Cannot stop want it to end

[luke1982]

Made a post a day or two ago got limited replys really but im going out of my mind i suffer from paranoid schizophrenia and severe h.a
I really cant stop thinking. I have regular visits from a cpn but that does nothing to help regular meetings with a psychiatric doctor constant bombardment of pills. I just cant turn off my, brain has chatter all the time its making me ill on top of this i cant stop prodding at glands particularly the ones in my groin are they normal to be able to be felt there without infection? They are tiny like pea sized and only hurt now because iv prodded them so much...it started because I had a tight feeling in the crease of my leg iv searched on google about the tightness there and to be honest cant find anything. I worry about having cancer on a daily basis I annoy the hell out of my girlfriend and family because im constantly obsessed with the idea of being ill I really see no way out.
Physically I feel fine i feel fit and healthy, I just cant stop prodding at myself and dont know how to stop!
Its making my life a misery iv recently given up my job and dont leave the house out of fear that something bad is going to happen.
I even had a fear of looking up at the sky how stupids that!
Went to the doctors the other day because I was so obsessed with my glands, they didnt even want to check them said if it wasnt sore or burning sensation or particularly big there was no point.
So guess what I went home thought about it, no obsessed about it, and guess what they started feeling burny and sore which scared me. It was only after they said thats what they would feel like if there was something wrong that i felt it.

I really am at a loose end and want it all to stop is there anyone here that can relate in anyway and shed some light on some of the stuff iv said im making myself feel sick with worry and annoying the people i care about most with my constant goings on.

I know its a long post but really felt the need to get it down on paper so to speak to get it all out, just want someone to tell me its ok and that its normal to feel things where I am or something I dunno

Please help:weep:

[amandaj]

hi luke it is absolutly normal with anxiety to feel the way you are, its such a rubbish thing to have ,i feel ill every single day so your lucky to miss out on that one ,maybe see another dr just to put your mind at rest take care
amandaxxx

[luke1982]

And is it normal to be able to feel things in the creases of your legs if you press around? I think if i knew that it was normal and everyone had lumps and bumps in there I could move on I suppose.

[PanicOver!!]

Hi Luke

The racing mind is as you say terifying
I have obsessed about just about everything from heart attacks to cancer in just about every area of my body

Have you tried distraction tecniques like reading or playstation the worked for me
whatever you do dont give up looking for the answer you WILL find one

Marc

[luke1982]

Yeah i went out and spent quite a bit of money on things to distract me ranging from new guitar and stuff like that to a games console just to take my mind off things and while it does for the time on it come evening when im back in bed my mind starts racing again and leaves me wide awake for hours prodding around worrying and so on. Iv been to the docs a few times but they know that because I suffer from schizophrenia I can be delusional especially about my health and stuff so take what I say with a pinch or salt and dont bother checking me anymore.
I was on sleeping pills for about three months but came off them as I was getting addicted to them but they really helped the time I was on them

[cricketjar]

Luke i fell for you mate. I have been exactly like you worrying about lumps and i have a lump in my groin which i have been told its a lymph node and its harmless. My main worries seem to target my heart now tho as i do get chest pains due to anxiety. It seems to me that you could suffer anxiety too just because you said you had pain in your lump after you was told by the doctor he would not check them unless sore or burning. You immediately thought about it and caused pain which anxiety does to us "think of a pain somewhere and its there" It is our brain playing tricks that we have tought it!

I hope you feel better mate and hopefully your girlfriend and family will understand what you are going through. It took my girlfriend a while but she is so understanding now.

Best of luck

James

[luke1982]

Thanks for the reply's it does seem when I read or hear about something I can actually physically feel it. I had never known about glands in that area before until a few weeks ago when I read about it on the internet and thats where my obsessive poking started. Doctor gave me some valium tried it the other day but made me feel awful so have not touched it since does it work for anyone out there?