Introducing me...35yr old with Health Anxiety

[jenza20]

Hi Everyone,

I joined a few days ago in desperation and already am feeling less isolated having lived with Health Anxiety for years.

I don't know what triggered the fears with my health. I think it was when I had kids (I have 4, my eldest is 11) although I did have other mental health issues younger than that. Nothing diagnosed but I always knew my anger, paranoia, depression, (even going back to when I was 15), was not right. I drank a lot as a teen, took pills that I shouldn't have, I was a very troubled young person. That all changed when I ha children myself. They are my world and you would think that I spend all my time worrying about them, which of course I do, but even moreso than that, I am obsessed with my health.

At the moment (and my main ongoing concern), it is related to my stomach problems. I say stomach, I am convinced it is my liver and gallbladder. I have been in hospital a few times for this. Had scans over the past few years (no gallstones) and a laparoscopy to see if it was my bowel or appendix (clear). My liver function tests were raised but noone seems to be that bothered....apart from me because I did used to drink a lot. Other than this being my main concern, I have also had concerns with just about every single part of my body. I go through phases of having cancer, MS, HIV, DVT, heart attacks....oh the list goes on....

The pains I get and the fear I endure is so real I have been to A&E so many times. I am obsessed with my health and addicted to checking my symptoms on Google. It affects my life but thankfully I do have some good days amongst the many bad ones. I have in the past been prescribed anti-depressants which I didn't take because I read up on all the side effects and obsessed about them too. I can't win. Sadly I am just no good at talking about this either to anyone so I live in fear silently. I did try the Linden Method and this is recommended as it did help but when I have a relapse listening to a CD or reading tips on coping strategies just isn't doing much!

Sorry for going on. I am happy I found this forum and that I feel I no longer have to suffer in complete silence anymore.

Jenza x

[sandy35]

Hi Jenza!

Welcome to the forum! I am 35 years old in a couple of months time and know exactly what you are going through. I started having panic attacks during my teenage years and have suffered from health anxiety for many years which i am trying to overcome. I am constantly worried about my liver function as well as i had a drink problem for a few years in my late twenties/early thirties and when i went to have a blood test for my liver function as yellow patches came up on my skin i was lucky not to have cirrhosis of the liver but it did show raised levels in my liver. I have since managed to cut down on my drinking to under the 14 units a week which is the recommended limit for a woman. There have been some weeks that i don't bother having a drink now. But even so i am constantly googling my symptoms and checking to see if the whites of my eyes are yellow or if my nails have turned white. So i can definitely relate to how you are feeling at the moment.

The latest thing is that i had a stomach bug over the last few days which is starting to clear up with taking imodium. When i first got the symptoms of the bug on tuesday i was convinced it was bowel cancer and my anxiety hit the roof. I am glad i am recovering otherwise i would still be sitting here worrying like mad. When i was talking to my mum yesterday she said that it tends to hit my stomach more when i am ill and it sounds like i have a weak stomach and prone to infections there. It may be the same in your case. Anyway, i hope things get better for you soon and you are welcome to pm me anytime for a chat. Take care x

[jenza20]

Wow, that is amazing that our background and symptoms are so alike. Thank you for replying.

I obsessed with the 'yellow' eyes and skin. Still do a lot to be honest. I am always looking at other people's skin to see if it is the same shade as mine. Now I do really feel my skin is slightly more yellow that others but noone has commented yet and I'm too afraid to in case they agree and that will tip me over the edge!

I have had 1 cup of peppermint tea today as it's supposed to help digestion problems but I'm still in pain. I have also been thinking about bowel cancer today because I can't stop thinking about a story I read in a women's magazine (I must stop reading these stories), about a women with symptoms similar to mine who kept being told it was IBS but in fact it turned out to be bowel cancer and the delay resulted in her death. So now I am fretting over that. Why oh why can I not just be normal?

Thanks again for your reply x

[sandy35]

Thats ok. I am worried that i look more yellow than other people as well and im always asking my partner for reassurance. He always tells me that i do not look yellow at all. It does not stop me from worrying. It does not help to hear that someone got misdiagnosed with ibs and it was cancer instead. Its horrible to know that the doctors who are supposed to look after us are incompetent and i find this very frightening. Anyway you have done the right thing in joining this forum and hope you get plenty of advice on this forum and make some friends on here x

[dizzy daisy]

Hi I too have health anxiety and have been a worrier for years.

I am having pain in my right side which sometimes goes into my back and am really frightened by it. I have a small mole on my tummy which I have had for years and years and its right where my waist band is.I have been keeping an eye on it and it hasnt grown or anything) Im ashamed to say but I have put on a few pounds over this last year and the mole gets rubbed a lot more than normal and felt a little sensitive. Anyway now with this pain in my tummy I have convinced myself that this mole is cancerous and is spreading into my liver and thats whats causing the pain. Its awful because now Im too scared to see the Dr.Like you I am on the look out for yellow skin/ eyes but they look normal.

I have had a lot of stress over the last two years and never had digestion problems previously, however more recently I started to get quite a bit of acid reflux and what seem to be the symptoms of IBS. aRRGH!!!

Dizzy Daisy

[jenza20]

I had the same problem as you last year. I was obsessing about my liver but then that all changed when I found a mole on my hip. It HAD changed and I was concerned. It had gone from a small brown mole to an uneven shaped mole that had turned red. It never bled and didn't itch. I started checking photos of cancerous moles (damn that Google!!!), and sure enough, my mole fitted exactly into the criteria.

I went straight to the Dr and it was a locum who promptly called my own GP in for a second opinion. That scared me but soon changed to panic when the GP looked at the other Dr and said, yes, we'll need a 2-week assessment. Well, that was it. I had diagnosed myself! A 2-week assessment in our area can only mean they suspect cancer. Things intensified when I had a phonecall from the skin dept at our hospital that very day. I only had to wait 1 week but it was one of the worst weeks of my life. My partner came with me and I was shaking like a leaf. I was there 5 mins before the skin specialist looked at it (and another one I was concerned with) and gave them a long name and told me they were perfectly harmless and just to leave them alone. I burst into tears and felt someone was looking over me that day.

Now I wish that was a one-off story of how a scare turned into something positive but unfortunately I have burst into tears every time I fear an illness and it turns out to be nothing life-threatening! The fact is health anxiety in itself is a disorder and a bloomin' horrible one at that. Even now I still can't eat but have busied myself with ironing in the afternoon and got a chest pain so have come back on here for reassurance. I hate this fear of fear.

[trev1234]

dont know where to start here !!..listen we are all crazy on this site.(lol).im exactly the same..im 6ft5inch 19.7 stone..male 41 yrs old.done allsorts ..when i was 23 i had some sort of panic attack..couldnt breath ..dizziness..etc ......i started taking amphetimines for some yrs.(short lived way out)..then become fit at the gym..(short lived again)thought i was untouchable..so confident..happy chatty person..all my stresses and anxiety come down on me at once..put weight on etc..lack of confidence..never felt good enough for anyone....still drive to get out..(not very far tho)never walk outside anymore,get scared and dizzy like hell !..i now drink to much to try and deal with this anxiety i have.(night times)..i know its not the way out..im really trying to be normal again..i suffer with all health worries..mostly because all i keep hearing about is health problems,on the radio ,tv etc..and because i appreciate how clever the human body is...i worry any organ could pack up or give me problems at any time.allways checking my eye color..and skin to see if im going yellow etc.any new lumps or bumps..any slow healing cuts..the list is endless..i could never go to hospital even if i was really ill,unless i had a forced sedative..(i wouldnt take one normally)..i worry about leaving my family a friends behind if i became seriously ill..this is just a small portion of how i think...HOPE IT HELP SOME OTHER PEOPLE ON HERE THO..!!..this site is fantstic..remember were not alone..!!