reasurance needed today

[LisaLisa]

Hi

I wondered if someone could reassure me a little today because im struggling to do it myself.

Ive worried for two years now that i have hiv because i googled some weird symptoms that ive been having and it came up with hiv. One of them was even described as 'hallmark' by google. So i went to the gum clinic and got tested and the result was negative. I still didnt beleive i was okay so in total have had five negative results sice 2007, one of them being part of antenatal results .

Im seeing a psychologist for my health anxiety and sometimes i completely beleive that im okay....other times ilke today ...i dont at all.
Sorry to be a pain. I stupidly read about different strains on google and of course have given my disaster theory much fuel :doh:

Anyway....can someone talk me down a bit about my test results being accurate and that im just plain wrong about my symptoms.....

sorry to be a pain.. i know we all have issues and i really should be trying harder with this

thanks

Lisa
xxx

[debs180]

Hi Lisa, im sorry you are having a bad time of it. You have had so many negative test results and that should put your mind at total ease about hiv, but i do totally relate to you for some reason or another for not beileving it fully, its what anxiety does. I dont really know what to say other than you are fine hun and i wish i could help in some way, but we are all here for you and will hopefully try and comfort and reassure the best we can. Its a horrible thing anxiety and it isnt easy to overcome but light is at the end of the tunnel, and you can overcome this you are stronger than you are feeling at the moment. Take care Lisa, hope you start to feel abit better sooner rather than later. All the best, Debs xxx

[Welsh.Baz]

Blah bad days are annoying aint they. You know what works with me? Being told by my other half she'll kick my arse if I don't stop it.

So Lisa i'll cyber kick your arse if you don't stop it :D

[LisaLisa]

Debs thanks very much for the support, im so gratefull.

Welsh.baz you are soooo right. The cyber kick is having excelllent results..thank you v much!!:D Strange how i try and hide as much as possible from my other half because he too gets super annoyed with my anxious ramblings...right or wrong, it really seems to put it away for a while. I guess the goal is doing that for ourselves!!

Thanks again to you both

Lisa
xxxx:hugs:

[rebeccad]

hi Lisa sorry you are feeling bad today you always make me feel better when i am having a down day, I read somewhere that the reason we feel the need to get reassurance is because we actually get addicted to the feeling. What we actually need to do is stop the addiction and focus on something else, You know it is just the anxiety and you really do not have hiv, get the negative test results out and read them.
Hope you are feeling better soon xxx

[LisaLisa]

Thanks Rebbeca,

Im totally off on one today, it sucks!!

My daughter been off her food and I think that has fired it all up big time. Now cant stop thinking about my lump in my cheek and the swollen glands around it.

Logically i know that i woudl have to be incredibly unlucky to have a strain of HIV not picked up by modern tests and especially from the risks that i think i have been at. But my brain just wont leave it....its poo.

Today im going to try just telling myself that im wrong and thats it........draw a line under it!!

Thanks again hun

Lisa
xxxx

[Stressed32]

Lisa...just remember...if you have had 5 neg. test from the same clinic you would not be the most unlucky person but rather the luckiest one because you could sue the s*** out of them and have so much money that if you did have HIV you could afford the best meds, live forever, and come see your buddy in the US and take her shopping :)
Honey, you know those tests results are good so relax.....sorry I did not get to email you again today from work...beginning of the year and the kids are not trained to work at their seats yet :)

Like rebecca said...reassurance is addicting like a drug. You seek it more and more because it feels better than thinking you have HIV. You don't need reassurance from us....u just need a hug :) HUG my sweet friend.....u know whats going on and its NOT HIV.