feel pressured

[lonely]

was referred for longterm cpn care got it but it turned out it would be a male cpn, i raised concerns with current cpn, they said they would get in touch with them and arrange a female one and break me in to new person slowly with them there too
but on friday the new guy turned up at my house, i wasn't expecting anyone to come i thought it had been sorted, he said my cpn hadn't been in touch, he said i looked soo anxious, i wanted to cry and hide :weep:
he said for me to think about him helping as female worker would mean longer wait, he told my mum this, then i felt pressuerd from family to say yes ill see him, i know it won't work i just cannot open up to men, ive tried before it just doesn't work for me :weep: :weep: he phoned and i had to say yes, i had tried phoning my current cpn in morning to tell them what had happened but it was there day off :weep: so i had no choose but to say yes to this guy
ive got all worked up and cut myself i feel ashamed :weep: i see my current cpn tomorrow, but what if they did speak to them? why did he say they never, if they didn't why did they not when they told me and psychiatrist they would

[Carla louise]

Hey hun, I feel for you, I really do, having to open up to a male CPN on your own is like trying to make you run before you can walk. You do have a choice-you always have a choice, take a deep breath and ring them and explain that you are not comfortable and you need to see a female/see him with a female. They really need to offer a service that accomadates women who feel like you do-its hardly rare for women to feel that they need another woman present xxxxxx