Trapped....

[Terry12345]

I feel so bad. My two children start uni next week. I am living in the country with an elderly mother (she has a granny flat) and a husband that basically doesn't care/love me. I feel so lonely at the thought of the silence when they go (my daughter is leaving to go for the first time). My husband goes to work, comes home and then goes outside again to really just walk around his land. I have had trouble with panic attacks/and hurt one of my knees ( so driving is hard at times) in the last couple of years and to be alone is so hard. I have been taking up to 4mg of my mother's diazapam for a while now to combat my feelings but it doesn't work and I don't want to take them anymore. I can't go to my doctor to get off them as he prescribed them for her and I'm taking them when necessary. My life is a mess and I'm so sad and scared. I am 51 and feel trapped. Anyone, feel the same?? or can advise me about anything? Thanks.

[JohnLuke300]

It seems to me you are feeling very isolated, I can empathize with that. I have social phobia and have experienced long spells of almost complete isolation. It made me very depressed and frustrated. I would not recommend trying to self medicate, I also believe that medication is a short term solution. Better I think to try and identify the issues that are causing the anxiety and address them. I think you might know what those issues are.
The important thing I feel is that you find some interests that keep you active. With your children leaving for college you'll need to replace the time you spent with them with an active pursuit. You need a distraction otherwise your anxiety will only increase and the panic attacks will become more common.
My illness is severe, but what helped me was understanding how negative emotions like anxiety and depression can make us think in negative extremes. I often feel the same as you do, but now I realize that my anxiety is responsible for that and things are rarely as bleak as they seem.
It is hard feeling alone and afraid, but there are many of us that feel the same and perfectly understand what you are saying.

You have my complete sympathy and I am sure most on this site will feel the same. :hugs:

[LisaLisa]

Terry

I hope you are feeling okay. Was reading your post and something really came through to me was that you are not thinking enough of yourself!! Correct if I am wrong.....

I think that popping to the Drs is a very good idea for you. If Diazepman is helping you the maybe dr can prescribe somwthing similar that is for you, to help you.

Its horrid to feel unloved and not valued and alone. And when you dont love yourself enough its even worse because it can feel like you depend on others to make you feel loved and worthwhile which is fine if its free flowing but when its not.....well i know that i feel very lost and alone.

I know from experience that medication can be very usefull in restoring some of your feel good hormones that allow you to remember what its like to feel loved by yourself...and then the rest just happens over time.

Hope you find some direction to act on these difficulties

Lisa
xxxx

[pammy1944]

please try to learn to love yourself,Terry ......does hubby know how you feel?

[barbn]

Great advice so far - I have to agree heading to the Dr's is a must! There is help out there - sometimes we have to find it as it is not always going to come and find you. Feeling lonely is terrible and I think we have all had our bouts with that. Feeling unloved is also a terrible feeling; it seems like an endless cycle! We all know there is a way to fight these feelings and there is a way out - its just a matter of finding it.

As for medication - I have had wonderful luck with medication - as mentioned above it isn't the only answer. I know that the medication will take the edge off, but it is up to me to do the rest. I have to find ways to make my mind no "think" about certain things and some days this is a struggle. Unfortunately it will be for the rest of my life. I am lucky as my husband knows that some days are bad and some days are really good. But, I communicate with him all the time about it - if your husband doesn't want to be involved - do you have any close friends or relatives that you can chat with?

[kazzie]

Hi Terry:hugs:

Its hard when kids leave home I know the feeling all too well sadly

I think you need to have a chat to hubby.....maybe he is feeling it too and dosent know how to cope:shrug:

I know when my youngest fled the nest last year(back home now) me and hubby were lost

Just got used to it and back he came lol

You can stay in touch with them via text email etc.....and please have a word with doc and get some pills to help you if you need to but I would have a heart to heart with hubby first

Best of luck and we are all here for you

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[tasia]

Although my children are still a few years away from leaving home I too wonder if im going to feel like you. I have a husband whom i feel really has no interest in me or our children and sometimes i feel so lonely my children are my company, but I do have a close friend whom I see alot. My husband is not a bad man he is a very hard worker, hes a great provider but thats all he has always been useless when it comes to me being unwell. he has a terrible relationship with our eldest son which breaks my heart and doesnt help my anxiety as i worry about my son constantly...My heart goes out to you you sound like you could do with a few good friends to chat to I truly hope you can find some peace and happiness in your life..xxx