Is this really a panic attack?

[bks68]

I feel weak, all the time. I have a trembling inside my bones. I walk around and feel as if I will die in a instant, any given minute. A simple gas bubble slides up my esophagus and I think it is my aorta dissecting. The tingling in my limbs and weakness grows instantaneously. All the moisture drains from my mouth. My heart rate increases, something is wrong. My heart must be beating faster to compensate for all the blood I'm losing inside. I feel that i'm now in the throes of my death. I have to get up/get out into a public area so when I go down there will be bystanders to call for help. I can hardly walk I'm so weak, my legs feel like jello and my abdomen is cramping, my mouth is so dry, my heart is now racing and fluttering, I feel light headed and disoriented, people are staring at me and asking why I looks so pale white, my mind starts to race, do I call 911 or call for someone to give me a ride to the ER..I'm tingling and weak all over.

This is happening to me over and over. I just got home from the ER. The ER in which I work. It's humiliating for me.

Background on me, I was diagnosed with dysautonomia years ago without complication. Last year I began abusing Adderall, and for a very brief few weeks cocaine. I didn't like it so I kept popping the amphetamine pills. I felt like I was burning out all my stores of Dopamine. I quit that March 23rd. The withdrawls were miserable, I was irritable, like a hand gernade. That has given way over time. Now I just feel impending death all the time. I wake and live witha heightened state of panic, hyperobservance of every cramp or ache that throws me into a full blown panic attack that I'm immediately dying.

One thing I know triggers me more than anything is being sleep deprived, which I always am considering I'm a full-time paramedic and full time university physics major.

Two trips to the ER and several more to clinics. I was given Wellbutrin for anxiety. I took it this morning after a rough night and went to my first day of classes. It struck about 40 minutes in, and I bolted out, called my mother, and literally felt like I was physically dying.

It was the most intense, horrifying experience of my life. And though I've been in a pseudo-panic attack for weeks on end with days of abatement and days of exacerbation, those times in which it "spikes" are so physically draining to me. I feel zapped afterwards.

Today the ER gave me Ativan. It seemed to help relax me, made me feel like I didn't care anymore. It was a nice break. It has worn off now, and I'm getting the tingling back in my legs. I'm waiting on my Klonopins to get here.

Are panic attacks really this bad? To feel as if you have to relive a staged version of your own painful, terrifying death over and over and over again? At the most random times, driving an ambulance, speaking to a coworker, enjoying a meal. Does anybody out there have a story that relates to mine?
I feel as if I can't go to work, go to school. I feel totally disabled, out of fear that it might happen again or fear that I might really die.

-Jason, TX

[looking4answers]

I can almost guarantee 100 percent panic attack. I get them several times a day . I just had one about an hour ago the sun was going down the weather is changing. I could feel it making me feel out of breath therefore making me weak and then my heart raced and I got really weak,

You feel something is wrong but you can't figure it out. I have been having a fairly good day today trying desperatly not to think about my health.

One minute im handling it ok and the next I feel like you talked about.
Now as far as the drugs you indulged in , I can't say whether they contributed to your feelings but im pretty sure the thing you had was just a panic attack.

Im having to learn how to deal with all over again after about three years.
It depresses me so much and I feel so sad dealing with something that I thought was long gone. Hope you feel better.

[bks68]

Thanks for replying. The ER doctor seemed to think it was a panic attack as well. It so embarassing to be like that in front of my colleagues but its so hard to control. Even when I recognize it and try to calm my self, put a cold rag on my neck, breathing exercises, it just continues to grow in intensity and spread through out my body like a wildfire until I run away and call someone for help because I'm convinced my body is dying for the third time that day. I have Klonopins now, which I will start taking today, I'll take them twice today. Also, I put in a call to my general physician to please call me in some Lexapro or something, anything other than the Wellbutrin. I just can't believe this is happening to me. It's really embarassing for a man, especially one in the medical field who deals with people who have these on a daily basis. It really has given me a new perspective on those who suffer with them. I had no idea.

[Blot]

Hey BK. sounds like panic to me. I too am in the medical field and I have a fear of cardiac/circulatory conditions so when I have a panic attack I am terrifed that I am having a myocardial infarction, a pul embolus,arrythmias etc. I have wondered whether being faced with these conditions, diseases in my everyday work life has triggered this fear. my symptoms are similar to yours - tachycardia,palps,ectopics,dizziness,pale face, jittery wobbly legs & shaking hands - sometimes the lot or a few of them. I am continually aware of my body, every twinge,pain - worrying whether it is related to my heart or circulatory system.You will have bad days but you too will have good ones!xxxxx

[mapmaker]

Have you thought of taking vitamins like Vitamin B complex to help your nerves or fish oil (recommended by my therapist). Selenium 200mg has helped my nerves alot too.....combined with vitamin E two times a day.... and I've been listening to soothing New Age music all day long everyday for the last 3 to 4 weeks. I feel a bit different than I did 2 months ago. I'd really go see your doctor and ask to be examined to make sure your alright physically. Its also been suggested I meditate 3 times a day to help destress to keep my anxiety level down. You might want to consider that too.

I hope this advice offers you some help.

Oh one last idea.. Look into Inositol. Psychopoet swears it has been helping him feel much better too.

[meena]

hi all.
when i get a panic attack,my legs go weak ,my head feels light headed,and my heart gets faster,and my whole body feels weak,since these attacks,iv lost my appetite,and i feel as if i am going to die.

[Veronica H]

Hi Jason

Panic attacks are so powerful at times that it is hard to believe that there is not a deeper cause, and that they cannot harm us. Fear is what feeds them and gives them fuel for the next attack.There is a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes called 'self help for your nerves', published by Thorsons. This is available from the NMP Shop. Her work can also be downloaded free to your MP3 from the shop. I can't recommend this enough, as it really explains what is happening to us, and how we can recover. This will get better.

Veronica

[pedropanic]

Hey Jason,

My first panic attack was so severe I did, as you did, thought only some sever medical emergency could cause it and rushed to hospital. My ocular muscles spasmed and I couldn't see. I lost feeling and movement in both hands. My heart rate (resting) was 189bpm and suddenly it went out of rhythm and the ER doctor freaked out which made it worse! My abdominal muscles were spasming so hard you could see them move and I was in agony. After nothing more than a sedative everything went away, and my cardiac rhythm went back to normal. So to answer your question: Yes, they can be that bad!

You sound like me. Working hard, uni full time (I'm a Psych major). A few recreational drugs in the past. Panic comes to visit the best of us. Never feel ashamed. Your symptoms and reactions aren't just normal, they're common amongst anxiety sufferers and there is no shame panic. You face terrifying thoughts and sensations everyday yet you carry on. You're a warrior, not wimp.

As a medic I assume you know all about the parasympathetic reactions you're having to your panic. They're scary, not very important. I'm sure you know what your cardiovascular system can handle, and if you've ever seen cardiac muscle it's built to LAST. The weakness and 'jello-legs' is nothing more that adrenaline preparing your limbs for running. The tingling and numbness in your extremities is simply your cardio system diverting blood to your critical organs to escape what ever it is you're afraid of. The dry mouth is of course that parasympathetic system shutting down some of your less-essential functions. Like I said they're scary, but not important, and YOU WILL NOT DIE.

Like Veronica above has suggested, I recommend "Complete Self Help For Your Nerves" by Dr Claire Weekes. It takes you through all the symptoms and as a medical person you will appreciate her approach as a physician. It also teaches you to FACE, ACCEPT, FLOAT, and LET TIME PASS. In a nutshell if you can face the symptoms and see them as coming from your tired mind and nervous system and NOTHING more; if you can accept them without fighting them, just accept they are here TEMPORARILY; if you can relax float past them or let them come and go while still carrying on; and if you can be patient and let enough time to pass for your tired mind and body to get the message that there's nothing to worry about.....then you will be well on the way to recovery.

Sometimes we get so stressed our body needs to get our attention. You work a very stressful job, you study a difficult area of science, plus you're a person with hopes, dreams and fears like the rest of us! Give yourself a break. Stand up for yourself and your right to a happy life. Let the horrible symptoms come and do their worst knowing the can't harm you and they won't stop you. YOU WILL NOT DIE. YOU CAN AND WILL BEAT THIS.

[Blot]

Hi pedropanic ,thank you for such an exellent response to Jason's post.You know EXACTLY how we all feel.You have just reminded me to get Claire Weekes book out to reread!!!

[tasia]

Claire weekes book was my saviour...try to read it its absolutely brilliant..
Panic attacks are so awful..I truly hope you find peace of mind soon god bless xx

[bks68]

Howdy,

Wow. Thanks for the support.

Does anyone feel as if this is less a psychological or more a neurological condition? I feel as if I have my mental faculities about me, but I start getting those signs and symptoms of too much sympathetic stimulation, similar to what I would get after swallowing a fistful of adderall (amphetamine). Dry mouth, vague stomach cramps. Slowly this "prodromal" period builds until I go full blown panic. I feel as if my body is raging against me, but my mind feels normal, other than being scared of what my body is doing. Strange, it is. I took a Klonopin the other day at the first sign of feeling "weird" and was able to abate most the attack before I blew my top.

I also find myself drifting to sleep, and startling awake, feeling as if my heart just stopped. Other times I wake up in the middle of the night with my heart skipping every third or fourth beat. So annoying.

Also, I just ordered the book. Thanks for recommending. :)