mtatum4496
02-09-09, 22:35
Hi, everyone. It's been ages since I've posted, but wanted to share good news about what has been going on with me.
Some of you may remember that early last year, I finally found a doctor who was willing to do more than pat me on the head and send me away with a pill. After running lots of tests, my new physician got to the root of my panic attacks and put me on a regimen of Vitamin C, B-Complex, and a balance of calcium and magnesium. We also tried various antidepressants and found that Wellbutrin did me the most good. He did away with everything else I had been taking, other than changing my Xanax prescription by cutting it in half and changing it from daily to "as needed".
Since my last post, I've made progress back to a normal life almost every month. I can now go into restaurants where there is a lot of noise and do all right. Shopping is still not my favorite activity, but it does not produce the anxiety that it did before.
My Xanax usage is much lower this year than last. It still goes up and down depending on what is happening with me on any given day, but I find that taking a miniscule amount at a time has more effect than a larger dose did just a few months ago. I can see me eventually doing without it altogether.
Recently, I've been to a live concert, a movie, and to a live theater production with very little anxiety manifesting. I've not used my earplugs in several months now. I was at a sporting event last week and started to have a panic attack, but after a tiny amount of Xanax and a quick walk around the concourse I settled down, allowing me to enjoy the rest of the game.
The agoraphobia that had developed from the depression/panic/anxiety has also lost a lot of power. While it still rears its ugly head sometimes, and I still am not to the point I can manage a trip too far out of town, I know that the time is coming when I will once again move about freely.
In general, life has gotten a lot better and my boundaries have expanded a great deal from what they were a year ago.
If I've gotten nothing else out of all of this, I have gained a greater appreciation for my loved ones. From my little boy who lives 500 miles away from his mom and sends me virtual gifts through Facebook every few days to the friends I have nearby, I have never had more than a stray moment where I felt alone and worthless. People just won't allow me to do that.
I'm sure there are those who have just found NMP and think that they will never be free of the anxiety, depression, or phobias that make life a living hell for them. Believe me, I understand where you are coming from. Many times over the last two and a half years, I just about lost hope of ever getting better.
It does take time, and it doesn't happen at the same pace for everyone, but it does happen. Do not give up, and do not give in to despair. Your day will come.
Some of you may remember that early last year, I finally found a doctor who was willing to do more than pat me on the head and send me away with a pill. After running lots of tests, my new physician got to the root of my panic attacks and put me on a regimen of Vitamin C, B-Complex, and a balance of calcium and magnesium. We also tried various antidepressants and found that Wellbutrin did me the most good. He did away with everything else I had been taking, other than changing my Xanax prescription by cutting it in half and changing it from daily to "as needed".
Since my last post, I've made progress back to a normal life almost every month. I can now go into restaurants where there is a lot of noise and do all right. Shopping is still not my favorite activity, but it does not produce the anxiety that it did before.
My Xanax usage is much lower this year than last. It still goes up and down depending on what is happening with me on any given day, but I find that taking a miniscule amount at a time has more effect than a larger dose did just a few months ago. I can see me eventually doing without it altogether.
Recently, I've been to a live concert, a movie, and to a live theater production with very little anxiety manifesting. I've not used my earplugs in several months now. I was at a sporting event last week and started to have a panic attack, but after a tiny amount of Xanax and a quick walk around the concourse I settled down, allowing me to enjoy the rest of the game.
The agoraphobia that had developed from the depression/panic/anxiety has also lost a lot of power. While it still rears its ugly head sometimes, and I still am not to the point I can manage a trip too far out of town, I know that the time is coming when I will once again move about freely.
In general, life has gotten a lot better and my boundaries have expanded a great deal from what they were a year ago.
If I've gotten nothing else out of all of this, I have gained a greater appreciation for my loved ones. From my little boy who lives 500 miles away from his mom and sends me virtual gifts through Facebook every few days to the friends I have nearby, I have never had more than a stray moment where I felt alone and worthless. People just won't allow me to do that.
I'm sure there are those who have just found NMP and think that they will never be free of the anxiety, depression, or phobias that make life a living hell for them. Believe me, I understand where you are coming from. Many times over the last two and a half years, I just about lost hope of ever getting better.
It does take time, and it doesn't happen at the same pace for everyone, but it does happen. Do not give up, and do not give in to despair. Your day will come.