leegifford
27-08-09, 10:25
Hi I am Lee,
I have recently become a sufferer of panic attacks, i have never experienced anything like it in my life but knew of others that had. When they told me they felt very isolated and it was difficult to understand what they felt like because it wasnt them, i truly didnt understand them.
I wrote a poem about my day i would like to share,
Panic Attack!
I arrive at work as normal, just an ordinary day
Sit to my desk and work, not bothered come what may
I feel a little strange, but nothing out of the blue
I continue working at the desk waiting for my cue
I get it at last, as the manager calls a meeting
I enter into the room arranging all the seating
I sit for a moment, as pain comes to my arm
I ask to leave to get some water, I think, ‘this won’t cause me any harm’
I return and so does the pain I leave again this time for the loo
I realise the pains still there, ‘Mmm this is something new’
I find a friend who sits me in a chair
The pain gets more intense, I don’t think this is fair
The pain rides across my chest like cattle on the run
I don’t like this pain at all, this isn’t much fun
I can’t breathe now someone has taken all my air
I gasp and gulp rolling my head, sat here in my chair
My friend turns white I look up and see a crowd
I choke for eternity it seems, I must be very loud
I shriek with pain, as I hold my arms to my chest
I sweat and cry not knowing what’s for the best
I lean forward hoping here I will find my air
I look up as the crowd begins to stair
In the distance I hear ‘you’ll be alright’
It echo’s around my head, then I suck with all my might
I see a green angel he says, ‘Come with me’
I can’t move I am petrified as I look at what I see
‘Am I dying?’ I thought is this what happens in the end
‘You’re having a panic attack’, I hear from my friend
Is that suppose to make me feel better
Is that the remedy I have got?
No warning, no memo or letter
I experience the pain of been shot
Laying on the stretcher I look up now to the sky
I think what will happen to the kids
But, more so WHY?
You thought the journey was over when they at last let me out
That was just the beginning, it had more to shout
My heart keepings pounding I hear every beat
I am scared of nothing all the time, I hide beneath my sheet
I am told it will pass those palpitations
I think someone should do a re-think of there calculations
In a profession when you would think they would
How long something will stay or go
If you are like me now and you have to fight on each week
I stand united with you maybe are united voice should speak
We don’t why it did not happen nor you will ever be the same
We manage on by day to week to year hoping it won’t happen again
Scarred by the terror but humbled by its sign
That told us to stop! Smell the roses sometime
This is basically what happened to me, i am now seeing a CBT therapist first meeting just gone, and my whole life has changed.
It has been just short of 6 months now since my panic attack, i have seen my CBT person regular and listened to advice. What i have learned is that it is only me that can change not people, places, drugs or others attitudes.
i am not fully through this and have accepted that i never will be either, however i think the term some people use is 'Manage'.
I cant predict the future i cant say i will never have another attack, i can just share with those who wish to hear it. You will get better!!
I have recently become a sufferer of panic attacks, i have never experienced anything like it in my life but knew of others that had. When they told me they felt very isolated and it was difficult to understand what they felt like because it wasnt them, i truly didnt understand them.
I wrote a poem about my day i would like to share,
Panic Attack!
I arrive at work as normal, just an ordinary day
Sit to my desk and work, not bothered come what may
I feel a little strange, but nothing out of the blue
I continue working at the desk waiting for my cue
I get it at last, as the manager calls a meeting
I enter into the room arranging all the seating
I sit for a moment, as pain comes to my arm
I ask to leave to get some water, I think, ‘this won’t cause me any harm’
I return and so does the pain I leave again this time for the loo
I realise the pains still there, ‘Mmm this is something new’
I find a friend who sits me in a chair
The pain gets more intense, I don’t think this is fair
The pain rides across my chest like cattle on the run
I don’t like this pain at all, this isn’t much fun
I can’t breathe now someone has taken all my air
I gasp and gulp rolling my head, sat here in my chair
My friend turns white I look up and see a crowd
I choke for eternity it seems, I must be very loud
I shriek with pain, as I hold my arms to my chest
I sweat and cry not knowing what’s for the best
I lean forward hoping here I will find my air
I look up as the crowd begins to stair
In the distance I hear ‘you’ll be alright’
It echo’s around my head, then I suck with all my might
I see a green angel he says, ‘Come with me’
I can’t move I am petrified as I look at what I see
‘Am I dying?’ I thought is this what happens in the end
‘You’re having a panic attack’, I hear from my friend
Is that suppose to make me feel better
Is that the remedy I have got?
No warning, no memo or letter
I experience the pain of been shot
Laying on the stretcher I look up now to the sky
I think what will happen to the kids
But, more so WHY?
You thought the journey was over when they at last let me out
That was just the beginning, it had more to shout
My heart keepings pounding I hear every beat
I am scared of nothing all the time, I hide beneath my sheet
I am told it will pass those palpitations
I think someone should do a re-think of there calculations
In a profession when you would think they would
How long something will stay or go
If you are like me now and you have to fight on each week
I stand united with you maybe are united voice should speak
We don’t why it did not happen nor you will ever be the same
We manage on by day to week to year hoping it won’t happen again
Scarred by the terror but humbled by its sign
That told us to stop! Smell the roses sometime
This is basically what happened to me, i am now seeing a CBT therapist first meeting just gone, and my whole life has changed.
It has been just short of 6 months now since my panic attack, i have seen my CBT person regular and listened to advice. What i have learned is that it is only me that can change not people, places, drugs or others attitudes.
i am not fully through this and have accepted that i never will be either, however i think the term some people use is 'Manage'.
I cant predict the future i cant say i will never have another attack, i can just share with those who wish to hear it. You will get better!!