deby3
11-09-09, 11:55
Coming from an unusual childhood ((bitter parents divorce where I stayed with my mother who was a sociopath, alcoholic and manic depressive etc)) my older brother had a mental breakdown from the stress and, similarly, I had my own problems...anorexia, bulimia, depression, slight ocd, self harm, alcohol, drugs…I knew university was my only way out and against all the odds I got there, but at the end of the first year everyone had to move out for summer, and I went “home” to the most unbearable stress and horrendous mother. After 2 months, I had a nervous breakdown at age 19. My body went into complete shock and spasm, like a fit, my nervous system went wild. It took a head neurologist to assess that it was stress and he wanted me transferred to a different hospital with a specialist neurology ward. But, after I could walk again and seem relatively normal, about a week, I discharged myself and went back to uni. The following 2 years have been pretty rough. I disowned my mother - which didn’t go down lightly with her – but finished my degree with a first. I managed to conquer many of my problems mentioned earlier, which after hospital came in powerful waves where sometimes I could cope, other times I would be in a bottomless pit of despair. Today, I still have overwhelming waves of depression which come with great anxiety. It is not uncommon for me to collapse or have panic attacks when I’m feeling really stressed and I have been in hospital again, but since I was drinking that day they put it down to alcohol. My confidence is low – probably from being told I was all sorts by my mum as a child. Recently, I have thought about getting NLP or some form of cognitive therapy to move forward once and for all. If anyone has any experience I would love to know what they thought of it. Hope you are all well. Thanks for reading my words, it means a lot x