Poopsigroo
02-09-09, 14:08
Hello,
I haven't been here for a while been waiting for meds to kick in.
I may have discussed before that i am trying to get over vaginismus, i am seeing a counsellor and doing all the excersises you are supposed to do, anyway last night i had an appointment with the counsellor and we got to talking about my experiences with exams and the ops i had last year.
She went a got a speculum and i'm not kidding she might as well have been holding a tarantula, i was crying and retching and shaking, my mouth dried up. She asked if i could hold it and i said no way. This phobia caused by bad previous experience seems to be the cause to my vaginismsus, so the task now is to try and dissassociate. She said she's going to show me the speculum everytime we have a session, my next one is not until 3 weeks time. She says the key to beating a phobia is to expose yourself, so as much as it pains me to think it, shold i be doing something in the meantime (looking at pictures of semething?) Just thinking about it makes me queasy.
I feel insane, she laughed a bit and said there no reason to fear them, but i couldn't take my eyes of it, like it was going to sprout legs and jump at me!
Please tell me i'm not being ridiculous, i really need to confront this thing, it's ruining my life.
x
I haven't been here for a while been waiting for meds to kick in.
I may have discussed before that i am trying to get over vaginismus, i am seeing a counsellor and doing all the excersises you are supposed to do, anyway last night i had an appointment with the counsellor and we got to talking about my experiences with exams and the ops i had last year.
She went a got a speculum and i'm not kidding she might as well have been holding a tarantula, i was crying and retching and shaking, my mouth dried up. She asked if i could hold it and i said no way. This phobia caused by bad previous experience seems to be the cause to my vaginismsus, so the task now is to try and dissassociate. She said she's going to show me the speculum everytime we have a session, my next one is not until 3 weeks time. She says the key to beating a phobia is to expose yourself, so as much as it pains me to think it, shold i be doing something in the meantime (looking at pictures of semething?) Just thinking about it makes me queasy.
I feel insane, she laughed a bit and said there no reason to fear them, but i couldn't take my eyes of it, like it was going to sprout legs and jump at me!
Please tell me i'm not being ridiculous, i really need to confront this thing, it's ruining my life.
x