Bad day

[luke1982]

Having a really bad day today, went and saw the doctor yesterday and im physically healthy made me feel good all my worrys disappeared and I felt on top of the world.
Woke up today and I feel awful im almost in tears i just realised how god damn pointless my life is, i wake up every morning watch my partner go to work and I sit about doing nothing. Iv no friends any more no job and im 27 in a couple of weeks. Tonight my girlfriends going out with friends to a party the following night shes got a works night out and after that shes been invited to a bbq at another friends house I guess it just made me realise how little I have and having no friends or nothing to works towards like a job really hit home today.
Iv been searching for jobs for the last two weeks to get me out of the house.
The only interaction I really have with the outside world at the moment is my cpn there have been days i dont even get out of bed or get dressed cant be bothered doing house work just no motivation what so ever!
Really getting fed up of this and im starting to see little point or hope for the future. All the doctors do is pump me full of more drugs leaving me like a zombie I really dont feel there is enough support out there

[anxious elephant999]

know that feeling luke i suffer with constant dizziness which has bought on severe anxiety and depression and also agraphobia,as i too scared to go out coz of the dizziness ,i too feel like a zombie coz of drugs and havnt been able to get out of bed again for the last two days , i feel a faliure as a mother as cant take my daughter to school really just dont wanna be here anymore

[luke1982]

I know how your feeling anxious i too dont wanna be here anymore to be honest im so fed up of the day in day out lack of routine. I think iv actually made myself agraphobic too scared to leave the house incase anyone beats me up. I had my head smashed through a window by bullys a few years ago and ever since iv been to scared to go out again

[ladybird64]

Hi guys

A question for both the previous posters..does your medication not help either of you at all?

[Veronica H]

:bighug1: Sorry you are having a bad morning Luke. if you reread your post you will notice that all of your comments are negative ones, and this is typical of anxiety. It is an illness of how we think. Have you read a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes called 'self help for your nerves', published by Thorsons? This is available from the NMP Shop. Her work can also be downloaded free to your MP3 from the shop. I can't recommend this enough, as it really explains what is happening to us, and how we can recover. This will get better.

Veronicax

[luke1982]

My medication helps with the hallucinations auditory and visually but for everything else no, im on anti psychotics at the moment and yesterday the doc gave me some lorizapam and I have vallium too but makes me feel awful.
The meds work to a certain extent but without social stimulation / interaction with the world I just feel useless, like theres absolutely no point in waking up every day

[ladybird64]

Thanks for that Luke.

The reason I asked was that I have noticed so many posts recently where they have been presribed meds that seem to be having no effect whatsoever..I do wonder if this is sometimes an "easy way out" for some docs.
I am not against meds at all and firmly believe that they have a big part to play in treatment but as you say, there should be other support available.
I also wonder what type of support would help you to take the small steps to feel a wee bit better?

[luke1982]

Well i have a cpn visit every couple of weeks but she never stays for long enough to have a proper chat and i have monthly visits with s psychiatrist but they are more interested in the symptoms of my illness than finding ways to help me cope with it.
Occasionally they have spoke of support groups I can join in my area like clubs where people go out to the gym together or go for walks but nothings been said about it since & i dont know how I would feel about being around other people with schizophrenia

[Veronica H]

:weep: Sorry Luke the MP3 downloads are no longer available(thanks for letting me know ladybird). Don't feel lonely Luke as people are always here to talk to. I think you should take a chance and meet with others with the same condition given the opportunity...you will be surprised. My sons friend is studying a full time engineering course and has the same condition as you. Have you thought about study as a way back into work. colleges are very understanding and will accomodate your needs where they can.

:bighug1: Veronicax

[luke1982]

Yeah i was looking at college courses a few days ago as I was considering going back into nursing as it was something i really enjoyed but im just terrified to be perfectly honest after the amount of bullying thats happened in the last year or so im scared it will start back up again at college.
What i really want is to be able to get a job iv been searching but nothing going in my area, i live in a tiny village in the highlands so opportunity's for jobs are limited.
What i really want is friends and people to talk to and go out with like I used to.

[ladybird64]

Maybe it would be an idea to give a club a try, it may help to break the cycle of misery that comes with being too scared to go out. If you don't like it..don't go again! I know I may come across as being flippant but I do understand how awful you feel, I also know that being stuck in the home environment makes things worse, fear breeds fear.
Veronica has made a great suggestion re the Claire Weekes books, I have read them a few times and they are a good starting point.
You have hit the nail on the head when you talk about the professionals being nore interested in your symptoms than how to help you cope. Sometimes we are so overpowered by our anxieties/phobias that we lose the ability to judge for ourselves what we need from the professionals and how to ask for it..we go along compliantly with what they say because they must know best.
Don't give up hope Luke, perhaps just try and concentrate on changing one small thing at a time.
I hope it works out for you :)

[luke1982]

Thanks ladybird :)
I think I might want to try and go for a walk in the woods today. I think all this self pity started when i got jealous of my gf going out with friends and stuff its really hard not to make them feel guilty about going out so iv not said anything to her about how im feeling

[ladybird64]

And you've got all that cooped up inside as well..no wonder you feel crap today!
Well, hows about this. You go for a walk in the woods (in the lovely fresh air with no doubt gorgeous scenery) and I'll do Sainsburys later. In South London. With all the cars and people everywhere I look. And a checkout queue a mile long. :scared15:
Fancy a swap? :D

No seriously, hope the rest of the day is kinder to you. Take care.:flowers: