Uni - scared! (long post, sorry)

[daisycake]

I'm away to Uni a week on Saturday and I suppose that anyone's going to get anxious over that kind of thing but for me it's one hundred times worse; I'm coimg out of a difficult home situation wherein both my mam and my younger sister have disabilites, and I too have dyspraxia, plus HA and just generally I'm a very anxious person. I was bullied from the age of five to seventeen at school and I'm scared it will happen again once I start Uni - I'm convinced it is me that is the problem, it was various people who bullied me so there must be something about me that makes people want to do that, which means it will happen again at Uni? I'm only going to be 20 miles down the road from my mam but I'm so worried; I know I'll miss her and I don't know how I'll cope with that, I don't know what I'll do about my HA either because I won't be able to calm myself down if I get panicky whilst I'm there. My dyspraxia - because it's related to autism, means I'm not very confident or good at making friends, I can see it in my head that I'll be alone and worried all the time (though both my mam and my gp said that wouldn't happen).. It's the what ifs that are driving me crazy - I won't be able to get home quickly to help my mam and I worry about her being on her own.. and if I was to get ill I wouldn't know the difference between that and HA, I don't know what I would do!

Anyway, does anyone have any advice on how to cope at all, my young carers support group were meant to have helped however numerous phone calls to their office have lead to nothing! And people here have really helped in the past, I'm not wanting to go in a panic so I'm turning to you lot again for advice xx

[Laloula]

It's the what-ifs that are doing this, so why not just go along with it and see what happens? Going to uni is a big step, but you shouldn't worry about bullying, most people at uni are older and more mature plus the whole 'social' system at uni is different.
When I went to uni and left my parents a couple years ago (I went a bit overboard and moved countries =]) I knew that if I needed to I could phone them and talk to them.
As for calming yourself down, you probably know all the breathing excercises and things from this forum. Fact is, you're at uni, it's a big important AMAZING step to take, and as long as you try and see the bigger picture (you're doing this for yourself, it should be making you happy and proud) then you should be okay.

[Rachel_123]

hey daisycake,

I'm too starting UNI and I must say - even for "normal" people it must be hard, but for sensitive people like us, it is that extra bit difficult. First of all, it is not your fault that you have been bullied in the past. Bullies are people with problems who pick on other people to make themselves feel better. People in UNI are usually alot more mature and deal with their problems in a better way so I can asure you that you wont be bullied for who you are.

I know its hard moving away and being away from home in general. I moved out last week and although im more anxious, I AM coping. Your UNI will have a councellor and several support groups. Im making an appointment to see one so I can discuss my problems and feel that bit better. Maybe you should do that too?

Anyways, If you feel like it - you can pm me for a talk =]

[lele19]

Hey, i'm also movig away to uni, im moving 300 miles to Newcastle, im so nervous, i move on friday, i guess were all in the same situation.

[sMINT]

Hey,

Im also moving to Uni (on Monday). Please please please try not to worry at all about the what if I get bullied thing. I can safely say its a completely different environment to school or college.

Like everyone has said, everyone is a lot more mature at university and, Even if you are quiet/shy (I am) or have difficulties making friends you WILL make some friends there I promise.

I also get really bad HA, I used to only get panic attacks and tbh Id take back having just them any day of the week, becuase now its moved from them onto HA every sigle day I make myself ill over something. I know it can be really hard to try and rationalize the thoughts. Do try your best though, And like said there is people there who can help such as counsillors, I know for one Ill be making an appointment soon as i get there ha.

All the best