View Full Version : Agoraphobia
Hi everyone my name is Julie and i've been coming onto the NMP website for the past 3 years. I came on origionally after finding the site whilst on holiday and having a really terrible time with anxiety. It has been a real help to me and the posts I always read are the success stories like most of us hoping for some magic cure. I have suffered with agoraphobia for over 20 years now and it has gone through various stages. At my most severe I was unable to leave the house, at my best I went to Kefalonia for 2 weeks then bak to being scared to go a few miles away again. My best was 4 years ago and for the past 3 due to some severe stress in my life I have battled to try and get some normality back. I do work but find it extremely difficult and stressful even with lots of help from my partner who works with me and also work friends. I think i've read every article on the subject, tried drugs, psychotherapy and cbt. At the beginning of the summer I decided i'd had enough of living like this, various things had happened to prompt this such as having 2 grandchildren born and unable to make hospital visits ( although I did visit my daughter once but the anxiety and panic was unbearable ), dreading the summer holidays while my 11 year old daughter just wanted to be excited about it and go to the seaside,my son moving 300 miles away and I wouldn't be able to visit, my partner asking me to marry him and wondering how on earth I would cope with a wedding and finally my partner getting emotional because he felt his world being narrowed by my agoraphobia. I think we just accept it when it only affects ourselves but I couldn't bear that it was affecting the people I love so badly, I had no sleep that night and was so depressed that I thought everyone would be better off without me. I started the following day very emotional but determined that I had got to do something about this if not for myself then for my family. I bought yet another book some time ago that has sat on my bookshelf gathering dust and something made me start reading it and i'm so glad I did. Its called freedom from fear by Howard Leibgold and is refreshingly good. It is written with humour by someone who actually understands agoraphobia because he is a sufferer. I have scribbled and hilighted all over it and been trying to put some of it into practice. Its not easy but its the most success ive had in over 4 years. It isnt a magic cure its just telling you everything you really know such as exercise, healthy eating, relaxation and gradually facing the fear. Its really difficult and i'm keeping a diary but thought if it would help anyone I would keep it updated on here, good or bad. Where I was at before I started this 4 weeks ago was walking with some anxiety with my parner and dog around a small field by my house, this week I walked with my partner and dog on a circular walk a mile and a half. I was ill yesterday though lol. I also won't go into shops alone but today I went into a medium sized supermarket just with my 11 year old daughter. If I am brave enough to give it a go anyone is because I thought i'd never get to this stage again. Sorry about the long post, hope I havent bored everyone. Thanks for reading it and any comments would be really appreciated and encouraging. Lets help each other through this. Come on other agros lol
Thats great, it is so difficult once the agoraphobia takes hold. Had this when I was 13 yrs old. At 15 I was "flooded" as a treatment. I was made to stand on a railway station on my own and watch 2 trains go by get on the 3rd and meet my therapist 2 stops down. Then go home on my own. Needless to say I didn't go back nor was i cured. My mum agreed that if i start to gradually do some things on my own i would have to see the therapist again.
This was a good incentive and gradually managed to do more and most of the agoraphobia disappered by the time i was 20. Unfortunatly I had depression when i was 37 and again now (i am 50) and the agoraphobia has reared its ugly head on both occassions. So I am back to baby steps again.
I did manage to go into Tescos this week while my husband waited in the car, and today I went to the High Street, albeit with my husband, but another little step i guess.
I am so pleased that you are making progress. I guess it's true for us agoraphobics ....no pain no gain.
I look forward to reading the posts on your progress.
Good luck, thinking of you.
Sue
Hi Sue,
thanks for replying. Sorry to hear you are back having problems. I guess its something that we will always have and unfortunately anytime we get stressful situations in our lives its the one area that it will affect. Keep going, you're better than me because I can't go into Tesco alone at the moment. Maybe we can encourage each other.
Well today, been for a run out in the car with my partner. Felt hardly any anxiety at all until we couldn't find where we were supposed to be going then it started to rise. I managed to go to the pub for lunch but was very emotional and when I got home I sat on the bed and cried. My partner Chris pointed out that I had had a victory while we were out as I had gone to the loo alone which was through another room. I know this will sound really stupid but usually Chris has to wait for me outside the loos so I know where he is. This is a part of my agoraphobia that I hate the most, not being able to stay anywhere on my own. Well tomorrow is my first day back at work after 6 weeks off so maybe that was why I was so emotional earlier. I'm dreading it as I haven't had my new timetable yet and I hate the unknown. Takes me weeks to settle when i've been off on holiday. I keep saying I cant wait till I retire lol. Chris says I should just use it as therapy, wish I had his laid back attitude to life!!!
hiya julie im a fellow aggie sufferer have been for 17 years ,,,i had a time i wouldnt cross my front door,,had a major op,,and for some reason the aggie went with the lump in my stomach,,,i was ok until recent when i had to have a eye op fully awake, i went back to panic attacks and found myself putting off trips out again,,well after a bit of a break through last week,,where i made myself lay and listen to a bad panic attack ive decided to give it ,,which is what i call my panic and anx a run for its money,,,asda is my nemises at the mo,,but im pushing myself to go in daily,,even to the point of walking in on my own and finding hubby later,,i walked into the cafe the other day payed for our drinks which i cue,d alone for ,,to anyone else this isnt much but i know you,ll get what a big deal this is to me,,,im going to keep trying ,,because i feel this has taken enough from my life,,and im gonna claim something back,,noo matter how long or hard this is, so i,ll keep up the hard graft if you will,,,keep posting your victorys,,,and i,ll join you,:roflmao:
Hi Teez,
Thats brilliant! Going into busy supermarkets is a real problem of mine and i suppose most of us, also having to wait in a queue so well done you!!!
I've been to work today after the summer holidays, I am a teaching assistant in a special school. This by the way is only possible as i work in the same school as my partner and 2 very good understanding friends. I had no sleep last night worrying about it and went to work with a terrible headache. On a scale of 1 to 20 i was about a 7 all the way to work on the half hoour journey. Took me until after lunch to relax and get don to about a 3. And thats with no kids in!!! lol Hopefully tomorrow I will feel slightly more relaxed on the way to work and to be honest when the kids are there it does actually help me because i have something to take my mind off it and also i have to put on a brave face for them. So keep up the good work ladies and lets see what tomorrow brings. You keep giving it a run for its money Teez and i'll keep telling mine to F*** off when it rears its head and between us we will beat it!! I live in a small village on the Staffs?Cheshire border, where are you both from?
Hi Julie
I am from Rainham, Essex.
Well done with keeping the anxiety low on your first day back and with your pub lunch. I know how hard these situations can be and exhausting.:yesyes:
And good for you Teez giving IT a run for its money. :yesyes:
I work with my husband too so we have been travelling in together, only 10 mins in the car for the last 11 wks.
Sooooo next week, I am going to take the plunge and drive in on my own, :scared15:
which at the moment feels a real big deal. I will keep you posted.
I can understand where you are at with going to the loo though, I was exactly the same myself years ago, if there was no female company out with me who I could "encourage" to join me in a visit to ladies I would sit with my legs crossed all night. Don't know how my bladder survived..lol!
Anyway good luck with your next challenge both of you. I look forward to reading about your success.
Take care
Sue xxxx:bighug1: :bighug1:
we live in Essex and,,well done you,,sounds like you took the bull by the horns julie, i know what you mean about the distraction, when im in shops,,and a panics brewing , i look round for something to take my mind of it,.,,last night i took my dogs out for the first time since marley my german sheppard was attacked by a resident chavs staffy,,this is the second time and not knowing when the dog was going to appear left me a nervous wreck ,,well after reading your post i was inspired to try something of my own,,,well although my little heart was going like a train i walked my three dogs,,only on the field outside ours,,but its where marley and our other dog was attacked,,so i think i managed ok, look forward to your next installment julie keep going and so will i:hugs:
allangering
08-09-09, 09:05
The goal of treatment is to help you function effectively. The success of treatment usually depends on the severity of the phobia.
Systematic desensitization is a technique used to treat phobias. You are asked to relax, then imagine the things that cause the anxiety, working from the least fearful to the most fearful. Gradual exposure to the real-life situation also been used with success to help people overcome their fears.
Anti-anxiety and antidepressant medications are often used to help relieve the symptoms of phobias.Call for an appointment with your health care provider if you develop symptoms of agoraphobia.
sandramick
08-09-09, 09:43
hi all
i understand everything you are saying ..queues , loos , supermarkets nightmare :winks:
have been doing loads betta lately just when due on i go really down bank ,it so annoying last week shopped with very little worry today i didnt dare even go in the corner shop !.
well done to u all small steps are theway to go .
keep up the good work :roflmao:
love
sandra
p.s from leek in staffs
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Sandra
Yeah its weird isn't it, one day you can do things with ease another day the same things feel so much more difficult. Not sure why that is. I guess it is just a case of not getting dishearted or over reacting to the bad days. Easier said than done though.
Hope you have a better day tomorrow.
Sue xxxx
The goal of treatment is to help you function effectively. The success of treatment usually depends on the severity of the phobia.
Systematic desensitization is a technique used to treat phobias. You are asked to relax, then imagine the things that cause the anxiety, working from the least fearful to the most fearful. Gradual exposure to the real-life situation also been used with success to help people overcome their fears.
Anti-anxiety and antidepressant medications are often used to help relieve the symptoms of phobias.Call for an appointment with your health care provider if you develop symptoms of agoraphobia.
i went to my gp with my aggie years ago ,,,to be told to pull myself together,,or he would have me sectioned,,,mmmhhhhmmm,,, never went there again,,and this doctor doesnt believe i have agoraphobia because i can get to his surgery,,,no pleasing some lol,,,i dont want to take meds,,as i feel if i win this battle on my own without chemical intervention ,,when it crops up again which having this as my second battle i,ll know how to deal with it ,,which is what i and hopefully my comrades julie and sue are going into battle to do ,,oh and anyone else whose willing to join our club ,,:hugs:
Hi everyone,
first thing i want to do is give everyone a huge apology, i said i would come on here everyday with an update and only managed 2 days!!!! Well Tuesday i had no internet and thought theres nothing i can do about that so i would come on on Wednesday and apologise. Wednesday i came home from work and just got straight into bed with the migraine from hell. managed to go to work Thursday but had to wear my sunglasses all the way as the sun was shining and making my head worse. Got to work and felt so sick and ill all day that i didnt dare go onto the laptop when i got home as it would of made it worse. Its only today that ive started to feel better. i know its just stress with going to work after 6 weeks, evryone is complaining that they are worn out and stressed but with my agoraphobia on top its been awful. So ive not really been working on myself as ive not had the energy and been too stressed. Today i have taken my dog for a walk at rudyard lake but didnt push myself too hard as its the first day ive felt well and just wanted it to stay that way. got to go to liverpool in the morning with my daughter to take all her things back to uni which i am dreading but i need to make sure she is ok. will take a few things in the car as a distracion. the worst part of the journey for me is the motorway. i get really anxious as soon as i get on there as i feel trapped inbetween junctions as we cant just turn around. also i fear there being an accident or roadworks and getting trapped on there. So wish me luck everyone and i will be back tomorrow with an update. keep up the good work everyone and hope everyone is having a lovely weekend. xx
Hi Sandra,
you dont live far from me then if you are in Leek x
Hi Julie
Good luck with the journey, I worry about getting stuck in traffic too. Distraction is the trick, (says she)!!!
I have had a couple of "not so good days" so strange isn't it, today in Tescos with my husband i felt quite anxious, just wanted to run for the door, but managed to keep going. Where as earlier in the week i had no problem in there on my own!!!
I have been invited out for a meal tomorrow evening, it's my sister in laws anniversary. Last week i would have breezed through it, at the moment i am not looking forward to it. Having the "what if" thoughts.
Anyway enough about me. Have a good journey tomorrow.
Take care
Sue xxxx:hugs:
hope you enjoy your meal. have a few drinks for a bit of courage!!
Alabasterlyn
13-09-09, 14:28
I'm another fellow agoraphobia so thought I would add a little bit about my experience with agora on here. Mine started back in the 70's after a stressful few years of moving to a new part of the country, leaving school, having chronic anaemia and just being basically very unhappy.
I'm now 54 and I can honestly say I have tried everything to overcome this horrible agora, but nothing has really helped that much. I've had periods of years when I couldn't even get beyond the front door and even hanging out the washing was a nightmare. I could sit here and write a book about all the things I have missed out on over the years whilst dealing with this and have gone through a marriage breakup and lots of other life changing events due to this.
Right now my safe zone is pretty much the town I live in, although I can get further when it's dark as for some reason I feel safer then. I can walk to my local shops alone which are just around the corner, but on a bad day even that is impossible. I go into town probably once a week when it's late night shopping and I can get around a mall that has 140 shops in it, but only by moving the car from car park to car park so that I'm never too far from the car!
I do take medication but quite honestly feel that a lot of medications don't work long term but have stayed on them as I just get myself worked up into a state if I try to come off them.
Next month I have a wedding to go to and I am dreading it already as it's right in the middle of town on a Saturday afternoon and I'm not sure that I can handle that.
Hi Lynn, Sue, Sandra, Teez and anyone else who reads this post. Yeah its weird isn't it, one day you can do things with ease another day the same things feel so much more difficult. Funnily enough Sue my partner Chris asked me the very same question today. I felt dreadful this morning when i got up as i'd had hardly any sleep at all with worrying about going to liverpool today but i still went ahead with it. i used distraction and what ive started to do is keep a diary as i go along so i can look back and see where i was my most or least anxious. while im writing this it does help to distract me a little. when i got onto the motorway today my anxiety level went up to about an 8/10 i use this scoring system all of the time as a good judge of how anxious i am. tell you what i will copy you todays page from my trip to liverpool to see if it will help anyone. hope you dont get bored reading it lol.
8.52 set off from house for liverpool anxiety about a 2
9.00 get onto a500 ( this road is a dual carriageway and can get busy so im expecting my levels to go up )
9.03 its really foggy and ive gone up to a 4
9.05 just got onto motorway and shot straight up to about an 8. going to try to do the crossword in newspaper.
9.23 watching and working out how far it is between exits incase we get caught in traffic. was don to about a 4 but just shot up to an 8 again as ive heard that a lorry has shed its load on the m6 in cheshire but i didnt hear where so now im watching the traffic to see if its slowing down and cant concentrate on my crossword
9.44 left motorway and still about a 6/7. need the loo desperately now. a combination of adrenaline and sugarfree mints isnt advisable!
10.01 arrived at nikkis house and unpacked, still feel really anxious and like im having trouble breathing. decided that in for a penny in for a pound and im going to go down to the albert dock to see if we can park near a shop to go in to buy some beatles memorabilia for my other daughter jemma as she is a massive fan.
had to park right by the shops and i did manage to go in 2 and buy something. i couldnt walk all around the semi circle of shops i had to do a few then go back to see where the car was and go to them again from a different direction but i did it and now i feel great and my anxiety is only about a 3!!!
11.15 set off from docks. this is bit i hate now as traffic is a bit busier than when we arrived and it looks like we may get sent around a one way system and not the way we came. its ok we could get out the carpark another way and go back the same way so i feel easier about that now.
11.33 got back on m6 and not such a sharp rise in anxiety this time, not sure if its because i have just got used to it today or because im playing a game on my phone?
12.00 just noticed that my thumb is really sore and ive bitten my nails quite short. dont remember doing that?
12.06 made Chris get off the motorway a junction early as the traffic is building up and im worrying that it may be due to that earlier accident.
12.20 home and i feel pretty proud of myself. got to think of a nice treat for myself now!!!!!
So there you go girls, i made it. im just really tired now tonight so im going to try and have an early night as ive got a busy week at work but more of that tomorrow. take care everyone and keep each other updated with news, good or bad. i started this thread not just for myself but so we can support and encourage each other xx
lynn
im sure you will be fine at the wedding. i hate anything ilke this too. i have a 21st party on saturday night and my partner wants to have a drink so it means walking or a taxi which i dread too. be nice to actually enjoy a social event for once wouldnt it!!!!
Hi Julie
Well done you deserve a treat. I bet you are tired, it is exhausting dealing with anxiety etc.
I managed to go out for a meal tonight. Woke up early this morning dreading it though. I have a vague feeling of anxiety all day. I managed to get an hours sleep this afternoon which i find helps.
I felt pretty brave when I left home, when we got to the restaurant we were told it would be 30 min wait....anxiety went up then!!!!!
oops posted too soon...
So distracted myself by looking around the bar, played the fruit machine, and chatted.
I can't say the evening was fun but I coped. I took my mobile phone and did some texting that i had to do, and then just tried to listen intently to the conversations that were going on at the table. I managed it :yesyes: .
Lyn, maybe you could try to plan the distractions that you could use at the wedding. I think sometimes the antisipation of an event is worse than the event itself. I will try to come up with some suggestions for distractions that you could use.
Take care everyone.
Chat soon
Sue xxxxx
sandramick
14-09-09, 09:42
well done ju walking round liverpool is really good .:yesyes:
an well done sue on your night out :yesyes:
i cant imagine wot it must be like to be "normal " and do these kind of things without worrying and actually enjoying them !! .
i had a really busy day at work on sat and i coped really well but yesterday i was really "off " seems to really take it out of u when u push your self and achieve things does nt it .
i cant complain because i am doing so much betta lately but the worry is always there one good day then a couple of bd ones ...then the worry u are going down bank again !!!!
sorry im rambling now :blush:
enjoying this thread .
where about do u live ju ? u must be close .
all the best all
love
sandra
xxxxxx:bighug1:
Alabasterlyn
14-09-09, 12:48
lynn
im sure you will be fine at the wedding. i hate anything ilke this too. i have a 21st party on saturday night and my partner wants to have a drink so it means walking or a taxi which i dread too. be nice to actually enjoy a social event for once wouldnt it!!!!
I really really don't even want to go to this wedding, which sounds really antisocial. I don't particularly like the guy who is getting married and don't know his future wife. It's his 3rd marriage and he is actually a childhood friend of my partner and we rarely see him, but my partner says he has to go which makes me pretty cross as I can't see why. I'm not particularly fond of weddings and I can't see the point of two middle aged people getting married who already live together. Call me a party pooper but I see it as one huge waste of money. The wedding is being held where I got married some 35yrs ago and doesn't have particularly happy memories for me either which doesn't help :ohmy:
Hi All
I agree Sandra, it does seem to sap all of your energy after a good day, then the bad day that follows starts the negative thinking again.
I suppose at the moment the fact that there are "good days" is a plus...lol.
I woke up this morning felt a bit low and anxious, but by the afternoon it had lifted and the rest of the day has been the best in months, I am trying not to get carried away though, because when the next bad day comes I don't want to feel too disappointed.
I am really pleased that you are doing better lately, gives that glimps of "light at the end of the tunnel":yesyes:
And Lyn, your not being antisocial, if you are not fond of weddings or the groom you have every reason not wanting to go. I guess your reason for attending is to support your partner.
Are you going to the ceremony and the reception, maybe you could cut down the time you spend there. If it isn't far from where you live maybe you could go home for a while? I am still trying to think of some distractions you could use.
Take care everyone
Chat soon
Sue xxxxx :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
evening ladies.
hi sandra yes i live in newchapel, do you know it? i work in leek though. what do you do as you mentioned work? i agree that the anticipatory anxiety is worse than the actual event. whenever i have got to go anywhere i get myself really worked up and dont sleep which makes matters even worse. well done sue for managing to stay at the restaurant and have your meal. its terrible isnt it that a meal out should be really enjoyable and relaxing but its actually torture at times. i think weddings are really stressful because its a long day with lots of waiting around. try and think of some distraction tactics and the idea of going home for a while inbetween lunch and evenings is an excellent idea. lots of people do this so nobody would notice. ive managed quite well today even though i didnt sleep very well last night and woke up running the loo. was fine on the way home even though we had to go a different way to pick chris's daughter up but then chris went into the house and closed the door and left me in the car in the street. it seemed like ages and i tried reading the newspaper and ringing my daughter as a distraction but i had a really bad panic attack. felt awful all night since. stupid isnt it!!x
Hi Ju
Poor you, panic is the pits isn't it, but it's not stupid, it's just the way we are at the moment. Was it the fact that you were in the car on your own or that you felt trapped?
I wonder if you could have got out of the car for a moment or would that of made things worse for you?
Sometimes it is really difficult to know what to do for the best when panic starts.
I was bought a Nintendo DS a couple of years ago, I take this with me on journeys as i find some of the games can be very absorbing and distracting.
Hope you have a good day tomorrow.
Take care
Sue :hugs:
Hi I`m another fellow Agoraphobia sufferer and have been for nearly 3 years now. Can I join your club?
Since the start of 2009 I have been practicaly housebound due to my Agoraphobia. Things are starting to get a bit better.
On Thursday just passed I managed to get a bus into my local town and then to go to the hairdressers where I had to sit and wait to be taken. I went into a couple of shops afterwards for a look then got a bus home again. This for me is a huge achievement.
Then today I went into my local town again because I had to go to the bank which always makes me anxious. I couldn`t face going by bus so I got a taxi instead. When in the bank I just wanted to leave but having my mum with me for company helped me see it through. Afterwards I went shopping in the local pet shop as i`m getting a puppy in October. When I got home I felt exhausted it really takes a lot out of you.
Anyway thats pretty much it all for now.
Cheryl
castlesinthesky
15-09-09, 03:07
I'm going on 8 years with agoraphobia,so i know the feeling all to well.
I just wanted to say thank you for this thread about agoraphobia. I've been agoraphobic, on and off, since the 1970s:blush: but I still haven't given up!
Well done to all of you who are finding ways through this horrible condition.
Oh, and Starlight, I think getting a pupply is a great idea!
Wendy:)
sandramick
15-09-09, 09:37
well done cheryl you are doing really well :yesyes:
ju is that near to buxton ?
i work in a pub its nice an little and i only usually work dinner times with older customers so i usually manage to keep a smile on my face (hard to do sometimes ) .
i seem to be having an off week this week i sitting here this morning really not wanting to go ! i think maybe my iron levels are low cos just bin on for over a week . i am 41 so wether it changing hormones i dont no .:blush:
lyn going to a wedding would be a nightmare for me its all that waiting around and being trapped my partner is very understanding andhis support gets me through such things how is your partner ?
oh well betta face the world , supose by tonight i will feel knacked !! blinking stupid isnt it !
have a good day all
love sandra
xxxxxxxx:bighug1:
Hope your day gets better Sandra. Maybe eat a banana and give yourself some extra strength? Hopefully, you'll get some interesting characters you can listen to in the pub!:hugs:
Hi everyone
You are doing really well Cheryl and welcome to the club..lol, try not to be put off by bad days, accept them for what they are "a bad day". Hard to do I know.
I think a puppy is a great idea too. When I had my last bad episode of agoraphobia i had a dog too so I used to take her out for a walk and gradually built up the distance, it really helped me get out.
Wendy, it is good you are not giving up on the agoraphobia, I had it in the 1970's i was 13 yrs old it gradually diminished and by the time i was around 20 i was living a normal life apart from a few situations i couldn't face.
I had lots of major life events at 37 and had a bout of depression/anxiety this brought the agoraphobia back with a vengence for a year or so, but gradually it disappeared again and i have been better than ever for the last 13 years until 3 months ago when i had a second bout of depression and again the agoraphobia has raised it's ugly head. So I am doing battle with it at the moment, but it is difficult with the depression as i am quite exhausted some of the time. But I know the dreaded agoraphobia can be beaten back to insignificance.
Sorry you are not having a good week Sandra, pesky hormones thay have got a lot to answer for!!!
Hope you all have a good day today. Chat later.
Sue xxxxx:bighug1:
sb001f8994
15-09-09, 10:45
Hi All,
Ive had agoraphobia since I was 16, Im now 47. Luckily for most of the time Ive not been housebound but the last 6 years have been both good and bad. The best being recenlty when Ive managed to get to the supermarket and I try to get out every day even for small car journeys. I have found that Im not as anxious as I was but Im not being too hopeful as this anx has a habit of rearing its ugly head when you least expect it!
I too have not been able to visit my grandchildren, or do weddings and other family celebrations and sometimes you feel like you just exist and this is not living at all. I even got married in my living room, which was very intermate but I wanted the whole horse and carriage thing! We make do and after all these years Im sick of making do, sitting in and waiting for the evil panic to set in but what do I do? Im in a rut and so used to staying in, the world outside my comfort zone seems a very scary place, will I ever be able to make my world that little bit bigger? I live in hope!
Best wishes,
Carol x
Everyone's posts as so inspiring and give us all hope - thank you everyone! It's good to know that I'm not the only long-term agoraphobic. You're right Carol, we do "make do" don't we! And Sue, I agree about the anxiety rearing it's ugly head just when we least expect it - grrrr!!
As someone who loves drawing, especially cartoons, I keep meaning to try to make a cartoon character of "my" anxiety and then a comic strip of all the ways it can trick us! Might be good if we all visualised panic/anxiety and put it on paper - then we can make fun of it, like it does us!!
I'm waffling now lol!
Wendy:hugs:
Alabasterlyn
15-09-09, 12:22
This is very nice having a thread just for agoraphobia that we can all hopefully glean info and encouragement from :D
I also agree with Carol saying that we 'make do', that certainly applies to me. The only times I have managed to really push myself to do something big have been when my son got married back in 2005 and I just knew I had to be at the wedding as my ex husband wasn't invited and I felt that if I didn't turn up my son wouldn't have either of his parents there. The reality was not only that I managed it but I was out of the house for a whole afternoon and evening and by the time everyone else was going home I didn't want to leave as I was having such a wonderful time! Then when my son and his wife had their first baby in 2007 I pushed myself to go to the hospital to see my granddaughter after she was born and once again I was fine.
I am lucky that I do have a very understanding partner, but I know that other people don't understand how i am and assume that because I look normal that there is nothing wrong with me. Perhaps one day people will realise that having agoraphobia doesn't mean you have two heads or have agora written across your forehead :blush:
This morning my partner phoned me to say the stag and hen do for this wedding next month are this coming Saturday aaarrrggghhhh! I can handle that as it's local and it will be in the evening, I just don't want to go. However if I let my partner go alone I always worry about what other people will say, and let's face it people do say negative things. I have lost count of people who have told my partner that they couldn't live with someone like me :ohmy:
Cheryl, I think you did well sitting through a hairdressers appointment. That is still something I just cannot do as I just feel too trapped. As for getting a dog, I think it depends on how hard you find it to go out. We have a labrador and although I am capable of taking her out if I am honest most of the time I just don't bother. By the time I have got her harness and lead on and got a poop scoop bag sorted I am already having second thoughts and I don't like it when people stop to chat when I am walking her either as that makes me feel trapped, so I prefer to go without her.
Sue, the Nintendo is a good distraction. Maybe we could all write down what work best for each of us, we may get some good ideas. When I go out I take my iPod touch so that if we get stuck in traffic I can watch a film on it, which I find more distracting than listening to music. I also have a stress ball that I take out with me if I'm going somewhere that is very difficult and I do find that helpful. I know a lot of people take a bottle of water, peppermints, rubber bands, that kind of thing. I also have some Rescue Remedy but haven't got around to trying it yet!
Hi, it is so nice to have found this web site and this thread. I have been suffering from panic and agoraphobia on and off for the last 16 years. (I'm 39 now.) While I have met other people who suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, I've never had a chance to communicate with others that have agoraphobia. Reading your stories, I feel like I am reading about my own life. I also have had periods where I have been housebound. Luckily I've also had years when panic wasn't a problem. I started slipping again about 5 years ago and the agoraphobia became a problem again about 2 years ago. It seems that when I have good periods all it takes is 1 big panic attack to bring me back to square 1. I am doing well enough now, though eating out and social events are a torture. I actually got married in May and rather than being a dream, it was a nightmare for me. I couldn't wait for the whole thing to be over. I barely even remember it as I spent the whole time praying to make it through and counting the seconds until the last guests finally shoved off.
My husband is supportive enough, though I tend to believe that it has more to do with the fact that he's lazy than that he understands. What he is not supportive on is taking medication and he doesnt understand that at the moment, I can't make it without it. I had to go back on meds to be able to make it to the wedding otherwise it would never have happened. He came to talk to the doctor the other day and so he has gotten off my case but only because the doctor assured him that panic/anxiety is cureable. This made me furious as in 16 years, while some times have been better than others, I haven't been cured. I actually even had a long term stay in hospital where the doctors told my ex that I was 'cured' when I left, when in fact I felt even worse than when I went in.
Anyhow, sorry for the rant, it is just so new and unbelievable to talk to people who understand. I want to congratulate all of you who have taken buses, gone to the hair dressers, taken the dog for a walk, etc. You know what you had to overcome to do it and it is a major victory. Spend some time being proud of yourselves.:yesyes:
sb001f8994
15-09-09, 14:06
Hi All,
Has anyone come accross this one before? I find that on meeting people all is well untill I mention my problem with getting out, they run to the hills! Ive learnt over the years not to mention anything until I know the person well and on a couple of occasions that has frightened them off too. I am left feeling rather embarrassed to admit my agoraphobia like its some sort of plagued that they will catch or they think Im barking and steer clear of me.
Take care,
Carol x
Alabasterlyn
15-09-09, 15:01
Hi Carol, yes I've often noticed people change when I tell them about my agora too. I get fed up of having to explain what it actually means as most people assume you are scared of large open places, which isn't the case at all.
My partner's niece has compared me to a vampire as I prefer to go out at night and she thought it was quite funny, as did the people who heard her say it. People start to think you are unsociable when you don't accept invitations to go places because they don't take the time to take onboard why you can't do things.
Like you I don't bother telling anyone unless I have to as I just get tired of the responses I get :ohmy:
sb001f8994
15-09-09, 15:26
Hi Lyn,
I prefer to go out when its dark, noone about and the roads are quieter too. And yes Ive had the unsociable thing too. I love company, parties and contrary to popular belief Im a fun person! Often you dont get the chance to be the real you because of anxiety and I have to say there's alot of my husbands family who dont even know what I look like!
I find younger people more accepting, older ones tend to think you should pull yourself together and snap out of it...if only it was that easy!
Carol x
anxious elephant999
15-09-09, 15:52
Hi i think i have agrophobia well i know i have agrophobia im too scared too go anywhere because i suffer from constant dizziness and major adrenaline surges that make me feel like im going to collapse , but this happens in the house too , how im i going to get over it
sb001f8994
15-09-09, 16:15
Hi anxiouselephant999,
Have you seen your GP? There are lots of meds that can help and there's support too. I dont take meds because I just dont think they're right for me but they can help, dont suffer in silence. You have to fight this with all your might and dont give up as I have in the past. Now Im trying my hardest to get over this and even if I only make my little world that little bit bigger it will be worth it. Ive found taking baby steps has helped me. I do something say go round the block in the car and do it over and over till it no longer fills me with dread, then I go further. Now Im gettinig to the supermarket, only in the first aisle but Im trying to get further in...soon we will have meat to go with all that veg!!!
I hope you seek some help, dont let it win, anxiety is such a bully but it hates it when you fight back.
Take care,
Carol x
sandramick
15-09-09, 16:16
hi all
after all that worrying ,i did it (and quite easily ) too , have been really busy but i smiled and chatted my way through it another case of the thoughts being much worse than reality .
`com1`putcer5 playingv up spiltc coffee on it waill try again wahen dryed out 1`
sb001f8994
15-09-09, 17:34
Hi Sandramick,
I think we all suffer from anticipation anxiety and its always worse than the actual event.
Well done.
Carol x
Hello all
Hope everyone has had a good day.
I agree Carol, baby steps, that seem to be the answer for me too.
Yup, I have experienced people that don't know how to handle that fact that I suffer with agoraphobia. My husband's sister, despite the fact that we are more like sisters she runs a mile when i am struggling. As though i am contagious.
Hi Kabuki, I walked down the aisle dosed up on propranol and having ectopic heartbeats 19 to dozen.
Glad your day was better than expected Sandra,(well apart from the spilled coffee...lol) amazing sometimes doing things seems much easier than others. Still hopefully you will be able to build on the good days so they become more frequent.
I use the rescue remedy, lyn, and i find it quite helpful. That a good idea sharing coping and distraction strategies. Maybe we could each post a list?
If i drew my vision of anxiety i would give you all a good laugh, my lack of artistic talent precedes me. Even the grandchildren won't let me join in their drawing/guessing games as no one ever guesses my pictures!!!! (still doesn't stop me trying).
Chat with you all later.
Sue xxxxxxx
evening ladies, and especially new ladies, youre all very welcome. wow its great that so many of us are now joining this thread and helping each other. hi sandra, no buxton is the opposite direction to me. i go home through rudyard then biddulph moor. i used to have a pub job in my local that my friend got me just to get me out more and it did me the world of good. which pub do you work in ( not that i know leek that well yet! ). well done cheryl for going on the bus and for waiting in the bank. i know how difficult those things are. i couldnt get on a bus for anything!!! i had a puppy last year to encourage me to go out more and hes great. does drag you out all weathers whether you want to or not. i too wonder if some of this is aggravated by hormones as some days im much worse than others for no obvious reason. i've also found that some people dont understand. my boss is fantastic and will do anything he can to make my life at work as easy as he can but his deputy has absolutely no understanding or empathy and i dread it if he is off and she is in charge. in fact in the past i have rung or text him instead of going to her because i just cant stand her manner. i think you have to choose the people you confide the most in very carefully.
i started the day really badly today and dont feel great now infct i am going to try to go to bed quite early. i was fine before work and on the way there then as soon as i arrived i started to feel really tight in my chest and like i couldnt get enough breath in. that is a symptom i only get when im really anxious over a period of time. its like a build up and i really hate it. it makes me panic even more as i hate the feeling of not being able to breath. i am out all day from school tomorrow with my partner and another member of staff fishing so hopefully i can relax and get back on an even keel. apart from the journey there and back it should be a nice day. hope you all have a good day tomorrow. keep up the good work girls. im really proud of you all and remember no matter how small the steps are they all matter so stick with it. there is light at the end of the tunnel, i know ive seen it once and im going to bloody see it again, we all are!!!!!
sb001f8994
16-09-09, 10:57
Hi Everyone,
Hope we are all well this morning.
Julie, Ive seen that light too, it flickers for a little while then sadly disappears!!! But I will not give up hope and today Im going to take the dog for a little walk, something I havent done in a long time. Im not expecting miracles but just to get past that dreaded corner at the top of my road would be good.
Take care all and have a good anx free day.
Carol x
Alabasterlyn
16-09-09, 11:31
I do think hormones play a part in all anxiety disorders. Looking back I can see that when I started the menopause my anxiety got much worse. At the time I didn't realise I was going into the meno, so it's only now when I look back that I see it all so clearly. I am still suffering with the meno crap after 7yrs which doesn't help the anxiety as it's really messed up my sleeping big time. I really think that as we use up so much nervous energy just getting through the day that a good night's sleep is important. When I don't sleep well I feel crappy and tired the next day and it really impacts on my agora.
I am having my hair cut later today, luckily I have a nice girl that comes to my house. However I still can't manage to even get that done if I am alone, how sad is that? A 54yr old woman who has to have her partner sitting in the other room so that she can get her hair done! I wouldn't dare tell anyone 'normal' :blush:
Next week our central heating boiler is being serviced and I'm anxious about that already as having workmen in the house makes me feel trapped too!
sb001f8994
16-09-09, 11:40
Hi Lyn,
No there are some things I wouldn't tell a 'normal' person either! I have a lovely girl doing my hair, shes been doing it now for two years and I still get anxious when shes here. I have a big prob now as shes off to Australia for a year and her sister is taking over...mega panic for me I think! And I can totally relate to having the work men in, we had the decorators in for three days, although I was ok the run up was awful. Its like I said in an earlier post, the anticipation anxiety is worse than the event.
Take care,
Carol
Alabasterlyn
16-09-09, 12:01
Hi Carol, yes that anticipatory anxiety is hell. Here is me not being able to cope with the simplest of things yet when things are dropped on me with no notice I am fine! A few months ago a guy knocked on my door as he was taking down some trees in my neighbours garden. On the spur of the moment I had a 40ft tree taken down in my back garden that took 3 men pretty much all day to do. There is no way on earth I would ever have arranged for that work to be done without my partner being at home all day to oversee things and yet I was totally okay. This condition is weird beyond words!
I do hope you manage okay with your new hairdresser. Does your present one know about your agora or not? Mine knows about mine as her father is a work colleague of my partner, although we never really talk about it. I've gone through about 3 hairdressers over the years as I've been too embarrassed to tell them that I could only cope with evening appointments when it's Summer and the nights are light :blush:
sb001f8994
16-09-09, 12:23
Hi Lyn,
It is strange that when things are done spare of the moment we cope much better. I analise things and concentrate too much on the negatives! Yes my hairdresser knows I cant get out, shes such a lovely girl and Im going to miss her. if her sister is anything like her she will be lovely too. I dont need my hubby here though, Im ok at being on my own. Most of the time when I get my hair done, Amy (my daughter) and my mum are getting their hair done too. It always tends to be a very chatty, enjoyable event! So why do I fret? God only knows!!!
Carol
I guess I'm pretty lucky because I can still get to the hairdresser but (and it's ridiculous) only a trim. Gone are the days of colour or highlights. It's in and out as fast as can possibly be managed. It also means I'll have the same hairstyle for the rest of my life :D
I have learned that what scares 'normal' people is more the word that ends in phobia than your not being able to go out. I simply tell people my symptoms now and that pretty much makes everyone comfortable. So, 'no, I can't meet you because I'm dizzy or my arms are numb' is fine and understandable to everyone even when it happens over and over again. I consider that to be pretty strange as well.
I agree with you all that baby steps are the answer. If any of you are seeing a therapist, you should ask your therapist to come with you on the 'outings'. I had a therapist that did this with me years ago and it made a huge difference. They are trained to deal with you in a way that your loved ones aren't and therefore can't offer the same suggestions/help. With the therapist I was able to stay in a situation through the panic attack and it would never have happened with my ex there. I would have made him take me home
sb001f8994
16-09-09, 18:24
I took the dog for a walk! I got passed that dreaded corner and up to the first lamppost...whoopiiiii!
Kabuki you are right, having someone not so close to you is a very good idea, I find I dont want to embarrass myslef by panicking in front of them...does this sound silly? Trouble is where I live I cant get the help as the NHS dont allow for home visits so I have to muddle along on my own.
I lie the dog helped me today!
Carol
Hi everyone how has your day been?
Thats great Carol, :yesyes:
today the first lampost tomorrow who knows...lol. How did you feel after the outing?
I stayed at home this morning for 1 1/2 hours on my own...and I was better than i thought i would be. Hubbie came back to pick me up by that time i had actually had a shower while in the house on my own. (I get nervous doing that even when i am phobia free).
It is very true that the anticipation stokes up the flames of anxiety, a few weeks ago I was struggling with my daughter and her family visiting on Sundays, to the point of wanting to escape to somewhere...where i don't know!! After they had been here for an hour the anxiety would start to settle down, then one Sunday completely unannounced my nephew, wife, their 5 year old, 3 year old ( who are both lively kiddies) and new born turned up along with my other nephew and his girlfriend......my first thought was omg what am i going to do, how and i going to cope, what if i lose it end up a babbling wreck (i don't catastrophise).
I decided the only thing i could do was to get totally involved in the conversations that were going on and distract myself, it actually worked and i was fine and enjoyed the whole evening. (added bonus was holding the new born all evening ... i cant help it i am a baby person!!)
Well i have rambled on enough ...sorry:blush:
Catch up with you all later
Take care
Sue:hugs:
sb001f8994
16-09-09, 18:59
Hi Sue,
I was anxious reaching the corner and going round the corner but I made myself get to the lamppost, all the time thinking 'Whats the worst that can happen?' I didnt die, pass out or run home!
Having people just turn up is the best kind of visitors, you dont have time to panic!
Take care
Carol
Hi everyone. well done carol for making it around the corner and to the lampost!! when i make my minh up i am doing something i have things i do. when i get those negative thoughts i just say "shut up" and i just keep telling myself that those feelings are only anxiety and cant kill me just make me feel uncomfortable. i arn't going to die, pass out or lose my mind. whats the worst that can happen? anxiety squirts but can only last for ten minutes and has to start coming down. this al sounds very easy but when in the throws of a full blown panic attack it is too difficult to concentrate on that stuff i know. i try not to let myself get to that stage and only let my anxiety get to a level 8 out of 10 before i admit defeat. its awful but if we want any quality of life then we have to try our hardest to keep going.
i've been a bit better at work today, had a class on my own all afternoon then been to a sports meeting straight from work which made my anxiety go up but i'm determind not to say no to things unless i can't really cope at all. keep facing it is the only way. if i could just stop the anticipatory anxiety i think i could be in with a fighting chance. hope everyone else is doing ok. last one tomorrow for work then i've got to go to a 21st on saturday which im really dreading. well i'm dreading being stuck there. take care everyone and have a lovely weekend. lets all try to do at least one thing we fear or find difficult a week, no matter how small its a baby step in the right direction. GOOD LUCK!!!!
ju xx
Hi Everyone
Hope you have all had a good day. I have managed to have another fair one myself. Woooohooo 4 in a row now!!! :D
Julie have you tried guided relaxation, it takes a bit of practice but it really is worth it. I won't go into the details but my Psychiatrist and therapist had advised me to pratice this not only now but for the rest of my life not only as part of the cure but also the prevention of relapse.
Keep up the good work everyone.... we WILL get there, (where ever there is...lol)
Bye for now
Sue :bighug1:
sb001f8994
18-09-09, 08:39
Hi everyone,
Had another good day yesterday. My silly dog got out and I had to chase after him up the road, then he'd pooped and I had to come home get a bag and go clean up his mess, all without realising I was out of my comfort zone...so well done Jake for making me do more!
My parents visited and we'd got loads of Christmas pressies so I got right excited looking through everything...I love Christmas, Im still a child at heart!
Im looking forward to a nice but hectic weekend, my grandchildren are coming to stay and havoc is promised! So hope everyone has a great weekend, Julie enjoy the 21st and Sue we will get there eventually!
Take care,
Carol
sandramick
18-09-09, 09:34
hi all
fingers crossed computer seems to have recovered :yesyes:
everyone is doing so well :roflmao: its lovely to read all your sucesses they may seem small to normal people but i no how big they are so well done all keep up the good work :yesyes: .
i have to do dinner time shift and then tonight which is making me really nervous ,silly at lunch people come in sit and eat which is ok but at night they stand round the bar an talk ,it so scarey feel really trapped but will be on my own so cant run . only doing it as a` fa`vor wish id never agreed . will take all of u with me and think how brave everyone else is .. if u can do itso can i :blush:
hugs to all
sandra
xxxxxxxxx
:bighug1:
sb001f8994
18-09-09, 10:29
Hiya Sandra,
Good luck tonight, you will do it! Sometimes its lack of confindence in ourselves that is our downfall. When I think about doing things my first thought is 'I cant do that' but like yesterday when I had to get the dog in I just did it! If only we could learn to stop worry hours before the event we wouldnt feel so bad.
Have a good weekend, take care.
Carol xx
Well done Carol, give Jake a hug :hugs: from me!!!
I have not had my Grandchildren over to stay for 3 months now, just feel asthough i cant cope with them at the moment :weep: . Still better than when i was first unwell, just the thought of them popping round with their parents was enough to send me into panic. :scared15:
I will be thinking of you this evening Sandra, maybe at times you are not busy try to distract yourself, concentrate on your breathing or maybe try counting things etc. Anyway good luck. :hugs:
I am feeling uncertain too about tonight, my husband usually goes out for a drink with his friend on Friday's only for about 3 hours but as i have not wanted to be on my own for the last three months he had not gone out, well only one Friday about 6 weeks ago. I felt quite anxious when he had gone so got into bed fairly early and coped by distracting myself. The next day though i felt quite anxious, so he hasn't gone out on Fridays since.
Now, tonight is in my own hands, I have been improving over the last 2 - 3 weeks, but i am not there yet. I know if i ask him he will stay with me, but do i say go or stay pleeeeeease...lol. A dilema!!!!
Again good old anticipation is doing its thing :mad: .
Anyway, i will catch up with you all later. Have a good day and evening everyone.
Take care
Sue xxx
Hi Everyone. I have to admit that sometimes I feel astonished myself at how we can overlook some of our major achievements and then focus only on those things that we failed on. I felt this especially when I was reading your last post Sandra. Do you realize how courageous and successful you really are! You are working in a pub. A closed room, full of people, and since it is work you can't run away. That is scarier than almost any of the other things we have to face--and you are doing it!!! All of us who are going to work need to take a moment to pat ourselves on the back and then take another moment to think about the fact that if we can make it through work without dying, then there is nothing else that we should face with fear. It's truly silly that I can face 8 hours at the office but if I have to go out to dinner it seems impossible.
sb001f8994
18-09-09, 15:14
Hiya!
Kabuki I work from home and I suppose it defeats the object really but if I didnt do that I would go stare crazy. I like to keep busy! I think you are so right we tend to dwell on the negatives and there's always the 'what ifs'. I find myself questioning everything I do, I dont just do it!
I think I need a star chart, you know everytime I go out give myself a star and five stars in a row a gold star and then five gold stars a treat!!! Wonder if this would work?
Hope you have a good weekend.
Carol
Alabasterlyn
18-09-09, 16:57
Hi everyone, sorry I didn't post yesterday but I wasn't feeling too good. Had some weird pains in my abdomen and managed to convince myself I had appendicitis, even though I have already had it, but I made the stupid mistake of Googling and found out you can have it twice :scared15:
Today even though the pain has gone I have felt really anxious all day long even though I haven't even been anywhere or tried to go anywhere :ohmy:
Sandra, I think you do amazingly well to work outside the home. I once worked in a pub when I was in my late teens and I used to get so flustered that I would come out in a rash! Hope it goes well for you this evening :)
Sue, I can really relate to how you feel about having your grandchildren stay over as it can be extremely exhausting and children are very full on aren't they. I see my granddaughter twice a week usually, both times for about 2/3 hrs and I really feel totally worn out once they have gone and there are times I just feel it's all too much and I get myself all anxious.
Hi Everyone
Sorry you have had a bad day or two Lyn. :hugs:
Yep Grandchildren are exhausting, the thing is I have always had them all stay since they were born ( all 8 of them ). They used to stay every weekend but about 5 years ago we started to have them every other week.
Being here for at least one night at the weekend has always been part of their lives, so at the moment they are missing this visit so much, and keep asking when and why etc.
My son and his wife don't visit with their kids (6 of the little cherubs) so if I don't have them to stay i don't really see them very much at all. I see lots of my daughters two as she just lives a few doors along from me.
I have explained ...well sort of ... to the kids why the haven't been to stay for the last 3 months, but I still feel guilty i guess, that i just can't face having them to stay for the moment. Sorry gone on a bit here :blush: .
Anyway as per my previous post my husband is going out tonight. At the moment i feel okay with this. A bit anxious but nothing too much.
Like the star chart idea Carol :yesyes: .
Take care everyone
Chat soon
Sue:bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:
sb001f8994
18-09-09, 20:43
Hi Sue,
Im alone tonight too, well almost! Hubbys gone to pub and Amy (daughter) is in her room on laptop and only comes out for food and water!
Im looking forward to my grandchildren coming but it is tiring, Lauryn is eight, Kyle is four and Deacon is three months. Im not good with babies though, they scare me to bits...you wouldnt think Ive had three! Last time Deacon stayed over night I lay awake most of the night listening to him breathing. Yes it can be a very anxious time but I find keeping them amused distracts me which is good.
I hope you are doing ok being on your own, this is a big step for you so well done.
Have a good weekend and take care.
Carol
Hi Carol
I did okay thank you, being on my own last night. I didn't do much, i was mainly on facebook chatting with the grandchildren, so kind of used distraction. I was definatly less anxious than last time John went out for the evening.
He is hoping to go to football this afternoon. I am sooooo lucky though as John is brilliant , if I feel real anxious about him going out he will always stay with me. Just knowing that helps!! Weird isn't it.
Anyway enjoy your grandchildren.
Have fun. :emot-dance:
Sue xxxx
Alabasterlyn
19-09-09, 12:30
Hi everyone, well today I feel much better even though I didn't sleep very well, so that is good :D
Sue, gosh 8 grandchildren, I really could not cope with that many, not even without anxiety! I find having one is enough for me right now lol!
We don't have our granddaughter to stay that often, I guess since she was born 2yrs ago she has stayed here about 10 times, which isn't that often over that period of time.
Glad that you found Facebook a good distraction last night, I find it very distracting too and it's my second home :ohmy:
Carol, I can understand how you feel about new babies, they are very fragile aren't they. When they are your own babies it's totally different. I am much more careful about everything with my granddaughter than I was with my own child :blush:
I am still debating whether to go out tonight, it's not much fun being indecisive :ohmy:
sb001f8994
19-09-09, 13:01
Hi Everyone,
Hope you are all enjoying the weekend. Glad you got through last night Sue and John sounds brilliant. Shaun (hubby) didnt used to want to know but I have to say now he is great and it is so much easier with an understanding partner. And Lyn good to hear you are well despite having little sleep. Yes Lyn someone elses child is so different from your own, as much as I cant wait for the kids to come I will constantly worry about Deacon and probably spend the night watching him breath again!
Im on facebook too but still havent got the hang of it! My son and daughter love it but at the moment Im only just learning.
I would go out tonight Lyn, I would if I could!
Take care.
Carol x
hello ladies ,,ive just been away for a week in yarmouth,,and im so pleased with my self,,,before i went i was wall to wall panic and anx attacks,,very stressed near to tears every hour on the hour,,yet ive not cried in years,,,i was quite honestly a wreck,,couldnt go anywhere,,but after the first half hour in the car,,i was as layed back as you get nose-ing all around me,,i can honestly say i thoughly enjoyedthe drive ,,,i slept like a log,,from night one,,when normally im so stressed if i manage three hours ive done well,,we ate out twice and although i was anxious i wasnt in full panic mode,,even enjoyed the massive icecream my friends brought us,,and it would be rude not to eat lol,,we had a pretty little chalet ,,it was quiet,,no-one else there,,did me the world of good,,i stayed in the chalet on the last day while hubby went out with friends and normally being in a strange place,,strange surroundings id freak,,but apart from about15 minutes,,i enjoyed the quiet,,so all in all the trip was a success,,didnt walk out on my own,,but what i did manage surprised even hubby:roflmao:
hello carol,,my names theresa,,we have something in common you have a lamp post i have a corner,,im fine till i get to the blooming corner, i just cant get myself passed it,,,if i do its just steps,,,the dogs look at me as if to say why we not going on ,its just so frustrating,,when i have no probs in the car,,keep at it carol and i will try to get round that blooming corner x
Alabasterlyn
19-09-09, 16:49
Hi Teez, wow you did so well on your holiday, you must be so pleased that after all the anxiety you felt beforehand that you actually went and also had a good time :)
There is something in the Claire Weekes books about agoraphobics being able to go away on holiday and feeling fine, but at home they find the simplest of tasks impossible and she put it down to the memory of things at home. I guess when you are on holiday it's all new and you have no negative memories of panic attacks to make you feel anxious. However it's the getting there in the first place that is hard for so many of us with agora, I daren't even try to go away!
I also have landmarks that I can't get past. If I go left out of my house it's the bus stop. I can just about get there, but anything past it and I can feel my anxiety increase. I am the same if I turn right, okay till I get to the corner but once I go around the corner I can't see my house and the anxiety starts to creep up again. It's almost like I am attached to my house by an elastic band and the further away I go the more it is pulling me back :ohmy:
welcome to my world im exactly the same,,,soon as the house is outta view while im walking i go into full panic,,,yet im fine in the car,,,it makes no sense `at all ,,,even i dont understand it,,,its as if i cant physically do it myself,,but i aim to try now,,,im bored of relying on others to go out,,i had thought of one of those disabled cars,,as ive limited walking,,anyway,, to see if this way i could manage further on my own,,
Alabasterlyn
19-09-09, 17:48
Hi Teez, yep it's not much fun is it :mad:
I just walked around to the post box and took my partner and dog with me too as I wasn't sure if I could make it on my own.
When I got back I remembered something that has bothered me for years and wondered if anyone else gets this. I have a real problem with the kind of light that I am walking in, which I know sounds kinda weird. Like today for example it's kind of dull and warm outside and that kind of 'nothing' weather really makes my anxiety worse. I feel that everything is flat and has lost it's dimension and nothing shakes that off. When the weather is bright I find it easier as things look more real, also if it's raining or very windy or anything that is kind of a distraction.
I am just the same in supermarkets. I never used to realise how the lighting changes in different parts of supermarkets. The chilled and freezer aisles are lit very white and I am fine there, but when I go from there to a normal aisle I am immediately aware of the light being more yellow and even though I know it's the lights that are different and not my perception of them I always, always get myself all worked up and anxious and start to walk out the shop.
Hi everyone, hope you are all doing fine
Lyn, I have noticed change in light affects me too. In the car driving along in the sunshine followed by driving through an area where the branches of the trees cover the road or even when i have walk through a woodland the light and temperature changes gives me an anxious feeling.
I personally think the change of light "reminds" me of one of the symtoms i experience with anxiety. Apparently the fight or flight response alters the vision to enable us to be more alert visually when in danger.
Also sometimes when something makes me suddenly panicky I go cold, so i also think a swift drop in air temperature "reminds" me, on some subconcious level, of anxiety and i believe (without realising) i misinterpret this as "I am anxious" and then of before I know it I am!!! :scared15:
So thats my theory...lol.
Well done with the holiday Teez brilliant:yesyes:
Take care all
Chat soon
Suexxx
how odd i just discovered this the other week,,im fine in our sainsburys which has changed its lighting,,aldis i can wander round with no worries at all,,,but our local asda drives me to distraction,,i have a real battle on my hands,,from the moment i go in,,i used to find tinted glasses a help ,,but not any more,,as if i have to take them off ,,,i can become uptight because the sudden light change,,,any one else find the annoucements a bother too,,,
It's actually a relief to hear that I'm not the only one with the light problem. It is something that I am extremely sensitive to.
It seem to me that lots of gold stars need to go around after this weekend:yesyes: what with people going out and on holiday and all!
This weekend has been pretty bad for me. Yesterday i changed my meds and I they totally knocked me out. I was in bed all day completely drugged feeling, just couldn't wake up. Then today I tried adjusting the meds on my own (without talking to the doctor) and have been an anxious mess for hours now. My vision is strange and I've had every gastric problem in the book
Alabasterlyn
20-09-09, 18:37
Teez, I have always found the lighting in Asda to be unbearable too, so I never bother going there now. We have a gorgeous Waitrose in the next town to us and it's very quiet, has lighting that doesn't seem to change within the store and also has a pretty view over the town as it's built on top of a tube station car park, you can also park right outside the doors which is handy when you have agora like us :D
Kabuki, I hope you start to feel better soon. Sounds like an absolutely awful weekend for you. Which med did you take that made you feel so bad?
I went out last night after a bit of persuasion and had an okay time. However I ended up standing up for over 4hrs in very high heels and my feet were killing me by the time I left. I then had to drive a car full of legless men home and managed to kerb one of the alloys on my partners car, so he isn't a happy bunny today and to top it all I have spent all of today feeling like I have a hangover when I don't even drink alcohol :ohmy:
sb001f8994
20-09-09, 19:49
Hi everyone,
I have a prob with lighting too but the oposite to you! I like more subdued light in stores and the brighter parts Im not too fussed on. I think its just the difference in the lighting, going from dull to light that perhaps startles me and I dont like it. It's the same when I used to go under the Mersey tunnel, I hated going into the light at the end of the tunnel. But I do enjoy a sunny day and I feel less anxious than on a miserable day.
Ive had a very hectic weekend with my grandchildrren and Im happy they've now gone home, early night for me I think!
Take care and enjoy what is left of the weekend.
Carol x
hello everyone,,thanks firstly for your posts they are such a help for me,,,i now quote you all in my head ,,as a fear crops up,,you know like oh yes julies said about that or sue has,,and i find its working ,,i walked round the local pc world and wow the lights awful,,but where as a few weeks ago i walked out within five minutes today i made myself stay put,,,even walked off on my own made myself do a walk right round on my own,,,no trusty shopping trolley, to hold me up,,,i also did the same in matalan,,without hubby ,,unheard of ladies,,walked round tesco and aldi too today for good measure, who knows what i,ll get up to next,,,,:roflmao:
thats brilliant teez!! the key is definitely to keep doing it and to keep talking to yourself when those thoughts pop into your head. i've not been putting as much effort in this week and it soon slides backwards so starting tomorrow i'm on the case again!!! so watch out anxiety!!!! lol. hope everyone managed to achieve their goals this weekend. i went to the 21st party and survived. i actually enjoyed it but had a few anxious moments, not as many as i thought i'd have so thats positive. keep up the good work ladies and i'll post again tomorrow. i think i'm going to start setting myself a few goals and then let you all know if i achieve them. might make me try harder if i've got to put my results on here!!
take care everyone
Hi All
Kabuki, sorry you have had a bad weekend. That drugged feeling is unpleasant, alway seems to make my anxiety go through the roof too.
Hopefully it won't take too long to adjust to the meds. :hugs:
Well done going out Lyn, How's the feet now???? :yesyes:
Sound like you had a real busy weekend Carol. Like you, I love having my grandchildren over (well, usually) but when they go home me and hubbie have a glass of wine, sit on the sofa and don't move for the rest of the evening...and when we do, boy do we ache...lol :emot-sleepyhead:
Teez, what a weekend :yesyes: really great what you have achieved, keep us posted on your next adventure.
Hi Julie, I too find events often aren't as bad as I expect. We surprise ourselves every now and then at just how well we do cope. Trouble is we only seem to remeber the times that we don't cope too well. I think thats part of the problem. Heres to remebering the positive. Look forward to reading about your future goals.:emot-highfive:
Well I have had a good day. Our friends popped over with their baby grandson. When they rang to say they were coming over my initial thought was "what if i can't cope" but I managed some positive self talk and when they arrived i was fine, topped up by lots of cuddles of baby Sam. :D
Then my daughter, husband and 2 kids visited for 4 hours. When they left i realised that I hadn't even thought about my depression/anxiety etc, that is definately a move in the right direction. :yesyes:
Any way keep posting ladies together we will beat "IT".
Take care
Sue xx :grouphug:
sandramick
21-09-09, 09:16
wow everyone doing so well :yesyes:
i struggled a bit working on friday night but i did get through it ,had a lazy weekend :blush: ,
i dont no if it change of seasons , hormones or anything else i can blame it on :lac: but my head seems to be in a bad place at min
i am carrying on and trying to keep things "normal " but god it seems hardwork .
i wont let it floor me again i had nearly won once but oh to stay home an not go any where is very tempting ,
school run this morning was night mare , felt dizzy an light headed !!! at least no work today
:D .
sorry all just one of those moaning days !! will pull myself together now ive bored u with it
:roflmao:
keep up the good work all enjoying all your sucesses
love
sandra
xxxxxxxxxx
:bighug1:
Hi Sandy, don't get down about a bad day. The bad days are good to have so you have something to measure the good days against. :yesyes: This weekend was bad because I wanted to change off the Anafranil that I am on since it is making me fat and I have no sex drive (not good for a newlywed) so the doc tried to put me on Prozac. I don't know if it's the mix of the two drugs that didn't do me good, but I don't want the Prozac anymore. I can't be fighting side effects like that now. I already have had serious problems at work which were a direct result of my anxiety and I can't start taking sick days. I'll go back to the docs and see about an alternative. Anyhow, the moral of the story is, that compared to how yucky I felt yesterday, today seems great, so having a bad day had its benefits:roflmao:
Anxious_gal
21-09-09, 15:31
Ok thats it I have gotten ready I'm going to go to town and buy that dress I want! anxiety is not going to kill me. I will not pass out. I may feel scared and alone but that won't physically hurt me either!
I'm just gonna get angry at my agoraphobia and go!
(I'm still really nervous and shaky though!)
mishel hun dont get angry get even lol,,,angers a powerful emotion,,and sets you up to have a bad experience while out,,just say your gonna do this,,and your not the only one,,,as i said yesterday,,i just go through all thats been posted on here,,if and when i need it,,today when i first went out the front door i felt sick and dizzy,,and ive read how many of you feel the same so i now say to myself ok,,im allowed ,because others feel this too ,,its not life threatening,,and it seems to give me the courage ,,once of allowed these feelings ,,,prob just acceptance as the good dr weekes says,today im battling a kidney infection,,and wheezy chest,,but still made myself go out , and walked the whole way round the dreaded foe,,asda,,even lost site of hubby, and walked a whole isle trolleyless,,heaven to betsy whats got over me lol, hubbys doing his nut as im doing daily shops now instead of once a week,,but i figure the more exposure to my fears the better,,doctors tomorrow,,i even phoned for myself,,battled my phone phobia to do so,,i,ll let you know how i survive,,im terrified of doctors :roflmao:
Hi all
Teez, you really are on a role. Great stuff. I agree with you about "anger" . I really do not like the sensations of this emotion. If i do get angry i usually end up anxious about it......can't win!!!
Glad you are having a better day Kabuki. Hopefully tomorrow will be even better.
How did you get on Mishel, did you get the dress? Look forward to hearing how you did.
Sorry you haven't had a good day Sandra, I relate to the temptation of staying in it would be soooooo easy sometimes. Hopefully the rest of your day was better for you. :hugs:
I have had a good day also. Went to visit my grandchildren this afternoon, (6 of them anyway). Stayed for over an hour and was fine. Could probably of stay longer. So i topped up on the kisses, cuddles and fun that i have missed out on over the last 3 months. :yesyes:
So good hearing how you are all doing, keep up the good work.
Take care
Sue xx
sb001f8994
21-09-09, 20:34
Hi everyone,
You are all doing so well! I have to admit that apart from taking/chasing the dog around our close I havent been out in the car. I have however been feeling good (apart from the odd palpataion today but I told them to piddle off!). I had lots of visitors and didnt feel one bit anxious, really relaxed infact, which was a nice change.
I hope you bought that dress Mishel and I hope Sandra is feeling brighter,a good moan makes you feel better! Kabuki I was on anafranil many years ago and found it great but came off it when I was pregnant, I did however have a bad time coming off valium. I havent taken meds now for about 20 years. I hope it wont be long before you are sorted. Welldone teez and good luck at the doctors tomorrow.
Good night all, sweet dreams.
Carol x
sb001f8994
21-09-09, 20:39
Hi Sue,
We must have been posting together! Well done for visitng your grandchildren, they are such a blessing arent they? It's nice to get all those kisses and cuddles! I was really happy to have mine over for the weekend but it was bliss after they'd gone, you forget how you coped when you were younger, but thats probably the key...being younger!
Glad you had a good day,
Night,
Carol x
Hi girls,
you really are doing so well i'm realy proud of us all!!!!! I think you are so brave mishel for going into town, hope you got a lovely dress as a treat. Sandra how you feeling? i think sometimes we do get a bit depressed with it but i'm not having it so come on you can do it!!! hormones definitely play a big part especialy when you get to a certain age ( like me!) Teez i can't believe how brave you have been in asda, well done. asda is a personal nightmare of mine as our asda is huge and i can't make it to be bread as its right at the back lol. sue youre doing a great job of keeping everyone cheered up, its lovely reading your posts. i've got 2 grandchildren too, Olivia who is almost 6 months and Amber-Lily who is 6 weeks old. I love them to bits. I did something quite brave today, it will sound rubbish to everyone but it was massive to me. We have the use of the gym at the high school but normally I will only go if theres another member of staff with me as its quite a distance from our school. well today i took a group of students there by myself!!! Didnt stay too long but i still managed it! small steps but in the right direction. And this Friday I am going on a P.E course with another member of staff that i actually volunteered for. unheard of up until now. not sure how i will be when i'm there though and also the journey in the car but i am bloody well going to try! I've also agreed to take the students swimming on thursday but only if i can go in car. i cant stand going on the school bus with the other staff. its the being stuck there i cant handle, i need to know i can get away and i'm not trapped there if i feel anxious. i will still feel anxious anyway but not as much. Right girls keep up the good work. we are doing great!!!! when we get really brave we will try to have a meet up. OMG!!!!! lol
sandramick
22-09-09, 16:07
hi all :flowers:
i trying hard today felt little dizzy at work but instead of getting upset i got angry !! so when i finished i made myself go into town treated my self to new top and hand bag ! so there anxiety u wont beat me :mad: .
well done to you all we all achieving our own little goals and doesnt it feel good to share them .
take care all
love
sandra
xxxxxx
:bighug1:
Mishel and Sandy, your shopping experiences are making me wonder if shopping therapy isn't the solution to agoraphobia:roflmao:
Well done to all of you who are out there challenging their anxiety. Julieb, your progress is amazing. It certainly doesnt sound like rubbish to me. Let's keep inspiring eachother.
Today I was dizzy at work and felt like I my system was on speed. It is like my body is on overdrive, then in the afternoon I was so tired I didn't know how I was going to keep my eyes open. I think I must have thought about going home at least a dozen times, but each time I told myself that it was only anxiety and that no matter how bad I felt, it was only feelings with no meaning. Not a sign of some impending illness or passing out. Anyhow, I made it through the whole day and I'm just fine.:roflmao:
Hi everyone. well it looks like another positive day. sandra thats absolutely fantastic. i wouldnt dare go into town myself to go shopping! Kabuki you did really well to not let the anxiety rise, its really hard not to when we get physical symptoms. i only have to feel a bit hot and it sends my anxiety levels up a notch. i think we are so used to looking for any small change that might be anxiety that we are over sensitive to heat, light or small everyday things like dizziness that other people wouldnt give a second thought to. thats a huge positive step if you are now telling yourself to ignore it and carrying on so a huge pat on the back. hope all you other girls are ok today. i've not really had anything major to report today except that i did let my partner leave me in the house on my own while he took the dog accross the field opposite our house. i usually have massive panic attacks if he goes out even into the garden and i cant just see were he is but i was ok tonight. keep up the good work and make sure you keep posting whether its to show off or for a bit of moral support. lets keep helping each other to beat this!!!!
well i did it ladies,,i didnt even have an attack of the shakes going into the doctors,,,even crossed th road to his surgery on my own,,its a main road ,and ive a thing about roads,,dont have a clue why,,but i crossed , walked into the surgery on my own,. hubby was trying to give someone directions,,not very successfully bless,,,:D, . i went in on my own, had my bp done which always makes my heart missbeat,,but nope all good even got a perfect reading ladies 120/77 never not in four years had that,,lol ive been on meds for high bp,, well he cornered me for a sample arghhhhhh his loo,s tiny, but it was ok,,i was fine,,then he told me while i was there i was having my flu jab,,ive always avoided this,,but again i was fine,,ive had a rage-ing temp since but ive kept to my daily routine asda, s right to end of shop,,ive walked my dogs all three , three times lol tomorrows gonna be the hard part,,dont know if any of you know but i had breast cancer four years ago,,nd while we were away i found a lump and ive had a rash,,,well ive gotta go to the hospital tomorrow ,,to show them the rash and request a mammo,, to say im scared putting it mildly,,but with yous lot in my mind i will do it,,another adventure to tell you about,,hubbys working all night ,,which worrys me anytime but alone with my thoughts is going to be hard,,but i know this too will have to be concured,,i ,ll let you know keep up the good work all,,and look forward to your posts :hugs:
You did so well teez, managing all those things by yourself!:yesyes: I used to walk every day for 2 miles alone, but now I just can't do it. I feel like I will collapse. Going to the shop I manage but it is only 5mins. walk from my home and even then I feel dizzy and faint the whole time I'm out.
Good luck at the doctors tomorrow. I hope all goes well for you.
Judy.xx
Hi Girls - looking good
Carol i hope your palps piddled off. I suffered with these years ago not nice. Glad you enjoyed your visitors much more pleasant that sitting there feeling anxious and panicky.
Julie, you have been really brave, students to the gym alone, PE course and students swimming you are doing great. I can appreciate the being stuck feeling, i am supposed to go to a business functions with hubby in 3 weeks, but i decided today that i am not going to go. We have to travel to London in a minibus with other staff memeber and return when the last person is ready to leave....ooooooh stuuuucccckkk!!! :scared15:
Well done Sandra, love the "retail therapy". My hubby wasn't too happy though when the therapist I was seeing suggested that in order to overcome my fear of shopping alone i make a weekly trip to our local mall for an hour and treat myself to something each time to keep me motivated. Yeeesss!
Sounds asthough you have had a good result with your "coping self talk" Kabuki. It is good to see the therapy working isn't it. Gives us hope.
And Teez, well, I am going to rename you to "Teez the Conquerer" as nothing is going to stand in your way is it!!! Good luck tomorrow, thinking of you.
:bighug1:
I had a good day, stayed on my own at home for a while this morning, went to work and then went with Hubby to stock up on work supplies at Costco
(Huge cash and carry). Thought i would get the "want to escape" or "can't cope with this" feelings but i didn't and i was fine. :yesyes:
Good to read all of your posts, keep up the good work (as exhaustin as it is)
Take care
Sue xxx:bighug1:
sb001f8994
23-09-09, 08:41
Hello everyone,
Teez well done, you are doing brillaintly as are you all. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and eagily awaiting your next post. Knowing we are all going through similar experiences helps and spurs you on. Thank you and please keep posting as I find it a great help.
Im affraid I havent done much lately, I have however been taking/chasing my dog around our close. For me this is good as Im not good at walking and I am doing it alone. And I cant seem to push myself further than the first aisle of Somerfield. But I read all your posts and feel perhaps I should just go that extra few feet, those few feet seem like miles!
Yes Sue the palps did indeed piddle off. Since not letting them ruin my day they subside pretty quickly, still scarey but not anything like it used to be.
Please keep posting ladies, take care.
Carol xx
sandramick
23-09-09, 09:26
good morning all :flowers:
teez you are so brave i hope everything goesok at docs .
sue cash an carry wow u say work what do u do ?
carol dont think u havent done much even going out of the door with dog is an achievement think possitive :yahoo:
same goes for judy 5 mins can feel like hours for us so well done for getting out .
ju u are doing so well mini buses and gyms full of kids omg never :ohmy: poor hubby will feel un needed soon :) .
my day not feeling too bad so far so fingers crossed
have a good day all
love
sandra
xxxxxx
:bighug1:
Hi Ladies, speaking of which, it makes me wonder if men suffer from agorophobia. Have known lots of men with Panic Attack and GAD but not agoro. Any idea what the statistics are?
Teez, the best of luck and keep up with the good work. Doc appointments can be scary and anxious even for normal people so you are doing super well.
Carol, don't be down on yourself. You are making progress and doing a bit at a time. Going out with the dog is already an achievement and you will slowly build up on that.
Sue I'm impressed with CostCo. Even though my Agoro is not as bad as it used to be, something about CostCo always puts me on edge. Maybe its the lighting?!
Sandy, I'm glad that you're feeling good today. If the dizzys come back you just kick them out. Remember that if you ignore them, they'll go away and they're not dangerous anyhow.
So far so good for me today as well. I think the fact that the sun is out and that there isn't any low pressure makes all the difference:D
Anxious_gal
23-09-09, 15:17
hey hope everyone's doing well.
I must read through all the posts properly when i have time.
I did try going to the shop yesterday! well i ended up not going.
I'm about to go right now though :-)
I find it strange how one day can be good and another feels like you back to square one.
all i know is you just keep on trying and never give up, because as long as you try your best that's all that counts :-)
sb001f8994
23-09-09, 15:57
Well said Mishel! Never give up. There are some days I dont do as well as others but I still keep trying and I dont beat myself up for not getting as far as I wanted. I know that I will do it again and get further with time, effort and a little patience. Hope you get to the shop, let us know!
Carol
Anxious_gal
23-09-09, 16:26
So I went to the shop. Everything was going grand. Until on my way home I met a guy with a leaf blower! The noise from it set off my anxiety lol. Then he was like right behind me. He was obviously doing community service work, as he was just aimlessly blowing leaves around and being downright rude towards other people, I was a few feet away from him!
Anyways he went off on his merry way, my anxiety had gotten high, but hey I was almost home, but then I encountered flipping helicopter. A rescue one to be precise, was right above my head and to be honest it was flying unusually low, I could even feel the wind from it! Now I have seen a good few helicopters in my day!
So that was it I started hyperventilating, drinking lots of water from my water bottle but by then I was only across the road from my house!
To be honest it was quite amusing by the time I got inside. The helicopters right above my house now! What ever it’s doing flying so low I don’t know but I know its not just me wondering as all the neighbors are peeking out their windows and doors!
sb001f8994
23-09-09, 16:37
Mishel, perhaps the helicopter thought you needed rescueing!!! You did really good, well done.
I dont like low flying planes, they make me go all weird! As well as lighting affecting us perhaps sounds do too?
Good work Mishel, Carol x
Good work and good job at laughing at ourselves as well. If we stop taking the anxiety so seriously it will stop being as serious!
I am at my wits end, im a single parent and have a son whos agoraphobic, this has been going on since he was 13 and hes 21 now:( He does'nt even leave the house except with myself for appointments ect. then it is via a taxi which is becoming very expensive. My son recently went onto benefits and had a medical and only gained 9 points, how can people put a points system on agraphobia. He gets dla but what is £17.00 a week to live on. The last time he was on a benefit he had an assesment and failed again and it went to appeal. We gave up after it went to London because things were getting worse.He does'nt want to live off a non working single parent, how are they supposed to get any life if the system keep letting them down.I just hope that my son does not snowball backward because i am trying to do everything as a mother would, Ive just been diagnosed being ill and im getting so tired recently and this situation is just running me down.
thankyou for reading this post:hugs:
dont know quite what to tell you dawn,,,as i lived on the lowest dla for ages, now i get the middle rate as ive two major illness,s, but i had to really fight for it,,,is your son seeing anyone for his aggie,,maybe they can help,,and have you tried D,I,A,L. they helped me fill in the forms so i get what i do now,,their very good.why dont you get your son on here,,being the only chap,,he,ll have us ladies to sort him out,,lol when need some men in our club,,,its been a real help to me,sorry i cant help more hun,,but we are here for you too, if you need us xxx
before i get onto my adventure for today can i pat all of us on the back,,i think we,re all blooming marvelous,,dont yous,,im so proud of us all:hugs:, well now to my adventure,,i went to the hospital,went in onmy own,,,as hubby parked the car,,as i was a bit shakey,,it wasnt easy but i did it,,booked in,,even went in to see ,,dr pratt on my own,,,and yes that is his name,,his almost certain the lumps not cancer returned but i need a mamo to be sure,,i came out of there to tell hubby i was on cloud nine,,still a little doubt but happier,,,we then got my blood test done ,,its three by now no food or drink,,but i was fine even though we had usual drama of finding my veins,,so i was covered in plaster,,looks on other peoples faces was a picture lol,,well guess what i went and did a whole weeks shop in asda,s and even walked unaided by the trolley,,,im so impressed , ive brought me a huge bar of galaxy to celibrate,,,but this is all down to you ladies support,,lets all keep up the hard work,,and who knows :D
hi everyone, wow teez thats brilliant news and im so pleased that this thread is doing what i intended and helping each other. where do we all live? i dont mind if anyone wants to get in touch with me for a chat or email? let me know and i will send details via a private message. swimming tomorrow for me. wish me luck!!!!! im so proud of all of us no matter how big or small the steps are they are all in the right direction and if we do have a setback like we do then we are here to support each other xxxx
im in essex julie,,,and also dont have a prob with being contacted,,we will have to work this out so we can safely exchange adds with all who want too,,
Hi everyone
All sounds pretty positive :yesyes:
You are doing great Carol, going out alone is a big deal. With the supermarket, next time you go in take one extra step for each of the girls in our ever expanding club and don't forget to take one for yourself...lol.
Sandra, I work with my husband in our own business. We are Freight Forwarders, warehousing, transport and export packers. I work in the office doing accounts, wages and general office stuff. So it is quite easy for me to work, especially as the office is literally 5 mins in the car. Also we have been in the same premises for the last 24 years, most of the staff have been with us for years so it is home from home for me. Which really doesn't encourage me to challenge myself to any great degree.
Hope your day carried on a positively as it started.
Judy it is good that you go to the shop even if it is only 5 mins away. I am okay driving to the shops, but walking there i would invariably get anxious, so i do tend to avoid it. So well done.
Glad you have had a good day too Kabuki. Strange you should say about the "low atmospheric pressure" my husband has always said that i am more edgy when there is a storm brewing.
Mishel well done on your eventful trip to the shop. You coped with all that was thrown at you. I can understand the noise thing as i used to get panicky if a police car or ambulance went through the high street with its sirens going.
I was 13 when i developed agoraphobia Dawn, it was soooo frustrating at that tender age. As all my friends were out doing what young people do and i was stuck at home wishing i could join them. Has your son had any counselling or therapy. CBT is a very good treatment.
Teez you are going from strength to strength. The news from the hospital sounds very positive...enjoy your galaxy, you deserve it.
I agree Julie, this thread is a great help and a huge source of support for us all. I am always eager to get my daily fix.
I have had another good day. Saw the therapist today and i am starting to work through a CBT self help book with him. He has given me some home work!!! I did have CBT 13 years ago but to be honest during the years that i was so well i kind of forgot a lot of it (okay it's my age). So i will keep you posted.
Heres to all of our little steps forward.
Well done everyone.
Take care.
Sue. :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:
sb001f8994
23-09-09, 22:31
Good evening ladies,
Well done Teez! This is so inspirational for us all. Ive been thinking alot today about how good it is to hear these success stories and find myself feeling stronger and more willing to take a risk. Just hope I feel as strong tomorrow when I walk out of the door.
Julie good luck with swimming tomorrow, I miss swimming. We have just had an olympic size pool opened here and one day I would love to get there. Im in Liverpool and would love to email, text or chat to any of you if you wish.
Well off to bed now, sleep well everyone.
Night, night,
Carol x
Hi Ju
I am in Essex also. I don't mind being contacted by anyone who would like to chat/email.
Night Night
Sue xxxxxx
anxious elephant999
24-09-09, 10:20
Hi my name is steph and i am agrophobic due to dizziness all the time and the panic i get from the dizziness , i cant go out and i cant be left alone and i am very depressed because i cant live a normal life , its affecting my husband and 10 year old daughter too as i wont let them go anywhere ither coz i only feel safe with them , well i wouldnt say safe just a little bit safer than being on my own ,im 39 years old and feel usless as a mother and wife
sb001f8994
24-09-09, 10:48
Hi anxious elephant,
Ive been agoraphobic off and on since I was 16 and Im now 47. It was very hard to begin with but Ive adapted to it. Ive not always been housebound and had years of living a near normal life but the last eight years has been a battle. You shouldnt feel ueless as a mother and wife though with their help and support you can beat this. It seems very difficult at times and I have to admit that Ive let it beat me on numerous ocassions but Im fighting now and know it could take a long time but I want a better qualilty of life and want to live rather than exist. My daughter has missed out on so much. She has had holidays abroad with her dad every year and has never missed out on parties and has had a pretty normal life but in her 16 years Ive never been on holiday with her and I too feel useless as all I can offer her is my love and she is such a good girl that I am blessed to have her.
You only have to read the posts here to realise you too can beat this. Im sorry you don't like being alone, I know from reading posts here that this is a common problem for alot of anxious people but I dont mind being alone. How do you manage when your daughter is at school and your hubby is at work? Are you on any meds? Please keep in touch as sometimes its easier to let let off steam to people going through the same as you.
Take care,
Carol x
anxious elephant999
24-09-09, 12:35
Hi carol my husband had to give up work last year to be with me as i was so bad and i still am and the thought of being alone with this dizziness freaks me out , so when hubbie goes to pick up daughter from school my poor mother and father who are both 65 and have bad backs and bad hips ,well they drive 4 miles to sit with me everyday for half an hour , i do sometimes have days when i can walk the 5 minutes to school and back with hubbie but am plagued by the dizziness and panic feeling all the way ther and all the way back so like this week i just darnt do it so like i say mum and dad are coming , really feel guilty for having to drag them out and relying on everyone else but feel like i cant cope on my own :blush:
sb001f8994
24-09-09, 13:25
Hi Steph,
It must be awful for you to be like this. I rely on my parents too, they are in their early seventies and bless them they call almost every day. In fact Im expecting them later for tea and a chat! I get out a bit with my dad, only in the car but it all helps. Ive managed to do the first aisle of Somerfield and can get round a busy roundabout not far from me. I also try every day to take the dog for a little walk, thats when he hasn't escaped and I have to chase him home! I dont know if I will ever be 'normal' (whatever normal is!) but Im trying. I suppose you must go round in circles, dizziness causing panic and then panicking just in case you may become dizzy.
I hope you can start fighting this, there's only you who can do it, unfortunately nobody can do it for you but they can help to pick you up when you fall and dust you down ready to do it again.
Take care,
Carol x
Hi Anxious Elephant, I don't know if you've tried this, but when I got really bad, I had myself brought to the hospital. It was not an easy choice but I knew I was at a point where the meds I was on and a weekly visit to the therapist was not going to cut it. The doctors in the emergency room agreed. I had no life and neither did my partner. I had to tell the doctor I was suicidal (even though I was very depressed it wasn't true that I was suicidal) in order to be admitted but it was worth it to get the intense and immediate help. I was in-patient for a week until I got stable on the meds (and it was a LOT easier to go through the side effects in the hospital) and then I did 4 weeks of intensive out-patient therapy (every day for 6 hours). There was no miracle cure there but I got to a point where I could cope.
anxious elephant999
24-09-09, 14:58
hi carol yes this dizziness is like going round in circles as i have the dizziness almost cnstantly but then i panic that its going to get worse , well done on being able to take the dog out i couldnt do that as im also scared of other dogs
anxious elephant999
24-09-09, 15:00
Hi kabuki i have thought of hospitalizing myself many times but then i dont really want to , my doc and my psychatrist ( cant spell) said they think i wouldnt like in hospital and i would still have my anxieties
sandramick
24-09-09, 15:34
hi all
wow ive done well today :blush: we been extreemly busy at work and i was on my own and i didnt panic :yesyes: .
carol i agree with your advice to steph , a couple of years ago i couldnt get out of the door i even struggled to wash up or make a cup of tea ! felt dizzy an light headed all the time .
slowly with a lot of support i started to improve as you said it is something that you hve to do for your self , it is sooo hard and at times you feel like u havent got the energy to go on ,
but you have to go on you cant let it beat u .
i still have really crap days but have to keep up the fight :mad:
i have two teenage kids and yes they have missed out on alot of things because of me but they are happy and healthy and no they are loved to pieces .
my daughter would loveto go shopping at the weekend but she seemsto accept that i can only do it every now and then when i feel i can .
teez im so pleased all went well at docs :flowers: enjoy your choc
ju hope the swimming went ok :D
sue i hope the cbt goes well dont forget to do your homework :roflmao: .
ju as u no i from near leek maybe we meet up one day when we dare :scared15:
take care all
love
sandra
xxxxxxxxx
:bighug1:
Hi kabuki i have thought of hospitalizing myself many times but then i dont really want to , my doc and my psychatrist ( cant spell) said they think i wouldnt like in hospital and i would still have my anxieties
Hi Anxious Elephant. I doubt you would like it in the hospital as well, but it doesnt sound like you like it that much at home now either. It is defenitely something that only you and your doctor can decide together. I guess that it helped me because I figured that if the dizzyness (or whatever other symptom) was going to kill me, at least I'd already be at the hospital for treatment. For me, the hospital meant that I made the first move out of the house as well. I survived somewhere that wasn't my apartment. It also meant that the doctors could put me on a variety of meds and monitor me making adjustments on a daily basis. Taking one pill and waiting 4 weeks and seeing the doctor was not working. Maybe you can think of it as your last chance, worst case scenario, there is still something I can do, back up plan. That way you won't lose hope thinking you have tried everything. In the meantime, I hope we can all encourage you to try baby steps. Doing tiny things at a time. Going from your bed to the bathroom, try standing in the hall for a minute. You will see that each thing you survive will give you proof that nothing is going to happen and therefore you can have the courage to try more.
sb001f8994
24-09-09, 16:47
Hi All,
Ive not done too well today and Im annoyed with myself. I went for my little jaunt with my dad in the car but the road was grid locked so we did a u turn and came home. In one sense it was good because if Id have got caught in a jam I would've panicked and it would have set me back so Im not put off about going out tomorrow I am more determined!
Well done Sandra! My daughter is like your teenagers, happy, healthy and doesnt think she has missed out because of me. I do tend to spoil her though, perhaps Im trying to make up for not going out with her.
Kabuki you were so brave to put yourself in hospital, that would not work for me as I refuse to take meds. My doctor thinks becasue I dont get out I must be depressed and I must have prozac but I cant get it through to him that I am NOT depressed. I am a happy person, I dont let things get me down but I do have the odd off day and I do get fed up...this does not mean I am depressed! OOOOH he makes me so mad!
Take care,
Carol x
Anxious_gal
24-09-09, 18:56
I tried getting health benefits twice and failed even though I have been on/off medication and therapy for years so I do have evidence to back up my agoraphobia.
I think it’s prejudice, as agoraphobia isn’t a physical illness so therefore people have much less compassion for us.
Haha TEZZ your doctor has a wonderfully amusing name haha well done for gone on your own.
NMP feels like home. People here struggle with the same daily things I do.
I look at my friends and often compare myself (anxiety, agoraphobia) to their normal lives.
That does get down when I see other people just having no anxiety, no agoraphobias.
Then there’s me, I feel like a complete crazy person compare to them.
But here it’s nice to be completely honest about all my fears, silly fears too and not have anyone make me feel ashamed.
It’s hard isn’t it, but least we all keep going and trying our best
Hi Everyone
Carol, you should be pleased with yourself not annoyed. You still made the effort to go out, and I agree with you turning round and getting out of the traffic jam why give yourself the pressure at the moment. Maybe you could work toward going to a place where traffice is notoriously slow so that you get used to being in slow moving traffic and work your way up. It is good that you have soooo much enthusiasm towards getting to grips with the agoraphobia.
Well done Sandra, at work,on your own, busy and not a glimpse of panic. That is really great.
Mishel, it is hard when others seem to have no anxiety and are able to do anything and go anywhere. I would love to be that brave!!
Steph, sorry to hear you are still suffering. How long have you had agoraphobia. Maybe when think that you cant have a normal life, cant go out or cant be left alone you could add at the end of that thought "at the moment". It is easy to feel that we are going to be like this forever. Depression does play that trick on us.
When I was 15 and suffering from agoraphobia, I used to beleive that i would pass or have a heart attak when i was out. I went to see a therapist and after explaining my fears he asked me to stand up, he then told me to "faint" obviously i didn't, he then told me to "have a heart attack" i didn't manage this request either. When I went into shops after that I just though "come and get me do your worst" I never ever fainted or had a heart attack. I felt a bit dizzy and my heart was beating faster, but that was just down to good old anxiety.
I have a couple of questions for you all:
Does anyone feel worse in the mornings and better in the evenings.
Have you ever had depression.
I am just curious, as i am getting over depression at the moment.
I have had a fairly good day. Not as good as the last 10-12 days, I am trying to stay positive and not panic or overreact. Just go that vague sort anxiety, low mood feeling.
Anyway well done again girls. Have a good evening and a wonderful day tomorrow.
Take care all
Sue xxx:hugs:
Hi everyone, sounds like evryone has had a positive day. Carol you did well to go out in the car and it was a good decision to turn back if you were really uncomfortable as if you'd of carried on and got really anxious it would of put you off going next time. Its always better to try and make outings a positive experience as thats what we remember.
Well i wen to go to the swimming pool and i normaly go in the car with Su as i cant stand going on the coach but she had forgotten her car keys so in a moment of madness i said i would drive :doh: if she came with me. this is a massive step for me as i will only drive if i know the person can take over if i panic but today i went knowing that she couldnt! i cant believe i did it myself!!!!! I didi have a bit of a panic when i realised i'd got to drive back to work too lol but i did it and feel really proud of myself. its another baby step in the right direction. well wish me luck tomorrow on my course. you may know where it is sandra, whiston village hall near cheadle? i havent a clue but i'm going with Chris so will be ok. have a good day tomorrow everyone and keep up the good work, im realy proud of you all!!!
hello ladies , well done with all your hard work,,i feel we are all coming on in leaps n bounds,,as for having to turn round in the car the fact you were willing to go out in the car never mind go down the road is a big thing ,,never be angry at any thing you do, no matter how small,,steph i wondered,,maybe you could let hubby go out for a couple of minutes,let him walk just down the road,,you could chat to him on his mobile,,let the lenght his out gradually increase,,,i get nervous being in on my own,,but after an hour of palps ,,missbeats and having a go at my self i relax and even enjoy it,,could you arrange to chat to one of us on here or even on chat, while hubby shoots out for a few minutes, we,d all be here for you when the times right for you, At the mo im working on my edge phobia, today i actually looked right over an edge ,,i did feel a little giddy but i still managed ok, even though ive been really tired, sick,and sore after my emotional day yesterday , i made myself walk the dogs,,and even while in full palps,, im so glad i did it now,,i feel better in myself,,till tomorrow ladies keep up the good work all xxxxxxxx
sb001f8994
25-09-09, 08:26
Good morning ladies,
I hope you are all well today and looking forward to the weekend.
Mishel I look at my hubby and he has no anxiety at all and my dad is the same it must be good not to have a care in the world. I find when I have nothing to worry about...I worry!!!
Sue did you start with agoraphobia when you were 15? I was about 16, the first bout I recovered quite quickly with the help of meds and weekly psychiatrist visits. It appeared again in my late twenties and I think it was because my doctor quite abruptly stopped my meds. But I got through it and although I always had probs with panic etc I managed until I was about 33 and I had ten years of not doing much at all. Four years ago my hubby had an affair and it made me see things differently. I 'pulled' myself together and I am now trying to get a better quality of life. My hubby is not impressed that I am doing a bit now, I think he sees it as a threat and he has now turned out quite insecure.
Well done Julie, I dont think what you did was a baby step, more like a giant stride! I am very proud of you too. It is so good to hear this as it spurs me on. Good luck on your course.
Teez I was taught not to see things negatively but make a positive out of it and I think thats why I stay fairly happy! And I do the mobile thing too. I often text or phone someone when Im in the car or just out walking and it takes you mind of your worries, great invention mobiles!!! Brillaint for walking the dogs with the palps, the more we show tham they are no threat they will become less of one!
Probably be back later!
Take care,
Carol x
sandramick
25-09-09, 09:26
good morning
sue most defently feel worse in mornings feel really crap this morning i think maybe it because i had good day yesterday went an did my shopping last night on my own and was ok even when i had to queue but seems to take two days energy to have one good day ! i couldnt step foot in super market this morning daft isnt it ! but agree with all who say only do things that u feel ok with if u push too hard it knocks u right back .
ju i used to work at the sneyd arms at whiston , still help out a bit in fact have to help them on saturday !hope all goes well on your course that is really brave sitting in a room with others .
mishel i too watch "normal " people and think i wish i cud be like them , after 20 years of feeling like a freek it nice to no others feel like and understand me .
carol doctors tryed telling me for years i was depressed but i knew i wasnt and it more than that , yes have low teary days but not depressed !
stay strong all
love
sandra
xxxxxxx
:bighug1:
anxious elephant999
25-09-09, 10:51
Hi all well done to you all , ive just walked to corner shop with hubby , but feel really ill now , i would be ok for hubby to just go down the road as its not a very long one but i sit here feeling that ill and scared and in a panic if he goes any further . I do feel worse in mornings and yes i suffer with depression and severe anxiety mostly health anxiety
steph
Hi everyone
I am right there with you this morning Sandra, it has been crap so far. Hubby is trying to help me to think positive but it is difficult feeling like this. I guess my concern is the depression, i have been told that recovery is very up and down and i have had a dozen good days in a row, but yesterday i noticed a bit of a low mood and anxiety, today it is a bit stronger.
I guess i worry and enter into my "what if" thinking mode. What if the tablets stop working, what if i cant get rid of the depression blah blah blah. All negative i know.
Hope our day improves a it goes along.
Hi Carol, I was actually 13 when i started on the agoraphobia treadmill. I had an accident at school, fell off of vaulting horse in the gym and landed head first on a wooden floor. Knocked myself out for 20 mins, no serious damage fortunately.... well my hubby might dispute that!!
I had my first panic attack about 2 weeks later when at a friends birthday party, which was being held in a cellar, someone fell down the stairs and knocked all the lights out. I can still remember it vividly, just pitch black.
I often wonder if the link was from being knocked unconscious i.e. into blackness. I struggled until late teens early 20's but coped ok. By the time i was 25 i could do most thing with the exception of a few. At 37 after a whole stream of major life event over a 5 year period I dipped into depression etc.
I was put on Sertraline, once i recovered i remained on a low maintaining dose and have been really well for 10 years, in fact probably the best i have ever been with hind sight. I am now 50 and since June have been suffering with depression, anxiety and the agoraphobia has come back with a vengence as it did when i was 37. The trouble is, the depression can be exhausting too so it is difficult sometimes to muster up the energy and enthusiasm to tackle the agoraphobia.
Anyway i have blabbed on enough. Gonna go face the day now.
Take care everyone... you are all doing great.
Sue xxx :bighug1:
Hi Steph
I think we were posting at the same time. Well done, thats a really good achievement getting to the shop. It is exhausting when you start on the road up, which is probably why you feel ill at the moment. But baby steps is definately the way. Probably best to keep with the corner shop until you feel more comfortable with that journey and then set yourself another goal.
Well done, you were really brave. :yesyes:
Take care
Sue xxxx:hugs:
Alabasterlyn
25-09-09, 11:55
Good morning everyone, hope we are all enjoying the nice weather today :D
My anxiety is worse in the morning, by the time evening comes I am just beginning to feel 'normal' and then I go to bed and it all starts over again the next day :mad:
Today I am sitting waiting for the workman to come and service our central heating boiler. The appointment was made about 2mths ago so I am hoping they don't forget! We got our new boiler courtesy of the Warm Front Scheme which helps anyone who is on DLA and we got a grant that nearly paid for the whole thing which was good, so if any of you are in receipt of DLA it's worth knowing.
I haven't reminded my other half about the boiler as I am trying to see if I can handle the situation on my own, but I do hate waiting around.
I haven't been out much this week. I did try to go into town last night but the traffic was snarled all around the one way system, so we think there must have been some kind of accident so didn't bother.
It seems a few of us started with our anxiety/agoraphobia in our early teens, there has to be a hormonal reason for this I would think.
sb001f8994
25-09-09, 12:38
Hi...me again!
Well done Steph, this is an enormous step and in the right direction. The more you do little things the more you are telling the anxiety to bog off. Anxiety is such a bully and bully's do not like to be confronted...be warned anxiety I am gunning for you!!!
Sue I hate the 'what ifs'. I sometimes spend hours before going out just thinking what if i panic, what if I cant get home, the list is endless. Thats why I dont make plans, I just tend to do things on the spare of the moment, which is not good as in a way I am giving into my fears. Funny how you remember your first panic attack, I was on a trip to London, away from my family, hardly slept and was eating crap, then out of the blue I thought I was going to die. Full blown panic and I had no one to run to. Was I glad to get home!
I dont feel bad in the mornings any more, I did when I first started with anxiety but I am mainly a happy person whatever the time. I just sometimes get days that I am a bit blue but think this is more hormonal. When I was really bad, long ago I wouldnt get out of bed till Id had my breakfast and put on my make up, that was like a little ritual! I wake up most days now feeling ok, not on cloud nine but ok.
Lyn, hope the workmen have turned up and you are coping well. I dont like strangers in my home, Im never sure if I should chat to them or offer tea and these are the silly things I worry about while they are there. And yes I do think it is hormonal, my doctor said that anxiety can affect you in puberty as there are so many chemical changes going on in our bodies and hormones are at fever pitch. Luckily it didnt affect my teenagers, they were just sulky, miserable Kevin's!!!
Speak later, have a good afternoon.
Carol x
ladybird64
25-09-09, 13:20
Hi Ladies :)
Would it be ok if I added myself to your thread? I know there was something similar to this ages ago but I don't know where to find it..:shrug:
I have slid back a little recently in my efforts to go out and about and I'm kind of gearing myself up to start again.
I have managed 2 "trying" journeys in the past two weeks, i am determined to do them alone as I know there isn't really much point for me to do it accompanied..but it's difficult, you all know that already. :winks:
I did a little walk yesterday, slightly different from normal as I allowed myself the luxury of turning back if I got too uncomfortable, I usually push through it and scare myself to death in the process.
I did hit the psychological "wall" and stopped but didn't turn back immediately, waited about 5 mns before doing so. I have high expectations of myself and would have classed this as a failure a few months ago but I'm trying not to, telling myself at least I didn't leg it!
I'm hoping to get some support from this thread and a kick up the bum when I'm being too hard on myself!
Hope that's ok :yesyes:
Alabasterlyn
25-09-09, 13:50
Hi Ladybird and welcome :D
Sorry that you have been having a setback, it seems to be very common with agora :mad:
The good thing is that you are trying and I guess that is all we can do. I always permit myself the luxury of turning back when things get tough too :ohmy:
Just now I set out for the second time to the Post Office around the corner. I was just about to go out the door the first time and suddenly thought 'hmmm I haven't had any lunch yet, maybe I won't feel well', so I sat back down again.
Tried again half an hour later, armed with sunglasses and iPod. Managed to get to the Post Office but didn't have a particularly good time in there. I was trying to send a package and it's probably the first time in years since I have done that and obviously I am a bit clueless. I stood there like a lemon while the guy behind the counter kept saying something in garbled English about putting it through some gap :ohmy: 'What gap' I kept asking like an idiot, until he pointed out a gap in the screen which I couldn't see that clearly as I still had my sunglasses on. I did feel a right idiot though :blush:
Hi everyone, sounds like evryone has had a positive day. Carol you did well to go out in the car and it was a good decision to turn back if you were really uncomfortable as if you'd of carried on and got really anxious it would of put you off going next time. Its always better to try and make outings a positive experience as thats what we remember.
Well i wen to go to the swimming pool and i normaly go in the car with Su as i cant stand going on the coach but she had forgotten her car keys so in a moment of madness i said i would drive :doh: if she came with me. this is a massive step for me as i will only drive if i know the person can take over if i panic but today i went knowing that she couldnt! i cant believe i did it myself!!!!! I didi have a bit of a panic when i realised i'd got to drive back to work too lol but i did it and feel really proud of myself. its another baby step in the right direction. well wish me luck tomorrow on my course. you may know where it is sandra, whiston village hall near cheadle? i havent a clue but i'm going with Chris so will be ok. have a good day tomorrow everyone and keep up the good work, im realy proud of you all!!!
OMG ju this is so amazing. Congratulations! You need to make this a permanent memory. Next time you start to think anxious thoughts you can tell yourself they're a lie and remember this day as proof of that!!!:yahoo: :bighug1:
Hi Ladybird, welcome to the thread and congratualtions not only on trying to go out but on willing yourself to stay the extra 5 minutes.
Alabasterlynn the POST OFFICE! You are practically without fear in my book. The post office is pretty much a dungeoun of a million things to set off an attack. I am so proud of you
Sue I understand your worries after a stretch of feeling well. I always start to get into that thinking of 'my luck is going to run out and a big one will make me pay for all these good days.' Don't let the negative thinking back in. You tell the anxiety that the good days are what is normal and the anxioius days are just an exception with feelings that will go away.
I'm amazed how many people started having anxiety in their teens. I had my first attack when I was 23 and had taken a hit of LSD. I spent the next 10 years kicking myself in the butt thinking about how stupid I was and that I would have had a normal life if only I hadn't... Now I know it's not true. I started suffering from depression when I was about 8 and I was already an emotional mess before that fateful night. If it hadn't been then I would have had the first panic attack some other night but it would have eventually happened.
I feel worse in the morning but I think it's because it takes me a while to really wake up and to get my blood sugar balanced. My worst time is during sunset. As soon as the sun starts to set til about 9.00 pm I feel terrible. If you lock me in a room with no windows in a basement I can still tell you what time it is based on how sick I feel
panicchick
25-09-09, 15:59
hello anxious elephant. Trust me your not alone with this at all I also am afraid to leave my house but not to be alone i would much rather be alone and deal with all the worry then have my mate not understand why i am so anxious for no reason It seems to help me sometimes to get out when i have a trusted friend with me and go a few blocks at a time and try and push myself to go further everyday granted i have not left my house in almost a week but i want to get better and i know we can beat this we are here for you and i understand what you are going through. I freak out when it is in the early hours of the morning and no one i can talk to about my panic attacks are awake so i have to deal with them alone and that is the scariest part for me but i just had to tell you that i am with you on this and i also thought i was alone but im seeing from this site we are not alone! Take care and i hope you get to feeling better and get in the mind set that you can beat this with just a little bit of will power!
well today we visited people,,,ive been in three shops ,,,did my usual asda therapy, then a petshop i get dizzy spells in, then on to wilkos,,which is always hot,,,and i hate as we have a fair walk to get back to the car,,the pet shop was easy as it had my weakness in it baby bunnys,,nothing like babies and baby critters to make me forget all about my panic,,i must say asda,s is getting better and better,,it was packed solid but i was fine,,.am i the only one with other phobias or do any of you other ladies have any,,,i have a real problem phoning , lifts,bridges where you can see through the planks,,, esculators,and the biggy edges,,oh and clautrophobia,,yet i will happily walk through fields with cows ,horses in which have terrified people who i thought had no phobias,,lol
anxious elephant999
25-09-09, 18:41
HI all well done on your achievements today , i went with hubby in car to pick up daughter from school but as we were sat there i was just looking through the windscreen and round the edges it was all distorted and when i looked through wingmirrors close up they looked funny too then when i looked away everything i looked at looked distorted and this went on for about an hour afterwards and now im panicing and darent get in the car again :weep: :weep:
anxious elephant999
25-09-09, 18:46
HI again forgot to answer your question on phobias ive got loads some i can think off are claustrophobia , fear of hieghts, lifts, esculaters, them travelaters that tesco and asda have started putting in , deep water, butterflies, blood,dentists, being put to sleep , and of cause anything that makes me feel dizzier than i do now :lac: Thers probably loads more too but just cant think at the moment :huh:
sb001f8994
25-09-09, 19:18
Evening all,
Welcome ladybird. Well done for your walk yesterday, every little helps. Its the little steps that lead us to bigger ones, I have found that I do the same thing over and over till it no longer worries me and then I go that bit further. It takes ages but Im now at the first aisle of somerfield and getting round a busy roundabout.
Lyn going the post office is a great achievement. The post office is torture and the staff very unhelpful, you did brilliantly.
Panicchick I too like to be alone for similar reasons as you. I prefer for no one to see my panic so Ive learnt very well to hide it and I would rather be alone if in a panic and work through it myself.
Good work teez, I could never do all that! I would like the pet shop too, I like it when I take the dog out and see other dog owners, its a distraction. I too have a few phobias. I actually started with claustraphobia and was told there is a fine line between that and agoraphobia. My doctor thinks Im more claustraphobic as it is being afraid of being hemmed in that stops me going places. I too could stand in a field...not too sure of the cows though!
Steph you did really well and you should be not be seeing it as a negative and please do go back in the car. Our mind plays bad tricks on us when we are afraid and once you can tell yourself this, things will improve. What you are doing is feeding your fear and it is thriving. I see panic as a fire, it needs fuel and our fear is just the fuel it needs. So it has to frighten the life out of us to keep that fear coming and keep the fire alight. Im looking forward to the day I can extinguish this fire!
Well ta ta for now and if Im not back later have a good weekend everyone and take care.
Carol x
Hi Dawn
I have just read your post. Have you tried contacting a Benefits advisor at the Citizens Advice Centre? If you need help in getting the right amount of benefit for your son, then they are the best people to contact.
My son who is now back at university studying a Masters Degree, He is 22. During the summer hols he could not get a job anywhere. He lived with me and applied for Job Seekers Allowance and received £50 a week for himself.
I honestly can't understand why your son would only receive £17 a week when he is unable to work due to agoraphobia. I think that is terrible.
Have you appealed the decision?
Feel free to pm me if you wish.
Hugs:hugs:
Hi Everyone
Welcome to the thread Ladybird. It's good you are "gearing up" You did well waiting for 5 mins on you walk maybe next time you will manage 10 mins.
Thanks for the advice Kabuki, I will try to look at bad days in a different way. I think it is probably the depression causing my "bad mornings, as i am not sure if anxiety causes this? Do you feel unwell every day at 9 ish?
Hi panicchick, I to find it unpleasant when i am on my own and anxiety strikes. My Hubby is going out now for about 3 hours, so anxiety is lurking in the wings.
Julie you are entitled to be proud of yourself, you are doing great.
I am sure you will conquer the edge phobia Teez, you are conquering everything else..lol. I don't like being on the edge of a drop, so when my hubby booked us a trip to the Grand Canyon after one quick look over the edge and a huge stomach swoop i spent the next 15 mins with my back glued to the side of the coach along with another lade who felt exactly the same!!
Along with the agoraphobia and fear of height i also suffer from claustrophobia and a huge fear of daddylonglegs, so September/October are definatly panic times for me.
Hope the workmen didn't keep you waiting around for too long Lyn, its good you are feeling strong enough to tackle this though. I am sure you were the embodiment of calm whilst in the Post Office...lol. :shades:
Hadn't thought about puberty Carol, although my agoraphobia was caused by an accident there is not telling what effect hormones had on the way i interpreted that event. Could well be a link.
Well done Steph, don't let the distorted vision put you off of the car. Anxiety can cause this, just remember it won't harm you it is just unpleasant.
Well my day started on a low, got slightly better during the day but Hubby is going out so i am feeling vaguely anxious, so i will be giving myself a good talking too in a minute.
Have a good night every one
Take care
Sue xxxx
glad im not the only one then sue,,,i did that (back against something), in yarmouth while on holiday the other week ,,,i tried so hard to go near the edge,,there was a flimsy fence,,but i just couldnt do it,,,and i was so angry with myself,,,didnt help when their signs warning all about lol,,,
ladybird64
25-09-09, 22:33
Grand Canyon??:ohmy: You couldn't pay me enough to even contemplate going there!
Just adding a quick update which I'm quite pleased about. Decided to walk to the local Sainsburys which entails walking across a a large open park, I always have a problem with this particular route, my walk yesterday includes part of it. I have had a bit of an off day, hubby not well and I knew I needed to get shopping but as day went on I felt less like doing it.
Decided at 6pm that I would ask my daughters if they fancied accompanying me to the shop, I know I'm not quite strong enough to do the whole walk on my own yet.
It went well, I did have the usual feelings approaching the park, the traffic freaks me out and just seeing that wide open space in front of me..:weep:
Anyway, did it with the help of my girls and someone from the forum (text messages) and made sure I stayed in the park long enough for the anxiety to die down.
Going to try and do a very busy market tomorrow when I visit my mother, I haven't been there for a good few months..have always been too busy/felt too tired/some other excuse!
Its Portobello Market, wall to wall tourists and not an inch of space, wish me luck!
sb001f8994
25-09-09, 22:57
Hi Ladybird,
Good luck for tomorrow and very well done for today. It is a help having family/friends with you isnt it? I can go further with my daughter, I think when you are on your own you tend to dwell more and like I said in an earlier post...thank god for mobiles!
Anyway Im off to bed now so very good night to all and here's wishing you a happy, healthy panic free weekend.
Nite, nite
Carol x
Hope your day got better Sue and your not too anxious with your hubby being out, mine is out too but I call this bliss!!!
Teez,I drive my hubby mad with warning signs, i am always pointing them out to him, like he can't see them or read them....hehe. He has no such fear and so wanders calmly to look over the edge of everything...bless him!!!
I wouldn't even contemplate going anywhere at the moment ladybird. I have been able to go abroad most of my adult life but i do get anxiety where ever we go, but it ususally settles down after 2-3 days. A holiday in Portugal was the catalist for this current bout of anxiety/depression, i think the holiday anxiety was kind of the last straw and tipped me over into depression. But this has caused the agoraphobia to get a hold again. So i've got to fight the good fight all over again :weep: .
Well done with the trip across the park, it takes so much courage to do these things doesn't it. Good luck tomorrow with the market. I look forward to reading your post about it.
Take care
Sue xxx:bighug1:
anxious elephant999
26-09-09, 20:15
Hi well done to you all again , just a quick update really managed to be passenger in the car to my mums 3miles away , stayed at mum and dads for about 6 hours but my daughter was there with me and the rest of the family popped in , my husband really needed to get out for the day as im doing his head in .Anyway on the way home id promised my daughter we would drive through mcdonalds to get her a happy meal , i had been having a few dizzy spells all day so was going to find this hard anyway but we went and the queue for the drive through was huge and my husband was doing the typical husband thing you know "im not waiting in that queue for a poxy happy meal"sort of thing , so i decided to take my daughter inside to order it and there was a queue inside aswell but not as long as outside but i did it and my daughter got her happy meal :yesyes:
Hi Steph
That is really great, well done.:yesyes:
I think you have done marvelously, you should be so proud of yourself. Another step in the right direction. Keep going and you will beat this and get your life back.
I am having a couple of bad days. Went to my sons today with hubby stayed for about 2 hours. I was better last Monday when we went there, but i wasn't too bad today. I have had a couple of bad nights sleep, my sleep pattern had got better the last couple of weeks and i was getting 6-7 hours sleep, but last night and the night before i had 4-5 hours, lack of sleep usually increases my anxiety. So earlyish night tonight.
Keep up the good work, look forward to your next installment...lol.
Take care
Sue xxxxx:bighug1:
sb001f8994
27-09-09, 12:17
Hi everyone,
Steph this is brillaint and you should be really proud of yourself, I bet your daughter was really pleased!
Sue sorry you are having bad days but they will pass at least you still went to your sons and didnt cancel so this is good. The lack of sleep may have contributed to you feeling bad. Hope you are feeling better today.
Im feeling pretty good, had a lovely day with my hubby yesterday, we had the house to ourselves and it was heaven. Its a nice day here so might potter about the garden and be lazy!
Hope you all have a good Sunday and take care.
Carol x
Hi there. Congratulations to all who challenged themselves this weekend. Sue I'm not surprised that your anxiety increased if you haven't been sleeping well. I can tell the difference after even one bad night of sleep and I think that all us anxious people need the rest even more than others.
Ladybird, it was a wonderful idea for you to ask your daughters to join you. I think that it is a real treat for the loved ones in our lives to be able to share time with us outside the home. I think it is so interesting that most agorophobes have a 'safe person' that they can get out of the house with. My problem is the exact opposite. I only really feel comfortable outside if I am alone. I wonder if that makes it more of a social anxiety. If I go out alone I feel completely free to come back home whenever I want without letting anyone down or creating any hassle. I also don't like having to plan when I can leave my house. When I am alone I can 'grab' the moment when I feel strongest and avoid all anticipation anxiety.
Anyhow, this was a great weekend for me. I did what I haven't been able to do in over a year. I stayed out for hours. On Saturday I stayed in town for 5 hours and met up with 3 different people at different times, and Sunday I went to the beach--even stayed out despite the fact that it was hot and I felt hot. I overcame all of the dizzyness and the attacks were very short and insignificant. I had to do a lot of self talk throughout the days but I ended up having a nice time rather than just getting through it!!:yahoo: I'm feeling positive about my recovery for the first time in years. Thank you all for your help and support
sandramick
28-09-09, 14:47
hi all
not had a bad weekend bit shaky today because i no tomorrow i have to do a split shift an im dreading it already !!
kabuki well done on your being so possitive , you are lucky to live by a beach i would love that :shades:
carol an hubby had the house to them selves no wonder she smiling:blush:
sue hope u managed to catch up on some sleep i alwaysfeel loads worse if i dont get enough :scared15:
anx ellie a queue wow thats brill bet your daughter enjoyed her treat ,:winks:
sue a holiday abroad set my anx off this time too it 2 years ago and i am improving loads :flowers:
hi ladybird how did u get on at the market ? i find going to places with my daughter makes it easier too although her favorite place "primark " is just too hard for me which makes me feel really guilty especially when she tells me her friends have been out with there mums !:weep:
well done all
love
sandra
xxxxxx
:bighug1: :bighug1:
sb001f8994
28-09-09, 15:59
Hi all,
Well done Kabuki you are doing really well and its great to feel so positively...brilliant!
Yes Sandra I had a good weekend alone with my hubby and I was grinning like a cheshire cat!
Well apart from spending time with my hubby I didnt do much else this weekend so back to the car trips tomorrow. Not so long ago I would have been filled with dread at making plans but Im thinking a bit more positvely now.
Good luck with your split shift tomorrow Sandra.
Take care all,
Carol x
anxious elephant999
28-09-09, 16:57
Hi all well done to you all who acheived something this weekend , i managed to take daughter to school with hubby in car this morning, and evening , also had to go and make a payment in the bank ,this is something i have still been doing quite regular through the year but scares the hell out of me , and as soon as i have a bad day or two then i find it takes me a few weeks to start doing it again , it feels like i keep doing 2 steps forward and 1 back again , but thought id up date everyone .
Carol glad you enjoyed your weekend with hubby :shades:
Kabuki glad you had a good day in town i so wish i could go shopping in town :ohmy:
all the best for tomorrow all of you steph :bighug1: :bighug1:
Thanks for the support everyone.
Steph, don't worry you'll be going shopping in town one day soon. A year ago, heck, a couple of months ago, I would have said it was impossible, but if I can do it then you will get there as well.
Carol, keep up the positive thinking and see every trip out of the house as an adventure not as torture.
Sandra, good luck with the split shift. Try to think about all of the times you have gone to work and nothing has happened. Nothing will happen this time either. You might have some unpleasant feelings but nothing that is actually dangerous. You don't need to be afraid.
Sue hope you were able to get some sleep these days.
I have a friend from out of town coming with her two children to stay with me this weekend. The visitor situation is always a bit nerve wracking because I feel like I have to be 'on' the whole time and naturally, they want to go out and do a million things. luckily she is quite self-sufficient so if I say I don't want to go it won't be a real problem, but she doesn't know about my anxiety and I don't really feel like telling her
sb001f8994
29-09-09, 19:35
Hi everyone,
Went on a little journey in the car today and once again the roads were very busy so didnt get very far, not as far as I would have liked. Im not about to start beating myself up about it though, I done what I could today, if the road would have been a little less busy I would have done my usual trip. The one good thing was coming home we got stuck behind a very slow driver, honestly talk about a snails pace! At least I didnt panic, not even a fast heart.
Ive had a really nice day, my parents visited and me and my mum put the world to rights! Not so long ago I would have been a nervous wreck with them here but its so nice to be able to sit, relax and have a good gossip.
Kabuki good luck with your visitors, our friends came to stay some months ago and I normally find it very stressful but this last time I was more laid back and actually enjoyed it. Hope you have a good weekend.
Take care,
Carol x
Hello to everyone
How was the trip to Portobello market Ladybird? Hope it went well for you.
OOOh Carol, house to yourselves huh. It is wonderful sometimes isn't it. Hope you got your day in the garden. Well done with the "slow" car trip and not a whiff of panic :yesyes: . Big step too, relaxing with visitors around not matter who they are.
Kabuki, its great you were able to spend so much time in town and visit the beach, glad you enjoy it. It is very true, sometimes it seems asthough we are just getting through life when it would be so nice to enjoy it instead. Its good to hear you are feeling positive about your recovery you certainly have every reason to.
Glad you weekend was good Sandra, hope your day went okay today at work. I am sure your daughter understands about you not venturing into Primark you have no reason to feel guilty (she says). I was in there with my daugter about 2 months ago, it was so hot and very muddly in there, she was ages too!!! Maybe you could just go a little way into Primark for 5 mins do this a few times until you feel comfortable and then gradually increase the time you are there and how far into the shop you go.
Steph, its good you are continuing to go into the bank. When you are there try to remember all the time you have been there before and have felt scared and nothing bad has happened. If you are taking 2 steps forward and 1 step back that is still 1 step in the right direction. You made positive steps last week, with the car journey, actually going into McDonalds and now going to the bank. Keep building on these successes and you will soon start beating the anxiety and agoraphobia.
Thank you all for your support over the last few days, i have had 4 bad nights sleep in a row and 4 badish days and started to panic that I was going backwards. Last night was a bit better, so that is positive. I woke up feeling a bit low and anxious this morning but by the afternoon it had passed, so another positive!!
Friends rang yesterday afternoon to ask if they could visit that evening, this is the 4th time they have visited since i have had anxiety etc, and for me each time has felt better than the last. So I can see some improvement if i look for it. It's just not blooming quick enoiugh :lac:
Anyway hope you all have a great day tomorrow, keep up the hard work, we will all get there.
Look forward to reading your posts.
Sue xxxxx :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:
hi everyone, just wanted to apologise for not being on the past few days but im having huge problems with my internet which chooses when it is going to work at the moment!!! hopefully should be better tomorrow. keep up the good work xxxxx
hihiya all,,havnt been on for a few days as ive been on a low,,,i had a real tough day today,,didnt get far in the shops , although im still forcing myself out the door each day,,,i was very depressed after having to come out of tescos today but i will rest up as i tried on a wrong day ,,as id had a night filled with horrific nightmares,,,which happens at times,,so i guess i shouldnt push myself after bad nights, hope everyones having a better time,,keep up the good work all,,you all inspire me to keep trying xxxxxx
sb001f8994
30-09-09, 08:51
Hi all,
Sue, yes having the house to ourselves was very rare and most welcome. Me and hubby had some much needed 'us' time and I was spoilt! Hope your sleeping is improving, it affects your anxiety so much if your sleeping is disturbed. I found, like you, that the more visitors came the less anxious I felt and I now look forward to getting them...except of course when they are unexpected and the house is a tip!!!
Julie hope you are sorting out your internet, my pc is very tempramental right now, I wrote in a previous post the I think it suffers from pmt as it seems to go haywire every few weeks!
Teez, Hope you are feeling better today and at least you are still pushing yourself and not letting the anxiety win. I wait for the day I can just walk out of the door and not think about it.
No plans for today, I will worry too much as my daughter has gone to Colomendy (school camp in Wales). I await her text to say she has arrived...she will forget to text! So I am going to keep busy and tidy her room...will take most of the day judging by the state its in!!!
Hope you are all feeling better today, take care.
Carol x
PS: Just read a post from Mishel, she is flying to her hols on Saturday...well done Mishel, have fun x
Hi Everyone hope you are all having a good day,
Julie, computors, mind of their own, need i say more. :lac:
Sorry you had a bad day yesterday Teez. Hope today was better for you. :hugs:
I agree, it's probably not good to push yourself too hard after a bad night.I am sure that when we are well and we have a bad night, we would probably not bother to go out the next day and wouldn't give it a second thought. However the when we are suffering from agoraphobia we tell ourselves we must or should go out, or if we don't we are letting "it" get the better of us, or being weak.
Don't get disheartened, you have valid reason for finding Tesco more difficult today....a bad night.
I slept a bit better last night thak you Carol. I managed to fall asleep a bit earlier and woke up at 6.30 so not too bad. Hope you have had your text. It's a nightmare when you are waiting isn't it.
I have had a better day, saw my therapist this morning. We have started to work through a CBT book. I did have CBT years ago, but I need a refresher.
We were working on identifing negative thoughts in specific situations. Feel quite positive about the therapy really.
I am not relishing tomorrow as Hubby and I have a meeting at work that we both need to attend. Yuk hate meetings...lol. First one I have been to since i have been unwell this time.
Keep up the good work girls. Baby steps and we will get there.
Take care
Sue xxxxxxxx
sandramick
01-10-09, 16:19
hi all hope everyone still keeping possitive :yesyes:
it is so hard sometimes isnt it !
i woke this morning with anx tummy (no idea why !!! ) after visiting the loo sevral times i got myself worked up big time . was this just anx or a tummy bug ???? some times you really dont no do u . :shrug: if i go to work will i take my mind off it or will i be poorly then i might sweat , go dizzy , faint and need the loo (cant go anywhere but home ).
drove to work really scared wish id rung in sick but made my self go !!
and hey guess what after ten mins panicing i couldnt do it and needed to run .........i got busy with customers and forgot to worry !!!!!
THIS BLINKING ANX
gosh it so hard sometimes .
thanks for listening it nice to share with people who understand ,
lets keep up the fight
love
sandra
xxxxxxx
:bighug1:
hiya all, still going through a rough patch,,doesnt help im on pills for my kidney infection that always make me feel ill,,but doctor insists those are the ones i must take,,well at least now he listened to the fact i really did have a kidney infection after sending me home last week saying i didnt,,results came back guess what,,,yes you guessed it ,,ive been dizzy all day but for some reason very positive and quite happy in my self,,ive managed two shops ,,even the second hand book shop which i love,,im a bookaholic lol,,but its very dark and dingy and i always have dizzy spells in there,,but i thought well as i already feel dizzy get on with it lol, so all in all, not a bad day,,Sandra i know them days well,,im a celiac so i only have to eat one thing wrong and its, not good , but i was good the other week ,,like yourself i never use any loo but my own,,but i had to the other week,,and since im fine,,which is a big help,,the worlds my lobster now :roflmao:
sb001f8994
01-10-09, 17:02
Hi all,
Not done much today but Ive felt very positive and good. My parents and my in laws came round this morning, stories of old and my mother in law getting a bit rude in her old age and not realising it was hilarious! So good day so far.
Glad you went into work Sandra and won another battle. Trouble with us is we dont know when its anx or when we are poorly. Well done for keeping going regardless.
Well done Teez too, I can be more daring when Im ill as I think like you, well Im dizzy anyway!
Was it nice in your neck fo the woods Sandra, Teez? Im wondering why we are all feeling good, its been a lovely sunny day here and just thought perhaps its the nice day that helps?
Take care and keep these positive thoughts going
Carol x
Alabasterlyn
01-10-09, 17:06
Hi everyone, sorry not been posting this week as haven't really done much so didn't feel I had anything to add :blush:
I should have gone to the dentists this evening, but I have postponed it to next week as it's still not quite dark enough at 6.30pm and I do feel things are easier when it's dark.
Teez, sorry to hear you have a kidney infection. Hope that you feel better soon. Well done for going out to the shops despite feeling dizzy, you are very brave :D
Sandra, I get those days when my stomach plays up and I don't know if it's anxiety or something else. I think I have IBS, so my stomach often plays up. I love books too, but I go through phases of reading and then go off books for awhile. What types of books do you like? I quite like thrillers and crime books, but not scary ones!
Sue, hope you get on okay doing the CBT again. It seems to work very well for a lot of people. Hope your meeting went well.
Carol, glad that you enjoyed your 'us' time with your hubby :)
Julie, isn't it awful when your internet plays up. I rely on mine so much :blush:
carol i,ll agree sunny days do help lift your mood and make it that much easier too keep up the fight ,,,just wandering ladies ive a sneaky feeling i suffer with S,A,D, winters are hellish on my moods and i always have more trouble with my aggie,,anyone else,,it would be interesting to find out,
sb001f8994
01-10-09, 20:12
Me again!
Hi Lyn I can do more on the darker nights, perhaps its quieter roads, not as many people about. But in complete contrast I love the atmosphere nearer Christmas and dont seem to mind packed shops full of happy people and excited kids. I read crime/thrillers by Tess Gerritson, have you read any of hers? I finish them in a day or two, cant put them down!
Hi Teez, yes the weather certainly helps but I dont think you have to be an anxiety sufferer to know this, sunny days equals happy people! I dont think I suffer SAD, I actually like the darker nights I find winter cozy and it also signals Christmas is coming, as you may have gathered I really love Christmas!
Off for a bath now, good night everyone.
Carol x
Hi All
Hope everyone is okay.
Sandra, waking with an anxious tummy really starts the day off well doesn't it. I have had this most mornings for the last 3 month....:weep: .
Well done going to work, amazing how when we focus on something else we forget our worry and anxiety.
Sorry you are having a rough patch Teez, hope you are feeling better today. I had a kidney infection years ago, it was so painful, you have my sympathy. Its great you still managed to get to the shops. My hubby is a bookaholic too. We went to Hay on Wye a few years ago, every other shop is a book shop, old and higledy pigledy. We had a wonderful time my husband was int his element.
Glad you are having a positive time at the moment Carol. I love xmas too. We have had a family Christmas at our house for the last 22 years. It is a bit quieter the last few years as the kids have kids now. One year we had 26 to dinner....gives me the shakes just thinking about it at the moment...lol.
This year me and hubby are thinking of giving it a miss at ours, see if anyone else steps up!!! :whistles:
Well, I increased my Antidepressents yet again on Monday. I am a bit better but sooo not back to myself yet. I have got to see the Psychiatrist on 19th, hopefully I will be better still by then because, if not I have a nasty feeling he may change the AD's and I really do not want to have to go through that.
Went to Tescos with hubby after work I was better than I thought I would be, I could probably of gone in on my own. Now it is Friday again, John will be going out later so i am bit jittery, but this is the 3rd week he has been out and i was okay the other times so thats a positive.
Have a good evening and keep up the good work.
Take care
Sue xxx:hugs:
hello everyone,,,how we all doing ,,,ive been out even though in the begining, i was very panicky,,we didnt go far,,but it was enough when you can feel a panic attack close on your heels,,i made myself nip into asda,,without my trolley,,i was really dizzy,so rather than give in to my panic,,i told it could win the battle so we didnt go round the shop,,but i made myself go into the cafe get mine and hubbys drink and something to eat, while he went to papers, we sat calmly and didnt rush,,so panic may of won the battle but i won the war lol,, well done on tescos sue,,hope you didnt spend to much lol,,i know the hubby going out thingy well,,i think for the first hour im very nervy,,but after that i realise the remotes mine,,so i make free with it,,costume drama overload,,theresa x
Hi everyone
Hope everyone is okay. I think you all are doing really well.
I`ve not posted on this thread for a while but i`m happy to say I have made a little bit of progress since my last post but not as much as i`d like. I haven`t been feeling too good for the last few days so I hope that passes soon.
As I mentioned in my earlier post i`m getting a puppy soon well on the 19th of last month I went to see it. I had to travel for over 3 hours in the car just to get there and then 3 hours back again which is the furthest I have travelled since my anxiety started, but it was worth it. I did`nt sleep much the night before for worrying about it and really didn`t think I was going to be able to do it. I decided it was time to bite the bullet and just do it I mean what`s the worst thing that could have happened, i`d just have a panic attack like I have done so many times and survived.
I`ve only been out once since then so I guess i`ve had a little bit of a setback so starting from tomorrow I am going to try my hardest to go out at least once eveyday. I`ll post and let you all know how I get on.
I`m due to start a self esteem group on the 13th, i`m really looking forward to it but dreading it at the same time. Well I guess that`s everything for now.
Cheryl
well done cheryl,,your so lucky getting a puppy,,my puppys now 8 months old lol,,
Hi teez thanks
Lol I`m getting my puppy on the 24th, she`s a yorkshire terrier. What kind of dog is your puppy?
Cheryl :)
hi everyone,
well my internet seems to be ok for now??????? my daughter came from uni and pressed loads of buttons, did lots of tutting ( i'm sure i heard her mention old people and technology!!! ) and hey presto it works! maybe i should just grow old gracefully and admit i'm losing touch with technolgy!
How is everyone anyway? glad to see you are all pushing forward and keeping up the fight. i feel like i've not really moved forward at all this week in fact i feel like ive gone backwards as i've been really stressed. might not of helped that i was due on as i'm always worse then and i've also been under the weather with a cold and forced myself to keep going to work. so now i've got two choices. i either keep feeling sorry for myself and keep making excuses not to do things or i give myself a kick up the bum and start again. that'll be another bruise then!!!
Right so tomorrows task will be to push myself a bit harder. i'm thinking of going on the exercise bike for at least half an hour a night as ive read in lots of posts that exercise is supposed to help. i think it burns off the adrenaline that builds up in our bodies. can't do any harm to give it a go.
lets all give ourselves a target a day, only something small and achievable and without putting any pressure on. have a think about it.
Chat tomorrow. i'm so pleased to have my internet working again!!!
take care
our over large puppy cheryl is a rotty x staffy mix,,full of mischief,,and driving me to distraction,,,. Nice to see you back julie,,,,i know the tutting oh to well my sons a computer enginer,,i drive him up the wall,,,he thinks i should know my way round a puter, by now lol, . I didnt venture far today as my stooopid doctor gave me penicillian,,which im alergic to,,had very interesting night last night,,today im just very tired and achy so ,,didnt do much,,made myself visit our local aldis,,just so i got some air and kept in practice,,hope you all sleep well ladies ,,theresa x
had a lovely day today ladies,,it was beautiful here ,,sun had its hat on,,so we had a nice slow walk round a garden centre,,my head was very muzzy,,but i was too busy being nosey to worry,,,i was given a lovely box of crochet books from a lady on freecycle,,and even knocked on the door myself ,,hubby normally has to do this for me lol,,,we did some visiting,,and i enjoyed my time out while the sun shone,,had a bump back down to reality ,,as i come back and cleaned out my sixteen buns lol,,ready for our short caravan break in kent,,with hubby and our dog kaito,
I hate Agoraphobia its one of the worse imho. Any Tips to get over it :blush:
MissChampers
06-10-09, 12:50
I'm the same as some of you guys. I find queuing in the supermarket unbearable, the hairdressers, dentist, doctors, sitting in a restaurant or anywhere where I feel trapped. The strange thing with me though, is I can get on a train or bus and travel to London or any city on my own and get on tube trains, yet I struggle to walk 5 mins up the road to the supermarket.
sb001f8994
06-10-09, 17:26
Hi everyone,
Hope you all had a good weekend and are feeling fit and healthy.
Ive been to Somerfield today and did a bit more. I normally just dash to the sweet counter grab whatever, pay and dash out. Today I browsed up the first aisle, spoke to a few shoppers and then waited in a queue and had a little chat with the assistant. I was in there about fifteen mins, much better than my normal two!
Also had an afternoon of visitors, lots of chat, a really good day.
When do you go on your break Teez?
Ozpanic, tips for getting over it? I think babysteps helps me best. Doing little thinigs over and over again till I no longer fret about them and then go a little further. Its taken a long time for me to get to the supermarket, pub and small journeys in the car but not so long ago I was stuck in the house.
MissChampers, Im not good in queues and I always have to know where all the exits are for a quick getaway. I couldnt get a train though, Im just about good in the car!
Take care all,
Carol x
i was meant to go on hols yesterday carol but hubby just didnt want to go lol well makes a change from me no wanting to go :roflmao:
Alabasterlyn
08-10-09, 10:14
Hi everyone, I'm feeling really anxious right now as I have got a dentist appointment this evening. I have already cancelled once and this is a new surgery, for me anyway, that is about a 15min drive away and I'm just terrified :ohmy:
As I can't get there during the daylight I am having to go private, which means £61 just for a first time checkup :scared15:
Like many people with anxiety I only go to the dentist when I have to so I'm worried what this new one will say. I'm also worried what she will be like. I hate change and would have gone to my usual dentist which is just a minutes walk from me, but couldn't get an evening appointment.
I hate this bloody illness :weep:
where is everybody lol,,ive had an interesting week,,we did a big shop yesterday,,and although we managed ,,i found it hard going,,especially when we were at the checkout,,i felt really whooooooozy,,then hubby started talking about my 5 months of hell having chemo,,which as we all know,,past memories can set us off,,so i was clinging, to my trolley by then for dear life lol, everything going weird an wonderful,,,you know when you hear things wayyyy of in the distance,, thank goodness we were nearly finished,,but hubby took this time to have a lovely convo with till lady lol arghhhhhh just hurry up,but we went in to the cafe to have a drink,,and i felt much much better, didnt help someone fed me wheat the night before,,and im a celiac,so i was shaking,,and my stomach was swollen and hellish,,:D, but still i walked my dogs after and felt fine xxxx theresa
BabyRachel
08-10-09, 10:39
Wow. Firstly Id just like to say as a new baby to this site I am sooo glad I found it. Hearing other peoples stories and advice and giving support and advice has been helpful and a big relief. Sometimes when I get panicy I like to think about how I'm not alone in this ongoing fight that feels like it is killing me.
I wouldn't exactly say I have agoraphobia but I would say I get agoraphobic because of my panic/anxiety. I get so worried about leaving my house, going to college, going to the shops, getting in the car is also really bad. Each morning I wake up and wish wish wish I could just stay at home all day and not have to leave my comofort zone. All day I remind myself that I will be home in 8 hours, 4 hours, only two hours and I'm home. Then it just repeats like this every day. Some days I don't leave because I'm just too panicy about what could happen.
Sorry for the long boring post. Im not trying to hijack it I promise. hehe. I think I will try the book Julie has been reading - it sounds like its been a help for her and I need all the help I can get.
One other thing - I LOVE hearing people mention their husbands/wives/partners. I've been alone for a long time and it sort of gives me hope that amid the haze one day I will find someone right for messed up me.
Thanks for reading.. Hope I didn't bore you with my life story. xx
sb001f8994
08-10-09, 11:55
Good morning all,
Hope everything goes well at the dentist Lyn and Teez you survivied the dreaded queue at the supermarket...well done! Not done too much the past day and have no plans for today, prob just a little trip in the car with my dad. And for some reason, best known to him, my hubby isnt speaking to me. Im not letting this get me down, I feel very good, the sun is shining and I am at peace with the world!
Hi BabyRachel and welcome to our group. It really helps and inspires me to hear all the stories here, its good to know you're not alone and it's nice to have people who understand spur you on and offer support, advice and understanding. Please keep fighting your anxiety and going out, its very easy to stay at home, I should know Ive spent the last six years more or less house bound and now Im trying my hardest to get out into the world and re join society. My nice safe home became my prison and I didnt live, I just existed. You are doing really well every day going out and staying out, you are not giving into your anxiety, you are fightiing it, well done.
Hope everyone else is well, take care all.
Carol x
Hi everyone :)
Teez - Hope you have a better day. How are you now?
Hi Rachel - What is the book that you were recommended? I need to read back through the messages lol
I had the worst day yesterday with agoraphobia & feeling like life was passing me by, I could not get out no matter how much self talk I did. Today I am going to try again to get out. I have to but today I will have my partner with me later on so that will help.
I look like a frog today from all the crying I did yesterday :lac:
Hope everyone has a better day today
Alabasterlyn
08-10-09, 12:58
Carol, thanks for wishing me well at the dentist, I will let you know how I get on. Sorry that your husband isn't speaking to you, is he usually like that?
Rachel, welcome to this thread. I only just worked out how to 'subscribe' to it as before I kept trying to find it and couldn't, silly me.
Teez, well done for queuing in the supermarket. I hate them so much I get my main shopping delivered as it takes too long to go through the checkout.
Poppy, I can totally empathise with how you feel about life passing you by. I have felt like that for far too many years to wish to remember. I am just glad that I got married and had my son when I was very young as there is no way I could have done it once my agoraphobia really took hold.
It sounds like we are all trying to push ourselves to go out. On Sunday my other half decided he wanted to go out and buy a magazine from our local Borders shop which is on one of those retail parks. I was fine till we got stuck in a traffic jam where the actual shop was. We couldn't even turn around and go home as it was a single file of traffic with tons of cars vying for a few places. I can't say I enjoyed it at all and kept hoping that I wouldn't panic. Later on we went out for a drive in our old classic convertible. Now awhile ago there is no way on earth I would have gone out in broad daylight in full view of everyone, but I surprise myself at how the roar of the engine and the wind in my hair is such a distraction that I don't think about being anxious. Then I get home and find I can't even walk around the corner to the local shops, makes no logical sense at all
:scared15:
sb001f8994
08-10-09, 15:50
Tis me again!
Thanks Poppy, I am having a good day so far! Hope you manage to get out today, we tend to worry of all the things that may go wrong instead of focusing on all the good things we feel when we have achieved something.
Yes Lyn, unfortunately my hubby is a moody so and so and has had at least five mid life crisises in the past ten years! I can imagine how you felt in that traffic jam with no escape, it just shows you we can do it when we have to. Roar of the engine and wind in your hair sounds very romantic, my hubby has a motorbike (bought in one of his crisises!) and is constantly asking me to hop on, it doesnt conjour up the same romantic image as yours....face squashed up in a helmet, scared rigid on a too fast, noisy death trap!
Oh well I have just enough time to jump in the bath before I do tea, Ive been mega busy today having a clear out, why do we hoard so much rubbish?!
Have a good evening all and take care.
Carol x
Alabasterlyn
08-10-09, 16:48
Hi Carol, I can just picture you on the back of a motorbike, you described it very clearly :D
What is it with men and their mid life crisis stuff. Mine has had a few too. They usually end up costing a fortune as they always some expensive hobby. Before the car it was model trains, I hate to think what could be next with him :ohmy:
It's a nice feeling when you have a clear out isn't it. My other half is a real hoarder, I keep finding things from when we moved in our house 11yrs ago. I am always throwing things away as I can't bear clutter.
i need a go in a convertable now,,havnt in years,,or a motor bike ,i used to have my own,,,oh where did she go,,lol, ive had a much calmer day thankyou ladies,,can you give me your names,,i know we have a carol , julie and a sue,,its nice to call you by your names plus its easier,,mines theresa,,or treez to my friendsx
BabyRachel
08-10-09, 23:28
Thanks for the warm welcome everyone :)
Poppy I can't remember the name of the book of the top of my head but it is in the first post in this thread. Just backtrack a bit and you should find it.
Im very relieved toda because I didn't have to get up early to go to college but I AM going to dinner tonight with an old friend. Trying to push myself to go..
x
Alabasterlyn
09-10-09, 14:03
Theresa, you asked for names, mine is Lyn :D
I am having quite a fraught day today as I had quite a nightmare time at the dentist. I was there an hour, it cost me £95 for the checkup and x rays and everything I heard from this dentist was totally contradicting what my last dentist had said and I just came out feeling totally confused. I need to find at least £3,000 to get the work done and I'm really not sure I want to pay out that much :weep:
Rachel, hope you manage to go out for your dinner with your friend tonight. Do you not like eating out or is it just the going out part that you aren't keen on? I know a lot of us hate sitting around in restaurants waiting to be served. I am always anxious until I get to the pudding by which time I start to relax :D
oh blimy lynn thats an awful lot of money,,where do they think we get it from,,how are you now less stressed, hope your all well ladies,,bye for now theresa x
BabyRachel
10-10-09, 07:41
Lyn I did end up going out! Very proud of myself for pulling it together and going. I just don't like going out but when it involves food I get a bit nervous about what new food may do to my system. Ended up freaking out in the car on the way home thinking I was going to be sick but I was all in my head and after I got home I was fine.. :)
And that IS an awful lot of money.. I need to get some dental work done myself but it really isn't at the top of my list at the moment..
x
Alabasterlyn
10-10-09, 10:44
Rachel, so glad that you managed to go out for your meal, well done. It's odd how we are when going out to eat, I feel like it's more of a torture than a pleasure yet everyone I know who doesn't have anxiety sees going out for a meal as a treat :ohmy:
I got my treatment plan in the post from the dentist today and my figures were quite accurate, the costs are £3,030 and they want 50% up front! I can't do that purely as I'm not sure I will be able to go through with the whole treatment. Knowing me I will get one tooth sorted out and stop going :huh:
Hope everyone else is having a good weekend, weather doesn't seem too good here right now :mad:
hello ladies ,,how we all doing ,i had a rough start to my day, as i was woken up several times in the night yobs,,i live in a rough part of Essex. i woke up with miss beats so that was it i was convinced it was all down hill, but i went out visiting,,a bit scarey when you never know how your gonna feel one minute from another,,but the sun shone and all in all it went very well actually.Rachel im in your shoes tomorrow hubbys birthday and we,re out to dinner, with friends, arghhhhhh, being a ceoliac , i have to watch everything i eat,,but you never know if they have cooked anything with wheat in next to or near my food,,so i can fully understand what you mean,,still i,ll get through it im sure,,hope your ok lynn , carol , take care of yourselves theresa xxxxx
sandramick
10-10-09, 20:29
:hugs:
hi all
everyone is doing really well :yesyes:
i had not such good week , had really long an heavy period and it seems to have set my anx off worse again !
feel absolultly knackard :blush:
i did do one amazing thing i went to the hair dressers !!! one of my big fears (only go about every 18 months cut it myself in between )was horrid but glad i did it especially since i was so low . :yahoo:
keep up the fight all
love sandra
xxxxxxxxxxx
:bighug1:
sandra i had to leave you a little well done ,,i know how hard this is when your feeling ok,,but after a rough week,,thats so brave, theresa:hugs:
:yesyes:Hi All
Sorry i haven't been around this week, I did try to post earlier in the week, typed out my post and it disappeared....grrrr, i have not idea where, and it has just happened again....double grrrr, if it happens again it will be another week before i post...lol.
Hi Rachael, welcome to the club, well done leaving home each day when you are anxious and for going out for a meal, glad you were fine after the car journey home. I find that i can do more some days than others, weird isn't it.
Hope hubby is speaking to you now Carol, my is opposite ...annoyingly happy, sure he does it to annoy me ...lol. I can't understand you passing up the chance to have a squashed face and flat hair though!!
Sorry your days was so bad that you couldn't go out Poppy, hope you made it the next day without any anxiety, don't give up you'll get there.
Glad you enjoyed the wind in your hair Lyn and was able to forget anxiety for a while. I went to my daughters in the week, on the way home I realised that I hadn't thought about being anxious for the whole hour and a half we were there. That is a lot of money for dental work, they charge sooooo much now.
Theresa, glad you had a calmer day. Hope you have a good time at Hubbys birthday meal. I only live 10 mins from you by car, Rainham.
Well done getting to the hairdressers Sandra, especially on a bad day. My anxiety used to get worse at that time of the month, but I don't have that problem now:yesyes: thanks to a hysterectomy and ovaries removed.
Well Ovary, they could only get one out, the one that was left behind was described to me as " a little shriveled thing caught up in adhesions" Yeeew what a horrible thought....lol.
I am still moving forward on the anxiety and depression front, although not fast enough for me. :lac: I have been into Tesco a couple of times on my own now while hubby has waited in the car, and I have drove on my own to the local post office and went in and i was ok :yesyes:.
Anyway keep up the good work everyone.
Take care
Sue xxxx:hugs:
BabyRachel
10-10-09, 22:03
Sue it never moves along fast enough does it! I was thinking that this morning. I always wake up anxious, my brain goes on hyperdrive and can't stop thinking about every anxious thing. If only we could shut down the anxiety part of our brain completly... OH heaven!
Sandra I'm glad you went to the hairdressers even though you were having a bad time. Feels good once you've been able to get through something your scared of.
Theresa at least you will have your hubby there to support you! I can totally sympathise how anxious you must get before eating out. Be very firm with the waitstaff, and if you get a reaction from badly prepared food - SUE SUE SUE! Think of celebrating your Husband and I'm sure you will be able to pull through it.
Lyn maybe the fact of paying half up front will be a sort of incentive to get you to go each time. Sounds hard now, but once you have done it once and nothing bad goes wrong it may give you a bit of courage to go back and get the rest done. I feel like such a hipocrite, every morning before I go to college I say to myself I have done this so many times and nothing has gone wrong, there is no reason to get so anxious. But still, every morning i hell for me going and i wish wish wish i didn't have to. Maybe I'm not offering the best advice... haha.
xx
dinner went better than i even thought,,i had loads of the old miss beats,,but i tryed focusing on the convos of hubbys friends which really helped,,i didnt even get food down me ,,something i always manage,i had a lady turn up to rehome one of my rescue buns,,and we hit it off straight away , for me this is good as i very worried around new people,encase i have a panic attack in front of them.sue i know we dont live far from each other ,,seems odd that theres more of us out there doesnt it lol,,and there was mark too all in this little area makes me wonder how many more of us there are. lol
IrinaSmirnova
12-10-09, 04:40
Hi all!
After the panic attack in the street (hard to breathe and disruptions in the heart) I developed agoraphobia. Now I can not walk alone - there is anxiety, then the strong fear, difficulty breathing, heart beating strongly and ....... extrasystoles. I do not know what to do to have passed. :weep:
BabyRachel
12-10-09, 08:35
Im sorry you get agoraphobia too... Its horrible that anxiety has caused us to live this way... I really wish there was some magical cure out there to fix it....
Big cuddle..
Hi
Just a quick message...after a horrid week with agoraphobia last week and not being able to get out the door, I went out today, on my own,there and back without no help and I didn't need to be speaking to my boyfriend on my mobile or having someone with me - I listened to relaxing calming music all the way there and back and even though I didn't feel comfortable, I did it.
Just thought I would share this because even though we can feel really held back sometimes with agoraphobia, it doesn't mean we can never overcome it, even it is just for a day.
I feel exhausted now! lol
Hi Ladies
Hope everyone is doing ok.
I agree Theresa there are lots of people around who suffer like us lot, i have found once i start chatting to people and the subject comes up everyone seems to know someone with some kind of anxiety problem...we are not a unique as we think...lol. Glad your meal out was a success for you.
Welcome Irina, sorry you are having a bad time at the moment. As difficult as it is at the time try to concentrate on your breathing when you feel anxiety coming on, I was told to breath calmly to the count of 4 on the in breath and 5 on the out breath, i found this helped to slow my heart down and fell more in control. Hope you have some better days soon.
Rachel, I am with you on the magic cure....if only. Hope your days are getting better. Keep up the good work.
Poppy well done going out alone after such a bad week. It so much harder sometime isn't it. I can imagine exhausted you feel, the effort can be draining.
I am still going in the right direction with the anxiety and depression. I am feeling more able to cope and so start to tackle the agoraphobia a bit more vigorously.
Keep taking those baby steps on the road to recovery girls, we will beat this monster.
Take care everyone
Suexxx:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:
hello everyone,,well i stayed calm today while i had my mammo,,i was tempted to run nasty hospital gown or no,,but i thought well you best find out once and for all,,as i developed pain in my other breast while away last month, but its done,,i promised myself my favourite jelly bean factory sweeties ,and ive eaten the lot lol . Poppy well done ,,thats brilliant , i often listen to my fave music if i have to go anywhere i not used to,,welcome aboard irene,,hope we can all give you some support.
well its been a stunning autumn, day,when we first went out to deliver some freecycle stuff, IT as everyone knows i call my panic and stress , tried everything, started with the palps,,and after 30 minutes of that,,it gave up cos i stayed calm and quiet,,then we tried missbeats,,i gave myself a talking too told it to bog off,,which funny enough it did,,then it tried dizzy and breathless attacks,,which again i ignored,,within an hour id got my window open,,breathing in the glorious warm afternoon air, looking all around at the beautiful colours of the trees,,i didnt want to come home,,so we found a garden centre and had a cuppa,,then slowly walked round and looked at the already stocked up christmas stuff,,that was scarey lol,
sb001f8994
13-10-09, 19:50
Hi everyone,
We are all doing so well, even if there are little hiccups along the way...these are sent to test us and make us just that little bit stronger.
Ive done ok today, went to Somerfiield, no panic at all and not even a raised heart beat! Im not getting too blaze about it though I know today I might have just got lucky. There's still a mountain for me to climb but Im getting a bit closer to the summit!
Well done everyone, we could all do with some of Theresa's favourite jelly bean factory sweeties!!!
Take care all,
Carol x
BabyRachel
13-10-09, 23:40
I've had a pretty good couple of days everyone! Little to no anxiety, for the first time in months. Its a relief. I think its because my dosage of lexapro has been changed and its starting to work much more effectivly.
I say that it has been a good few days altho I'm at home today. My IBS started to flair up this morning for no apparant reason and to not go into to much detail I just didn't feel confident going to college today.
I was wondering, how many of us are able to go to work successfully and hold down a job? x
IrinaSmirnova
14-10-09, 08:47
thanks :blush:
you are all very nice people :hugs:
BabyRachel
15-10-09, 10:30
I think you are all very nice people too. Its been really good talking to you all... I look forward to it each day in fact :)
Hey everyone
Sounds asthough we are all doing pretty well give or take the odd hiccup.
Well done Teresa beating IT. Do you go to Thurrock Garden Centre? I love their christmas stuff. Big kid at heart...lol.
How are you doing Irina, hope you are feeling a bit better.
I am glad your anxiety has died down a bit Rachel, it is just so frustrating when you want to do something or go somewhere and it starts up. I work, I just managed to only be off for one week this time, although years ago when I last had depression/anxiety etc i was off for 6 weeks.
Wow Carol Sommerfields and no panic, i am soooo impressed. That is really great, just goes to show it can be achieved.
I am still on the up, the depression and anxiety is getting less and I am completely free of it quite a bit of the time now. Although like you Carol I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch. I think the AD's are probably at the right dose now as I feel that have the enery to tackle the agoraphobia now.
Anyway keep up the good work everyone.
Chat soon
Sue xxxx
hello all,,had a bit of an odd day today,,started out ok,,then hubby took me out to get some fresh air,,but i felt panic in the background,,but it just didnt happen,,even when i challenged it, what was that about lol,,i dunno if i like that or not, yes sue i go to thurrock garden centre regular,,i love gardening,,oh and they stock my fave yankie candles, . we also go into chestnut garden centre which is two minutes before ,, hows everyone we all still going on our little ventures , hope your all ok theresa x
BabyRachel
16-10-09, 03:38
Had a bit of a funny day a few days ago.. Missed college because I was having some bathroom issues... bit of a phobia of mine... Went to the doctor today and theyre increasing my medication because we're still trying to sort out the correct dosage.. Sigh..
Hi Theresa
How are you today? I am glad you didn't give into the panic.
I love garden centres and find some of them really relaxing places. I have quite a few Yankee candles.They smell gorgeous.
I have been ok this week - totally different to last week thankfully - and have ventured out a few times and have been around the supermarket on my own, which is something I don't like - its mainly the checkout part I don't like and the bright lights.
I find with my agoraphobia that one day I feel like I have really improved and the next I am really bad with it. It is never constant either way. Strange.
How long have you had agoraphobia for?
Sorry I am rambling...its late lol
Hugs to you:hugs:
hiya poppy ive been agoraphobic so long its hard to remember,,i was in my early twenties, when it started im now fourty seven, id say at least twenty three years, but dont panic,,i had a big gap where i was as i call it normall,,lol, its only that ive had loads of health and personal probs that its back, yes like yourself i have normal days, where i can do anything,,well as long as the cars nearby,,good days the supermarkets nothing,,bad days its a living hell,,yes and checkout every aggie persons nightmare,,it is deff the lights the drive me to distraction , i shake, i find myself looking for the entrance. its not easy is it,,but im giving IT, a good talking to and keep making myself do the things that worry me,,it is the only way,, poppy we,re all in this together and thats such a big help,, take care hun theresa :hugs:
BabyRachel
19-10-09, 09:26
Your right Theresa, the only way is to keep making yourself do the things that worry you. You've gotta push yourself to win over it, otherwise it will win over you and that is just bad... Leads to more anxiety and agoraphobia...
Ahh the lives of us... We should make a film.. x
film about us,i,d love to see who would play me,,and plus ive never seen a aggie sufferer portrayed,correctly on the tele,lol, we should all write a chapter or two in a book,,aggie sufferers united, or places not to visit lol,,you gotta laugh, ive had a rough few days think ive picked up a stomach bug,,but i went out yesterday for a while ,,had terrible chest pain on getting in though,,but it stopped with 15 minutes,,ive managed to walk my dogs today,,but where ive not eaten for a couple of days i feel shakey, so thats about all im managing, still least im still getting out theresa x
BabyRachel
20-10-09, 06:37
I want either Gemma Ward, Michelle Tratchenburg or preferably Sienna Miller. Or myself. Can I play myself? hehe
well, that was an improvement anyway, i had been indoors for a week,,feeling rubbishy, didnt go anywhere except to walk my dogs out on the green at the back of us,and that was a trail in itself lol,when we did venture into asda,s on thursday i went to pieces ,,shaking,heart races,,the weird thing that happens with my eyes, hubby walked off with my trolley and i felt like i was gonna fall over,,i had the lot,,i couldnt wait to get out,,well today although my heart was a little fast,,i was ok,even in the que at the tills,,even sat for an hour round mums while he visited his friends,,,that send me into a panic normally,,but i was fine. i know of old that if i stay in for more than a day it makes it hard to go out for a while.theresa x
Hi Everyone hope you are all doing well.
I was doing extremely well, actually could see myself doing things that i haven't been able to do over the last 4 months...that was until last Thursday i have felt cr***y ever since.
Saw the psychiatrist last Monday told him how well I was doing sods law that three days later there I was awake early tummy churning, dread blah, blah, blah. After 4 weeks on the maximum dose of sertraline I didn't expect this, especially after I asked the psychiatrist if he thought i would have any more ups and downs and he said no.:weep:
Sorry to hear you have had a bad week Theresa, glad you managed to go out tho. I went to Thurrock Garden Centre yesterday, my Hubby kind of talked me into it, in all fairness it was my suggestion last week when i felt soooo much better. I was better than I thought I would be especially as Hubby wanted lunch there.....just the thought of lunch sent panic coursing through me. But I did it, anxious at first but then it gradually died down and i actually enjoyed some of the time there. Got carried away and spent a fortune on plants, (that'll teach him...lol) still hubby and me enjoyed planting them today. So money well spent I guess.
How is the increased dosage of meds suiting you Rachel, have they helped at all. Hope they have.
Anyway take care all, we will get there by hook or by crook as my mum used to say.
Sue xxx:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:
sb001f8994
26-10-09, 13:29
Hi Everyone,
Sorry I havent been on here for a while, not a great deal has happened really. I've still been doing my almost daily trip in the car and have managed the supermarket a few times but only for odds and ends.
I had a good Friday (it was my birthday) and I got spoilt. Saturday was another good day and Sunday day was great,then hubby came home very drunk and ruined my happy time...men, what do we need them for?!!!
Today Im a happy bunny again and HE can go and piddle off coz he's not spoiling my day, no siree!!! Its as if every time I get myself in a happy place he has to come and ruin it.
No more moaning, I promise! Everyone here seems ok, Theresa glad your feeling ok now and Sue Im so glad you got carried away and spent a lot of money! Poppy, the good day bad syndrome is awful and I think it affects most of us at some point. And Rachel I think making a film would be a good idea and I would get my daughter to play me...she's such a drama queen!
Take care everyone and a happy day is wished to all.
Carol x
Hi Carol
Happy birthday for last Friday :flowers: I am glad you enjoyed it all until your husband got drunk lol Men!!!
Theresa, how are you feeling? I hope you are feeling a bit better?
I am still going through the 1 day good 1 day bad thing. I think I felt better during the summer because since autumn has arrived I seemed to have gone downhill :( Wonder if a lightbox would help?
I have decided to stop shopping at the supermarket we usually go to because the lighting is too bright lol and I am going to another nearby where the lighting is much more subdued - bit more expensive but its much more relaxing in there, so it is worth it.
Theresa - I agree with what you wrote about if you stay in for a day then it seems harder to go out the next time. I find that happens.
I did not realise that you have had agoraphobia for such a long time, but I am glad that you hade some time where you didnt have it.
Do you think anyone ever really overcomes agoraphobia totally for life?
I love garden centres - I feel really at ease in them. Plants and gardening make us feel better don't you think? Its the same as woods and the countryside too.
Ok I am rambling....:wacko:
I hope you are all having a good day today!
sb001f8994
26-10-09, 18:51
Hi Poppy,
Thank you I did have a good birthday and my hubby often gets drunk and is a nightmare...but after 26 years you'd think Id be used to it!
Ive been agoraphobic off and on for over 30 years...more off than on Im glad to say. It reared its ugly head again about six years ago and after a very unpleasent time with my hubby four years ago I decided to do something about it. Its taken a very long time but after three years of being more or less housebound Im doing much better. And yes I do think you can be fully recovered, a friend of mine was housebound for a few years and has been to Florida, learnt to drive, been on loads of holidays and travels here to visit from Birmingham, which is a few hours away. At the moment I feel like I will never be 'normal' but Im hopinig I will one day just walk out of the door without even thinkiing about it. I also believe Ive gotten into such a rut that Im finding it very difficult to get out of. Im lucky as Im not depressed and I dont panic or feel anxious very often, I think I just fear the fear...if that makes any sense?
The good day bad day can be a nightmare, I dont get that now. I found I was planning my week to match the days! I wouldnt have visitors on 'bad' days and it got very out of hand. It just seemed to go away without me even realising it. I do get days when I am blue and fed up watching the world pass me by but I stay positive and people who know me will always see me smiling. I hope you can get pased this good day bad day stage very soon, sending you many hugs.
Take care,
Carol x
hiya all,,ive had a good day today so far ,,but it is only 11.30, lol, i got up at 6.30 and walked my dogs,,took my son to work with hubby at seven,,then straight into asdas,,,ohhhhh ladies it was wonderful,,no-one there,,it was empty a shop to myself lol, i wondered round on my own, slowly and enjoying the sense i could do things at my leisure,,no people rushing about,,pushing shoving,,no-one on the loud hailer thingy making me jump outta my skin,,and the lights wernt as harsh either,,i thoughly enjoyed every moment, so a little tip get up real early ,so your still sleepy , to tired to panic,,and visit your local supermarket early before the rush starts it marvelous lol,,. Hiya sue,,i know, that garden centre has a lot to answer for ,,i spend more money in there than id like,,lol, we have lunch and a cuppa in the garden centre just before that,,and where they now know me im ok in there,,take care all theresa x
Hi Everyone
The ups and downs are the pits aren't they Poppy, i find it makes a difference when it is dark early, i miss getting home from work and being able to go in the garden or sit in the conservatory, natural daylight does seem to lift the spirits a bit.
Belated happy birthday Carol, Hubbies and alcohol huh...what a pain..lol.
Glad to hear it doesn't get you down. It is good to be able to have a moan on this thread, get of the chest. :flowers:
Hi Theresa, we usually eat in the garden centre too, i had a brie, apple and mango pannini, yum!! :D John forgot to pick up a certain bushy thing he wanted last Saturday so we have got to go back again, oh dear...sounds expensive.
Glad you enjoyed the Supermarket, I had a wander around Tescos a couple of weeks ago on my own and enjoyed the freedom of being able to do just that, browse instead of scurrying round.
I am pleased to say that on Monday I felt slightly better than I did over the weekend, and today I feel better still. Not back to where I was a week ago but hopefully this down few days was just a blip and I am onwards and upwards again.
I spoke with the therapist today and she suggested that the last few low days may have a delayed reaction to the previous weekend, when my grandson cut his chin, and it was all a panic and hubby and me went up to the hospital for 2-3 hrs to be with him, as he and both his parent suffer from needle phobia and him and his dad have a blood phobia, not good considering he was covered in blood and had to have 5 injections so his chin could be stitched. But who knows with this unpredictable condition.
Take care everyone
Chat soon
Sue xxxxx:bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:
hiya ,,its been an odd week,,had my ups an downs like we all do, ive been out and about,but its been harder going than the week before.im going away to the lake district in 3 weeks so i have to keep pushing myself or six hour drive with four of us and a very large heavy dog and me panicking isnt gonna be much fun lol
hiya dont know if anyones reading this anymore,,but i,ll carry on regardless , had my ups and downs again this week, a few real downers,,but ive got through all the same, we,ve been going out most days and despite not feeling my best ive been ok,,i even pushed myself to do asdas my pet hate,,even though it was packed to the rafters,,i went to the fast lane,,but i was going in for my mum,,and im always more stubborn in my resolve to get the job done if its for someone else,,how are people coping with their christmas shopping,,i did a little back in the summer but i still have loads to do,,
sb001f8994
06-11-09, 22:05
Hi everyone,
I was thinking that thersa so I stopped posting. Glad you got through your downs, I was very down on Wednesday but decided to pick myself up as nobody even noticed! Im still only at the first aisle of somerfield but Im doing it now without much bother and only a slightly elevated heat rate. Im even managing to stand in a small queue and converse without getting flustered and going bright red!
Im doing very well on the xmas shopping front, nearly sorted now but I cheated and done it online. Even when I was getting out I did alot of my xmas shopping online, especially the kids stuff, waiting in queues and then to be told its sold out...how frustratiing and annoying!
I hope you are all well and still doing the baby steps.
Take care,
Carol x
Hi everyone
Sorry you are having a bit of bad time at the moment theresa. It is good that you are still going out though. It is hard though when you feel low.
We will have to get to the garden centre one of these days and have that cuppa and a chat.
I guess it is good to consolidate on the progress you are making at sommerfields carol, it is best to be able to do something with ease and then move on to the next challenge. I have been christmas shopping on line tonight as well. I can go to the shops with hubby but weekends are packed and weeknight I feel too tired after work to concentrate on christmas lists.
I have been reading the thread but i haven't posted on here recently. I have had a bit of a week of it really. Last Saturday I notice i had much more energy and less anxiety. Sunday I felt good, back to my old self, even taking an interest in Christmas, something I hadn't managed before.
Hubby had had a chest infection all week, on antibiotics and his asthma pump etc, I went to bed about midnight on Sunday (had taken a sleeping pill and it was working!!!) John used his pump and decided to take some cough mixture, by the time he had walked from the bedbroom to the bathroom his throat had closed up and he couldn't breath, he was making a terrible noise.
Anyway to cut a long story short, ambulance, hospital, nebuliser after nebuliser and a battery of tests, steroids, no sleep all night, John was allowed out at 8.am the next morning. What a scare though, good job my husband doesn't panic...still not sure if it was an allergic reaction or an asthma attack, or if his throat spasmed as he was coughing so much. He still has a chest infection and started another course of antibiotic today. This week we have both been shattered. The good news is I am still holding up okay and managed to keep my anxiety to minimum considering.
Anyway sorry for going on a bit.
Onwards and upwards
Take care
Sue xxx:bighug1: :bighug1:
sb001f8994
07-11-09, 00:47
Hi Sue,
You have had a stressful week but Im glad you have got through it and your hubby is on the mend. How did you cope with such an emergency? Im not sure I would be able to but I have heard that you get an inner strength. Here's hoping that I do as Im a one for running a mile in a crisis or the anxiety gets the better of me and I laugh hysterically quickly followed by crying uncontrollably...see not the best person to have around!
I am enjoying my little journeys to somerfield, I feel like Im achieving something. I know Im not progressing much by way of getting further into the shop but going in almost anxiety free and not even thinking negative thoughts on my way there.
Hope you have a good weekend Sue.
Carol x
BabyRachel
07-11-09, 06:16
Hi everyone.
Sorry for not posting as of late. I don't know whats gotten into me. I've been pretty busy with anxiety and college. Most nights I just come home and sleep butnow its the weeekend and Im cooped up inside and feeling quite low and depressed.
I started seeing a new psychologist who seems to be better than my old one. And she has more appointments avaliable so I can see her weekly which is good. I've only seen her twice but hopefully in time it will make a difference.
I think the depression im experiencing this weekend is related to pms which is half good because at least it has a cause but still half bad because I feel depressed.
I wish I could just go out with some friends and have a good time. I feel like life and the world are just passing me by. I watch my best friend go out with his mates and have such a busy fun life and I have nothing in comparison. It makes me jealous of him which to be honest is a horrible thing. I should be happy for him but I just can't be. I wish I was out in the world having fun and forgetting my worries, instead of being cooped up inside this house with nothing to do.
Ah. Sorry for my depressing rant. Hope the rest of you don't feel down after reading that load!!
Hope everyone has a better weekend than I. xx
sb001f8994
07-11-09, 13:33
Hi Rachel,
Theres nothing wrong with a rant...good for the soul! I know what you mean about life passing you by but it will get better. Im sitting here alone as my hubby and daughter have gone shopping for xmas clothes, how I longed to go. I just want to be part of a 'normal' life again. Its times like this when I get angry at myself for allowing this damn curse to rule my life but fixing it isnt that easy is it? You are going in the right direction with your weekly psychologists visits and you are busy with your college work.
Your pmt will be short lived and soon your depression will lift. Do you think perhaps your feeling more sensitive to watching your friends having fun may be due to your pmt? I find that things are greatly exagerated at this time.
I hope you enjoy the weekend and that you start feeling better soon.
Take care,
Carol x
BabyRachel
07-11-09, 23:33
Oh yes my pmt does always exaggerate everything. I get quite depressed and horrible at that time of the month... haha.
I wish we all could lead a 'normal' life. It seems unfair that we have to live this way.. Do your hubby and daughter understand your agoraphobia? Id love to be able to find a partner who understood my anxiety. It is seriously my number one goal in life, to have someone who loves me for all of me, anxiety included. I know im 'only young' but hey... Ah..
Best wishes to everyone.
xxxx
hiya ladies,,hope your all well,,how are we all coping with the darker days,,they are making me very depressed,,im finding im having to push myself to go out,at the mo. we popped out for a while today,,just into aldis and next door to poundstretchers,,for some prezzys,,but despite having a dizzy attack in there yesterday i was fine,,the light in theres an aggies nightmare,,one half is really dark ,,the back half is so light it hurts my eyes,, lol, carol keep up the good work in somerfields, its exactly how i started out,,and if im having a bad bad day i stick to the front of shops,,,if ive reached the bread aisle i think ive been good lol, im sorry youve been a bit depressed rachael,,i always got low on my monthlys,,still do around that time and i had all my plumping removed years ago,,doesnt stop the hormones though. sue what a worry , men a always a worry,,blessyou must of been worried,,hope hubbys ok now,just name your day and i,ll work round you for our cuppa ,,i need some yankie candles anyway,,so as soon as your ready, luv theresa xxxxx
Hi all
Theresa I hope you start to have better days soon. I am just going to read all the previous messages to catch up.
I am not sure whether this is a coincidence or not but I have a new little puppy (a rare husky type dog that was very badly treated previously) and he is gorgeous and very lively. I am left on my own looking after him in the day, so I have no choice but to take him for walks.
I take him for walks all over the fields at the back of where I live and the more I have been doing it, the less the agarophobia seems to be, although it is still there. I can get through long walks with the dog without me panicking that I am outdoors. I actually enjoy being out on my own with him, in the fresh air. I feel so much more positive.
I hope it lasts but I really think having a dog to take out on walks rather than always having to have a 'safe person' with me is helping.
Does anyone else feel like this who had/has agoraphobia where a pet has helped them?
i did have an amazing german shepperd called wolf,,who taught himself,,to get me safely across roads,,as i dont know about anyone else ,,but when i panic my eyes play up too,,so he would sit infront of me till the road was clear,,he wouldnt budge if it wasnt,,i learned to rely on him so much,,when he was pts,,i felt my world fall apart i didnt go out on my own again,,now its with hubby or my children,,i do walk our dogs on the field at the back of us,,no matter how i feel,,you cant explain to dogs you cant go out to the toilet,,:roflmao:
BabyRachel
10-11-09, 08:25
Awww thats soooo sweet Teez... I love that story. Animals are wonderful. One afternoon I ws having a slight panic attack and I got chlaustraphobic and went outside.. My normally bouncy overactive beagles just sat with me and let me pet them til I started to feel normal again...
my little jack russel willow ,,,always snuggles right up to me when im anx or upset,,im sure they sense our moods.
Hi
How are you all feeling today?
Awww thats lovely to hear about your dogs. They do sense our moods don't they, like cats do too. My cats always snuggle up to me if I am upset.
I just feel like my puppy has taken my mind off me - maybe its just a temporary thing - but since I have had him, I feel lots better. I hope it lasts!
Teez - I agree, that the long dark depressing grey winters days, do nothing for how we feel, do they? I try and look at winter in a positive way, the colours of the autumn and the whole cosiness of the winter, the snow and the frosts and just how beautiful it can look in winter, but its hard, because I do feel so much better on a summers day. :unsure:
Hi Everyone
I hope you don't mind me joining your thread. I've had periods of agoraphobia through my life with good years and bad years. The best was when I didn't have any PA's and could pretty much do anything but with a few things I found difficult but just did them. The worst was being housebound and pretty much confined to my bedroom.
As for pets I've got 3 cats who are a comfort but after reading how much dogs help I'm considering getting a pup although I dont know how it will work with 3 cats. Do you think it would work or will their be fur up the walls? lol
Also as far as the weather is concerned I must be different because I prefer Autumn and Winter. Can't stand the Summer heat and I always feel I cant breathe! I dont think much of the rain here today though!!
Hope everyone is having a good day.....Lex xxx
Hi Slothette!
Welcome to the thread.:) and of course you are welcome to join in!
How is your agoraphobia at the moment? Has it come back again?
I have only just got my pup (husky type and he is sooo gorgeous - a pure white furball) and already have 2 one year old female cats. Trying to keep the cats and dog from killing each other is a nightmare at the moment :wacko:
I think the dog wants to be friendly, although I am not certain, and he chases the cats but the cats are not happy and spend their time hissing and spitting and running away as fast as they can. Hopefully, eventually they will get on or at least tolerate one another.:bighug1:
Hi Poppy
Thanks for the welcome. I hope your husky furball isn't driving your cats too mad!:D
As for my Aggro as I call it...well I don't think it ever really did go away. I'm not doing too badly at the moment. I'm practising going places on my own and taking baby steps. I can do alot of things I couldnt do like going on the motorway and shopping in supermarkets. I tend to be ok when I'm with someone. Doing it alone is he hard bit.:shrug:
Best wishes.....Lex xxx:bighug1:
BabyRachel
11-11-09, 07:34
Hi Lex, welcome :)
Its nice to have another new friend in this thread.
Its sometimes easer to be around people I find... Ones who understand anyway. They provide good distraction and are such a help at getting you through it... I don't think they even realise how much we love the people who support us..
I have to say guys I am the opposite when it comes to the weather!! I LOVE stormy wintery days.. They make me really happy. The sunshine is nice, but when it is really hot and im out in the heat I get very irritable and moody. Not much fun to be around. And living in Aus, I can't really avoid the sun. Its getting into summer just about now, 35 degree days and I come home with my pale skin burnt and angry for no reason!
xx
big welcome to lex,,hope you find some help and support here,,. Well i have to laugh here,im just in the middle ,,i love the winter one way,,as autumn is stunning and the cosy nights , christmas , but the grey , dark nights can really bring me down,,yet i also hate the hot weather,,my anx is really bad,. so all im left with is spring and autumn lol. does anyone else find it easier to go out night times,,i do especially around christmas when the shop is quieter.
Hi Rachel.....I know what you mean about having people around who understand even if it is on a website as I've never met anyone who has agrophobia in real life if you know what I mean :D
Hi teez......thanks for the welcome. I also think it's easier to go out at night times. I think for me, it's because there's less traffic about. If I'm walking along a busy road the loud traffic noise puts me off. It's loads quieter at night which helps........as for shopping, I much prefer going at quieter times. At Xmas everywhere is packed and I'm much more likely to panic....
Lex xx
BabyRachel
12-11-09, 07:58
I don't really go out at nighttime anymore to be honest.. I used to be a bit of a party girl before my anxiety kicked in again.. Now I don't really have anybody to go out with at nighttime so I just stay home.. Ah. How this changes our lives..
sb001f8994
12-11-09, 08:44
Hi everyone and welcome to Lex,
Not done much this week, my daughters been poorly so we've been confined to barracks! I didnt think Id miss my little journeys but, I think this is a good thing as not so long ago I would look for excuses to stay in.
Rachel you asked if my hubby and daughter understood my agoraphobia, they dont but I think to really understand you have to suffer yourself. They do what they can but my trouble is Im too independant and nobody really knows when Im bad. I tend to smile alot and keep things to myself, thats why coming on here is great to let off steam to people who know how you tick!
I think we should have a national pet day, I would be lost without my cheeky pooch! He knows exactly how I feel before I do and he looks at me with those huge sorry eyes and if he's been naughty I just melt! He's a shi-tzu (sorry cant spell today!!!) and we got him from rescue when he was eight months old, he's now seven and is going through a rebelious stage, my daughter is sixteen and I dont know who is worse, him or her, in his favour he doesnt play deafening music at one in the morning!
Im like you Rachel on the weather, I quite like rainy days and cosy up in front of the fire and these dark nights dont really bother me, if anything I prefer to go out when its dark and the roads are quiet plus there's no husstle and busstle in the shops. I do love the sunshine too but the weather doesnt affect me, its those blasted hormones that get me every month!
Anyway Im off now to do some wifely duties...housework unfortunately!
Stay well and keep up all this good work.
Take care,
Carol x
Hello. I was doing OK with my agrophobia. After 5 years, I was getting out to a (limited) number of places. Now my Dad has been in hospital and I am a wreck again. I've had to take my Mum visiting. The car parks are huge, the corridors confined and crowded, the lifts packed. I've had panic attacks there, before I go and after. Now I feel I want to stay in again and not even do what I could before. People see hospital visiting as such a simple thing, but it's been terrifying for me and I've been exhausted by going. Each visit leaves me shaking and worn out.
At least in the winter there's an excuse to close the curtains and sit tight. My OH does all our food shopping, cards and presents come from online sources. I sometimes wonder if the internet helps or hinders my progress. If I have to clothes shop OH takes me at night when it is quieter. I used to love the summer, but my meds don't agree with sun, so I haven't been able to sit in the garden for 3 years. I do miss that.
Hi Everyone
Carol....thanks for the welcome. Sorry to read that your daughter hasn't been too good this week. Hope she feels better soon.......you were saying that you are independant and don't tell others how you feel. I'm the same as I tend to keep stuff to myself and some relatives dont know the half of it. The people who do know, well I just think theyre sick of hearing it!!.....Over the years I've kept alot of things to myself because I get embarrased. As soon as you mention the "phoba" word, people tend to run for the hills:shrug:
Hi maddie.....sorry about your dad. You must be under a terrible amount of stress as the moment. Is there anyone who can help you out apart from your OH? It is hard when even the simplest things are so difficult for us and other people take these things for granted. You deserve a huge pat on the back though because even though youre panicking and feel like a wreck, youre going ahead and doing it. Well done you!:hugs:
BabyRachel....one day hun you will be that party girl again. Keep on working at it and fighting...dont give in! :hugs:
Lex xxx
hiya everyone,,had an odd kinda week,,havnt been out that much,,which is going to mean next weeks going to be a bundle of laughs:D, when i did go out it was ok,,no major dramas,,so i was surprised,,i had a bunny i was taking to my friends to rehome ,,as i think i told you all i rescue on a small scale,,,so i think i was more worried about the bunny settling than the fact i was out,,lol. we nipped in asdas on the way home i was fine again,,even had a cuppa and cake,,it was meant to be wheat free,,not so sure it was or either that or i picked up a bug while out,,by even i was running in and out the bathroom,,and felt really rough,,by the next day i was fine again,,ive not been out since as hubbys busy,,well except getting drown four times a day walking three dogs all who have to go out sep lol,,and at the mo if im not soaked the winds threatening to blow me over:roflmao:,,oh well all good fun,,take care all theresa xxx
Hi everyone
Hope youre all doing ok. Tonite I went to the flicks to see a film. I was a bit anxious all day but anytime I started to think I might panic, I told my self to stop it straight away.
We had to get there a bit early cos I have to sit at the back near the exit on the end of a row....you know the drill...I need to think I can get out straight away if it goes pear shaped. I had to change seats before the film started cos I felt I was a bit too far away from the door. I was ok and quite relaxed through the film.
I remember a time when I would have to force my self to sit there and try to control my PA's sometimes not very successfully. I would have to get up at least four times and go to the ladies to try and get a grip but I made sure I went back in there and didnt go home.
I know I've improved which has given me confidence but I've got a long way to go!
Take care....Lex xx
Alabasterlyn
18-11-09, 15:32
I haven't posted in ages, sorry don't even have a valid excuse :blush:
I have the dentist again tomorrow, but this time I am actually having some work done :scared15:
When the receptionist phoned me earlier with a 'courtesy' call to remind me I asked her how long the appointment was as I hadn't been told. When she said it was 45mins I could feel my stomach start to churn with the anxiety of it :weep: I have at least 2 appts of this length, then 3 crowns to have done :scared15:
I am up and down with my going out. On the weekend I tried to go ice skating at the Natural History Museums outdoor Winter rink, but we got caught up in awful traffic in the middle of London and I just couldn't handle it any longer. We ended up spending over 2hrs in the car and got nowhere. My other half took soooo much persuading to take me out that I felt really disappointed that I hadn't been able to get there.
Lex, I think you did very well going to the cinema. I don't know if you are receipt of DLA, but if you are you can get a special card for £5 which will allow you to take someone with you free of charge, the card lasts 3yrs. I also have to always sit at the back and next to the aisle too, just in case.
Carol, sorry to hear your daughter has been unwell, hope that she is getting better. It's good that you have been missing your little journeys, shows that you are getting some enjoyment out of them if you miss them when you don't go I guess. This is the only time of year that I enjoy going shopping as it's nice and dark and easy to get out :D
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