breathe236
29-08-09, 05:24
I've been battling with anxiety all my life. I'm 21 and just graduated from college. My junior year of college I became extremely anxious, probably due to the fact I was partying a lot. The school psychiatrist put me on xanax...and I continued to party/take adderall to study...and take sleeping pills. By May of my junior year I wanted out of this lifestyle. I came home and my internist put me on Pristiq and started weening me off the xanax.
I made it through my senior year...and currently I am not on any medications. It's been a hell of a ride getting off everything. I just got off Pristiq 3 weeks ago....but now I am starting to hit the panic button.
Within these last 2 months I still try to socially drink with all my friends and boyfriend- nothing crazy...but all my friends still go out.
This last month I've been under so much stress trying to find a job...and worrying about my body. This last month I started feeling dizzy more often, bloate. I attributed this to the withdrawals, but now I've gone a month without taking my anti-dep.
To make matters worse a couple of days ago I ended up in the ER with what I thought was a kidney infection, they really found a 3.2 cm cyst of my right ovary. Now, like any hypochondriac, I'm convinced I'm dying and have ovarian cancer. I've lost weight, I'm bloated, I feel constant pressure. I feel consume physically and emotionally. I was on vacation with my boyfriend this last week and I couldn't even handle going 24 hours without having at least 5 panic attacks. He doesn't know how to react, and I think I'm freaking him out. I feel like I'm losing grip of reality. I'm horrified of dying. And I'm convinced my symptoms are REAL and not in my HEAD or a result of anxiety.
I don't want to go on meds again, because I know I can function without them...I did it for 20 years of my life. I have an ultra-sound for the cyst on Monday, and I am HORRIFIED.
Please give me some words of wisdom!!!!!
I made it through my senior year...and currently I am not on any medications. It's been a hell of a ride getting off everything. I just got off Pristiq 3 weeks ago....but now I am starting to hit the panic button.
Within these last 2 months I still try to socially drink with all my friends and boyfriend- nothing crazy...but all my friends still go out.
This last month I've been under so much stress trying to find a job...and worrying about my body. This last month I started feeling dizzy more often, bloate. I attributed this to the withdrawals, but now I've gone a month without taking my anti-dep.
To make matters worse a couple of days ago I ended up in the ER with what I thought was a kidney infection, they really found a 3.2 cm cyst of my right ovary. Now, like any hypochondriac, I'm convinced I'm dying and have ovarian cancer. I've lost weight, I'm bloated, I feel constant pressure. I feel consume physically and emotionally. I was on vacation with my boyfriend this last week and I couldn't even handle going 24 hours without having at least 5 panic attacks. He doesn't know how to react, and I think I'm freaking him out. I feel like I'm losing grip of reality. I'm horrified of dying. And I'm convinced my symptoms are REAL and not in my HEAD or a result of anxiety.
I don't want to go on meds again, because I know I can function without them...I did it for 20 years of my life. I have an ultra-sound for the cyst on Monday, and I am HORRIFIED.
Please give me some words of wisdom!!!!!