Health Anxiety? - Long Post

[Micky82]

Hi everyone.

Just to tell you a little about myself - I am 27 years old and am a born worrier. I was a hard drug user on a daily basis for nearly 7 years which I do not think has improved my mental state despite being clean for over 5 years. I have a lot of moles which are a constant cause of worry for me.

Now, I have always worried about my health and googled things and took trips to the doctors fairly regularly but it has never had a huge impact on my life. All that changed a couple of weeks ago.

For the past 6-8 months I have been having various pains, most noticeably beneath my shoulder blade and a burning sensation in the left side of my neck. 2 weeks ago the shoulder pain came on in a public place, the next thing I was having chest pain and couldn't breathe and honestly thought I was going to die. My father called a paramedic and they did some checks in the back of the ambulance - all clear - and they said it was probably a panic attack. Feeling like a fraud as I so often have down the years I carried on with the day but the symptoms persisted and have persisted for the past fortnight making my life a living hell. Symptoms I am experiencing:-

Back pain
Pain in my lungs
Pain in the front of my chest (as if someone is sat on it)
Nausea
Dizziness
Breathing difficulties - I feel like my breathing is stopping unless I concentrate on it
Indigestion / Heartburn (I have been taking Omeprazole for the past 6 months for this)
Fatigue and depression

I have seen two doctors, paramedics and have been to A&E twice in the past 2 weeks. I have had a chest x-ray, ECG's, blood pressure tests and all have come back clear. The doctor I saw yesterday said he could hear a pleuritic rub on my lung and has prescribed an anti-inflammatory.

However, I am absolutely convinced I am dying. I have diagnosed myself with a Brain Tumour (the dizziness), a Pulmonary Embolism (my father had one of these earlier in the year which has heightened my fear) and today I have spent my day googling about Oesophageal cancer convinced I have it due to my indigestion and heart burn. All this has just been in the past couple of days. Every night I go to sleep convinced I will not wake up and I am suffering with bad apnea on the verge of sleep every night which is making me even more hysterical. I am starting to realise that maybe my problem is mental and I am just making myself worse and worse so my questions are - do it sound as though this may be a mental problem and most importantly what should I do?

[Adelle]

Hi, Im no expert but it does sound like all your symptoms are mental. As I have learnt from this forum the symptoms are real but stem from our health anxiety. I was also born a worrier. Have always been concerned about my moles. I hope you are feeling better by the time you read this post and just know that your not alone. :hugs:

[Utility]

Hi

The fact that you have been checked out by a couple GP's and the hospital is the main thing. So it certainly sounds like some sort of anxiety.

[lauren6]

Mickey, I wonder if your doctor has done an endoscopy on you. I have had 2 and was asleep, knew nothing. If you are afraid of esophageal cancer (so was I, I have reflux too), get the test. I did not have Barrett's or anything, just an irritation and I also take an acid inhibitor.

Take one thing at a time and rule it out. However, I know what it's like to have health anxiety. You get an all clear...til the next week when it's something else. Why we do this to ourselves, I don't know. Years of therapy never taught me why. You only posted once here so maybe you are new, or maybe you've been looking for years, but I would like to suggest a book or two. One is "Stop Worrying About Your Health" and the other is "It's Not All In Your Head".

This is the best few dollars you can spend. Start with the books...if this doesn't help, search for a cognitive therapist that seems to know how to treat health anxiety. The books help me when I am going through a hard time. Maybe in the long run they will help more but they are the best of the lot and I have read them all.

We understand here, on this board. You're not alone...and it's so hard to live like this. For many of us, not a day goes by without some fear of some illness, some symptom that terrifies us. If you would like a great book on anxiety, please pick up The Anxiety And Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne. I have 60+ books on anxiety disorders and this is the best. This can help tremendously with panic attacks. It helped me more than any therapist with general anxiety.

You are very wise to recognize that it IS mental. Not that you (we) don't feel the physical feelings...anxiety manifests with so many lousy feeling, like you said, nausea, etc...but acknowledging this is the first step to getting over this condition. The book I mentioned, It's Not All In Your Head talks about the symptoms being indeed real.

Please let me know if you get these books. I always check this board. You sound so insightful and determined to get over this...and you can.

[Micky82]

Hi all, thanks for your replies. I have not had an endoscopy done but it was something I was considering. The problem is that I get to the stage when I just feel stupid going to the doctors. I was looking at Barium Meal & Swallows and Gastrocopy's on BUPA thinking I would pay for one myself but they are pretty expensive so I think I need to ask my GP if I can be referred and talk to him about my concerns.

I had a flexible sigmoidoscopy a few years ago and at the time was convinced I had bowel cancer (I guess probably impossible for someone in their 20's but still...) and was diagnosed with IBS which has persisted down the years and my movements have not really been normal since. Pretty interesting as reading through the boards yesterday a lot of people seem to suffer with IBS.

In those days although I had those concerns I would shrug it off. I believed I had whichever illness it was at the time, usually terminal, but I just thought 'I'm going to die, so what?' and carried on with life. Nowadays I'm thinking about what happens after death (I've got a big hangup on hell at the moment which keeps me from sleeping some nights) and the fact that I don't actually want to die and I think this is making me worse.

Lauren I will definately look into those books as soon as possible. Could I ask with your acid reflux - does it ever cause neck or ear problems? I'm sure I read it does but do not want google it. I woke this morning with a burning all around my neck (not really a sore throat) and my ears feel like they are blocked. I often feel like this upon waking.

[lauren6]

Yes, when my acid reflux acts up, I sometimes have to squinch my face up because the pain actually goes into my neck and face. Ears, yes, a bit but this is SO uncomfortable. My best friend gets the same thing. I take my fingers and massage my neck downwards...it just seems to be gas pressing on a nerve or something, who knows why but this is common. I googled it a long time ago and found so many people saying the same thing.

Don't worry about the docs thinking we're this or that...they are so used to terrified patients. I tell mine right up front that I have health anxiety but he also knows that things can go wrong with a person, we are realistic about this, that we can't attribute everything to anxiety.

I will say that even though you and I are on an acid reducer, we can still get a flareup if we eat the wrong things. I ate a ton of chocolate the other day and onions and for the first time in months, got the symptoms. Took a few Tums and it went away but I don't think I'll do that again.

Mickey, like I said, take one thing at a time. I have moles and as scared as I was, took myself to the dermatologist, braved it and took the tiny lidocaine injection to numb the skin (this is nothing, it's 1 second) and let them remove it for biopsy. Better to go through a few days waiting for test results than walking around anxious all the time.

Great on getting the books!

[eightball]

Hi everyone.



Back pain
Pain in my lungs
Pain in the front of my chest (as if someone is sat on it)
Nausea
Dizziness
Breathing difficulties - I feel like my breathing is stopping unless I concentrate on it
Indigestion / Heartburn (I have been taking Omeprazole for the past 6 months for this)
Fatigue and depression



Hi Micky.
Reading your post makes feel like I wrote it myself as I feel like shouting "SNAP.. I have that too"
Im 34 and have had the same symptoms for the last 7 months. This year I have seen 1 person die of cancer, another been told he has it and the treatment isnt working and various other people get other illnesses (Kidney disease etc!) I started ut by getting very dizzy and faint all the way to suffering from air hunger. I told the Dr (for the 3rd time) and they put me on Citalopram which I think is working. But because I get health anxiety I keep thinking the side effects were another cancer. So be careful if you do go on any meds. Let me know how your feeling yeah?

[Micky82]

Hi eightball

Whilst I wouldn't wish these things on anyone I must admit it is so comforting to know people are having the same feelings. I too have had a year of people getting different things - my father had a heart attack then a week later was back in hospital with a clot on the lung - he has just finished a 6 month course of warfarin to clear it. Also a guy at work (spends 6 days a week in the gym, eats right, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke etc.) has just had surgery for bowel cancer. I'm thinking if people living good clean lives get these things what chance do I stand when I drink and smoke too much and eat a lot of rubbish.

Think all this has probably built up and problems with my body that used to concern me a little are now becoming a major part of my life.