View Full Version : Is this Depersonlization or something worse?
It's really hard to explain this, but here's my best shot at it -
- Like I don't understand reality (really bad, anyone relate?)
- Short Term memory is bad
- Things don't feel real
- Feel like I'm not actually here
- When I wake up in the morning I feel really bad, like I don't know where I am.
- When I do something, It's like it's not me doing it.
- Feeling I don't exist, like I'm dead and just living a dream.
- When doing something I used to do I don't get any enjoyment out of it
- When doing something its like I've never done it before.
It's like I've forgot how to live, I don't know anything. Help!
I keep question everything. Why are we here? What's the meaning of life? All this weird stuff. What the hell is happening to me :( I've gone Mad.
Matt,
youve most definately not gone mad nor willl you, do you think mad people question why they are here or the meaning of life?? nope, they just go mad.
What you are feeling is as you say DP/DR nothing more nothing less. My cbt therapist once described this as being like a pair of binoculars, because we have focused the binocluars so much on ourselves and how we feel and what we think its almost like we have blinked ourselves from reality hence the strange feelings. I hated hated hated the dp/dr but it goes, as your anxiety lifts a little you feel more in touch with the world again, and as this happens you start to enjoy all the things you once did, perhaps with even more passion as now you dont take them for granted. dont fight it to go, just let it be there but dont be so impressed withit, people go out on a saturday night and pay fortunes on drugs to get that feeling!!!!!!!!!! lol...not mocking as i know how bad it feels but dont worry about it, it goes.
it passes, trust me, ive been there.
take care my friend.
andy
Matt
If youve gone mad then Ive joined you as I get nearly everything youve described there so can totally relate-its such a weird horrible feeling.
I too have questioned whats the meaning of life and what are we doing here-its just our brains trying to adjust and get away from the panic.
Hang on in there pm me if you want to chat.
HUG Kirsty
Hi Matt,
What you list there happens to me on a daily basis.
It is hard not to worry about it though especially when you start thinking weird things about the world....like i think all these people going about jobs and stuff why are they doing that? The whole way the world works is a mystery to me i tell you!
Are you getting any help at all?
Feel free to PM me anytime!
First Anxiety...then panic attacks...now GAD and depression...now working on a better future!
"It is hard not to worry about it though especially when you start thinking weird things about the world....like i think all these people going about jobs and stuff why are they doing that? The whole way the world works is a mystery to me i tell you!"
YES,
That's exactly what I think as well.
Like you don't understand the world, why things are the way they are?
Thanks for the replies.
I'm seeing a Psych who says it's a symptom of anxiety, but it's really hard to explain to him.
I remember this all starting about a month ago after a panic attack one night, it's been there really ever since, even though now I'm not actually having panic attacks.
I just want this to pass..
Hi Matt,
Glad to know I'm not alone!!
Glad to hear you are getting some help as well, it is really distressing getting these sort of thoughts I know but i guess the fact that we know it is kinda 'wrong' is a good thing in a way.
It is also difficult to accept that is it anxiety especially when you don't get many other symptoms sometimes. I had PAs for about 8 months i think and ever since them i've felt like this even though i am not actually experiencing a traditional PA as such, it's more kinda always there a bit.
Makes getting about quite difficult and things.
First Anxiety...then panic attacks...now GAD and depression...now working on a better future!
Anyone any suggestions on how you stop this kinda thing?
First Anxiety...then panic attacks...now GAD and depression...now working on a better future!
that used to happen to me when my attacks were bad but since ive gotten better a few months ago ive had nothing.
Hi I agree a lot of us have suffered or are suffering this to some degree, it does get better, stay positive and get all the help offered, take care, love Alexis,xxx
Alexis
Argh.. This is getting worse.
It's like I don't understand anything about anything!
Anyone get me?
I'm so confused.
yep Matt...
i feel like that too....have u always been quite a deep thinker?
i get freaked out about birthday and people and things everything...just when i think too much about things and then it all seems *fake*
First Anxiety...then panic attacks...now GAD and depression...now working on a better future!
D/Personalisation (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2304)
derealisation/depersonlisation (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2512)
Hi new member mom w/ panic and dp/dr (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1239)
Disassociation (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2732)
when will this feeling leave? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2971)
FEELING SPACED! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4079)
?Derealisation (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4682)
My mind and depersonalisation (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5345)
Derealization (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5523)
Surreal, Unreal, Spaced-Out, Derealization etc (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5569)
Weird Feelings in Mind (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5622)
Feel Weird and Confused (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5833)
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
Well u have described my feelings perfectly.
I certainly feel the same way as this so please dont think it is just you. I feel like im in a bubble that needs bursting when Im haveing an attack and that im the same room as everyone else but they dont see me cos i dont exist. It certainly isnt the niceset of feelings and i have have found that if you clench your thumbs into your palms and make a fist to squeeze on your thumbs it will bring you back to 'normal' afetr a few seconds cos it reminds you that you are real and gets your mind distracted from this horrid feeling.
H McGowan
Thanks for that tip H!
First Anxiety...then panic attacks...now GAD and depression...now working on a better future!
Hiya
You pretty much exactly described how i feel every day.
I wake up every morning(after worrying about going to sleep in case i dont wake up),the first thing i think about is "do i feel normal today?" and inevitably i dont!!
I can identify with every point you made,i get frustrated every day thinking that i must have something physically wrong with me cos this will not go.
Aaaarrgghh!!
I wish i could give you some good advice but the ponly thing for it is distraction and to sit it out.These things are sent to test us im sure!!
Take care
Hunny x
celia davies
05-12-07, 15:09
I have this symtom to with all of them same thoughts, without even having a panic attack were not going mad our brains just react different to anxiety an day to day living,they will pass with time but i always have this symtom recuring
celia
Hi Matt
Your comments are typical of an anxiety sufferer. Most of my GAD consists of “depersonalisation” (exactly the symptoms you describe) and light-headedness. I sometimes feel like I am in a goldfish bowl with everything outside becoming distorted and strange. I try to deal with it by thinking of it is an “adrenaline overload”. You are definitely not going mad.
For some reason my symptoms are always worst in the morning when I wake up.
Hi Matt, I feel just like you do and have done, on and off, since summer last year! Its like Allye says, being in a goldfish bowl. not here, spaced out, and the things you mention too. I am trying to ACCEPT the feeling and not fight against it but it is so distracting and no-one here at home understands how I feel. I feel really unreal at the moment. You are NOT alone and we are NOT going mad.
Shirley
Lilith1980
06-12-07, 14:06
It doesnt happen to me so much now but it used to happen alot.
I did find it "uncomfortable" but sometimes I used to feel quite safe from the world when I got the feelings of being in my own little bubble. Was very weird. Last time I felt like that though it made me lanic and I just didnt know what was real and what was in my head anymore. Quite scary.
hi ive had all them awful feelins i felt so unreal it was realy realy awful i understand exactly how you feell tc elaine xxx
bluuurhg i hate that feeling! at the peak of my anxiety it was like i was constantly in a scary dream world, lik watching tv all day, like things are jsut "happening" around me, things dont seem real, words sound strange, people look strange, felt like i have no emotions, very wierd!!!
but it does get better i promise!!
x
I think i could be getting this! feeling everythings in slow motion, difficulty in concentrating, feeling dizzy and spaced out, it just came out of the blue, i woke up with it, and it's quite frightening!
I have started feeling liek this lately & it feels so scary. It feels like I'm high on drugs. My short term memory is shot to pieces. I get upset & frustrated & end up crying cos I'm always forgetting where I put things. I can't concemtrate no more which means my Psychology A Level can't be completed (how I ronic I want to study Psychology). I don't seem to have no drive to do anything anymore & time seems to go by so slowly.
I've been feeling this for about 2 weeks but the last few days it have seemed to have got much worse.
I feel like I don't know myself anymore.
Hi all, I am sat here feeling unreal again!!! It seems worse some days and not as bad others. I was in Yorkshire on Saturday with my mum at a lovely coffee shop near Bolton Abbey and I actually felt virtually normal. But today I am back to the unreality again. I was at Slimming World this morning and felt unreal there too. Thankfully SW is only a mile or two away as driving isnt great when I am feeling this way as you can appreciate. Anyone else feel this way about driving with the unreality? I am sat here feeling like I am not really here. I try to not let it get me down but am in tears with it.
Thinking of you all.
Love Shirley
Matt
I have felt exactly the same and it has got less and will pass. I still question the point and feel trapped in my mind sometimes. It is anxiety and it is the worst part of it. Speak to your doctor. But it will get less. try and reduce anything that causes you stress. Don't give up, you'll get through this. My doctor told me it can often be the effect on anti depressants, are you taking any?
i know i shouldn't say this really because i'm sure for those people feeling these symptoms or rather "not feeling " as in numbed emotions it must be very scary.
But i really often wish i could feel depersonalisation cause then i wouldn't feel anything and that would be terrific!! Instead FEEL everything acutely and get too emotional. Wish i could feel invisable so that i wasn't so self concious!!
Guess it all depends on which angle your'e coming from.
Anyway take care luv Richie xxx
hi matt
i totally understand where you are coming from. i too get the "why is the world the way it is" thoughts etc. at one point i got really stressed about the state of the planet, pollution etc - i couldn;t even look at something without thinking - i wonder how that is made/who by etc etc and i felt guilty about my impact on the plant - like driving my car etc! i also got really stressed over is there life after death and other big questions - as if i was responsible for solving the whole of the world or something!
its almost like our brains have gone to a new level of awareness - it is a freaky horrible feeling and i still get it but to a lesser degree. what helped me was to realise that my thoughts were not actually solving anything and that i would never come to a foolproof answer of what we are questioning - as soon as i start to over think - i try and distract myself and it does get better.
the biggest shock for me was suddenly realising at 32 that we don;t really know what reality is - everyone sees things differently/has different opinions etc and i remember thinking that i wish we had been born with a world instruction manual! how i wish i could be a non thinker!!!!
When I went to my Gp with this 18 years ago he wanted to put me on Prozac he didn't seem to have a great deal of knowledge about what I was going though at all, and as I have other family members using it I refused. I cant remember who it was but I was told to take Vitamin B6 as it helps the nervous system, I decided it wouldn't make me any worse so I did and within I think 10 days I felt much better. For some reason I dont know the DR comes back every 5 years or so I just take them again. It works for me but then again they could just have a placebo effect, however they dont do any real harm so it's worth a shot. I take 200mg a day which is not recomended for more than 6 months.
Hope this helps.
Lous
Anyone any suggestions on how you stop this kinda thing?
I haven't stopped my symptoms of DP/DR completely, but I have greatly improved with the help of a psychiatrist and psychologist. I'm on a moderate dosage of Seroquel and Prozac which seems to take the edge off the fear and anxiety, which in turn lifts the DP/DR, however for me the DR was always a hundred times worse than any of the other symptoms. Apparently, if it's anxiety/panic induced DP/DR, then meds and therapy are very effective... you just have to find what works for you... and that can take a while. Also, working with a therapist on how to interpret and deal with symptoms is really important. I'd say I feel "good" 90% of the time, which is a vast improvement over flipping out 90% of the time.
Matt thanks for starting this thread.
This is the one symptom that really upsets me, but sometimes it is just like a quick blip, yesterday I was getting dressed and suddenly while putting my socks on I felt like it was some-one else. But then without about 20 seconds it seemed just me again.
Some days I wake up with it and it lasts all day, the way I describe it is as if I didnt fully wake-up like I am still half asleep. But I can still function normally well as normal as I am lol
One thing I want to say is when I was 'normal' i-e before my agoraphobia and anxiety kicked in, I used to drive for miles and sometimes went into a 'daze' and suddenly can have driven a few miles, across traffic lights, roundabouts and suddenly be aware of where I was. But it never frightened me because I knew that I was just daydreaming but my consious side was doing the driving as to say.
Now because I consentrate so much on myself and not the outside world I
have become so aware of every little thing.
Yesterday I was probably thinking so much about going out after I had got dressed I was just daydreaming but as very small shocks effect me now, I noticed the 'blip' back into reality.
Hope this makes sense lol
Take care everyone Christine . xx :flowers:
maisiesmumx
25-01-08, 11:19
HI MATT
i
maisiesmumx
25-01-08, 11:25
HI MATT
i get you... the feeligs you described are text book dp/dr..i have suffered with it for about a year..first of all i thought i was going crazy or that i had a brain tumor...
It makes you feel that you are not you and that nothing is real..people you know seem foreign places youve been seem like you are only just visiting them for the first time... it feels like you are viewing the world sometimes with just a pair of eyes...and whist all this goes on you are completley aware of it...but helpless to stop it...sometimes i feel that i a not me....
i have been told that it is your brains reaction to anxiety etc feel free to pm me any time i have a lot of experience
take care and remember everything is real and you are real !!!
love faith xx:flowers:
Hi Christine and Faith, I am in a world of unreality as I sit here typing this! I have been this way, on and off since July 2006. I have coped with it a lot better lately and been out and about most days, even managing to go bowling for an hour with my kids at the weekend. But now it seems worse than ever again! I have been to Slimming World this morning and sat there for 2 hours and come home in the car. But now I feel like I am not really here, although I know I am, and |I feel like I am in a trance or a daze or something or that I am living in a dream world. It is so scary. But the silly thing is that if I ever get my mind off it, which is rare, but when I do, it goes! Its almost like to unreality is "forcing" me to look inward but when my attention is off it, it seems to disolve. The hard part is of course getting my mind off it.
Surely we are not going to be like this forever more?
My other point is, I notice that its coming up to my time of the month and I have noticed during the last year that during this time, the anxiety/unreality has always felt a bit worse. I wonder if thats why I feel worse now?
My kids want me to take them down town after school to spend their birthday money. I will see if this "fog" has lifted a bit before I do anything like that.
Love Shirley
My life was alll good, just turned 18, redy 2 book my drivin test, nearly finished my level 2 bricklaying at college then BOOM i get anxiety outa no wer ! its stop me from doin anything i even struggle to sit down n eat a meal wif my family im in my room most of the time :| Depersonlization is the main thing i cant hack ! even lukin in the mirror confuses me its lyk im in sum1 else's body watchin them live.
people thats neva ad this dnt realize how hard it is to live with do they. ive neva ad somthing so bad :( could sum1 help on gettin thru this daft thing?
the doctors dont want to put me on medication becuz of my age, i dnt rely wana take anything anyway.
yeh man i get u, i coped this about 3 month ago, same stuff. i trip out daily, some moments i think im fine then i start thinking, what the hell is wrong with me, whats is this, my house doesnt feel the same, or when i talk to pplz i look at them and think, its weird, i know where i am but i dnt know.if u get the drift, im gonnna c a therapist in a week, coz its F&*ED i seriously need help, coz i fear its gonna get worse
no its definately depersonalization and ive just realised that this is what ive got. i've got a doctors appointment next week. i dont feel intouch with the world. i feel like i'm not normal. i feel like everybody else isnt normal either. i'm on auto pilot xxx
I want to chip on to that "not understanding idea", just after I offer my advice on depersonalization.
I had this, and it went.
I had it again, and it went.
I think it goes as your anxiety goes. With anxiety, the trick is not to focus on each individual sympom, this draws you in to the labyrinth of anxiety, which is why I slightly disagree with the "post any symptom to know its not deadly" idea on this websight. Yes anxiety has many HORRID symptoms such as depersonalization, but they are all really one thing which needs dealing with. Cut off the head and the body will die.
The second thing is the Why Are We Here argument. This is interesting, because I am plagued by all these thoughts at the moment of daily life and why we are who and what we are. This is a symptom of anxiety? A symptom? Or the cause of the anxiety? If it is a symptom then my life has just become a lot simpler.
Sorry to rant, its my hobby.
PS. I am eating some really nice ice cream right now mmm its melting.
Miss Manic Panic
08-05-10, 20:38
Hi Matt!
I totally understand this..for me depersonalization is the worst of my symptoms.You feel like your looking at the word from the inside of a frosted glass bubble.Its like a screen that you want to lift and can be both depressing and frustrating..also scary if you dont know what it is.
It can make you feel like your just a moving shell..everything is there around you but your not connected to it. This is definitely an anxiety symptom but can also be attributed to depression ( which as we know goes hand in hand with anxiety).best thing to do is go and see your GP or a professional and get some advice.I find going somewhere naturally beautiful ( the ocean,forest etc) can really help make you feel more alive.
Good luck x:yesyes:
jothenurse
08-05-10, 20:46
You may feel confused, but you are not. You are alert & oriented. It is really just from brain fatigue - you bring is tired. I guess these, too, and I also hate them and it makes me feel very panicky. Sometimes when I take Ativan, the medicine I take for my anxiety, I get a little dizzy and drowsy and I think it may make it worse. But - they are very uncomfortable, but not dangerous. Just float through them.
Miss Manic Panic
08-05-10, 21:18
You sound like your trying to fight this really hard. Stop! You need to accept its there and remember that its a completely normal part of anxiety.Think of it like quick sand..the more you fight against it the deeper you sink.If you accept the situation is there then believe me it will pass.xx
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