Flying Badger
29-08-09, 01:10
Hi Folks.
Well, I was supposed to be going on a little holiday on Friday morning. My parents own a static caravan in Scarborough, and I was due to go with my Mum, Brother and two Nieces for the weekend / bank holiday.
For the past few days, I had felt a bit uneasy about going. I felt as though I was under enormous preassure, even though I normally very much enjoy myself when I go there. If I'm honest with myself, I think I was anxious about having to look after Mum. She had a stroke earlier this year, and although she requires very little physical help, her memory isn't brilliant, and she is very emotional, which, at present, I find almost impossible to cope with.
I grew more anxious on Thursday evening, and got almost no sleep. When my alarm sounded, I woke to find myself covered in sweat, with a crushing sensation right in the middle of my chest. From that point on, I became convinced that I wouldn't survive the 2hr30 car journey. I knew this was most likley the onset of a panic attack, but I couldn't deal with that thought.
When I got downstairs, and my parents asked if I was OK, I found myself unable to speak - a problem that is becoming increasingly common for me. My left cheek was tingling, and felt very strange.
After almost an hour, I finally managed to speak enough to tell Mum that I couldn't face going to Scarborough, which, unfortunatley, she took as a personal attack on her (understandable, given her own problems) but it made me feel very preassured again.
I spent most of Friday in bed. Not quite asleap, but not really awake either. I found myself ignoring the phone too.
It's been quite a while since I have turned down a trip away because of how I felt. It's not unusual for me not to be able to go shopping, but even as a teenager, I've never been great with lots of hustle and bustle.
Sorry for yet another lengthy post - as you may be noticing, I do tend to go on somewhat, but I felt the need to get this off my chest.
I am feeling a tad better now, and Dad is still here (he couldn't get time off work to join Mum in Scarborough), and I have made an appointment with my GP next week.
Getting through this sticky patch is certainly taking some effort!
Cheers
Gary
Well, I was supposed to be going on a little holiday on Friday morning. My parents own a static caravan in Scarborough, and I was due to go with my Mum, Brother and two Nieces for the weekend / bank holiday.
For the past few days, I had felt a bit uneasy about going. I felt as though I was under enormous preassure, even though I normally very much enjoy myself when I go there. If I'm honest with myself, I think I was anxious about having to look after Mum. She had a stroke earlier this year, and although she requires very little physical help, her memory isn't brilliant, and she is very emotional, which, at present, I find almost impossible to cope with.
I grew more anxious on Thursday evening, and got almost no sleep. When my alarm sounded, I woke to find myself covered in sweat, with a crushing sensation right in the middle of my chest. From that point on, I became convinced that I wouldn't survive the 2hr30 car journey. I knew this was most likley the onset of a panic attack, but I couldn't deal with that thought.
When I got downstairs, and my parents asked if I was OK, I found myself unable to speak - a problem that is becoming increasingly common for me. My left cheek was tingling, and felt very strange.
After almost an hour, I finally managed to speak enough to tell Mum that I couldn't face going to Scarborough, which, unfortunatley, she took as a personal attack on her (understandable, given her own problems) but it made me feel very preassured again.
I spent most of Friday in bed. Not quite asleap, but not really awake either. I found myself ignoring the phone too.
It's been quite a while since I have turned down a trip away because of how I felt. It's not unusual for me not to be able to go shopping, but even as a teenager, I've never been great with lots of hustle and bustle.
Sorry for yet another lengthy post - as you may be noticing, I do tend to go on somewhat, but I felt the need to get this off my chest.
I am feeling a tad better now, and Dad is still here (he couldn't get time off work to join Mum in Scarborough), and I have made an appointment with my GP next week.
Getting through this sticky patch is certainly taking some effort!
Cheers
Gary