being careful about your children's health.

Why don't you believe the dr?



The councilling just seems to be taking ages to get an appointment.. i chased it up today so hopefully it wont be long.


Good.



I really appreciate you takign the time to reply.


We're all in this together. I help you when you're down; maybe someday you help me when I'm down.

[Scared]

I think the tiredness is playing a big part in it too.. what i woud give for a proper sleep. My son is still getting me up every few hours [yawn]

I try not to Google now but i read ( at the Drs today ironically ) that there are 85000 MS sufferers in the uk to i told myself that there was pretty good odds that i don't have it, given that there ar esomething like 60million people here... sometimes i am 100% convinced though and i am not the luckiest person in the world.

[tiredOfOcd]

I think the tiredness is playing a big part in it too.. what i woud give for a proper sleep. My son is still getting me up every few hours
[/qutoe]

Still? That's awful. You need sleep. The lack of it will screw with your perception. From birth to 3 months my son had colic. For the first 6 weeks I thought I was going to die. For the next 6 weeks I thought I was going to lose my mind.

Can your partner help? You need sleep.

[quote]
I try not to Google now but i read ( at the Drs today ironically ) that there are 85000 MS sufferers in the uk to i told myself that there was pretty good odds that i don't have it, given that there ar esomething like 60million people here... sometimes i am 100% convinced though and i am not the luckiest person in the world.

Luck has little to do with it. The fact is MS is uncommon.

I think your dr has the right idea - treating it as an outgrowth of traumatic stress.

[Mamfa85]

hi i had my baby 3 months a ago and lost a lot of blood i was poorly for a little while.u sound so similar to me(poor you),my life is great i have two lovely daughters and i have all the symptons u have,dizziness,twinkly lights i see in the corner ,and pins and needles.anxiety symptons can be very powerful and its surprising the horrible symptoms you get,i still think its something more serious a lot of the time.i think sometimes when you go through a time of struggling really bad or near lossess you realise life is very fragile and although i thought i knew this it is different to experience.im constantly paranoid of my health and others i love but i try so hard to overcome them.take care:)

[barbn]

HI! Your post made me think of myself - I think I should be banned fromt he internet sometimes as everytime I get a pain, bump or anyting - I find disease on the internet is it a symptom of. Right now (not to be gross), my anxiety has been VERY high and have been going through a few bouts of loose stools and constipation - so of course I have colon cancer!

Anyway, you not crazy - it is amazing how hormones, our age and just everyday life affects how we feel and how our bodies operate. I know I am tired right now, since I am not sleeping well at night, so that makes things worse - so I am sure that isn't helping you! I have good days and bads days....Myself I am trying medication. I figured why not, if I can find something to help me feel better then it was worth it!!

[Joeybear]

There was an article last weekend apparently about people like us who google their symptoms- I find that I go to my doctor and he says ok then I'll give you antibiotics without even properly checking that I have in fact got whatever illness I said I had.

From what I have read and researched people with Ms can't get out of bed in the mornings and struggle with day to day tasks and most of the time something major like the fact that they can't move their leg or their vision goes in one eye is what prompts their diagnosis.

I really think that sleep deprivation is a big factor for people like you and I just hope that we can both get through this and be strong for our kiddies!

x

[Mamfa85]

i have everything,i check internet at nite and it scares me ,my doctor probely thinks im a pain and i feel bad going now.but half the time when someone knows your a panicker they dont take you seriously