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jue69
14-10-05, 15:06
Hi

Im a newbie here, have visited the site for a while as a visitor, but today have been told by my wonderful GP that my anxiety needs sorting i've come to chat with you guys. So i will tell you a bit about myself.

I'm 36 years old and a mother to 2 wonderfuld boys aged 12 and 9, i have the best husband you can ask for who is my rock when it comes to these health issues. My problems started after both my parents died young, one from cancer the other from heart disease. Our gp at the time was terrible and mis-diagnosed both of them. I will just point out he is now retired and not practicing.
A visit to the GP's now is one of dread, fear, panic, high BP, which by the way is normal to quite low at home. I will only go to the gp if really necessary. This happened about 3 months ago, when i woke up with palpitations. These lasted on and off for about a week, i didn't take much notice of them and they went away, then again out of the blue they started again, this in my head began to stir up trouble, so i did the unforgivable i looked on the internet. Well now in my eyes i had full blown heart disease, i wasn't gonna last the day and i was truly panicking. That night i had what i think was my first real panic attack, i shook, i was cold, my heart pounded along with the missing beats palpitations, there was whooshing in my ears, stars in front of my eyes, boy i had it all. My hubby who is fab decided enough was enough off to the doctors. My GP is great, she said i was the second lady that week to come in with these symptoms and they are rarely anything to worry about, she listened to my chest and said it sounded even and strong, but she would recommend an ecg and some bloods, which tested cholestrol, lipids, thyroid and all sorts. I saw the nurse who was also amazing, she performed the ecg and took the bloods from what i can only describe as a mad woman, i was so nervous, how could this ecg be ok with me panicking so much.
I got the dreaded phone call from the docs last week to say all is absolutely excellent, my heart is as fit as a fiddle, but i am showing signs of very mild anaemia. This was music to my ears, but yes i have health anxiety, so not for long. Onto the good old internet to search anaemia, which was good reading to start with, it can cause palpitations, so thats good, but then i read further and now in my black or white world (that means there is no grey area to me, you either have something life threatening or you have no symptoms at all) i have now got, stomach cancer, bowel cancer and all sorts of major illnesses. Again more panic attacks, not being able to cope. So off again to the doccies today, who was great, my bowel cancer symptoms are a case (and i apologize now for the toilet talk) of common piles. My anaemia is so mild its nearly non existent and i have got myself into an early grave for nothing AGAIN.
The reason i've joined here is, she has now recommended that if i cannot help my health anxiety she will refer me to a psychiatrist. My question is how do i help myself, my fears are real, at the time its all i can focus on, after i feel silly. My sister has been through the same things in life as me, sometimes worse, but she never thinks the way i do.
Help me guys, i wanna be normal.

Meg
14-10-05, 15:19
You were normal and it has been post several real concerns that you started to question everything.

You already know that Googling will never reassure you as yopu will not stop until you find bad news:

*Onto the good old internet to search anaemia, which was good reading to start with, it can cause palpitations, so thats good, but then i read further and now in my black or white world *

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/healthanxiety.htm

First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

jill
14-10-05, 21:54
Hi Jue69

Just want to say welcome to the site,
there are lots of nice people her who will help and
support you.


TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXXX


When you fear something,
learn as much about it as you can.
Knowledge conquers fear.

Mable
16-10-05, 23:53
Hello there!:D

We have a lot in common: I am new to this website, I too am a mother of 2 children aged 8 and 11, and I also suffer from health anxiety quite badly, but have only recently recognized it as such after seeing a psychologist for 6 months. This really helped, but I have now stopped seeing her as her contract with the NHS unfortunately ran out.[V]

She gave me lots of tips to help myself, such as when you get a negative thought (e.g. I am going to die), imagine the thought as a big black octapus which you get wrench out of yourself, then stamp really hard on it and kick it away. In other words, recognise the thought for what it is, don't let it develop in your head (I tend to play a long film in my head which usually ends up with my funeral or worse, I can't even write it down), use the power of your imagination to stop the thought. You need to retrain your brain, which can be done but may take many months of perseverence. The incentive is, 'I want to enjoy my life, and not worry myself to death'.

I think therapy would be good if you can get the right person. Understanding where your thoughts originate from may help. I think both your parents dying at a young age will obviously have deeply affected you, and most certainly is at the centre of your fears.

You are very lucky to have such an understanding and supportive GP and practice nurse. They can make all the difference when you feel silly you are making too much fuss. This will make it easier for you to go to the doc's when you have a symptom without being made to feel like you are wasting their time.

I used to look my symptoms and my children's symptoms up on the internet too, but generally this is a huge mistake. We are not qualified doctors and cannot self-diagnose. Instead I now look up 'health anxiety' and OCD, which is really what I suffer from. Looking at worst case scenarios only feeds your panic making it sooo much worse.

The real problem for me is how to tell a symptom that should be investigated, and one that is not worth bothering about. You are worried specifically about heart disease due to your parent dying from this. Consequently, you are concentrating on your heart and are aware of every little change, creak, twinge etc that most other people would not notice. I smoked from age 12 for 20 odd years on and off, and only gave up finally 2 years ago. Hence I am petrified of getting lung cancer. I have had a tickly cough for a few weeks, and am going to the doc's about it tomorrow. But my husband says he never hears me cough, and I don't cough in the night. It is not bad enough for benolin. Nonetheless, I am certain I have cancer and only a visit to my doctor, maybe even an x-ray, will assure me I'm OK.

If I am lucky and my cough turns out to be nothing, next week I will be focused on breast cancer or a brain tumour! What you should try to do is evaluate the real likelihood you having the disease that you are dreading. Actually having serious disease at a young age is very rare.

However, my advice would be if you have a symptom you are worried about, get it checked out by the doc. Just try to learn to recognise those symptoms that are symptoms of worry rather than disease.

its not easy....

I obtained some helpful booklets from OCTC (Oxford cognitive therapy Centre) recommended by my phsychologist, and can be ordered on the following website:
www.octc.co.uk
or
Booklets Secretary
Psychology Dept
Warneford Hospital
OXFORD OX3 7JX
tel: 01865 223986
email octc@oxmhc-tr.nhs.uk

I have 'Understanding Health Anxiety', 'Managing OCD', 'Controlling Anxiety', all for £2.50 each, all are very good and easy to read.

I hope this helps,

Mable

april tones
17-10-05, 13:06
hi i have had this too! i have a 2 year old lovely son. im having it at moment with this bird flu, petrified of a pandemenic! worrying constantly! its not normal but we can t help it xxx

apriltones

stevie
20-10-05, 01:09
Mable, that was an EXCELLENT post, thanks for your help. Right now, health anxiety is controlling my life, and I desperately want to change, and I think that joining this forum is a good first step.

I think one of the biggest factors contributing to my condition is the fact that I, as many others on this forum, have a young child, and with that come so many emotions:

1. You want to see him grow up, make friends, do well at school, get married, be happy & successful etc.
2. You need to be there for him, you can't die and leave him fatherless/motherless

which leads to:

3. How will they cope financially without me (don't ask about life insurance, please!)
4. If I die, will my wife re-marry and will my son grow up calling another man "Dad"?

etc,etc!

Anyway, I do recognise that I have a condition, i.e. health anxiety. I mean, it's not normal, is it, to cough every 5 minutes, go off to the loo and spit it out to check for signs of blood?!

So, onwards and upwards for me. I'm going to be on this forum a lot in the coming weeks to see if it can help me out of this black hole, and once that's achieved, I hope to help others do the same.

The great thing about this forum is that, before you come here, you think you're all alone and weird, but once you've read some postings, it's clear we're all in this together, and with each other's help, we can all get out of it!!

boy
22-10-05, 21:30
Ah the ****** internet. I'm guilty of searching on there too. I know exactly what you mean about short releif, only to descend into turmoil again. It's nasty isn't it?

boy
22-10-05, 21:31
Ah the ****** internet. I'm guilty of searching on there too. I know exactly what you mean about short releif, only to descend into turmoil again. It's nasty isn't it?

boy
22-10-05, 21:32
Ah the ****** internet. I'm guilty of searching on there too. I know exactly what you mean about short releif, only to descend into turmoil again. It's nasty isn't it?

RedMozzy
23-10-05, 01:31
Hi there,

I'm another one with the health anxiety. I have a baby on the way and I think thats what started this for me. suddenly I have cancer and I'm going to die even though the doctor has checked me over and says I'm fine. I'm on prozac now and it's starting to help. The forums on here are great, so it the live chat room, very friendly indeed.

All the best

Alan