honeybun
27-08-09, 19:35
Hi all
I feel like ive reached the end of my tether and I need a place to rant!
im 27, a legal secretary/paralegal and since i started out on a career in the law i have hated it. increasingly i have been feeling like a failure, like everyone else is smarter than me and generally like ive been wasting my career and life so far. also ive never been good at relating to people, ive always been shy, never had many friends and probably come across as aloof and maybe even rude.
about a year ago i started suffering from panic attacks and anxiety, my main symptom being shaking. eventually i developed a tremor which i was terrified of people noticing, so i started avoiding people more than usual, and my work suffered as a result.
I am now on propranolol which has helped a lot, but i seem to be doing everything wrong at work. I have been in trouble with my boss and some of my workmates are hardly talking to me. im not doing it on purpose, i just cant seem to make the right decisions or concentrate properly on anything.
I just mentioned in passing to my boss that i have had therapy for anxiety, but he didnt question me about it and i havnt told anyone else at work. I think if people knew, the general opinion would be 'pull yourself together' so i have kept it to myself. but im now thinking of telling HR just so it is on the record in case they think about sacking me. I am looking for a new job but i am pretty rubbish in interviews so im not expecting to get something quickly.
my personal life isnt great either and i feel like there is nowhere i can go to get away from it all.
anyway, thats me! sorry its so long. reading through the posts helps and im glad i found this website.
I feel like ive reached the end of my tether and I need a place to rant!
im 27, a legal secretary/paralegal and since i started out on a career in the law i have hated it. increasingly i have been feeling like a failure, like everyone else is smarter than me and generally like ive been wasting my career and life so far. also ive never been good at relating to people, ive always been shy, never had many friends and probably come across as aloof and maybe even rude.
about a year ago i started suffering from panic attacks and anxiety, my main symptom being shaking. eventually i developed a tremor which i was terrified of people noticing, so i started avoiding people more than usual, and my work suffered as a result.
I am now on propranolol which has helped a lot, but i seem to be doing everything wrong at work. I have been in trouble with my boss and some of my workmates are hardly talking to me. im not doing it on purpose, i just cant seem to make the right decisions or concentrate properly on anything.
I just mentioned in passing to my boss that i have had therapy for anxiety, but he didnt question me about it and i havnt told anyone else at work. I think if people knew, the general opinion would be 'pull yourself together' so i have kept it to myself. but im now thinking of telling HR just so it is on the record in case they think about sacking me. I am looking for a new job but i am pretty rubbish in interviews so im not expecting to get something quickly.
my personal life isnt great either and i feel like there is nowhere i can go to get away from it all.
anyway, thats me! sorry its so long. reading through the posts helps and im glad i found this website.