MarcusUK
09-10-05, 02:40
Hello there and thanks for reading my post :) i had written in before but cant find my old post so thought id start again.
The reason i didnt post back was because my pc broke and has taken awhile to get the funds to buy a new one, nice to say its online and im back and running yay.
Firstly id like to congratulate the website owners as its a very helpful website and most deffinatly a inspiring place for people such as myself to take comfort and knowledge were not alone and these problems can be defeated so well done :)
Pretty much i am a 25 yr old who has suffered agraphobia/panic attacks for 3 years now. I was at university far away from home when all of a sudden i felt different and worried. After awhile this feeling became unbearable and i had to drop out and return home. Feeling bad about doing that as i enjoyed it so much i developed depression and with that came anxiety. Slowly after time i began to fear going far from my home because whenever i did i would start to sweat/feel light headed and generally awkward and the only way for it to pass was to assumably get home (safe place).
Now after much consoltaion with my doctor he diagnosed agraphobia. So for the past 3 years i have been suffering it and at one point was totaly house bound.
In that time i was fortunate enough to find someone who i care for more then anything in this world and would see her nearly everyday. The thing is she now goes to cambridge university so i no-longer get to see her as frequent as id like but we do obviously speak on the phone everyday.
Shes been a great help to me and when i was depressed made me feel like i was special when i believed i was worthless as why would somebody wana be with someone who cant promise them a future and happy times that normal people/couples could have, i never really understood why she would stay with me but as time passed i realised love isnt something you choose nor control so i accepted she loved me and i honestly believe after i came to terms that its possible someone could care for me my depression went away :)
So now i no-longer have these negative thoughts were i picture everything going wrong and with this came confidence in myself that i want to beat this not only for me but also for her. As i mentioned before i was kinda house bound and didnt do much because if i went outside id have a panic attack and rush home again feeling bad about it.
But for the first time in a long time i can now go outside alone and take a stroll to the end of my road and feel ok about it. Id say i can walk around a mile away from my house before i start to feel slightly uneasy then start to make my way back.
Because my gf is away from me i do feel down sometimes but i somehow now have turned that into determination to wana overcome it and go see her at university. Because this is where my ilness came from im sure you can understand how id be slightly worried about returning. But i want to so much that i have set this as my goal. Cambridge is about 3hrs drive from where i am so though people may not think its far to an agraphobic it might aswell be mars.
After seeing my doctor and being refered to a mental health practioner and having a few sessions of that i have been accepted onto a waiting list to finally get help from specialists, the problem is this waiting list is long. So the reason im posting is does anyone have any ideas as to how i could continue my self help therapy?
I realise its gona take time and im not setting myself a deadline because that could lead to disapointment but ideally i think this is more to do with self confidence then anything and i honestly believe if i keep myself busy and keep trying i can make huge strides in the right direction before seeing the specialists and maybe just maybe have enough will power to go and see my gf at cambridge which would not only mean so much to her but mean if i can conquer this one goal i could deffinatly conquer the problem all together.
Too long have i allowed this thing to ruin my life and not even attempt to fight back but believe
The reason i didnt post back was because my pc broke and has taken awhile to get the funds to buy a new one, nice to say its online and im back and running yay.
Firstly id like to congratulate the website owners as its a very helpful website and most deffinatly a inspiring place for people such as myself to take comfort and knowledge were not alone and these problems can be defeated so well done :)
Pretty much i am a 25 yr old who has suffered agraphobia/panic attacks for 3 years now. I was at university far away from home when all of a sudden i felt different and worried. After awhile this feeling became unbearable and i had to drop out and return home. Feeling bad about doing that as i enjoyed it so much i developed depression and with that came anxiety. Slowly after time i began to fear going far from my home because whenever i did i would start to sweat/feel light headed and generally awkward and the only way for it to pass was to assumably get home (safe place).
Now after much consoltaion with my doctor he diagnosed agraphobia. So for the past 3 years i have been suffering it and at one point was totaly house bound.
In that time i was fortunate enough to find someone who i care for more then anything in this world and would see her nearly everyday. The thing is she now goes to cambridge university so i no-longer get to see her as frequent as id like but we do obviously speak on the phone everyday.
Shes been a great help to me and when i was depressed made me feel like i was special when i believed i was worthless as why would somebody wana be with someone who cant promise them a future and happy times that normal people/couples could have, i never really understood why she would stay with me but as time passed i realised love isnt something you choose nor control so i accepted she loved me and i honestly believe after i came to terms that its possible someone could care for me my depression went away :)
So now i no-longer have these negative thoughts were i picture everything going wrong and with this came confidence in myself that i want to beat this not only for me but also for her. As i mentioned before i was kinda house bound and didnt do much because if i went outside id have a panic attack and rush home again feeling bad about it.
But for the first time in a long time i can now go outside alone and take a stroll to the end of my road and feel ok about it. Id say i can walk around a mile away from my house before i start to feel slightly uneasy then start to make my way back.
Because my gf is away from me i do feel down sometimes but i somehow now have turned that into determination to wana overcome it and go see her at university. Because this is where my ilness came from im sure you can understand how id be slightly worried about returning. But i want to so much that i have set this as my goal. Cambridge is about 3hrs drive from where i am so though people may not think its far to an agraphobic it might aswell be mars.
After seeing my doctor and being refered to a mental health practioner and having a few sessions of that i have been accepted onto a waiting list to finally get help from specialists, the problem is this waiting list is long. So the reason im posting is does anyone have any ideas as to how i could continue my self help therapy?
I realise its gona take time and im not setting myself a deadline because that could lead to disapointment but ideally i think this is more to do with self confidence then anything and i honestly believe if i keep myself busy and keep trying i can make huge strides in the right direction before seeing the specialists and maybe just maybe have enough will power to go and see my gf at cambridge which would not only mean so much to her but mean if i can conquer this one goal i could deffinatly conquer the problem all together.
Too long have i allowed this thing to ruin my life and not even attempt to fight back but believe