View Full Version : IM I GOING TO LOSE IT.
HELLO
IM 44 AND PROBABLY BEEN SUFFERING FROM ANXIETY ALL MY ADULT LIFE.IT RESULTED IN ME SUFFERING PANIC AND GENERAL ANXIETY AROUND TRAVELLING AND HEALTH ISSUES.TO CUT ALONG STORY I HAVE BEEN DOWN THE USUAL AVE OF TREATMENT DOCTORS PSYCHOLOGISTS SRRI DIAZEPAM AND THEY HAVE HELPED ME.BUT NO PERMANANT SOLUTION.
BRINGING YOU UP TO THE PRESENT I AM IN THE WORST STATE I HAVE EVER BEEN IN.MY SON WHO IS 15 HAS BEEN DIAGONISED OCD ABOUT THREE MONTHS AGO, although he hasnt lived with me for 10 years.THIS HAS WORRIED ME TREMENDIOUSLY.IN FACT CONSTANTLY OBBESSING ABOUT IT MOST OF THE DAY.THIS HAS HAD A TERRIBLE EFFECT ON MY OWN ANXIETY AND HEALTH. I CANNOT SLEEP AND FEEL WORRIED ALL THE TIME.IN THE LAST THREE WEEKS I HAVE GETTING THESE THOUGHTS WHICH ARE DISTURBING ME .EVERY TIME I PICK UP A KNIVE I THINK IM GOING TO STICK INTO ONE OF MY FAMILY OR IMGOING TO HARM THEM IN SOME WAY.ALSO I BEEN HAVINGTHOUGHTS OF HARMING OTHERS LIKE HITTING STRANGERS OR THROUGHING HOT TEA ON OTHERS.....................
THESE THOUGHTS REALLY DISTURB ME BECAUSE WHEN THEY HAPPEN IT FEELS A S THOUGH ITS GOING TO HAPPEN. I FEEL DEVASTED AND FEEL THAT I HAVE NO FUTURE.ITS TORTURE AND WHAT I IF IDID IT.I FEEL SO ANXIOUS ALLDAY I CANNOT SLEEP JUST 2 HOURS.
I WENT TO DOCTORS AND HE PRESCRIBED ME CITALOPRAM 20MG AND REFERRED TO PYSCH TEAM FOR ASSESMENT FIVE DAYS AGO.
IM SO DESERPRATE.
Hi Laz,
Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some great friends.
I am on citalopram too, and they really helped to give me the boost i needed to remain positive.
You will get throught this, we all have our light at the end of the tunnel, just sometimes it is harder to find and sometimes the tunnel seems very long, but by remaining positive you will get there, it is possible and can be done.
Take care
Trac xx
'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwitten'
Hi Iaz
Welcome to the site, i could have wrote that post years ago, every thought you put down i used to have it used to terrify me and i was uncomfortable around children especially. But i found Dr Claire Wweeks books and realised i was never going to harm anyone ( thoughts not instructions ) as Meg will tell you when she comes along later, i only occasionly get them now and i just dismiss them and carry on.
Barb xxx
Hi Laz
Welcome to the forum. Sounds like it is a stressful time for you at present with you own anxiety and your son's diagnosis of OCD.
Many people have thoughts like you are experiencing now but don't actually act on the thoughts. The fact that they scare you shows that you would not choose to carry these through and it is merely another manifestation of anxiety.
We all have thousands of thoughts passing through our brains every day and non-anxious people don't dwell on these thoughts but just let them pass. When you are anxious these can start to become obsessive as you focus on the thought and then worry about it. However, these are just thoughts and not instructions.
When you find yourself experiencing obsessive thoughts make a conscious decision to distract yourself by doing something else - anything that takes your full attention. This can help.
I am glad your doctor has referred you for some help. The medication can take a few weeks before you notice any benefits so you need to give this a bit of time.
Hope we can help and support you through this.
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
Yes. Thoughts not instructions
Energy follows thought. Think scared = be scared.
odd thoughts... (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5201)
Strange thoughts....Anyone else? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5294)
Silly thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5694)
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/lounge /topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=3799
Have you ever achieved freedom from your thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3184)
'what if this is it this time thoughts' (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4694)
Mind racing? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3774)
The Battle that Rages in my Head (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4149)
Where does it come from? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1858)
obsessional negative thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3343)
what if I kill someone? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1972)
Horrible thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5280)
Morbid thoughts (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5482)
Confused? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4187)
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
chucklehound
17-10-05, 15:41
Hi Laz and welcome to NMP where you will get lots of support and
make some new friends too!:D
Take Care
Chucklehound
xxx
Have you ever been any medication that is anti depresant/OCD med these med's stop the repeated unneeded messages from getting threw. I was recently put on luvox(flavoxamine meleate) 50mg and it reduced the intensity of my thinking dramaicly after one dose. I stop an intence scratching habbit of 6 year's fully with in 3 day's. Not only that I have been on the med's for about 3 week's now and I'm not haveing the thought's/images in my head that make me feel so anxious. I use to look at window and imedatly and get thought's and image's of someone just smashing it and grabing me and thing's like that. When I was in car I use get thought and image's of every posible way of having a accidant when eva a car was to close to us or doing did something illegal that might have impacted on us in some way if thay'd lost control or stuffed up.
I dont much about the way you think but if your son has just beed diagnoised with OCD there is a good chance that maybe you stuggle with simular obsessive thought's but in a different way. I recently came across soemthing called OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder) and oh my it discribe's me to a T I posted about in the OCD section if you haven't seen it already. It is different to OCD in that people with OCPD dont feel the need to repeat action in order to stop the thought's in there head from accuring. I'm still reserching it so I dont have a full understanding of yet but that's was one of the difference's that I understood to be.
I have a son with asperger syndrome and he also has slight ODC as part . of sypmtom's of asperger's. It has been learning about aspeger and watching him closly that has made me wonder what if my thinking is not something that I can control 100% either. Since being on these med's I have come to the clonclusion that maybe I was right about it. I noticing a lot difference in my thinking these day's.
It's a just some thing to concider if you have never been on any sort of OCD med's. I was given the med's for anxiety.
hey laz youll find this site will help alot i did, it good talkin to people in the same boat as yourself, hope its helps you....probably catch you around tace care...... cameron
nomorepanic
18-10-05, 08:45
Hi Laz
A warm welcome aboard.
I think that quite a few of us have had those "what if" thoughts at some time or another and whilst they are very scary they are not harmful and I am sure you would never even consider hurting anyone.
Hope you can get some help on here.
Nicola
"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"
Welcome aboard!! :D
"If life were simple, word would have got around"
thankyou for all your support,but i still feel terrible.Not only all these very scary thoughts but since i started taking the CITRALPRAM 20 I FEEL DRAINED ANDNOT WANTING TO TALK MUCH AND FEELING VERY DOWN. BEEN ON IT AWEEK ANYONE ELSE FELT LIKE THIS . Its even abig effort typing this .Also it makes me anxious reading other people s tory . I feel there no way out and that i ll end up in hospital.mainly these thoughts about harming others that is really getting to me.
Hi Laz
It is common to feel a bit worse for a couple of weeks when starting medication, so try to give it some time.
It could take a few weeks before you start to notice any benefit from this.
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
DO YOU THINK THAT I HAVE AFORM OCD OR IS IT PLAIN ANXIETY WHICH IKNOW I DO HAVE. I SEEM TO BE SCARYING MY SELF TO DEATH .I HATE THE THOUGHT OCD . IFEEL ICAN NEVER GET RID OF THESE THOUGHTS.
W.I.F.T.S.
21-10-05, 12:29
I've been through/am going through exactly the same thing mate. I used to be really anxious that whenever I was a passenger with my brother and his young son that I would throw the kid out of the moving van or that if I was in the kitchen I would grab a knife and stab somebody. The important thing to realise is that I've been like this for 3 years and not once have I acted on these impulses. Ofcourse they are scary, they are terrifying. I have found the best way to think of it is that I am anxious and my mind is trying to find something for me to be anxious about, it is imaging all the worst case scenarios.
I'm better now than I have been, but I'm not fully recovered. It's a cliche, but time really is a great healer. Also have you noticed that if you are busy with a sport, work or hobby you don't feel quite so anxious? It is good to have distractions- take up a hobby, join a club. And do some kind of exercise, that is great for stress, for using up adrenaline and releasing feel-good endorphins. Check out Susan Jeffer's book 'Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway' too. Believe me, I know exactly how you feel and there is no quick fix. You've just got to get tough with yourself and say "I can handle this", "I'm not going to let this beat me" and make the fear shrink, not yourself. Do something that scares you (within reason), you will feel amazing afterwards. "What was the big deal!"
Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.
Sounds like anxiety Laz.
I did the whole knife thing - tied them all up in the attic in the end ..
It passed only to be replaced with something else and so it went on , have a read of Megs story on the home pages.
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
I DIDNT MENTION IT , BUT I BEEN PREOCCUPIED WITH THE HARMING THING.TODAY I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF A WORD WHICH COMES INTO MY HEAD EG TIME AND THEN THINKING OF IT AND THEN ANOTHER
ONE AND SO ON .LIKE I M BUILDING UP ALOAD OF WORDS WHICH KEEP GOING ROUND AND ROUND IN MY THOUGHTS.WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS.I FEEL DESPERATE.
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