looking4answers
27-08-09, 03:00
About three years ago . I had terrible terrible health anxiety. Somehow I pulled myself up and got out of it for about three years . In the last month my sinuses have been horrible. Three years ago I had started hearing my heartbeat constantly.
Over that time I suppose I got used to it. I tried to stay as busy as I could.
This year the pollen slowed me down and allergies went wild. I started hearing my pulse again very loudly . I can actually hear the pulse. Sometimes it makes weird noises like its trying to keep up and just doesn't sound right.
Over the last few years I have been really physical and my pulse has raced so many times but always went back down. Over the last month I have gotten a heart fixation. I can't stop taking my pulse or thinking about it.
I haven't been near as bad as I was three years ago but bad enough.
I worry about it when I get up , I hear it and hear it skipping and wonder if I have developed heart disease within the last three years.
I try to keep everything under wraps and not to be to noticable but I have gotten where I can't even concentrate on watching television to much.
Im always thinking about what my heart is doing. This morning I woke and checked my pulse before I got out of bed. My wife noticed and said "OH GOD' This hurt my feelings and made me feel bad but I didn't say anything.
Later in the day I got online to read what was going on here at NMP and just read the news and etc. She just all of a sudden asked "What are we going to do?" I was shocked. She was upset because I ask her about my heart sometimes and I read things online to help me feel better.
We are retired so its not like we have that much to do. However I do read post on here and read post from the past and also get on the medical boards and asked the cardiologist things there.
Later in the day I was laying on the bed on the computer and she mentioned it and I just started crying. I haven't cried in many years,
I couldn't stop. I felt I was so alone in my life and just wanted to run somewhere and hide but we are in the middle of nowhere and I don't really know anyone here to talk to.
I felt so sad and the crying made me feel so tired that im exhausted now.
She aplogized and I just didn't accept it. I just feel where was she when I needed her to be supportive of me.
The doctors have told me my heart is strong yet I hear it beating in my head much of the time and it scares me. Im trying really hard to get away from this fear but know that no doctor can give you a guarantee.
Im still stuck here on this keyboard as I will be much of the night until I pass out from being so tired only to start my day that way again.
Wondering what could I have done to get this worry back in my head. Up until about a month ago I worked really hard and had a fast pulse and never thought much about it. But now im back in the pathetic mode and scared because I thought at least my wife would give me a little support. Now I know that Im truly on my own as far as my worries.
Not only do I have to worry about my health I have to worry about hers too . She gets dizzy spells and feels bad many times and I comfort her.
Anxiety is a lonely thing. It is so scarry to have it and have supportive people around you but its even more scarry to know that you are truly alone. I hope my post wasn't too long and wanted others to know I feel your pain. I really know what its like to be alone and scared.
Over that time I suppose I got used to it. I tried to stay as busy as I could.
This year the pollen slowed me down and allergies went wild. I started hearing my pulse again very loudly . I can actually hear the pulse. Sometimes it makes weird noises like its trying to keep up and just doesn't sound right.
Over the last few years I have been really physical and my pulse has raced so many times but always went back down. Over the last month I have gotten a heart fixation. I can't stop taking my pulse or thinking about it.
I haven't been near as bad as I was three years ago but bad enough.
I worry about it when I get up , I hear it and hear it skipping and wonder if I have developed heart disease within the last three years.
I try to keep everything under wraps and not to be to noticable but I have gotten where I can't even concentrate on watching television to much.
Im always thinking about what my heart is doing. This morning I woke and checked my pulse before I got out of bed. My wife noticed and said "OH GOD' This hurt my feelings and made me feel bad but I didn't say anything.
Later in the day I got online to read what was going on here at NMP and just read the news and etc. She just all of a sudden asked "What are we going to do?" I was shocked. She was upset because I ask her about my heart sometimes and I read things online to help me feel better.
We are retired so its not like we have that much to do. However I do read post on here and read post from the past and also get on the medical boards and asked the cardiologist things there.
Later in the day I was laying on the bed on the computer and she mentioned it and I just started crying. I haven't cried in many years,
I couldn't stop. I felt I was so alone in my life and just wanted to run somewhere and hide but we are in the middle of nowhere and I don't really know anyone here to talk to.
I felt so sad and the crying made me feel so tired that im exhausted now.
She aplogized and I just didn't accept it. I just feel where was she when I needed her to be supportive of me.
The doctors have told me my heart is strong yet I hear it beating in my head much of the time and it scares me. Im trying really hard to get away from this fear but know that no doctor can give you a guarantee.
Im still stuck here on this keyboard as I will be much of the night until I pass out from being so tired only to start my day that way again.
Wondering what could I have done to get this worry back in my head. Up until about a month ago I worked really hard and had a fast pulse and never thought much about it. But now im back in the pathetic mode and scared because I thought at least my wife would give me a little support. Now I know that Im truly on my own as far as my worries.
Not only do I have to worry about my health I have to worry about hers too . She gets dizzy spells and feels bad many times and I comfort her.
Anxiety is a lonely thing. It is so scarry to have it and have supportive people around you but its even more scarry to know that you are truly alone. I hope my post wasn't too long and wanted others to know I feel your pain. I really know what its like to be alone and scared.