Ged
10-09-09, 19:26
Okay, first things first. I started having panic attacks about two months ago. They started like this unbearable heat within, coupled with an inexplicable fear... Though I don't know of what.
Then they got worse.
Let me list them:
-Jabs in various chest zones
-Tingling in my upper right back
-Heaviness in the back
-Tightness in the chest
-Jabs in the arms
-Fingers no. 4 and 5 on my left hand are tingling
-Sometimes I sweat
-Feeling like I can't breathe enough
-Pains in the centre of my palms (though not very often lately)
-Teeth chattering
-Rapid heartbeats (sometimes I feel as though my whole body becomes a pulse)
-Dreadful, heart-stopping fear.
But I'd ignore absolutely all of them, if it were not for my constant heart obsession. For some reason, I have this insane, irrational obsession with heart attacks. My aunt had a cerebral vascular attack (don't know the proper name in English, it means a vein popping in the brain) and most of my family spent their days at the hospital visiting her, and I was left alone to ponder on the origins of these chest pains (which were jabs back then). I went to the doctor, had an EKG done and all was fine, save the pulse, which was 114 - because I feared something might have happened with my heart or that I have something dire. I spent 3-4 days at the psychiatry ward and had an EEG and blood work done, both are fine.
Despite knowing that the EKG went out all right I still can't shake off the fear. Every pain/discomfort/pressure in the arms/neck/back/chest/stomach = heart attack. And the most ridiculous thing is that I'm 16, and dozens of people have told me that the chances of me having any heart disease at this age are nil. At this point I feel as though the entire world should shout in unison: "NO, you're not having a heart attack!"
Yeah, I know I'm a ridiculous, scary-cat person. And I hate it.
Then they got worse.
Let me list them:
-Jabs in various chest zones
-Tingling in my upper right back
-Heaviness in the back
-Tightness in the chest
-Jabs in the arms
-Fingers no. 4 and 5 on my left hand are tingling
-Sometimes I sweat
-Feeling like I can't breathe enough
-Pains in the centre of my palms (though not very often lately)
-Teeth chattering
-Rapid heartbeats (sometimes I feel as though my whole body becomes a pulse)
-Dreadful, heart-stopping fear.
But I'd ignore absolutely all of them, if it were not for my constant heart obsession. For some reason, I have this insane, irrational obsession with heart attacks. My aunt had a cerebral vascular attack (don't know the proper name in English, it means a vein popping in the brain) and most of my family spent their days at the hospital visiting her, and I was left alone to ponder on the origins of these chest pains (which were jabs back then). I went to the doctor, had an EKG done and all was fine, save the pulse, which was 114 - because I feared something might have happened with my heart or that I have something dire. I spent 3-4 days at the psychiatry ward and had an EEG and blood work done, both are fine.
Despite knowing that the EKG went out all right I still can't shake off the fear. Every pain/discomfort/pressure in the arms/neck/back/chest/stomach = heart attack. And the most ridiculous thing is that I'm 16, and dozens of people have told me that the chances of me having any heart disease at this age are nil. At this point I feel as though the entire world should shout in unison: "NO, you're not having a heart attack!"
Yeah, I know I'm a ridiculous, scary-cat person. And I hate it.