luke1982
12-09-09, 11:24
Hi Guys im sure some of you already know I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia. Well I have been in the chat room for a few days now and have mostly enjoyed my time there and found many of the folks that go in there very supportive and always have good advice, some of the folks in there are just a damn right good laugh and always cheer me up:)
Anyway after spending sometime in there some people because curious of my condition as they didnt know too much about it and wanted to know more.
Some people had their own thoughts on the matter and while I was almost offended by some of those thoughts I realised lack of education on the subject was probably the reason behind this.
Here are two of the thoughts that were shared by a few of the members:
1: Schizophrenics are scary and violent
2: Schizophrenics are unpredictable
These are the two thoughts shared that day that really stood out for me as you can imagine its not nice to be perceived in such a light, I blame this mostly on the media. Every now and then you will read a story about a sufferer of the condition going off the rails and murdering someone, I must stress this is very rare and the only reason why the media reports it.
More people commit serious crime daily and have no mental illness's.
Sorry if this post seems slightly jumbled I have trouble putting things into words sometimes I just wanted to get how I feel off my chest as i was a little upset over peoples immediate thoughts.
Iv compiled a little bit of information that will follow in a minute in the hope I may help educate people on the subject a little.
:
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia because at the time I was a nervous wreck, I was suspicious of everyone I thought there was a bigger plan against me and if people didnt fall in with my perceptions of this plan i became even more suspicious, I even went through a phase of believing people could read my mind, I mean I know logically people cannot read my mind but it was the idea, it just stuck with me and I couldnt get it out.
I was hallucinating pretty much all the time auditory meaning i was hearing chatter, constant noise even in quite rooms didnt matter where I was I was hearing what sounded like a untuned radio sometimes though that untuned radio was very clear and lets just say the broadcasts that came through were not very pleasant but id rather not go into too much deph about that.
Visually I was seeing things that werent there especially at night time while in bed, from strange dark people walking around my room at night lurching over me as I tried to sleep, to floating faces...in fact the floating faces were the most common they were normally faces of people that I had known who had died it was terrifying.
I dont suffer so badly from the hallucinations anymore because im controlled medicinally.
My biggest challenge is strange thinking, I sometimes feel manic im unable to pin point down thoughts properly and everythings jumbled up.
I am unable to concentrate on things for a great length of time making reading difficult sometimes my mind wanders and I cant help it, if someones talking to me for over a few minutes my mind again wanders and i can often appear to be starring into space and apparently i can stay like that for a while without even realising it, some what catatonic.
I sometimes feel very isolated and it can make life very depressing, I dont go out anymore really unless its the 1 minute walk to my parents house, iv practically quit my job, not been there in 9 months and when I did go back for a trial week when I thought I was better my boss asked me If i wanted to hurt myself, or anyone else. That really upset me and I hid away from the outside world yet again, this perception that im gonna hurt someone really gets me down, iv never been violent and never will.
Please if your going to speak to me in future please dont assume the worst I know this post is really mega long but I just wanted to get a few things off my chest allot of people had been asking me what I see hallucination wise and various other questions so here's your chance to have a look into my mind for a day.
I hope this helps if anyone has any questions dont hesitate to ask me but please I must stress im not a murderer i dont want to hurt anyone
Anyway after spending sometime in there some people because curious of my condition as they didnt know too much about it and wanted to know more.
Some people had their own thoughts on the matter and while I was almost offended by some of those thoughts I realised lack of education on the subject was probably the reason behind this.
Here are two of the thoughts that were shared by a few of the members:
1: Schizophrenics are scary and violent
2: Schizophrenics are unpredictable
These are the two thoughts shared that day that really stood out for me as you can imagine its not nice to be perceived in such a light, I blame this mostly on the media. Every now and then you will read a story about a sufferer of the condition going off the rails and murdering someone, I must stress this is very rare and the only reason why the media reports it.
More people commit serious crime daily and have no mental illness's.
Sorry if this post seems slightly jumbled I have trouble putting things into words sometimes I just wanted to get how I feel off my chest as i was a little upset over peoples immediate thoughts.
Iv compiled a little bit of information that will follow in a minute in the hope I may help educate people on the subject a little.
:
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia because at the time I was a nervous wreck, I was suspicious of everyone I thought there was a bigger plan against me and if people didnt fall in with my perceptions of this plan i became even more suspicious, I even went through a phase of believing people could read my mind, I mean I know logically people cannot read my mind but it was the idea, it just stuck with me and I couldnt get it out.
I was hallucinating pretty much all the time auditory meaning i was hearing chatter, constant noise even in quite rooms didnt matter where I was I was hearing what sounded like a untuned radio sometimes though that untuned radio was very clear and lets just say the broadcasts that came through were not very pleasant but id rather not go into too much deph about that.
Visually I was seeing things that werent there especially at night time while in bed, from strange dark people walking around my room at night lurching over me as I tried to sleep, to floating faces...in fact the floating faces were the most common they were normally faces of people that I had known who had died it was terrifying.
I dont suffer so badly from the hallucinations anymore because im controlled medicinally.
My biggest challenge is strange thinking, I sometimes feel manic im unable to pin point down thoughts properly and everythings jumbled up.
I am unable to concentrate on things for a great length of time making reading difficult sometimes my mind wanders and I cant help it, if someones talking to me for over a few minutes my mind again wanders and i can often appear to be starring into space and apparently i can stay like that for a while without even realising it, some what catatonic.
I sometimes feel very isolated and it can make life very depressing, I dont go out anymore really unless its the 1 minute walk to my parents house, iv practically quit my job, not been there in 9 months and when I did go back for a trial week when I thought I was better my boss asked me If i wanted to hurt myself, or anyone else. That really upset me and I hid away from the outside world yet again, this perception that im gonna hurt someone really gets me down, iv never been violent and never will.
Please if your going to speak to me in future please dont assume the worst I know this post is really mega long but I just wanted to get a few things off my chest allot of people had been asking me what I see hallucination wise and various other questions so here's your chance to have a look into my mind for a day.
I hope this helps if anyone has any questions dont hesitate to ask me but please I must stress im not a murderer i dont want to hurt anyone