View Full Version : CBT for emetophobia my experiences...
Hi all,
I've been undergoing CBT therapy for emetophobia for about 2 months now on a weekly basis. I've had to work through looking at pictures of vomit to listening to sounds of people vomitting and have had no real problems so far. I got to the stage this week where I have had to watch a video of people vomitting and it has had a really bad affect on me. The second my therapist started the tape I went into a huge panic attack and it made me feel right back at square one. I asked her if I could borrow the tape and brought it home to try and watch. I watched about 2 minutes of it today and ended up shaking like a leaf and I have the feeling as if I've just witnessed a fatal accident, the feeling of horror is "that" bad. The horrible thing now is that I can't get this bit of video out of my mind of this woman making herself vomit into a washing up bowl and I keep running it over and over again in my with sound, it's horrible.
Surely this can't be healthy? I feel as if this is doing me way more harm than good. I wouldn't have classed my phobia as being majorly dibilitating but the more I watch this stuff the more it seems to be drumming it into me that I do hate it and am petrified of it, not making it feel better for facing my demons! My dad has also been an emetophobe for 40 years now and he's lived with it ok, I just thought facing this once and for all would be a good thing but all I see happening is that it's reminding me and strengthening how much I actually fear seeing it being done.
The thing that dug my phobia back up was a huge amount of stress last year at work and a panic attack made me feel like my throat was closing and sent me into a heaving bout, obviously I was petrified at the fact that I hadn't got control over my throat let alone the fact that I could have vomitted. So my current fear is linked with emetophobia but it isn't the being sick that I'm fearing. It's the fact that I can get my throat into a state of distress that could cause heaving and THEN lead onto vomitting so it's sort of now a double baralled phobia. The phobia is more "what if I gag, start heaving and have no control over it" followed by "and what if this makes me sick", rather than "what if I'm sick".
If I hadn't have had this throat bout I probably wouldn't have even been thinking about my emetophobia right now as I hadn't been for some years.
I'm not too sure what to do but at the minute I am completely distracted by the sound and vision of people vomitting in my mind because it's all I seem to be concentrating on at the minute... horrible...
Any suggestions of what I could or should do?
I look forward to hearing your suggestions,
Mark
Hi Mark,
I posted a thread up on my experiences on CBT (or exposure therapy) and i didnt have to go those extremes and im sure if i had then it wud have had the exact same effect on me! I'm coming out the other side of my phobia now, but im sure if i'd had 2 watch a video of sum1 being sick, it wud have definately made me feel worse! i think that now i'm on the other side i can c that u dont have 2 worry all day every day about in case ur sick, but that doesnt mean that u have 2 like it. nobody in their right mind wud b able 2 sit looking at sum1 being sick for real without it making them start to feel grossed out. I wud definately not have allowed myself to watch sum1 being sick on tv, it wud have made me want to give up on the whole therapy altogether, and i certainly wud have had it replaying in my mind all day every day as well!
I dont really kno wot 2 suggest as im not a therapist, but i definately think making u watch a vid of it was extreme. the furthest i had to go wiv my exposure was making fake sick out of moshed up food and pouring it down the toilet as my phobia is worring about actually getting ill and being sick, rather than ur phobia of ur throat making u sick...maybe thats why we've had such different experiences of exposure.
I hope u are able to get it out of your head soon, as it must b driving u mad, it definately wud have dun me! In fact it prob wud many people!
Whoops...soz bout the essay!!
Take care.
Laura.
Hi Laura,
Thanks for your reply! My phobia also covers the fear of me being sick as well but I just can't bear to be in the same room as someone that's ill in case they are and I see it/hear it. I too had to make up the mushed up food and pour it down the toilet with the therapist. This video is absolutely horrifying though, it's like reality TV extreme. The first bit really disturbed me because it was obviously a setup to make this little girl of about 10 years old sick! Her mum had sat a bowl of chocolates beside her on the settee, this was a big mixing bowl and the little girl ate her entire way through them, she then shouts her mother saying she's going to be sick and to bring in a bowl, the camera then zooms in closely to her face whilst she is heaving until she's sick into the bowl, just typing this now is making my heart pound and I just thought that was so disturbing. The horrible thing was, it kept doing a quick retake of the vomit coming out of her mouth before showing you her holding the bowl full at the end. I am in posession of the video tape as we speak. Horrible :(.
Mark x
aww, thats awful!
u poor thing! i feel so sorry that u had 2 c it! i spose in a way tho, one of the reasons why i decided i had to kick this phobia is that in a few years i'd like to have kids, and one day wen they're sick i'll have 2 b there 4 them and not run away, so i guess seeing it is something everyone has to do at sum stage...but watchin it on video is just horrible, esp. wen u dont really need to! if it's so disturbing i'd definately leave it for a while, as its obviously not working. talk to your therapist and tell them how much worse its making u. if you've seen it more than once the second time shud have been easier (as obviously thats the whole point) but if its worse its not doing u any good.
really hope u can forget about it soon! try distracting ur mind by doing something u need to concentrate on (like playing solitair on the computer)...stupid as it sounds, in times of major panicking, that game has helped me out no end!
laura.
Thanks Laura, I've asked a few friends if they could sit through it who haven't got a phobia of vomit and they very promptly said no. I don't feel as bad now and thanks for your suggestion, I will do something to distract myself in a bit, I just needed to chat about it on here with someone as my mind has felt like such a dark place over the past 2 days :(
Mark x
Hi Nigel,
You've hit the nail on the head. It's the anticipation of knowing what is going to happen in graphic detail. That is exactly what sends me into a panic...
And yes... I can tell you exactly how it started....
I went to school one morning and my mum had got some cod liver oil capsules in and thought it would be good if me and my sister started to take them. I was 7 years old at the time, took my cod liver oil capsule and went to school that morning. After about an hour of being there I started to feel really queezy and started to panic. I was taken to the medical room and given a bucket while they called my mum. She fetched me and took me home and I was fine, I remember eating a bowl of chicken soup and all was fine. I asked my mum if I could stay off school the next day to make sure and she let me. That day I didn't take the cod liver oil capsule and was ok but the next day I went back to school..... I took the capsule and again I felt horribly sick. I didn't twig what it was and naturally assumed that going out to school would make me feel sick and on it went from there.
At the age of 11 or 12 I started senior school and bearing in mind I already hated sick, I was put in a morning class with someone that ALWAYS used to be sick. I still remember all the times he did it and how it used to hit the desk and go all over the floor. I had to endure this torture for the entire year and was waiting for him to be sick every day. That had to be the worst school year of my life.
I then suffered from emetophobia for the next 3 or 4 years and started to get over it and it wasn't until my bad time at work that I mentioned last year that it all came flooding back again :(.
Mark
Hi Mark,
I am having similar experiences at the moment but am doing it myself rather than with a therapist. I have a video as well and must admit the first time I watched it was quite traumatic to say the least. Like you, it's not so much what's happening but more the thoughts that go with it.
Did you just watch it straight away? I first watched mine (well, the very first time I didn't even watch it, I put it on in the living room and went out to the bedroom! even knowing it was on was enough for the first time) it was on silent and I was watching from the doorway, frequently turning away when it actually happened.
Then when I was ok with that I turned the sound up a little but couldn't watch at the same time. So I just dealt with the sound for a good two weeks (5 mins everyday... I must be mad!!)
Now I am at the stage (because I am so familiar with what is going to happen and none of it is a surprise) where I can watch it with sound. Admittedly I am still inclined to turn my head away occassionally but I am working on this. Also the volume is still quite low but I have further to go with that yet.
Did your therapist just say to watch it straight off? I thought the idea was to expose you to it gradually so that you feel some fear but then get used to it and eventually ok with it and move to the next step.
Hope you have managed to get the images out of your head. I know how awful it is.
Tammy x
Hi Tammy,
I'm not sure who makes these videos, I wonder how many there are? Mine starts with a green screen saying "EXPOSURE TO VOMIT" in big white letters that fill the screen. Sadly I still have the same images wizzing around my head but I hope in a few days they die down. The therapist played the tape to me whilst we were right in front of a 21" TV screen on quite a loud volume. I said I couldn't watch anymore after the first and she wanted to start the video again when I'd calmed down. I asked her if I could take it home to watch instead and she asked me to watch an hour of it every day for the week! It's still making my heart race just thinking about what I've seen as I'm typing this.It's such a daft phobia isn't it, just another bodily function! I mean we reject waste food from behind most days and we don't fear that, why do we fear if it doesn't make it that far because it's bad and comes back out the top?!
I think you're really brave Tammy, well done for watching yours as you have been!! I was thinking of playing it through my computer and watching it with low sound in a postage stamp sized window and moving slowly up.
Mark x
Your post made me laugh for a minute... I always thought I was quite weird but what person in their right mind would make themselves sick on camera?!! The video I have is only 5 minutes long which is just enough really. I have also worked with a different video in the past so that's at least three in circulation!
Hmm... I think your therapist was a bit out of order doing that, I would have reacted in exactly the same way. I know there is a method when you do it all at once (can't remember the name) but it is proven that this doesn't work for all people and that gradual exposure is the way to go, from what I have read anyway.
*It's such a daft phobia isn't it, just another bodily function!* Yup, sure is! And also because no-one actually likes to be sick but no-one fears it quite like we do either.
Putting it on the computer sounds like a good idea, slowly slowly has really worked for me. But an hour a day?! OMG lol.
Good luck and keep us informed of how you are getting on. I have read some of your other posts and it sounds like you are doing really well, don't let this move you backwards, keep plodding on!
Tammy x
Gawd Tammy, what I've been through this year honestly.... I'm feeling SO SO much better than I was, I thought I'd never be able to cope with life again!
I too am totally gob smacked at these people sticking fingers down their throats and hoofing up a good load into a bowl. I mean this woman actually looks at the camera is if to say "oh come out I know you want to" as she's coughing and wretching chunks here and there! LOL
I must say, even though the thoughts are still running around my mind and giving me the notion that I want to wretch, I am also chuckling to myself thinking "at this point I really don't care, this has gone on long enough and I barf, I barf...". Still doesn't stop that horrified "in your face" feeling of watching someone else do it though!
I got my mum to watch a bit of it with me and she couldn't watch it anymore, she said she'd be sick if she did. So I must admit, I do feel a little hard done by right now seeing as I'd been doing so well up until now! :)
Mark x
See, just keep in mind how far you have come already. Just keep reminding yourself of how you felt at the beginning of the year and how you are now.
At some point it is inevitable that you reach a point where you think it's all gone wrong and it's just too hard. I haven't got there yet, I think for me it is going to be me being sick.
I suppose the main thing is that you don't let it get back to how it was. I know I can't quite believe how many years I have wasted and in a way it was my own fault, letting those thoughts run away with me.
So off you go to watch your video for an hour lol. Asking your Mum to watch it with you was a good idea, maybe ask somebody else who isn't bothered about it at all.
Tammy x
mjh,
read your posts with interest.
you seem so much more in control than when we first spoke and thats great news.
im sorry to buck the trend here but the exposure therapy i feel is the right way for some people, not all but some.
i use to fear killing myself or hurting people, especially people close to me and everyday i get the images which would make me shudder with fear and i begged for them to go. But they dont go on there own because of the fear. so with cbt and really on my own i decidied to sit down each night and think the unthinkable, really graphically imagine the things i was scared of in graphic detail happeneing, and yes to begin with i was scared sh..t...less..........but after only about 4 or 5 nights i actaully began to laugh at the thoughts, they would wonder onto other odd things....really odd...lol..and id end up laughing. so the next day when the thought popped in...well it just didnt scre me anymore...and it was gone in the flash it came in. its not the thoughts that are the problem, everyone has them, its the meaning and fear we attach to them.
sorry to ramble but my sister in law has two small babies and she was holding one a day i was there and she looked at my and said wont in be easy to to crush its head??....now if id of had that thought id of gone into blind panic...she just sadi it and then gave it a kiss and shes the most loving mother in the world and would never harm her babies...but it made me think....so we all have these odd thoughts........just no need to get scared by them as we just will never do them.
im rammbeling, sorry.
mjh, you will get over this blip, no doubts whatsoever, youve come such along way, keep up your good work.
andy
hi mark
know how u feel i have the same phobia and i have done councelling for it ive had it for 15 years and im only 27 so thats most of my life and i hate the way it controls me and my life. over thepast year i must admit it has gotten a wee bit better as in the last year ive had 2 stomach bugs when pregrannt. ive been so scared to eat that ive starved myself untill i went to 6 stone i was so ill and thin looking.
i only put on weight when i was carrying my son even at that im only 7 stone 11.
properly like u i watch what i eat and i have safe foods that i will only eat andi wont eat anything i havent tryed.
it has gotten better but i will never be over it and it will always control my life i just have to learn to deal with it and try the best i can to not let it effect my life anymore.
as for cbt there would be no way i could do that cause it would sent me bk down again.
if u ever want to talk pm me.
Hi Andy,
Thanks for your reply. I think we exchanged messages when Meg was also trying some email counselling with me. I think reading your words was the thing that started my mind thinking "well maybe I can get better too". It just went from strength to strength from there so thank you for that!
I too used to have those thoughts that you describe, pretty much to the T! Isn't it amazing, the similarities us sufferers share. I got to the point where I daren't think anymore. This one has been with me for a longggg time though and keeps rearing it's ugly head and in one way, it's good as I don't fear anything else now BUT vomiting caused by gagging.
Thanks again for your support!
Mark
Hi Nigel,
I've been speaking to someone undergoing NLP with emetaphobia and she says that it has helped her do a lot more in life after just 2 sessions. I'm not too sure which path to take but if I choose carefully I think I could get this back out of my mind where it belongs.
The path of events I seem to experience are....
someone speaks to me that warrants a reply >> what will my throat feel like when I speak?
That is the subconcious part, as soon as I hear the voice speaking to me my tongue tenses at the back and I become very aware of my throat (the concious part).
Depending on how I anxious I feel I can handle the throat part pretty much now, if it's particularly nervous I will chew gum which helps massively. If I were to go on and heave from this point and god forbid vomit.... well I'm not even going to think about it :).
Maybe NLP could help the subconcious part?
Mark
Hi Taylor,
Thanks for the reply, I've read a lot of your posts from the past. I'll PM you. :)
Mark
Well I have to say I've done all I can, I'm not going through anymore. I tried to use my PC to take random captures throughout my 1 hour 24 minute continual video of people vomitting and I've looked at those and I definitely can't watch the video. It's the anticipation creating the feeling of horror that I get when watching it. It isn't helping that I have a really tickly cough that's going around work which is making me feeling like I want to gag without watching someone stand in a kitchen and vomit twice all over his floor.
I'm going back to see my therapist to end the therapy and give the material back that I've borrowed and just try and deal with things the best I can. The phobia has turned into a double barrel thing where I THINK the actual phobia is of actually heaving (not sure if there is an acknowledged phobia for that), that leads on to the possibility of the heaving leading to vomiting (second part of the phobia?). I'm sure as time goes on it will die down again but I now feel though I need to move on and not have constant reminders about vomit around me all day whether it be pictures, videos or sounds.
What do others think that are reading this? Does it sound sensible?
Mark
Hi Mark,
It seems such a shame to end the therapy on such a downer when a lot of it has been very good.
Can you ask to explore a different tack with her, one not involving the use of this video which sounds particularly vile and most of us would really struggle with even without the phobia.
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
Hi Meg,
I only had about 3 or 4 sessions left anyway and I'm not feeling too bad now. The only other steps left were the video, me vomiting whilst being filmed by them and one of their members of staff vomiting in front of me, none of which are going to help me. The trouble is with the latter 2, if I vomit once, ok it won't be the end of the world but it won't be nice and as exposure I'm not really going to be able to do it day in day out to make it feel less unpleasant. The same goes for the member of staff doing it in front of me, I don't think someone vomiting in front of me is really going to do much other than make me feel ill and a one off session of him/her doing that isn't really going to desensitive it for me.
I think if I end things here I am in good stead just to move forward and continue to lead a more normal life. I'm sure there are plenty of people who would do anything not to see someone vomit in front of them who don't have a phobia but if the situation arises, it isn't going to kill me and I would deal with it at the time accordingly.
Mark
Uuuggggghhhhhh
I completely understand your choice Mark and agree with you given those sessions.
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
Hi Meg,
Okkkkk....
I went to see the therapist and gave her my story. We had a long chat and the head psychy guy has apparently allowed me another 10 sessions to try and get through this!! 10 more!
So I've agreed to watch the tape in black and white in a small window on my computer without sound and see if I can get my way through it. Then with a bit of sound, then colour, then bigger picture etc etc. I am waiting until my cold has cleared up so I don't feel so grotty and will have another go.
At least I can chuckle about it though I have no idea why! (temporary insanity maybe??) lol
Mark
It's good that you have another 10 sessions, at least you can build up slowly that way. Are you still building towards those last two sessions you mentioned?! Good luck with it!
Tammy x
Hi Tammy and thanks,
Not too sure about the last sessions. I don't really think a one off vomit session is really going to help things so I may give that a miss. I think the helping factor is getting used to talking about vomit and seeing it and accepting that it isn't going to kill me. I've found the added familiarity so far has been the helping factor. I still think I'd cringe and try not to be near someone that was going to do it but then again I think that would be a realtively normal reaction for anyone! :)
Mark x
carldourish
03-11-05, 22:41
Haven't you tried EFT for this?
carldourish
07-11-05, 14:06
If you read other sections in this forum you notice that I have put together many different NLP techniques to follow.
Try this technique, however I recommend that you learn the process and read throughly first.
(1) FEARFUL SITUATION.
Take a minute and think of a situation that makes you have a phobic response. Think about it just enough to get a litttle bit of the feeling of fear. You want to be sure that you can get access to the part of you that creates the fear.
(2) MOVIE THEATHER
Now, in your mind's eye, imagine you are sitting in a large cinema. See yourself up on the screen in a still picture, just before you had the fearful response for the first time. (If you can't think of the first time you experienced this fear, think of the most intense time that you have had this kind of fear response.)
(3) LEAVE BODY
Now, imagine floating out of your body and go up into the projection booth, so that now you can look out and see yourself watching yourself on the screen. Stay in this projection booth until you are instructed to leave.
(4) WATCH A MOVIE
As you watch yourself watching yourself, begin to run a black-and-white movie of what actually occurred in that fearful situation, and see yourself going through that experience.Continue to watch that movie from the projection booth, until you reach the end of the situation when the trauma was over, and you can tell from the movie that you're safe again. At this point, stop the movie and make it into a still picture of yourself after the trauma was over with.
(5) RUN THE MOVIE BACKWARDS
Now, leave the projection booth, step into the still picture on the screen, and go through the whole experience backward, but this time in colour, just as if time were reversed and you were being sucked back through it by a giant vacuum cleaner. Do this very quickly, in about one & half seconds. Do this step several times over, getting quicker and quicker. When you're finished, actually physically get up and move your body around. Shake your arms and take a deep breath.
(6) CHECKING
Now, think of the experience again, and notice your response. In your mind, rate the fear on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the worst. If it's more than 2, repeat the entire process,being careful to do each step throughly.
Carl
Emma-Louise
22-12-06, 22:51
Hi, I'm new but I have to start CBT for my emetaphobia after christmas. I'm really scared about what they will make me watch. I can't face the idea of pictures and videos but I feel like I don't have any other options but to go and try it. Has CBT ever really worked for anyone?
Thank you
Emma x
nomorepanic
22-12-06, 22:55
Emma - do you mean CBT in general of CBT for specifically this phobia?
Nicola
People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel
Emma-Louise
22-12-06, 22:59
This specific phobia - they tried general CBT at first but it didn't really help. Now they want to try a combination of CBT and exposure therapy.
Emma x
nomorepanic
22-12-06, 23:01
Ok I think this is the only CBT post on that phobia.
Good luck with it anyway
Nicola
People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel
hey. i am AMAZED that any health professional would avocate having a colleague vomit in front of you as therapy. I think that maybe you need a different counsellor! Thinking logically its rediculous, as mainly anxiety is anticipatory, thus knowing you were going to see someone throw up would build the anxiety, whereas in life, vomit is not planned! Any medic who would have someone intentionally vomit, whether by sticking a finger down their throat or by other means i would suggest is questionable, as such practices can be dangerous.
There are different methods of CBT for emetophobia, mainly they should focus on why you fear it in the first place, the root cause may be very different from the revulsion everyone experiences when being / seeing someone else being sick. I have had CBT for my phobia before, and never was it suggested that I watch any videos of people throwing up.
Vix
TomMonteith
11-06-07, 13:48
heya All...
Well were do i start.=[ its finally to find some1 People same phobia :weep: its really hard =[ i feel like my life is one of the worste lifes in the world, but i know i havent, its soooo mentally tiring its constantly on my mind. but the weird thing is i havent not once been sick in my intire life (touch wood) i often wonde...
what will happpen will happen when i am sick ?
Then i get myself worked up and start shaking, nervour scared anxious.
my Mother was sick once in the morning and the sound of her being sick woke me up, then i knew :weep: she was sick it was the worste feeling ever i couldnt handle it, but no1 understand in my family, they all just think im stupid cause im 16, mother and father just say its all in my head. really gets on my nerves. soo now i have to come and find people to suport me i havent been to the doctors yet about it but im sure i wil have to some time :(
i often wonder when i have kids wa am i going to do when my own children are sick, i hate it when people are sick for the fun of it :| really windes me up and gets me upset and angry coz i always wish i was just normal, just wish i didint care about sick at all :| but this is me :(
if any 1 can help please add me on msn or reply to me
Thanks :)
Tom x
i am currently undergoing CBT therapy for emetophobia i have had 3 sessions at the moment. i have suffered with this for as long as i can remember and i can honeslty say id rather die that be sick. :weep:
I think CBT is the best course of treatment for specific phobias like this so you will be fine... best of luck :)
Hello again all....!
Would just like to say that after about 6 or so months of having that CBT, I've heard my mum vomit on 2 occasions (due to strong pain killers upsetting her stomach) and can readily watch my cats vomit now without issue, before even that would make me tremble and my heart pound. Now that fear is no way near as intense. I still have a level of general anxiety on a daily basis but I can just about cope with that. My emetophobia has been pretty instense for most of my life so it's quite a relief to actually lose some of that fear!
Hope that helps with anyone going through CBT at the moment!
it does help so thanks. i was thinking that i have suffered for 10 years with this phobia and i really am thinking it will take a miracle to cure me!
Hi I'm new to the board and have had this specific phobia since around age six...I haven't (crosses fingers and knocks on wood) gotten sick since fifteen and I am now 26...I am so afraid of under going treatment because I am afraid to see or hear anyone vomit so I started thinking...and I have found this phobia has responded well to hypnosis...Just a thought... also taking low dose benzodiazipane and confronted the fear gradually is supposed to help...Good luck and i am so happy to have found others like me cause it seems like no one truly understands
I'm also a bit emetaphobic and often wonder about some of the physical things that come with throwing up. does anyone know, for instance, why it seems an instinct to put your hand up to your mouth when you gag/retch ? Also why is there a tendancy to lean the upper body forward? What is it in our history that makes us do this? Finally, why do I shake violently after gagging? Anyone know?
hi your phobia is just like mine ive just read all your coments me eyes are still spinning and its amazing that your phobia is almoast identicle to mine.
im only 15 and have to live through my phobia at school i get a lot og time out of my lessons and get a lot of support.
i tryed to confront my phobia by typing vomit into google images and looking at pictures i was ok with this untill i came apon a really horrible site where people posted pictures of people being sick and people left coments suggesting that they thorght it was a turn on , i couldent belive someone could find such a frightning subject a pleasurable experiance, and obe of the pics really stuck in my mind.
i know exactly what you meen by the vistions ov the vomiting stopping in your mind, i got on the bus a while back and someone had just been sick all up the back of 1 seat and all over the floor. and this has really stuck in my mind i have real problems getting on that bus and i certainly wont sit the the seat where it happened.
but i hope you can get over the images soon ( just think of it as food thats what i try to do )
any way thanks for making me feel not lone any more :)
wow just like me im 15 add me jaybebaby@hotmail.co.uk
Hi I have emetophobia and I've been coping with it since I was 10 years old. I was sick and this time was really traumatic for me and ever since it has stuck in my mind. I remember when I was sick at 7 and at 4 but these don't or didn't scare me whether this was because I was younger I don't know but I remember being able to get over them times quite well and a time when I was 8 I used to brag about being sick then when I was 10 and I caught a bug and I was sick loads everyone around me panicked and from then on I used to say I'd rather die then have it happen again. For a few years I forgotten about my fear but then an emotional stress came upon me when I was bullied in middle school this caused me to go to medical room also causing my fear to come back I stopped eating and ended up in hospital they even give me a month I'd die but I couldn't get over my fear and I couldn't bring myself to eat or drink anything and I got into trying suicide I'd put things around my neck, I'd hang from bedroom windows, and I'd self-harm it was a traumatic time for me. After I got out of this state when my nephew was born I managed to slowly get my life back on track but recently my worst fears have all come back again. I'm still really young I'm 15 coming on 16 people say I'm so brave to do so much on my own with this massive fear overhead but I don't think I have. I stopped eating for 2 months and for past 3 weeks I managed to eat I'll force myself but soon after I'll panic and feel sick worried that I'm going to be I hardly go to school I only managed to go in for a week in past couple months and this is worrying as I have my GCSES and I'm really behind in coursework. Its really hard knowing that if I'm sick I can't stop it I can't do anything about it and the fact I'll have to go through that horrible childhood experience again it was just last night that I said I wanted to die and I was thinking so strongly of giving up cus life gets so much to bear but my boyfriend told me not to give up and my best friend did too they have told me that I have to get over this. My best friend told me of the therapy your all telling me and told me try it on my own without therapists as there expensive and not near my local area. She has told me to slowly expose myself to a conversation bout it and then go onto images then to people mentioning it unexpectedly, then to TV and videos, and then to faking being sick and then to actually making myself sick. My boyfriend told me this is a good idea to do this and he will be there for me every step of the way but I panic sometimes for just reading things like this such as reading your experiences of the therapy but I really want to get through this I know I'm going to have to face it one day but I'm not sure how.
Becca x
hiya I'm 15 too! it's so scary for me the thought of being sick maybe we can talk and help each other through it in stages it might help us to be able to do that. I have problems with getting on a bus too and I have all sorts of problems with going out of the house at all these days going out with friends but a massive problem is eating out and going to school or shopping in big places or even the cinema.
becca x
hiya i know exactly how you feel I'm 15 coming on 16 and it took my parents ages to realise how much of a big deal it is for me and I love this forum cus everyone understands what your going through. I can't stand the thought of being sick it sends me into such a panic and I walk on pebbles throughout my life I feel like its the worst thing ever even thinking of suicide but I know now that isn't the answer. add me on msn x_clueless_angel_x@hotmail.com
Becca
x
I say that too that I'd rather die then be sick I was saying that all last night and strongly making decisions on whether to end my life or not but seeing the state my boyfriend was in because of saying I really wanted to and saying it was best for me made me feel so guilty cus hes been through everything with me and I know he still will be. This was when I decided not to give up yet and try my best to get through it. I came on here to be able to find people to talk to about it as I know if you are involved with people battling the same thing it will probably feel easier.
Becca x
"it's so scary for me the thought of being sick"
The thought of being sick is a million times scarier than actually being sick. Being sick is a natural response by the body, if you are being sick you can't do anything else, and that includes panicking.
Fear of anything is all in the mind. Learning to relax, meditation and even EFT will help all of you with your anxiety/phobia.
Your phobia is an emotional response to automatic and irrational made up scary thoughts that trigger your emotions. Through meditation/EFT you can learn to respond to those irrational thoughts in a more relaxed and comfortable manner.
claire-robinson0
28-04-08, 03:45
Hello
i have had emetophobia since i was 5 or 6 i spose i am now 19 should be out drinking and all but i cant cause of this stupid phobia its driving me crazy i dont have much money so i cant do much some forums have said make yourself sick but the idea terrifies me !
2 years ago i had a baby boy called rohan i dont regret having him he is the cutest thing, when i had him i had loads of drugs pumped into me at the hospital (i hate hospitals) whatever it was after i gave birth to rohan it made me puke over and over again blue i asked the midwife why i was being sick and she said she didnt know after that i just had to get home so i refused to stay there the night, after that experiance i associated being sick with eating so i didnt eat! for about a week then i started having one peice of toast a day i was so scared of eating it might seem stupid lol, i lost loads of weight down to 5.4 stone they wanted to hospitalise me but hating hospitals i refused and i refused to talk to anyone who came around to talk to me apart from one guy called paul he came over every week to talk about my phobia and try to get me out of the bathroom yea it got that bad i wouldnt leave the bathroom but now i am ok 7 and a half stone :D still scared of being sick but i will get it sorted out one day properly i heard that hypnopheropy is good they take you back to when ur bad childhood experiance was so you can see it through an adult eye and realise thats its not the end of the world lol (tho sometimes it feels like it) worth a try ?
Thanks
Claire x:bighug1:
You guys should all use EFT. It is FREE and will help massively.
Using EFT with a person over MSN they were able to happily type the word
VOMIT after about 20 minutes.
Before this person FREAKED at the thought of the word.
For all of you who are doing CBT and exposure therapy, and for all of you
who aren't, learn EFT and start using. It will help you free yourself from your
prison.
Julia-Hannah
14-10-08, 18:42
Hey.
I'm new to this forum, I just was randomly searching through google and stubbled across this website.
Omg that video sounds gross, I used to get all panicky when I saw people throw up on tele & completely flip out. Unfortunately i got to like a programme called skins where characters are sick all the time so I'm kind of use to it know.
I have CBT too, and my therapist hasn't told me to watch sick videos or listen to it. Hes does it more with the worrying and panicking side and how to cope with it. He tells me to do scales of how bad it would be being sick with 1 being the lowest and 100 being the highest. I thought being sick was the worst thing ever but when he started saying things about heart attacks and cancer and paralyism, that completely change my mind of how bad being sick is. And hes told me to take risks, because i used to be completely housebound because of it and after a few years i go out alot more and have got my own horse so i'm out most days and have finally started to eat out. Seriously i've been told that only person that can make you better is yourself and thats true. I had lots of people helping me but once i started believeing in myself I started to get better.
Anyway i hope all goes well with all of you and its so nice to know there is other people, goodluck :D
Julia x
xemma-smurfx@hotmail
19-10-08, 01:53
hi
im new to this forum and i have just worked out i have emetophobia. the thought of being sick terrifies me, im a picky eater because of this and i am obsessed with checking sell by dates, if someone in my house is ill i will go stay at my nans just so i dont get ill.i live with my boyfriend now and he seems to get sick quite often which freaks me out. its affecting our relationship as i now sleep on the couch from fear of him being sick in the night and he was recently admitted to hospital and i just couldnt go with him from fear of him or people in the hospital being sick this made me feel bad as i should of been there for him. i havew had this fear for as long as i can remeber n it ruins my life. im constantly looking at people to see if they look ill and will not travel anywer. i even hate it when people are sick on the t.v. i would love to hear if any of you have ways maybe i could start to overcome this fear. i have started watching videos of people being sick to see if this works but its just making things worse. I would love to hear any suggestion
thanks
emma
x
x
hi i am mark and i have a big fear of being sick or someone else being sick i have had this all my life just the sound of someone being sick sends me into a panic and i can't control it can anyone give me some tips on how to manage it a better
thank you
mark
i've had a phobia of vomiting as long as i can remember, and i'm now 35. it has such a grip on me that i can't think of anything worse - which made childbirth a walk in the park so long as i had an anti-emetic!
the best advice i can give to you younger ones is not to let it control you any longer - try to take control back!! all the self help techniques on the site for managing panic help, find the ones that work for you (i like folding clothes watching tv and reading - anything to distract me from the panic!) you could also try some sort of mantra ( i know it sounds silly but i did it in labour with my 2nd child and it really helped) - if you feel sick or are panicking about something, just repeat something over and over to help reassure you that you CAN cope. my dad (who also has panic attacks) tells himself he won't feel like this forever, he'll wake up tomorrow and feel great again - this can help me
probably, the worse thing for people like us is the panic - i hate the thought of going to the dentist more than actually being there! my boyfriend often says that there's nothing to fear but fear itself, and the stupid thing is that the panic is probably making us all feel worse than actually being sick would ( go on - think back to that time you were sick before you had a phobia - it wasn't that bad, was it?) panic for me; racing pulse, dry mouth, nausea, spinny head, and it can go on for hours...
try not to avoid doing normal stuff like eating out or having a drink, travelling by bus etc - this is the beginnings of cbt, so just keep testing your limits and you'll soon see that you'll be ok, and you can cope with it. this should go some way to helping you re-programme yourself
we should all pledge to sort it out now - i'm going to try hypnotherapy, but there's about 30 years of fear to undo! so sort it now rather than later so that you can go out for meals (and eat more than just a starter!), travel further afield, get blind drunk (occasionally!) and actually enjoy yourselves without that little voice in the background asking you 'what if...?' there's no magic wand though, and you will need to take a leap of faith in yourself, but remember, YOU WILL BE OK
i hope you find something in this that helps, mark and anyone else that reads this!
Girlspendlow
21-09-09, 19:33
Hi i only found this site last night due to my five year old son being ill he was sick in his bed and came in to tell me , i could feel the fear hit me in a huge wave but i just went into autopilot and got cleaning him up , but not before opening all the windows and holding my breath around him and in his room so as you can see i freaked out yet again and came down stairs and cried for 30 minutes ( mainly to be far away from the germs )andto find something to help . This fear is totally unreasonable , irrational and dibilitating but its something i have had since for as long as i remember Im 26 now and i have tay whos 5 and brodi a 2 year old girl i was not ill while pregnant which i feel quite smug about but the last 3 times i have been sick ( Jan 2001- nov 2005- jun 2009) have been on wednesdays which make me have a mid week panic attack i try my best to hide my fear and have done pretty well for years until i had the kids and realised kids a little germ disciminator's and i had to find some way to help this i tried therapy but she had never heard of this phobia so i haven't been back this fear is so bad that ( i don't live with the kids dad ) i have often thought when the fear is at a height of sending the kids to live with their dad :( i've found just writing this has cleared my mind a little please get intouch with me if anything i've wrote relates to you i have my boyfriend living with me but i think he finds it hard to understand and tells me i should just be sick but thats the scariest thing anyone could say to me thank you for reading my essay and if you have any ideas on things that may help me please hit me back
X Toni X
I too have had CBT. Although not of the form you had. In mine we just talked about how i can feel better, she never even considered showing me videos of people vomiting. I personally find the act of others vomiting relatively insignificant, which may seem a little selfish in that if i feel sick or feel like i'm going to vomit on an un-manageable level, i become a totally different person who is wracked by my phobia. It was really bad for me the last 3 years, but in the last 8 months I've been massively better and find i can manage nausea fine 99.9% of the time, apart from tonight. After I felt really bad tonight (and I cannot describe how i feel or act when i'm nauseous to this level), i found this thread on the internet and thought i would share my thoughts. I understand the problem about your throat feeling like its blocked/swelling or somehow feeling like its forcing its way up your neck. I had a number of problems and this was one of them. Luckily for me what made me get over this (by terming it: getting over it, I basically mean I can attend college like normal now, where as in year 10 and 11 my school lesson attendance was about 10 lessons collectively per year) was the fact that my school education ended, and in the summer break I had some odd kind of closure and CBT. I am almost entirely fine now in that i can deal with my now not so frequent bouts of nausea, but the idea of being sick i am still phobic about to the same amount I always was in the last 2-3 years.
dave
im not even able to sleep or think about anything else after only reading the post, that vid would scare the living hell out of me. Of all the therapy i've had - i thank god no one has ever suggested i watch video's. I was taught that although i think it a vomit phobia its actually a fear of the fear issue and it would not be possible or natural to remove a dislike of vomit its inbuilt in us only to disaacociate fear and vomit? maybe my therapist was the crazy one lol. i hope this post syops haunting me v soon! :ohmy:
rainbowOne
03-07-11, 15:11
I had CBT for my emetophobia and now it's pretty much gone.
Mine didn't focus on 'exposing' myself to throwing up, but on combatting the behaviours I had developed because of emetophobia.
For instance, I used to take a bottle of hand sanitizer everywhere I went and wouldn't eat without sanitizing my hands. So I had to throw out the sanitizer and not use it, ever. I had to go into random food places, even dodgy looking ones, and eat with my hands, without washing them.
Basically - write a list of everything you do that a normal person doesn't do. And then stop doing them. One at a time, small steps at first, but make sure you ARE taking steps not just staying in one place. Don't say 'Ohh but I need to wash my hands because of hygeine' -NO. You do NOT. If you find yourself making excuses, you have to be hard on yourself. Don't listen to the excuses. The excuses are saying that you WANT to be scared. So don't do what the excuses tell you to.
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