Please help

[daisymaisy]

Hi everyone
Hope someone can help or at least reassure me I'm not going mad. Had anxiety episode last year when I was just worrying about everything -world events especially but got better after taking citalopram and came off tablets in February but for last few weeks have felt the old feelings returning and am really worried. Think it started with me worrying about my son and his drinking. He's a good lad generally but lately has been drinking quite heavily at weekends. Am bit sensitive towards this as someone close to me was an alcholic and subsequently died a couple of years ago and am so worried my son will end up the same. At the moment he's in Thailand on holiday and am worried sick that he's spending the whole time drinking. He's become quite secretive lately (mostly with me) and realise that he doesn't need to tell me everything but not knowing makes me imagine all kinds of things and am so worried that he's putting himself in danger. I know young people these days think its not a good eve unless they're drunk and my oh says its just him having a good time. How can I stop worrying - I know its irrational but its occupying my mind all day and just have a knot in my stomach all the time. I really don't want to go back on tablets but can see the warning signs. I know I need to relax but can't switch off and am worrying about all sorts of things, relationships especially. I'm driving everyone mad. Help!

[JohnLuke300]

Daisymaisy,

You have to accept that he is old enough to look out for himself. When I was young I went through a phase of heavy drinking on the weekend, unfortunately that is typical of British culture. The fact is I and most people who do drink heavily on the weekends do not become alcoholics. It is when they continue drinking throughout the week that there could be a problem. Your fear is logical because you have witnessed alcoholism and the trauma of losing someone because of it. But your worrying about your sons behavior will only make you ill and will probably not change you sons behavior. I know it is not easy but you need to accept these facts or you will maintain your anxiety.

All the best,
John

[daisymaisy]

Thanks for your reply John. I know I have to let go and as you say he's old enough to look after himself. Strange how once anxiety gets a grip small things get blown out of proportion - I know that's certainly the case with me because I'm on edge all the time at the moment even when I'm not thinking about my son. I won't be completely calm until he returns home but will try and distract myself because I really don't want to go downhill anymore and end up on tablets again.
Thanks for your prompt reply. Really appreciate it.
daisymaisy

[teez]

oh hun the joys of being a mum,,my eldest 29 this year and my baby,,ahem coughs,,, is 22,, and yes i still panic,,when their out,,,i cant stop myself, they know this and are very good and text me,,you wont stop worrying ,,its a mums job, wether they are 4 or 40,,mum still worrys over me and im 46 lol, if his going to have a drink,,,which lets face it he most likely is,,,as john said ,,doesnt mean his going to become a heavy drinker,,and if his got into any serious trouble you,ll here about it,,,try to stay as calm as you can,,and when his back look cool and ask sweetly if his had a good time,,its what i do even if ive been a wreck inside lol:hugs:

[daisymaisy]

Thank you. Thought that when children were grown up things would be easier but think its worse - least when they're young you know where they are! As you say, us mums never stop worrying - mine are 23 and 21. Will try and look cool when he comes home tho he knows me far too well and will prob see thru me! He knows I worry and at the moment he's going thru an awkward stage and it irritates him - says he can look after himself! Meanwhile will practise looking cool - I've got a week left to perfect it!
Thanks for your reply - good to know that someone else feels the same.
daisymaisy xx

[chantelle]

Hi there
daisy maisy. Your post is so similar to my situation. I had an anxiety/depression episode last year but also got better after taking citalopram and came off the tablets in September 08. However I felt the old symptons coming back in February 09 and went to my GP. Unfortunately I saw a locum who said it was just anxiety and it would go away but gave me cipralex to take if it got worse. It did and I started the cipralex and then went back to see the GP who had treated me last year. She said she would've put me back on citalopram and this negativity lead to me feeling that the tablets didn't work!!!!! However I have now relaxed about them and feel that they are working, although much more slowly. I feel I have made a lot of progress but I think I would've made this without any meds!!!!! Try positive affirmations and talking positively to yourself.

I was consumed with worry about my eldest boy (16) as he was doing his GCSEs. He had been bullied at grammar school (age 12) and ended up seeing a psychiatrist and was suicidal!!! He went from being an A student to failing most of his mocks. We went through hell and I ended up giving up my teaching job and then took depression.

However, I went back to teach part-time and he got 2Bs & 4Cs and has started a National Diploma in Engineering, which was what he wanted to do. Everything has fallen into place and I am feeling a little calmer and only doing what I feel able to do. You are not going mad - I have been where you are and if I could turn the clock back I would try all else before I went back on the tablets.

This forum is great and it is good to get your problems out!!!!! Take care and pm me anytime you feel like a chat or for support......



A little hug from me to you

to make you smile when you feel blue
to make you happy when you're sad,
to let you know life ain't so bad.
Now I've given a hug to you,
somehow I feel much better too
hugs are better when they're shared.
Hope you have a good day
Thinking of you....


Chantelle