I can't do it!!!

[chucklehound]

Hi again everyone.

Kev(hubby) left the house last night after an arguement and has not yet returned.
I have therefore got to take Jonathan to school tomorrow morning.
As you probably guessed, I am absolutely ****ting myself. I don't think that there is any way of me going through with it. I am so so nervous I feel light headed already.:(
At the moment there is still a chance that Kev will return home but I don't think that he will now.
How can I do this when I am in such a state???

[mazz]

ah chuckle iam sorry about the argument , maybe when he,s calmed down he will be back . how far is the school? could you maybe get a cab or ask a friend to take your son . i know how hard it is. been there myself ,but things have a way of working out luv mazzx

[tracyp584]

Hey,

Sorry about the arguement. Is there like Mazz said anyone that could take your son? Or someone that could pick you up on the way so that you weren't alone?

If not and there is no other option, How about dropping him off 5/10 mins late, then the school would of calmed down a bit?

Try not to focus to much on the school drop off, try and keep busy this afternoon (easier said than done i know!).

Thinkin of you,

Take care,

tracy x x



Every time you avoid your fears they become stronger,every time you face your fears they become weaker.

[chucklehound]

Thank you both for replying to my post!
There is a man down the road who is a friend of Kevs that I could ask to take Jonathan because he takes his daughter to school anyway.
The school is 10 minutes walk away which doesn't seem long at all, but to me it's like climbing a mountain.
I feel sick with worry and have had a panic attack.
I don't think I will get through the day with the way I am feeling right now.
I can't even stand up without feeling giddy and floaty.

[tracyp584]

Hey Chuckle,

I totally understand how you feel. My kids school is 5 mins away, but some days it feels like its another planet its soo hard to tackle.
Why don't you ring this guy now, so you can relax about the morning. That way you stand a better chance of having a half decent nights sleep.

Let us know how you get on,

tracy x x



Every time you avoid your fears they become stronger,every time you face your fears they become weaker.

[carlin]

Hi there,
sorry you are having a bad time right now, Hopefully hubby will return when he has had a chance to settle a little? I understand how you must be feeling, i would firstly, arrange today for your friend to take your son to school tomorrow, then at least that is one thing off of your mind. As for the dizziness etc. you know these are caused by feeling anxious, and you have every reason to feel anxious now. If i argue with hubby i always feel ten times worse and my symptoms intensify.Mind you sometimes he makes me so cross, i actually forget to panic cos another emotion has taken over. Sorry i'm not much help, just to let you know you are not alone take care xxxxxxxx

[desperate]

Hi chuckle,

hope things sort themselves out soon.

do u have anyone that could help at all?

First Anxiety...then panic attacks...now GAD and depression...now working on a better future!

[vernon]

Hiya chuck. Firstly so sorry to hear your hubby left home but I am sure he will be back. But strange as this might sound this could be good for you for now (I know it don’t seem so at the moment) But hubby leaving so you have to take your son to school could be a help for you. A way of making you go out as otherwise you wouldn’t have even thought about it. A similar thing happened to me, on wife going into hospital for our third child it was arranged for my mum to come and stay, look after the kids and my sister took me to and from hospital, even though my sister drove me there and back I was still so terrified of going out. Anyway My mom took ill with like flue and had to go home soon after she get here, wow I panicked so so bad and was left to look after kids and had to go to shops for food, milk etc. until now I hadn’t even been outside front door I was such a state, but kids have to be looked after and fed etc. I was so bad I used to panic just doing odd jobs had never been alone feeling like this and now was alone with 2 young kids. Had to feed them bath them and change nappies dress them and GO TO THE SHOPSOMG I was so scared but been put in this position I had to go no matter how I felt and what made it worst I had to take kids to shops with me. Shops where only about 7 min walk but I sweat shook like a leaf. And it was only the twin pushchair that held me up. But after this it made me realize I could do things if I really had to and slowly did get better. But it was that part being put on a spot where I had to do it that started to move me. I thought like you this is imposable but believe me you can do it even if it means booking a taxi or if your friend takes him try and go with them. Look at this not as fear but as a chance to make a start on your recovery as I found without that push I would never have done it. So sorry how you feel I really understand and it is like living through hell. Take care keep us updated on how you go, Vernon. PM me anytime you need a chat or even call me on MSN if u have it I will try to help anytime. My MSN is cov49@hotmail.com. Take care. Vernon

[trac67]

Chuck,
Oi you can ****** do this, so don't think that you can't, remember this is your chance to prove to you and to Kev that you don't need him, and that you can do it by yourself.
I am only at the other end of the phone if you need me remember, and unless you want a swift kick up the butt get out there in the morning hold onto the buggy tight, head held high and 'JFDI', and you know I don't mean flippin either lol.
GO FOR IT HUN YOU CAN AND WILL DO IT.

Love
Trac xx

'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwitten'

[chucklehound]

Hi everyone,
First of all can I thank you all so, so much for replying to my post, your support was greatly appreciated...:D[^]:D

Kev has just come back with no explanation whatsoever for his actions.

Thank you all again

Take Care

Chucklehound

xxxxx

[looby]

Hi Chuck,

Sorry for not reading your posts til now, blooming work!!!!
In a way I am glad he came back, but on the other hand I'm not so glad!!!
Shudda changed them damn locks sooner!!! ;)

But maybe he made you think about things if you did get out away from him. Maybe you CAN do it!!!

Have a think about it all.

Take care hun, and feel free to pm me anytime!

Love
Looby
xxxx

[nomorepanic]

Chuck

When we HAVE to do something we manage to do it trust me.

We had someone tells us her house was on fire - do you think she sat and said she wasn't leaving even though she was agoraphobic?

You can do it and you will.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[chucklehound]

Hi and thank you for your support.

Well, I hav erang Kevs dad and told him exactly what has been going on

and he also believes that Kev is doing drugs.

He came up to visit me yesterday and was telling me I should keep all

the money away from him, which is fair enough, but how am I supposed

to do that when Kev is the one who has to cash the money???

He had to go to town yesterday to get Christmas Presents and his dad

said that was wrong of me, to trust him to go and buy things.

I am struggling to come to terms with it all really. I just hope that things

start to pick up for me soon.

Take Care all

Chucklehound

xxx

[nomorepanic]

Chuckle - it is going to be hard to get the money off him I expect. Not sure what to suggest cos he may not take too kindly to be given "pocket money" to spend if he can't be trusted with large amounts.

Hope you can work something out.



Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[chucklehound]

Do you all think that I am being mean by keeping money from him???

I don't know what else I can do to keep him from taking money for

drugs.

I often think that he is an adult, even though at the moment he is not

acting like one, and I have no right to stop him from doing what he

wants when he wants!!! I feel sad on him that he wants drugs so much

and that I am stopping him!

Take care

Chucklehound

xxx

[hunny]

Hi Chucklehound
No,i dont think you are being mean.
You have to do what you thinks right in a very difficult situation.
Im sure that money could be used for food etc rather than drugs,so you are quite justified
Lots of luck
Hunny x

[in1peace]

Hi Chick!
I'm sorry you are going thru this!
You are a strong woman, because you are not enabling his sorry butt!! Keep up the good work!! I am PROUD OF YOU!!!!
I am thinking of you!!
((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
Andrea

"Honey, if ya ain't feelin' the bumps in the road, ya ain't goin' nowhere!" (A wise Georgia Granny's take on living life to the fullest! LOL!)

[chucklehound]

Hi Hunny,

Thank you for your reply! The money he is spending should actually be

for Christmas, and he shows no remorse whatsoever. He is just being

really selfish and thinking of himself...

I wish he would start to act more responsible.



Take Care

Chucklehound

xxxx

[looby]

Hiya hun,

sorry, been really busy so haven't been able to get online.

You are not, I repeat NOT being mean by giving him pocket money.

Unfortunately, as the saying goes, "You have to be cruel to be kind!"
have you and Kev's dad tried to sit him down and try and ask him about being on that sh**e again?

maybe it won't be as bad (i know it will be bad!) if both of you sit down with him and talk it over.

He can't go buying gear with money for christmas stuff and you will have to drum that into his thick head!

Good luck with it all, and feel free to pm me anytime.

take care
Love Looby
xxxx