New to health anxiety but not to panic

[SharonDerby]

:weep: Hi all
not too sure where to start, i guess the begining is a good a place as any.

I have suffered for many many years with panic and anxiety but it has got so much better over the years, i do have a very severe phobia of vomiting, i think that is a result of the original stress and anxiety not being delt with properly and it manifested itself as a phobia.
Anyway i am now 46 and for some very strange reason i have all of a sudden out of the blue (last 7 weeks) developed this awful fealing that something terrible is happening to me, strange thoughts, waking up early (early as in 6 rather than 8 for work) or in the night like 2-3 am i am exhausted and look like i have been kicked around a football pitch a few times, i have started to feel very low for no reason at all, normally i can shake of low moods but now i can't, i have started to feel at work like i'm not functioning properly and think everyone else thinks the same, altho no one has said anything , it's all getting very frightening for me, i have now come to the conclusion that due to very mild and i meen very mild headaches that i have a brain tumor, and i am suffering from depression which is going to lead to me doing something silly, it's like i dont want to say i am depressed incase the doctor gives me anti depressants and then takes me off to hospital because i'm crazy or something this is another fear that seams to have manifested itself don't get me wrong i deeply understand what it's like for those who do suffer severe depression and i only wish i could help them.
I am terrified of these thoughts, these feelings i don't know where they have started or why but they are setting me back 20 years.
I am very reluctant to say that i have been very stressed out for the last 18 months with various things and last winter with the vomiting virus almost saw the end of me, as i said i am very reluctant to mention this as i don't want the doctor to tell me it's stress because it feels very real and frightening and in my mind can not possibley be stress......am i making sense?

I am wondering if it's monopausal, like i said i'm 46 this year but after looking at web sites i'm only half convinced thats the cause which is only making it worse because now i have started looking for other explainations, so far i have a brain tumor, M E, cancer, oh the list is endless.
Anyway is there anyone else out there who has gone through this? i am sure there are, any advice would be more than greatfully accepted.

Sharon :)

[Annie7]

Hello Sharon (Liverbird as well!) This to me sounds loke the menopause kicking in,mixed with anxiety its not pleasant.I have no advice for you except to keep on telling yourself its a natural process which will pass...(thinks..wish i could take me own advice...:blush:

[Jan63]

I think it's the menopause because exactly the same is happening to me. I have never had health anxiety in my life and then last September I got this lump in my throat that I convinced myself was cancer and it's gone on from there. I am the same age as you and I'm worried sick about cancer. Every pain I get is cancer. I got over the lump in my throat thing which turned out to be acid reflux and was okay for a few weeks and then I found a breast lump so my anxiety was back again. Usually they wait for a period to see if the lump goes but I hadn't had a period since August and didn't know when the next one was coming so we couldn't do that.

I attended the breast clinic in January and after two mammograms and an ultrasound they told me it was a cyst and drained it there and then. I was so happy.:D

Next I got a sore throat that lingered for more than the 3 weeks it recommends before you go to the doctor - think it was about 6 weeks and on one side and I could see a white thing at the back of my throat and paniced myself silly over mouth and throat cancer. I finally plucked up the courage to go to the doctors and he took one look and said it was fine. I didn't believe him at first because he didn't seem to have a good enough look but the sore throat went.

I haven't been back to the doctors since April but I have an emergency appointment today because I've had pains going into my ribs and now its right under my ribs and it feels really bloated so I'm worried sick again that it might be something serious. I feel bad taking an emergency appointment but the next free appointment is Wednesday afternoon and I'm going through hell with my anxiety at the moment. :sad:

I'm going to ask to go back on Citalopram too because they really did help me. I was doing well on them and stupidly came off them thinking I was okay and then after the throat scare I asked the doctor for some more and he gave me one packet but I got so anxious just being in the doctors waiting room last time - he kept me waiting for around 40 minutes and I had already got there about 10 minutes before my appointment hoping to get in a bit sooner because my daughter had a swimming lesson at 5.30. My o.h had to take her and I was left on my own and I began to panic and feel ill so I haven't been back to the doctors since that day and came off the citalopram which was stupid, because I didn't have the courage to go back for any more.

If I was you I would give Citalopram a go because I know a lot of people have them and have had success with them. I definitely think the menopause has a lot to do with this because I was never like this when I was younger even though I have had a few cancer scares.

[SharonDerby]

Hi Jan and Annie
thanks for taking time to reply.
I am going to the practice nurse on thur to discuss the menopause issue so i'm hoping for some relife from that apt, maybe try some HRT or something, it's just i'm not convinced it's that of course it has to be something far more serious (sigh).
Jan you do sound in a pretty bad way at the mo, i'm really fealing for you because i have been down the same path as you but many years ago as i said in previous post.
All i can tell you is that don't feel bad about taking any appt at the docs, your problems are as real as anybody else there so you do what you have to get better, it sounds like those tablets were working well for you and as you said it might be good for you to go bac to them at least for the time being.
The things that helped me many years ago at the height of my anxiety was reading the claire weaks books, which i believe are available here at NMP to order, have you ever read them? she wrote a few, one was called pease from nervous suffering, one was hope and help for your nerves, and a couple of others, i can assure you they were a revelation to me and i'd go as far as saying cured me of a lot of whet i was anxious about, so i'd recomend those if you haven't already read them, i'm sure they would be available at the local library too.
As for me like i said b4 one min i'm up the next i'm down so goodness knows whats happening but i am terrified.

Sharon :)

[Jan63]

Yes I'm the same - up and down. I'm fine when I have no symptoms but as soon as I get a symptom then that's it I'm a wreck. :blush:

I'll probably have to have blood tests which he can't do today and you have to go back for on Wednesday. It was so much better in the old days when the doctor did everything there and then and you got it over with.

[Blot]

Hi there ladies, I am 45 years old, have had panic/anxiety disorder for years.Like you I tend to worry about my health, mine is generally a fear of a heart or blood circulatory problem.It has been particularly bad over the past 6 months - really struggling. I discussed my thoughts that I could be menopausal with the GP who did some blood tests measuring my hormone levels - all were normal.He said that even if the results were normal, it did not mean that I was not pre-menopausal. I now find that my anxiety & panic attacks seem to be more frequent just before I start my period. Would it not be fantastic if we could wave a magic wand & this angst would disappear!!!??? A question for you: The doc has increased the dose of my medication - so it is the same drug but made by a different company & I am struggling to take this "new" tablet because I am afraid of allergic reaction.Now remember that it is the same active ingredient, just pakaged & made differently. How do I get my head around this one? I am nuts hey!

[Jan63]

Yes I find that my anxiety seems much worse in the lead up to my period for some reason. I was due to start last Friday and the last few months I have been bang on 28 days but this period doesn't seem like it's going to start and I've started with the bloomin hot sweats again. :sad:

[sharona]

Hi Ladies

Just thought I would add, my anxiety came with the menopause but did not really realise it until I went on and came off anti depressants. I now have the health anxiety thing, every pain and lump is awful, I google every symptom and cannot stop thinking bad thoughts.

Its awful to live with and would not wish it upon anyone. I am peri menopausal. just thought I would let you know I have ben to a menopause clinic for the first time, was put on HRT (only just), I am hoping taht it will ease my symptoms. I will keep you posted.

Kepp your chin up girls, easier said than done.I am definetly coming back as a bloke.

Sharona xxx

[kathee]

sad to say it is most definately meno ...:-( I am 49 and only found out in December that I was menopausal through some blood tests they took for stomach problems, as i had a hysterectomy some years back i did not know... i have had awful anxiety symptoms, stomach problems similar to ibs, headaches and tiredness ...all linked to menopause - my doctor told me to look up the most common 35 symptoms of menopause and I was amazed that most of the "terminal illnesses" i had been suffering from over the past year were indeed symptoms of the dreaded "M" thingie .... as i am due to have surgery soon i cannot take hrt as there is a risk of post operative dvt so i have to put up with it all till after the op ..... when i get the symptoms i just say to myself ... ah yes the blooming "M" thing again ...good luck to us all .....x x x

[SharonDerby]

Hi Kathee,
well of course i had to google the 35 most common symptoms, and guess what i have them all, slight exhageration i have 34 lol.
I have just a few days ago had the FSH test they do to check for the Menopause so i'm am eagerly awaiting the results, i'm almost praying that it's the Menopause because i feel that will make all these symptoms make sense, if they tell me that my hormone levs are normal i think i may crack, i think i'll be even more affraid of whats happening....make sense?
I'm not sure where or what i can do, this morning my partner who's as calm and relaxed as anything woke early and got up, said he's been like this a few days, i think it's because i'm driving him mad bless him and he's worrying about me, he is a lovely guy and i don't want to start making him feel bad so now i'm worrying about that.
Take care hope we all get peace from somewhere.
Sharon xxx.