Blowing things out of proportion - any advice on how to stop doing this?

[pd]

I had a massive panic attack this morning which happened after I tried to call somebody and couldn't get through to them. I started feeling really anxious and couldn't work out why, I didn't even really need to talk to this person that badly, and then I called again a few minutes later, the phone was still off, over the next hour I called about twenty times (thank god your phone doesn't tell you who's called when it's switched off), then I started thinking 'oh no something terrible has happened to them', and stuff just snowballed and snowballed until I'd basically convinced myself my friend was dead, then I started feeling like I was in danger too, then I had the worst panic attack I've had in months.

Does anyone have any advice on how to stop overthinking and making huge things out of tiny unimportant things? I completely blew this out of proportion, I should have thought 'oh I'll call them later' and then put it out of my mind, but I made a huge big thing out of it.

I feel like I'm going crazy.

By the way, I just called them again (without mentioning this morning of course) and their battery ran out at work. :doh::doh::doh::doh::doh:

I'm an idiot.

[JohnLuke300]

Hi,

There is a method that is used in CBT called a thought record. You write down on a piece of paper the negative thought, i.e. that you friend was dead. You write down the evidence that supports this, i.e. you friends phone was switched off. You then look for other possible solutions that are not as negative and write them down, i.e. they might have forgotten to turn their phone on, the battery might have run down, the phone might have fallen down the toilet (you never know!), etc.
The point of the thought record is it helps you to realize that there are many possible reasons why something as happened and the majority are quite harmless.

A negative emotion like anxiety or depression makes us thing in negative extremes, the thought record was designed to help us rationalize the process.

I hope you find it of use. :)

[JohnBliss]

In a situation like this I distract myself by thinking about something else or doing something to distract me from the concern. it takes practice but it does work. The last thing I think you should do is analyse the thoughts -this is just giving them the attention they want and feeding the concern-ignore them and they'll go away
Hope you find the solution for you
Regards
John

[pd]

Thank you for replying, I like the idea of a thought record, whether I'm too lazy to keep one or not remains to be seen.

Saying that, I've been doing some introspection and realised that this isn't the first time I've freaked out after not being able to get hold of someone on the phone, and I think I've even worked out why it upsets me so much.

I know analysing the thoughts doesn't help, but I over-analyse everything. Always have, probably always will.

Now to stop the freaking out happening again. :shrug::huh:

[JohnLuke300]

We anxiety sufferers all over analyze, its one of the reasons we are all so anxious. :wacko:

[pd]

Yeah, it gets quite ridiculous. You reach a point where you're sat on a bus thinking 'did the driver look at me funny when I asked for my ticket? What did I do that could have seemed odd? Did I say something odd? I just asked for a ticket etc etc etc.'.


I hate my mind sometimes.

[JohnLuke300]

I have social phobia and what you just said I have done over a thousand times before. So you're in good company.

P.S. I hate our minds to. :D

[pd]

Well at any rate it's good to know we're not the only ones who do that. :)

[cece]

Hi,

There is a method that is used in CBT called a thought record. You write down on a piece of paper the negative thought, i.e. that you friend was dead. You write down the evidence that supports this, i.e. you friends phone was switched off. You then look for other possible solutions that are not as negative and write them down, i.e. they might have forgotten to turn their phone on, the battery might have run down, the phone might have fallen down the toilet (you never know!), etc.
The point of the thought record is it helps you to realize that there are many possible reasons why something as happened and the majority are quite harmless.

A negative emotion like anxiety or depression makes us thing in negative extremes, the thought record was designed to help us rationalize the process.

I hope you find it of use. :)

This is excellent advice. CBT is what has given me my life back. It really works if you work at countering your thoughts. Join a CBT group if you can afford it or just read up on CBT and start trying to identify your thinking errors and counter them. The book by Sam Obitz is short and simple and I liked that the author struggled with anxiety for most of his life before finding help with CBT.
Good luck and know you can feel better:)

[pd]

I've actually had some CBT in the past (years ago, for something completely different!) and I found it helped at the time, but I've either lost the ability to use what I learned back then, or I can't seem to apply it to anxiety because I learned it for something else, or I just can't remember it, in fact I can barely remember it at all, fuzzy memories of back then:huh: or... something.

Anyway, I could never afford to pay for private CBT, when I had it before it was on the NHS but the waiting list was...long. I think I'll have to do some reading.

[krog]

These people offer telephone counselling.
They are a registered charity and only charge £12 a year to become a member.
Well worth a try if you cannot afford private counseling or the waiting list for CBT is stupidly long where you live............that'll be everywhere then :)
\/
Nopanic.org (http://www.nopanic.org.uk/enterframepage.htm)

[kathee]

C.B.T. for dummies from amazon costs about £10.00 excellent book which i would highly reccommend helped me loads with my catastrophic thinking and other symptoms....take care..x x

[Tangerine Man]

I find deep breathing meditation a useful tool in helping to slow down this annoying tendancy many of us have to over analyse and think of the worst.

Within six months of practice after a single lesson I can now meditate even on a bus or in a noisy shopping centre. It does not always work but at least it is a tool we can use whihc may help.

Just a thought

[cece]

There is a lot of great advice here. I hope you give some of them a try. The two cbt exercises that helped me most are the TEA forms and the putting things back into perspective exercise. Good luck:)

[orchid]

I can relate to this so much. CBT-type techniques do work in challenging irrational thoughts and gaining perspective etc, but it's no good if you're really anxious at the time - I find that then my mind just comes up with more catastrophic thinking and makes it worse - 'oh but what if...' followed by some really unlikely scenario. What an imagination I have sometimes!, but it's scary and difficult to pull yourself out of.

In that case it's better to wait until you are calm before trying to challenge the thoughts, and even then stop if it's making you anxious again because then you can't think clearly and it just makes it worse.

But when you're clear-headed you can really work through it and it helps. However, ironically, I do find that when I'm really calm I just don't need to - I can see clearly already and trust my instincts again 'no, that's silly, I can't believe I thought that!'. The challenge then is not to allow yourself to get drawn into another 'oh, but hang on, maybe...' !!!

[cece]

Really good input orchid. What I do when I find myself worked up in a tizzy is try and say so what, and remind myself that nobody died to calm myself down before I start countering my thoughts.

[cece]

I love this thread. Lots of great viewpoints on in it. I hope everyone is having success with their anxieties:D

[owainm]

I do this all the bloody time and it drive me crazy my psychologist told me it is called catastrophizing (prob spelt wrong) with me trivial things like any confrontations get blown out of all proportion in my head and I think about them for days,i.e. say I have a minor argument with a stranger over something trivial I will then go away and start over analyzing the situation and then start worrying that they are going to come after me. I will stress and stress about it for a few days but then the worry will just dissapear leaving me thinking why was I stressed about it in the first place. But then low and behold next argument or confrontation the same bloody thing happens, it makes me half to go around worring about getting in to a confrotation with anyone which on its own stresses me out, I hate it I have suffered from OCD, GAD and Depressive episodes for the last 13 years and am on constant medication. This problem is one that I have developed in the last two years it seemed to occur at a point in time when I had been stable for two years and had cut back on all my meds, it was like my mind went looking for a new problem to haunt me with

[HarStew]

The best thing to keep me from blowing things out of perspective have been utilizing the TEA forms in the cbt book by Sam Obitz

[harasgenster]

Hi PD. Loads of good advice here.

Put me in mind of a CBT technique I learned where you write down the events as if you were reporting for a newspaper. In a newspaper, all emotional perspective is taken away so you just see the facts.

So, for example. Your story would say - "PD phoned his friend. There was no answer". Those are ALL of the facts. Everything else is emotional perspective. What's useful after that is to imagine you telling somebody that story. Phoning up another mate and saying "I phoned so and so and he didn't answer". How would others react to this story? Would they think there was anything wrong? The vast majority would think they had their phone switched off or something else innocent.

I don't know if it'll be helpful to you but I've found it helps me. It takes my perspective out of the picture and helps me look at things objectively. You might want to try using a selection of techniques all at the same time. If I'm panicking I tend to do three or four helpful things to keep drilling the message in. I'll do breathing exercises while trying to rationalise my thoughts, I'll make lists of possible scenarios (rather than the catastrophic ones), I'll even talk aloud to myself as if I was trying to calm down my best friend if she was in my position! It all helps you to rationalise.

I hope this helps

[ladybird64]

Just tagging on to the end of this thread rather than starting a new one.

I'm not sure if I'm blowing things out of proportion or not, my judgement may be flawed so it's difficult to tell.
I have had a few situations recently where I have struggled to control my emotions, primarily anger. I don't lose my temper completely but the resulting aftermath from these situations is hard to handle, I find it very dificult to calm down.

A few things have happened at home today, nothing too major in the great scheme of things but I'm seriously annoyed, upset and nervy..I have been like this for the past 2 hours and it's showing no signs of abating.

I feel nauseous and shaky and I know this has got to be because of all these minor things.

I guess I'm looking for a quick fix technique to calm myself quicker and to stop this relentless emptional turmoil that goes on for hours, Im not sure what to do as it is becoming a real problem.

I have great respect for anyone who feels that CBT has helped them and I know there are many, but it isn't for me..the idea of sitting writing down every thought and analysing it in detail freaks me out.

Thanks

[cece]

Excellent post harasgenster:yesyes: I think that adds a lot of value to this already great thread. Thanks:D

[cece]

The best thing to keep me from blowing things out of perspective have been utilizing the TEA forms in the cbt book by Sam Obitz

Owainm, I love the TEA forms and they work well but as I said in an earlier post on this very thread the exercise I think that would help you most is called the Puttin g things back into perspective exercise in the book Harstew mentioned. It teaches to come up with things you would do if the worst happened and in the process builds your confidence and ability to handle things. If you work at it eventually the blowing things out of proportion will naturally begin to subside:yesyes:

[PanchoGoz]

OH how I have suffered from BTOOP. Ever since last summer when I very lightly grazed myself on a piece of metal I have been terrified of tetanus. Every little cut and I find myself waiting for days to see if any tetanus symptoms occur. I can't stop myself from BTOOP, but I have one piece of advice which may prove beneficial.

Anxiety is a person, treat it like one. Think about it.
Hmmm I think I will post a thread on my theory, so if you want to search something along the lines of that in the forum then do.

[cece]

OH how I have suffered from BTOOP. Ever since last summer when I very lightly grazed myself on a piece of metal I have been terrified of tetanus. Every little cut and I find myself waiting for days to see if any tetanus symptoms occur. I can't stop myself from BTOOP, but I have one piece of advice which may prove beneficial.

Anxiety is a person, treat it like one. Think about it.
Hmmm I think I will post a thread on my theory, so if you want to search something along the lines of that in the forum then do.

PanchoGoz,
I am not sure what you mean when you say anxiety is like a person, treat it like one? Please elaborate:shrug: