Do you ever feel alone?

[barbn]

Or feel like your family and friends are getting frustrated with you?? I think I drive my husband nuts and my mom (who is an RN) keeps telling me there is nothing wrong with me and told me to get busy and do something and not think about it. I wish it were that simple - the worry invades every part of my life.

My system is all screwed up fromt he worry and poor diet I have - of course this morning I had a thin poop so now I have colon cancer again - because in my mind nothing else would cause a thin poop.

I feel very alone right now!:emot-fail:

P.S. I made the mistake of googling my systems - not good!

[teez]

who was it who said you can be lonely in a room full of people,,tis how i feel,,i feel that im not understood,,even heard,,and the worst of that is,,im cutting myself off further by going into myself,,,its why i keep animals,,someone will talk to me about one of my pets, and i will talk freely as its a subject i love,, but i do understand how you feel,,take care :hugs:

[shaka]

Hi barbn
Im sorry you are having such a bad time anxiety is abig bully .Good news is it can be beat .with relaxation breathing exercises you will start to feel like you again

shaka x

[barbn]

Thank you - honestly I don't want people to enable me to be like this. I don't want people so say "oh you poor thing - let me help you"....but its hard when people don't understand that these worries are real!! And if I could get a grasp on this on keep busy to not think about it ....of courseI would. I DON'T want to be liek this. My mother said to me today that - "you were like this as a kid I should have known" - to her she was giving me a hard time and hoping I woudl laugh - to me it was just a jab with a knife!

[shaka]

barbn
Anyone who has suffered anxiety knows you dont want to be this way.
Ive learnt not to worry about people think off me, put all my energy in getting better .You will gets lots of help here so you are not alone anymore.
best wishes shaka x

[MandySlade]

Constant reassurance seeking can be taxing on loved ones. I know how you feel, because in your mind you -need- to have that reassurance in order to stop, or at least temporarily subside, your anxiety. I know it's not "your fault" you have hypochondria, but to those around you it's similar to a little kid going "mom, mom, mom, mom, mom *poke poke* mom, mom, mom". Also, people get frustrated because they feel like you're asking the same question over and over and they're giving the same answer over and over and you aren't "aren't listening".

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this makes you a bad person. I'm just saying you have to consider it from their point of view. Imagine your husband asks you if you paid a certain bill this month, and you say yes. Now imagine that 5 minutes later he asks you if you're SURE. You say yes again. Imagine that in 10 more minutes or so, he asks you again if you're sure you paid it and then explains how awful it would be if you didnt. Eventually, you would get irritated and not want to hear about it anymore. Imagine if he asked you EVERY DAY.. maybe a different bill or task.. but the similar questions. It gets old.

I speak from experience. I've nearly ruined my relationship over this crap. For instance, I had my boyfriend look at the wound area where my wisdom tooth was extracted a couple days ago. I can't really see back there, plus I was afraid to look. He said "It looks fine". The next day, I went to work, and the entire day I thought about what "fine" means and I started to question the expression he had when he said it and the level of attention he might have or have not been paying to it. Did he REALLY look? Was he afraid to tell me something was wrong? etc. I debated calling him and asking for hours.. at which point I finally broke down and called him to ask if he's SURE it looked ok the night before.

As you can imagine, he was not pleased.

Even as I type this now I'm thinking about how I'm going to ask him to look when he gets home because I'm super paranoid about developing a dry socket and I'm still in the "danger zone" time-frame wise.

These sorts of reassurances are normal OCCASIONALLY for all people. Everyone gets scared about their health sometimes and asks someone "Hey, does this look normal?" or "Have you ever had this happen?". The difference is that we do it constantly and over every/anything we determine is wrong. So, even when there IS a good deal of valid concern, it's like we've "cried wolf" so long that we've desensitized our friends and family.

The only way to "fix" that problem, and trust me.. I need to as well, is to STOP asking for reassurance. You know it won't REALLY make you feel better anyway. You'll find a new symptom to ask about or a new "way" to ask about the same symptom. You might feel better for a few minutes.. maybe even days.. but you'll obsess again.

My point is, reassurance does -not- fix health anxiety and therefor it's a useless and often times damaging "symptom" of it. In fact, many therapists will tell you that allowing your family/friends to reassure you constantly is actually enabling your anxiety. Because you will never learn to gain your own confidence/assurance or techniques for coping.

[MandySlade]

My mother said to me today that - "you were like this as a kid I should have known" - to her she was giving me a hard time and hoping I woudl laugh - to me it was just a jab with a knife!

Not to sound like a B*tch, but hey, she's your mother. She's at least SOMEWHAT responsible for how you were as a kid. Also, she should understand that if you've been that way since childhood, it's obviously something deeply rooted.

I don't blame my mother for all my problems, including H.A. but when I think back to my childhood..
-I went to the ER about 3-4 times a year as a child. Seriously... over every little thing.
-My mom used to show me pictures of kids with rickets because I was a "picky eater". She'd tell me this would happen to me if I didn't eat right.
-I could name tons of diseases by the time I was in middle school. I didn't learn them on my own.

etc. etc. etc..

[barbn]

MandySlade -

You are right - I do find myself asking a million people for reassurance and in th end it makes me feel good for about an hour and then I am right back where I was. To be honest my husband and mom are great - I think sometimes I drive them up a wall and they have every right to feel like that.

The good news is I am going to see the GP on Wednesday to chat about my depression/anxiety medication - this was a prescheduled appointment. At that time I will let her know my anxiety is getting a bit hard to deal with and see what she suggests. She is great she doesn't automatically propose medication - she trys to use a combination of medication and other avuenues.

Thank you everyone for all of your advice!! I am so glad I found this forum - it helps to know there are others out there feeling the same way I do!

Barb

P.S. I know this will get better - its just a matter of finding out the right combination.