panic attack at work - scared of going back

[penny0305]

hi - ive been suffering from anxiety for years - even as a child, but over the past couple of months it has got really bad. My docs precribed amitryptiline - which i have taken in the past with no problems - but it doesnt seem to be working. Some nights i can get some sleep but others its impossible without sleeping tablets - which worries me (because i dont want to be addicted to anything) and makes the vicious cycle worse! Ive always managed to hold it together at work but on thursday i had an awful panic attack at work. I work in a VERY front line customer service business and I just felt overwhelmed. I didnt actually pass out but started to shake uncontrollably, went white as a sheet and couldnt get my breath. It went on for ages and was in full view of everyone in a busy office. I think everyone just assumed that i was ill and my boss rang me later at home to say how worried she was because I was shaking and that i must get my blood pressure checked etc. My doctor offered to sign me off until i felt better a couple of weeks ago but I said no because going into work has always taken my mind off it. Im due back on monday and just thinking about it is causing me awful anxiety. I know im going to have to be honest with my boss about the fact that I am on antidepressants and that it was a panic attack but I do not think they will look sympathetically upon it.I feel like im stuck betwen a rock and a hard place - if i go back I have convinced myself that it will happen again once i am in the same situation - but if i dont go back Im terrified of losing my job and all the implications of that. Id be so grateful for any advice - these panic attacks are a relatively new thing for me andI find them terrifying - it feels like I am going to die. i know its daft but my logical mind seems to go out of the window when it happens!

[Luci-loo]

Your boss sounds really nice, not many would call you at home to ask if you were feeling better.

I'd speak with your boss about your panic attacks and see if there is a way to help you cope a little better. Would it be possible for you to step away for a moment or two if it happens again? Perhaps if you have steps in place for if it happens the chances of it happening again are slimmer because you know you can step away and just take a moment.

You boss can't fire you for having an illness- would they sack someone who had broken a leg or had a heart attack? No because I'm pretty sure it's illegal unless you are taking loads of time of work. I'd explain everything to them and explain that even though the doctor asked if you wanted time off you decided to come back to work face up to things, that can surely only work in your favour. I'd exoect them to ask a lot of questions, not because they are nosey but because they will want to understand whats going on and how they can help.

Last but by no means least well done for going back after such a scary experience.

[Utility]

Hi

Luci-loo is correct, your employer sounds as though they will be supportive in this situation.
Explain to them about how sometimes you may experience an anxiety attack and could possibly need a few minutes away from your work station. Remember that all employers are duty bound to provide support to any employee that reports a work related illness, no matter what it may be.
No boss wants a productive member of staff off ill with anxiety if they can help it and will go out of their to support someone in whatever way they can.

[den68]

i had awful ones at work and working at a dentist have ended up lying down in the dental chair shaking, white as a ghost and everyone thinking i was going to pass out. I told my boss the truth once i knew and had to take a few weeks off. I remember telling him im not ill its all in my mind just ignore me but he said you are ill the same as you would be with anything else and i had permission to go outside or have a sit down or even go home and work at home on bad days. i am back doing my normal hours and job now and find if it starts which isnt often now 5 minutes is enough then im fine. Your employer has seen how ill it makes you give them a chance they probably will want to help you

[penny0305]

Thank you for all your replies - it is a comfort to know Im not the only one who feels this way. It feels very lonely when the panic sets in. Im going to try and go into work tomorrow. I know Im going to have to be truthful with my boss now and not just pass it off as a virus/feeling faint like I have in the past. I work in a busy college office so am in direct contact with students who can be very challenging at times! Im alright when working at my desk on the computer, but dread going on reception to do 'my stint' (as we operate a rota system). The dread builds up and I start feeling bad as soon as I go on reception, so Im psyching myself into having a panic attack (if you know what I mean). I know that after last week I cant just gloss over it. Another lady in the office was off with depression for weeks last year and it wasnt looked kindly upon - lots of unkind comments were made. In fairness to them , it is an incredibly busy office - especially at the start of term - and we all have a massive workload. I just wish I could cope wit it the same way as others manage to do, but thats just the nature of it I suppose.
Once again thankyou for taking the time to reply. Ill post tomorrow and let you know how its gone!

[munkeyinblack]

Just wanted to say good luck and i hope all goes well x

[Luci-loo]

Good luck for tomorrow, hope it all goes well.