The Elwood
24-08-09, 20:34
Howdy.
I've just registered to the site - rather than make an introduction post, I thought I'd introduce myself quickly then get to the point!
Anyhow, my name is Mike, I'm 26 years old and have been a police officer for three years. Having read some of the posts and some of the information in the main site, it's opened my eyes as to what's possibly been going on for the last 10 years of my life....!
Over the past few weeks I've been off work with a nasty stomach bug which was treated with suitable medication. The side effect of this was that it coincided with the end of a four week training course at HQ, a course which I had been waiting to complete for ages. Having got to the end of the course, I fell ill and would have had to resit the course - so it would have been four weeks - and all for nought!
For whatever reason, this seemed to kick start a nervous response in my body, which I've encountered before, and had a lot of trouble shifting. In the time after the course, my social and work life has fallen apart. The first sign of things to come was a short shopping trip out - I stopped in a Wimpy with my girlfriend, a place I'd been numerous times before. I'd felt overly hot before I'd sat down, but as soon as I started to order food, my hands became very sweaty, it felt like my temperature shot through the roof and I felt so light headed. When the food was laid in front of me, I gingerly took a couple of mouthfulls before feeling like I was about to throw up, right there in the restuarant. I felt so bad, I had to bail out and return to the car, leaving my poor girlfriend to finish her food herself. Strangely, once back in the car and the A/C was on, I started to feel a bit better.
Trying to ignore this, I went out for dinner with my girlfriend, my sister and her husband. I felt ok for a short while, before the familiar feelings of hotness came over me. I started to do nothing but keep sipping at my lemonade, and repeatedly excusing myself to the gents. Not to vomit, but simply because I felt the need to "number 2". I made it through the meal, not eating a lot, but the meal was cut unnecessarily early.
There have been other minor occasions where I've started to head out with my girlfriend, but then had to return home because I've started to feel sick, hot and have the sweaty hands return.
Naturally, my girlfriend is trying her best to be supportive, but I get the impression her patience is wearing thin and there's only so much she can do. Of course this just adds to my general stress level, as does the amount of time I've had away from work....
As I mentioned before, this is not the first time that I've felt like this. I went on holiday to Florida around 10 years ago. It was the first time away from home proper, certainly in another far away country. There were a few occasions where I had felt queasy, and thought I was going to pass out or throw up in the resturants. I remember coming home from one grilled chicken place and just crashing out on the villa's sofa, and then not waking up until morning.
In 2002, I had the same problems when I worked in London for a year. I had an average office job, and the complete change of pace unsettled me. I eventually stopped going to work because I couldn't face going out and I felt unnaturally ill when I did so. Again this affected relationships outside of work, and subsequently, I came back to the south coast to live with my folks. My health improved, I put back on the weight that I'd lost and generally looked sharper than I had done for a long while.
I then landed a job with the police, and strangely I have never looked back until now. Normally, I deal with stressful situations like water off a ducks back but now I just freak out doing the weekly shop at Tesco! I feel like I've got to get whatever task I'm doing done as quickly as possible so I can return home to the "safe zone"!
I don't know what has triggered these feelings - any thoughts? The only ones I can think of are:
1. Dad passing away when I was 11 (had counselling, though I didn't really benefit at the time).
2. Being picked on at secondary school for this above reason, and the threat of having my head smashed in by this other kid and his gang. I began to shut myself away......
3. Actually getting assaulted prior to the holiday in Florida. I was out walking the dogs with 3 friends when we were jumped by 5 others. 2 of my friends ran off, best friend valiantly tried to help but got hurt himself. I ended up with a closed eye through swelling and bruising, a stylish chipped tooth and shattered confidence.
Who knows? I'm pretty sure it's all in my mind, though I'd be interested to hear your thoughts.
Apologies for the long post! :)
Mike
I've just registered to the site - rather than make an introduction post, I thought I'd introduce myself quickly then get to the point!
Anyhow, my name is Mike, I'm 26 years old and have been a police officer for three years. Having read some of the posts and some of the information in the main site, it's opened my eyes as to what's possibly been going on for the last 10 years of my life....!
Over the past few weeks I've been off work with a nasty stomach bug which was treated with suitable medication. The side effect of this was that it coincided with the end of a four week training course at HQ, a course which I had been waiting to complete for ages. Having got to the end of the course, I fell ill and would have had to resit the course - so it would have been four weeks - and all for nought!
For whatever reason, this seemed to kick start a nervous response in my body, which I've encountered before, and had a lot of trouble shifting. In the time after the course, my social and work life has fallen apart. The first sign of things to come was a short shopping trip out - I stopped in a Wimpy with my girlfriend, a place I'd been numerous times before. I'd felt overly hot before I'd sat down, but as soon as I started to order food, my hands became very sweaty, it felt like my temperature shot through the roof and I felt so light headed. When the food was laid in front of me, I gingerly took a couple of mouthfulls before feeling like I was about to throw up, right there in the restuarant. I felt so bad, I had to bail out and return to the car, leaving my poor girlfriend to finish her food herself. Strangely, once back in the car and the A/C was on, I started to feel a bit better.
Trying to ignore this, I went out for dinner with my girlfriend, my sister and her husband. I felt ok for a short while, before the familiar feelings of hotness came over me. I started to do nothing but keep sipping at my lemonade, and repeatedly excusing myself to the gents. Not to vomit, but simply because I felt the need to "number 2". I made it through the meal, not eating a lot, but the meal was cut unnecessarily early.
There have been other minor occasions where I've started to head out with my girlfriend, but then had to return home because I've started to feel sick, hot and have the sweaty hands return.
Naturally, my girlfriend is trying her best to be supportive, but I get the impression her patience is wearing thin and there's only so much she can do. Of course this just adds to my general stress level, as does the amount of time I've had away from work....
As I mentioned before, this is not the first time that I've felt like this. I went on holiday to Florida around 10 years ago. It was the first time away from home proper, certainly in another far away country. There were a few occasions where I had felt queasy, and thought I was going to pass out or throw up in the resturants. I remember coming home from one grilled chicken place and just crashing out on the villa's sofa, and then not waking up until morning.
In 2002, I had the same problems when I worked in London for a year. I had an average office job, and the complete change of pace unsettled me. I eventually stopped going to work because I couldn't face going out and I felt unnaturally ill when I did so. Again this affected relationships outside of work, and subsequently, I came back to the south coast to live with my folks. My health improved, I put back on the weight that I'd lost and generally looked sharper than I had done for a long while.
I then landed a job with the police, and strangely I have never looked back until now. Normally, I deal with stressful situations like water off a ducks back but now I just freak out doing the weekly shop at Tesco! I feel like I've got to get whatever task I'm doing done as quickly as possible so I can return home to the "safe zone"!
I don't know what has triggered these feelings - any thoughts? The only ones I can think of are:
1. Dad passing away when I was 11 (had counselling, though I didn't really benefit at the time).
2. Being picked on at secondary school for this above reason, and the threat of having my head smashed in by this other kid and his gang. I began to shut myself away......
3. Actually getting assaulted prior to the holiday in Florida. I was out walking the dogs with 3 friends when we were jumped by 5 others. 2 of my friends ran off, best friend valiantly tried to help but got hurt himself. I ended up with a closed eye through swelling and bruising, a stylish chipped tooth and shattered confidence.
Who knows? I'm pretty sure it's all in my mind, though I'd be interested to hear your thoughts.
Apologies for the long post! :)
Mike