Anyone else feel lifes just slipping away?

[bubblestar]

I know im only nearly 23, but my anxiety (GAD) and panic attacks have been from when i was 14.
iv had patches where iv been ok but never 100% since it all started. this week ive been on a real downer as ive missed out on so much due to my 'condition' if u like.
I see all my friends ive grown up with getting into there longterm relationships, getting their 1st homes and having babies!
and im still here being left behind. its not jealousy because im happy for them all, its just a yourning to be the same, i feel like iv missed out on getting the career i wanted, going away with my friends on holidays and buying what i want, having the nice car because ive earned good money.
What i want even more than those things is a decent long term relationship, with some1 that can be there and help me.. never been a huge person for a big career, but to go out and earn something for myself.
im so desperate to find some1 and be happy,and i really want to have a baby.
im so fed up now. want it all to end so i can have a normal life.

i just dont no how to recover any quicker and make it happen, because as much as i try to just push it aside and be 'normal' ive grown up like this and i dont know how to be any other way. ive had CBT hypnosis, on meds, off meds, counselling, Reiki, spiritual healing, u name it ive tried it and im at the verge of giving up and resigning myself to the fact im always gonna be this way and never have what any other person takes for granted.
im scared il always be alone...

Anyone feel the same, or got any tips to just feel a bit happier?

xx

[jollywalrus]

Hi Bubblestar,

I know what you mean because I often look at other people and wonder if I will ever be in the same world as them. I suppose the only answer is to keep on trying. It's hard there's no doubt about it, but I just keep on going out there and if I really can't do it, then I know at least I have tried.

Things do and have got better for me and fingers crossed they will for you too.

Christine xx

[tracyp584]

Hey,

As hard as it is, you can overcome this. It may not happen overnight but with small steps and a positive attitude you can make slight progress, and then build on it.

Perhaps you should try reading a Claire Weekes book, I have found it sooo helpful.

tracy x x



Every time you avoid your fears they become stronger,every time you face your fears they become weaker.

[LisaS]

hi bubble,

I have been where you are and can honestly say it will get better...
you said you are almost 23 - this is no age at all!! I have just turned 30 and I have no children yet but know that I will one day and nearly all of my friends are married with kids. I met my husband when I was 27 and he's great, but it took a few kissing frogs to find him!
Dont try and rush thru anxiety and panic as this will make you worse - try to take the attitude of saying, ok I have these things but I can deal with them,that way you become in control and become stronger with it.

I also thought that I wanted marriage, children, house, car etc because everyone else did and that what you are 'supposed' to do.. but do what you want to do and follow your own path, whether it deviates from the norm or not.. I went travelling for 2 years, had a few big relationships and even though now i'm married, I am still my own person and independant. You too are a strong woman and will one day find your man, but dont rush it - it will come.

stay happy,
Lisa
xxx

"do not fear to hope...Each time we smell the autumn's dying scent, we know that primrose time will come again"

[Wannabeloved85]

Oh yeah. im 20 and it started at bout 14 and my life really is just slipping away.

[mum2four]

I'm 27 nearly 28 and been dealing with anxiety since I can remember but never knew what I was dealing with till a fue year's ago.

I know exactly what you mean when you say you dont how to be any other way is can be hard to know what is normal when normal for you what you've been living already. Try to focus on what you what out of live one thing at a time. Pick one thing a work on that if you focus on more than one thing you'll over whelm your self and feel like your not getting anywhere when you proberly are making small progress in every area. Make a plan of baby step to get you to where you want to be and then focus on the first step. When you get a point that seem imposible take a moment to think positive thought's and go over how far you've come. Try not focus on what other around you have that you dont just look at what you doing for your self.

The only real way to feel happier is to force your self to remember the good thing's. You brain will only pull memory's base on the same way your feeling but you can over ride the automatic thought's by intensionaly remebering good time and progress. If you have to plaster postive thing's threw out you house to remind you on a daily basis of the happy thing's then do that. Haveing my plan and the step to my plan and other thing's help me achive my plan really hellp me to get out of depression and keep my focus on why I was doing what i what doing. I use the same things for my kids and everyday my main focus is how can I make it easier to get achive what i want to achive.

I think focusing on where I was to where I am now has been the biggest help for me. I have alway's struggled with balencing friendship I had a bad happen of being to full on with friend's for many year's and still struggle with do i want friend's or dont I and if i do what sort of friendship do i really want cause I'm sick of feeling like I'm being used cause thay only want to talk to me when thay need something from me and as soon I ask to go out and just hang out there alway's busy. For now I'm happy with the way thing's are i can get on with having fun with my kids but i still would love to have one friend that like's me for who i am anxiety and all whi's not going call me crazy the moment thay see the real me when I'm having a anxiety issue or atack. I have learnt to judge my self by my own action and not compare my self to other. Normal is what you want it to be there a plenty of people out there with bad personality with friend's and I beleive there is friend's for everyone type of person if i'm meant to have the friendship I beleive I deserve than i will get it one day. I had it once and i can get it back.

Focus on what you want make a plan to get and then go after at your pace dont put your self down dont tell your self you will never get it dont tell your self you dont deserve it. You get what you go after you will get there you may have a fue more moutians to climb to get it than other but you will get there.

[bubblestar]

Thanks guys for all your advice and support, i know deep down i just need to take it slow and steady and it will all happen but then i get swallowed by the bigger picture and it just scares me that i might never have anything or anyone.

Going to try some st johns wort to see if it lifts me a bit, and get back up and keep going.

Thanks xx

[Karen]

Hi Bubblestar

I too identify with what you are saying. I've had depression and social phobia since the age of about 12 and now I'm in my thirties. I don't feel like I know any other way of being either and have wasted my life not being able to do any of the things that I might have done without these issues.

You are still young and it is entirely possible that you will achieve all those things you hope for. Each little step forward takes you closer to where you want to be. Recovery doesn't happen overnight.

Keep on going and you will get there.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[chucklehound]

I have been agoraphobia since I was 18 and Have suffered anxiety since I was at school.

I also feel that life is passing me by, but I think we all do really.

Hope that you start to pick up soon
Take Care

Chucklehound
xxxx

[pauline]

I'm 44 and have had panic and anxiety for 18 years it does seem as if life is just passing me by. I am alot better but still cannot go far from the house and i just feel i am living but have no quality off life. I suppose all we can do is hope that things will get better. I split up with my partner because off his gambling and also he just did not even try and understand about the anxiety and why i find it so difficult to go far from the house. I get so down about how i will find anyone. I mean i'm not going to find someone with the life i am living i do work but in a school thats all women.

The only thing that helps is to keep on telling ourselves just how far we have come and ok our lives might not be what we want but we can make things better if we keep on trying.

[Sue K with 5]

Hi Bubble

I too was 14 when my anxiety and phobias started, by the time I was 18 I was agoraphobic and over the last 23 years I have been up and down like a yo yo!

But I have five children, a home and a husband and I even built up a small business working from home, so dont ever ever give up! Just because its not happening now does not mean it wont ever happen ! yes there are days where I stare at 4 walls and look out at every other bugger walking their children to school and going shopping and doing the things I crave to do on a daily basis so life slips by me on a regular basis, especially when I watch my children growing and nurtuing and I cant share those things with them! But I am also determined that soon and I mean soon I am going to be able to do all the things I want to with them again!! dont let this thing put you down

Fight it and stay strong


Love sue with 5

xxxx

scknight

[ANXIETY26]

Hi Bubblestar,

I suffered form anxiety since I was 13. I was agoraphobic at the age of 16, and for two years missed out on what I would call a normal life. I was unable to attend comrehensive school and never went out socialising with friends. Seeing all of my mates going out and having a laugh while I was stuck at home was pretty agonising. I remained positive though and came out laughing. It was a very slow prosses but I managed to do it somehow. I got a job and even managed a two week holiday with my mates to Ibiza, something I never thought was possible. I now have a beautiful five year old daughter after a long term relationship. Unfortunately me and her mam are no longer together and I have had a slight relapse. I am not giving up hope though as I know that I can and will get better because I have managed it before. Keep working at it and you will get there and look back at it laughing. Good Luck!

[rabbit25]

Hi Bubblestar

Glad to know of someone who is thinking on the same wavelength as me.
I'm 29 and feel that life is passing me by. My sister has got everything. New job. Car. House and husband.
I live at home with my parents and will do so until I can afford to live else where.
Don't get on parents and no one takes me seriously.
I long for the day I can feel truly happy and have a boyfriend etc.
Lonliness is what I'm scared of cos I haven't got many friends and haven't got anyone i can spend alot of time with - friends.

[desperate]

Hi,

Think it's a common thing this. I guess if anything happens to you which 'stops' you a bit then you are bound to feel like this really.

I'm 21 and have only suffered for a couple of year but already feel like people are really getting into life round me and i'm a bit 'stuck'.

First Anxiety...then panic attacks...now GAD and depression...now working on a better future!