I'm scared!!!

[melarney]

Hi! I'm new to this site and thought i might try this as the support and advice you all seem to give each other looks great! I've had panic attacks on and off for 15 years (i'm 36 now) they started when i went to university and eventually led me to drop out of uni before completing my nursing degree!! I now work in pharmacy on an acute psychiatric unit and although i have managed to control the episodes of panic well enough to work full time for 10 years i am now going through an acute phase and am sooo scared!
I've been off work now for 4 weeks and although some days are better than others i am generally really struggling to get on with normal life! I work about 20 miles from home so driving is a neccessity, however, i have massive panic attacks in the car and have run out of odd routes to and from work to avoid 'panic' areas!! I'm too scared to go back to work mainly because of the driving but also because i do not feel in control! I'm so fed up of feeling like this and i'm pretty sure everyone around me is fed up too! Those who have never had the pleasure of feeling like this just don't understand! not on purpose, but i think they are all thinking...just pull yourself together!!
I wish it were that simple!! One of the worst things is the lightheadedness, or dizziness! mainly when i'm panicing but can be on and off all day! I can't work out if the dizziness causes the panic or the panic causes dizziness!! It seems to be so hard to get any kind of help! I've got propranolol to stop the shaking hands etc, which is ok, but what else can i do?? CBT seems to be the way to go, but the waiting lists are huge! I fear i might go mad waiting!! Anyway, i've waffled on for ages now!! thanks for listening! If anyone has any advice i'd be really pleased to hear from you!! :) mel

[CONS]

You have many options in terms of what you can do but here is what i did:

Walked out more and more and stayed outside when having a PA to take the fear away.

Psychology: Went ok until she realised she couldnt help me with my PA/HA

Psychiatry: Pfffft, these people just prescribe meds and dont really get you anywhere

Group therapy: Anxiety management course over 8 weeks, short waiting period, very good to be around people JUST LIKE YOU.

CBT: Not tried this yet but heard its very good.

In top tips on the main forum i posted up what i did to remove 70% of the symptoms, have a little looksy, but know whatever works its YOU thats working for YOU.

:)

[Veronica H]

:welcome: To NMP. Glad that you have found us.

Veronica

[jill]

:welcome: to the site Mel

The hardest thing to know and undersand that the panic, is NOT the root you take, its NOT the car you drive, panic is none of those things, panic, comes from within us, we unkowing label things we feel will make are panic worse or label places we feel panic will happen, this in turn causes us to start avoiding these place or things OR many other things too.

I feel that exposure thearpy does work regarding panic, BUT, BUT, BUT, I feel if you keep doing and keep panicing becaue at this present moment in time you have NOT learnt to except your panic and learnt how to ride your panic, then what you are unknowinly doing is LOCKING your fear in to these types of places. Learning positive self thoughts, learning to challenge those scary thoughts, regarding these things and doing SLOW esposure, this over a long period of time, helps to show YOU that you ARE in control and in time you will start to LOCK IN, those nice feeling regarding your jouney in you car.

So, you have come to this great site, :yesyes: this is the START of YOU taking control, YES :yesyes: :hugs: There is no time limit to your recovery, please try and take the presure off yourself regarding work, this will only feed your anxiety.

YOU HAVE come to the right place there are lots of nice people here who will help and supprt you.

Please take time to read through the site, eg, first steps, how to cope this is on the left hand side of your screen, there is lots of other great info there too and lots more on all threads.

You take care, see yourself better, think yourself better, believe you will get better and your mind WILL find ways to do it.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILL XXXX



There are lots of nice people here who will help and support you

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILL XXX

[deb-22]

If its any help I only had to wait 3 months for CBT...... I also have lightheadiness and dizzy feeling......it is the anxiety
welcome to NMP and good luck

[Madeleine]

Hi Melarney,

I really know how you feel. Am going through what seems to be very similar to you at the moment. I have started CBT and it's only early days so I'll let you know how I get on with it. But a very good friend of mine suffered as we are, she did CBT, and she said it worked wonders!

Would be great to hear back from you so we could discuss our experiences, cos I always feel better when I don't feel like the only one going through this!

Take Care

Madeleine.

[Becky42]

Hi mel,i knw excatly how ur feelin,my panic attacks have been bad since last thursday,ive bn bit betta today,but im worse first thing in mornin and now at night,because ive bn overbreathin 4 days,im achin,neck,my back under my ribs,so painful,im new2 the site2,beck

[melarney]

Hi!
Thank you all who have taken the time to write a message! I'm finding your support a great reassurance already! It's so great to not feel alone with this thing for the first time in ages! It's amazing to realise how many people are going through the same thing! It's incredibly hard dealing with panic/anxiety and really difficult for non sufferers to fullly understand quite how bad you can feel! So it's great to be able to share some of the worries with like minded people! Thanks again and hope to speak to you all soon!
Mel xx:D

[melarney]

Hi Jill,
Thank you so much for your words of support! Really helpful!
Mel xx:D

[melarney]

Hi Madeline,
Thanks for your reply! It's so reassuring to find other people going through the same thing! It really can feel so lonely at times! friends and family are supportive but don't really understand whats going on! I don't think anyone can really understand how scary anxiety and panic can be until they've been through it themselves! I hope your CBT is going well! I've decided to pay to go privately as the nhs waiting list is so long! right now i'd give my right leg just to see someone and try to make sense of some of this! Let me know how you get on! it would be really great to compare! I hope today has been a good day for you! It's so hit and miss i find! One good day then... not so good! I did ok today! even managed a small shopping trip to my local town on my own this afternoon! all well until had dizzy spell in dorothy perkins!!! carried on for a bit but called it a day when felt myself getting hot and anxious!! oh well! It's a step in the right direction! Take care and hope to speak to you soon!
Mel:D xx

[dizzy daisy]

Hi

Im like you. I also had anxiety at uni- I ended up having to repeat a year and foud attending lectures hard work- sometimes I just couldnt go so had to self study. I did get my degree though.

I am 33 now and like you have managed to cope with full time employment- also in a mental health facility. My main thing is dizzy spells too- its so hard to work when you feeldizzy-sometimes I think I will faint!

My colleagues dont understand considering they are all mental health nurses. ITS AWFUL.

Dizzy Daisy