frances1
31-08-09, 20:19
got to the stage now where i just dont know where to go any more. i thought i had this thing beat but it seems as it has come back to haunt me again. i suffered badly for a number of years, no work, no life as such. my body and mind screamed, but a grown man doesnt cry, or so i thought. i dont know how i did it but i got myself back into work and things got steadily better. now i have started having panic attacks again. its killing me, i had almost forgotten the hurt, the misery, the feeling of utter helplessnes. i just dont know if i can do it all again.i have been off work now for 4 weeks. no one knows the reason yet. i even used up my holidays to cover myself but if i have to have more time off my job will probably go as well. just when i had got my wife looking happy again it looks like i am about to kick her in the teeth again. why is it giving me such a hard time now. i am seriously beginning to hate my life. cant seem to do anything right. even when people i love depend on me.