PDA

View Full Version : PURE obsessional OCD



mum2four
23-10-05, 13:08
Pure Obsessional OCD

Defined

The chronic anxiety disorder pure obsessional OCD, commonly called Pure O, is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder. It is distinct from traditional OCD in that it features no outward manifestations; instead, both the anxiety-inducing obsessions and relief-seeking compulsions of OCD take place in the mind.

With standard OCD, the compulsions manifest as physical rituals: excessive hand-washing, checking, cleaning. With Pure O, the compulsions manifest as unseen mental rituals, but they are compulsions nonetheless, which is why the term "pure obsessional" is somewhat imprecise.

With ongoing progress in mental health research, including fine-tuning in the field of anxiety, diagnoses of pure obsessional OCD have increased in recent years. Sufferers in the past were likely assigned broader diagnoses such as generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder or standard OCD, possibly resulting in misdirected care.

Left untreated, Pure O can be debilitating to the sufferer, who often finds work and social time consumed by the condition. While OCD is an anxiety disorder, the longterm effects of its stress can include exhaustion and depression.

Symptoms and nature of the condition

A person with Pure O experiences periods of intense rumination that are triggered by intrusive or unwanted thoughts, sometimes called "spikes." Spike traits vary widely by individual, dictated by personal makeup and circumstance. Some frequently cited illustrations include:

* A heterosexual man is making love with his wife when the name of his male best friend happens to flash through his mind.
* A loving mother spots a pillow and has a momentary apprehension of infanticide.
* A young bachelor checks a mirror prior to a date and feels a surge of confidence, but shortly afterward cannot recall what exactly led to that feeling of pride.
* An aspiring painter glances at one of her works and experiences a sense of insecurity about her abilities.

Of course, these instances are not unique to those with Pure O; they are the sorts of day-to-day emotions and quirks experienced by human beings across the board. And for most people, such thoughts are passing and benign; at worst, they are momentarily jarring. For the Pure-O sufferer, however, such thoughts can be the spikes that induce panicky obsession, leading to an amplified sense of fear or self-doubt.

To neutralize the perceived danger presented by the spike, the Pure O is compelled into rumination, an often intricate mental routine driven by a pressing need to "solve" the fear or uncertainty. Ruminations vary from person to person. One type of rumination may involve continually reconjuring an unpleasant scenario. Another example might be an effort to precisely recall the sequence and order of thoughts that led to the spike.

These ruminations are accompanied by anxiety ranging from mild to severe, and can endure for extensive stretches, often hours at a time. Sufferers have described episodes that persist over a series of days. In most every instance, the rumination is all-consuming, essentially taking full occupation of the mind. During rumination, sufferers often find themselves unable to turn their focus to anything else, including "legitimate" sources of stress or danger. For instance: Genuinely bad news -- say, word of a friend's hospitalization -- may not trump or even penetrate the anxiety felt by an OCD sufferer who is ruminating on even a seemingly innocuous matter.

Like most OCD sufferers, those with Pure O wrestle with their disorder on a daily basis. They also largely recognize that their obsessions and compulsions are irrational. But without OCD treatment, such cognitive awareness may be of little benefit while under the deeper grip of the disorder.

Distinguishing Pure O and stress

It is important to distinguish between the clinical condition of Pure O specifically, or OCD generally, and what is casually called "obsessiveness" by the wider population in relation to stressful events.

For instance, a typical ma

rozza
23-10-05, 19:06
I found this on a website and although I am now feeling miles better it completely relates to how I've thought on many occasions. It is scary but you do have to understand that these thoughts are just that, thoughts, not actions and not intent.

'* Purely Obsessional OCD (Pure O) *
This is when people have thoughts that disturb them, and lead them to spending a large amount of time reassuring themselves (also referred to as ruminating). A typical example of this would be: when a person sees a knife, and suddenly the thought flashes through their mind to stab someone with it, perhaps even a friend or family member that is with them at the time. A man or woman who knows they are straight having a sexual thought about their friend of the same sex. These people will then spend hours reassuring themselves that they are not capable of murder, that they do not have those sort of feelings toward their friend etc... but as the OCD starts to get a grip, they then start to believe they must be crazy and start hiding knives and other things for fear of what they may do. For some... thoughts of suicide are part of what they have to shake off. Imagine for example, you are waiting to cross a road and suddenly, the thought of throwing yourself in front of a car enters your mind... you know you are not suicidal, but now this doubt is in your mind, and you start questioning yourself, but of course, the more you agonise and punish yourself, the more important it will be made to your subconscious mind, and therefore, you actually end up having these thoughts more frequently. They don't trust themselves, and every day becomes a battle with their mind.'

I hope you start feeling better soon and can get some help. Have you had any form of CBT?

Roz x

'All I want is to be normally insane' Marlon Brando

doddy
23-10-05, 20:19
thanks you two,

both really interesting and so true.

i was definately suffering with this kinda of obsession, weird thoughts and so on and songs that played in my head that drove me mad!!! not literally i might add.

anyways, from having load of these thoughts and spending hours if not days going over them, i now get them occasionally, probably just like the reat of the human race, and they go as quckly as they came.

cbt really helped, but make sure they deal with the spikes, lose the fear of the spikes and then u just simply dont bother to go over them as they no longer scare you.

andy

mum2four
23-10-05, 22:21
Thank you for message's.

The spike That I have had since I was little I thonk have way too much power over me.

I have gotten to the point that i can't get up and do my dishes cause I'm afriad my children will be behind and thay asks me aquestion and I will have something dangeous like a knife in my hand's and I'll turn around to talk them and i accedenlty stab them or something. Sp I try to plan my day in my head over and over so that I can be in the kitchen to do the dishes in a safe way but I seriously freak out if one of my kids comes in to talk me while I'm doing the dishes. It make my heart pound and I tell them to go away and leave me to the dishes. If thay keep caming back to talk to me I give up doing the dishes and walk away. I never do all my dishes at once because i get so angry at the dishes that I'm afriad I'm going to throw something across the room and hit my kids by accident so i hide away from the kitchen till i'm ready to deal with the dishes again till i find that eva elusive time in my day that i feel safe enought to go do the dishes.

The spikes are what has driven to avoid house work the way i do that are the reason I feel safer and calmer when I'm home alone. I think it also explains why i tell my self I'm better off with out friend's. It explains why I would tell me mother that I hate her so she would leave me alone. It explain why i have pushed so many people away from me including my kids at time's. I'M SO SCARED THAT I WILL BE THE PERSON THAT HURTS THE PEOPLE AROUND ME.

I use to get a spike that was a image of me drowning my self in the bath. That is when my fear having a bath at night time really kicked in I linked it to me fear of window's and my fear of some one braking in and hurting me and start to avoid having a bath a night. I never stay in the bath long i only recently enjoyed full bath's of water.

I fear that i will be that one that take's med's away from the a person that need them more if i go to the Dr. I fear that I will be taking time away from people that need it more if i go the dr. so so so many more.

I have let these spike's control my life and decide when I can do thing and how long i con do them for and who's around me when i do them. I hate being watched by people because and not knowing why cause I'm not want any one in my way if i have a panic attack what I some how run striagt on to them and split ther head open. I dont my my activety when my kids are aournd cause I'm afraid that i will have a spike and then some how some where follow threw with it or the bad luck will hit me or I'll become accedent prone. It explain my fear of money and not wanting speand it on ME I'f afraid that the money i spend I my self will mean my kids will go hungry even when i know that is so far from the truth. I cant organise the budget so that it has thing for me planed in it. When ever I do some how manage to put thing in the budget fo me I undo my thinking with more thinking when it come to using that money for what i planed to use for.

I could go on for ever and ever with this thing My planing obsession is so far out of control it not funny any more even to me. BUT i still cant stop do it and if I forget a step or it dosn't go to PLAN it just tears me down in side i have to think about why it didn't go to plan why so i can do a better job next.

At my worst I was thinking all day long and hiding in bed that was when I was treated for depression. I felt like i couldn't get out of bed unless i found the perfect plan for my day ahead of me. The only I know that works for me is to not plan anything. Do as little as posible and I'll be fine NOT cause then I the one who forgot to wash the clothes that no one can wear now because i forgot so i have ruined there day so i dont deserve to have fun for my self. I'v been pushing threw the spike's for 3 year now but when eva I add a new person or event to my life the spike's get worse again so i pull back and have to deal with the spike again. That why I feel trapped by soceiety expecation's I've link my spikes to society

mum2four
26-10-05, 00:44
I'm seriously thinking I do this Pure O OCD because what els would make me over think the house work. What els would cause me THINK for hour's about getting off my but to put simple load of washing on. I new it was simple I new it wouldn't take long I new I wasn't going to get hurt or run in to anyone in my laundry. I told my self that it was just lazy and I just need to stop thinking and do it. Nothing worked I kind go in out my own world in side my head intently when i was trying to convince my self then i feel like i made the choice to get up and walk to other end of the house and come back and sit donw then later that night I would realise that i had forget to put the washing on and i realied that I got over welmed by other little job that had to be done that i for the one thing i had planed to do. example as I was walking I past toy's and kids thing's i would be thinking who put the there how that get there it wassn;t there 5 mins ago ect and I would get so anoyed that I had cyclone kira(my 8y)and wirlwind willow(6y) and I'd get stuck on thinking about how I was going to get to girl's to stop making mess when never I was not paying 100% attenstion. Then I forget to put the washing on. This kind of thinking was an all day thing and I was so frustrated that I would have to go away and calm down before I could ask the kids to clean up the mess thay made. Then it would take hour's to get them just to pick a fue things up.

Since being on Luvox I have notice that I'm not as frantic about getting thing done I'm not as frustrated when I do them. If asked a question about something as simple as what's for tea I'm not getting all flustered because it dosn'e seem like such a daunting task anymore. I feel like i'm still thinking way to much but there are less posiblties to pick from I feel less over welmed by my spike's that would normaly flash threw my mind like a picture show about every single posiable senario or choice or path ect that ever existed or was posable. I'm still getting a fue spike's that make it still a little hard but there a so fue that it's easier to make my mind up about the best thing to do or have. While I dont really think i doing much more than before everything just seem so much easier to exist in this world.

Naseerah
03-08-09, 22:45
ive always thought that ocd was traditional ocd, like u know doing repetitive tasks whatever......so when i started getting symptoms of my illness, i thought that I was the only freak on the planet! I think ive had Pure O longer than I have realised, when I think back now I realise I started to get the symptoms way back before. I dont feel normal like my friends, when i go out, and somebody says something it'll immediately trigger off thoughts and ill play it over and over in my mind and i cant stop and then i tihnk im a sick person and the same thought will run for days, as soon as I wake up whilst more thoughts are going on tiggered off by sometihng else. I cant hide out anywhere... i have a really big family like there is ten of us in the house and most of the time its them that triggers of the thoughts....i get bad sexual thoughts or thoughts and images of killing someone... family... friends.... and like today i read the word 'porn' somehwere and then i started to think of women which is soooo not what i am attracted to because i am attratced to men... and images will just stick into my mind.....am i a lesbian?????? but im not because thats not what i feel? I am a muslim and I pray five times a day and I think that because of such thoughts I am an evil person. When I pray I feel my prayers are not going to be accepted because sometimes its bad thoughts about God...... like for example..... you shouldnt associate partners with God because he is alone and then I tihnk of worhiping idols or the sun... or whatever... what the??? Thats not what i believe or feel at all... Because of this, I feel as though im going to be punished realy badly... im going to to get bad grades... something stupid things like that.... or even worse go to hell.... and my prayers are pointless because their never going to be accpeted.... so that is now becoming a burden on me.....

I dont what to do or who to tell, i feel as though i cant tell my friends or family because they wont understand.... Ive just finished my first year in a levels, and i started to bunk off lessons... and i have no clue whats going on and started to really slack... all i want to do is sleep because that is when i have peace of mind.... Im dreading to go back to school because this year is so important to me...... I love art and that is what i want to do, that is what takes my mind off things but now i dont even do that and im losing the one thing i love, and if i dont get my act together i know im going to fail my final year... i am perfectly capable but i just cant concentrate in lessons.....

peanuts
05-08-09, 14:11
Sounds like you should go and see your GP?

tiredOfOcd
05-08-09, 14:38
I feel like i'm still thinking way to much but there are less posiblties to pick from I feel less over welmed by my spike's that would normaly flash threw my mind like a picture show about every single posiable senario or choice or path ect that ever existed or was posable. I'm still getting a fue spike's that make it still a little hard but there a so fue that it's easier to make my mind up about the best thing to do or have. While I dont really think i doing much more than before everything just seem so much easier to exist in this world.

My OCD is pure obsessional OCD. The few compulsions I have are so minor I was able to recognize/stop/control them on my own.

Sounds like your story has a happy ending. You are getting control of your life back by learning how to deal with the OCD when it crops up.

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

KEEP IT UP!!!!!!!!!!

tiredOfOcd
05-08-09, 17:55
ive always thought that ocd was traditional ocd, like u know doing repetitive tasks whatever......so when i started getting symptoms of my illness, i thought that I was the only freak on the planet!


You aren't a freak. I have strictly obsessional ocd. I'll bet your ability to concentrate on something (in a non ocd fashion) is off the charts. Mine is, and it comes in handy due to my job.



I cant hide out anywhere


There's no need to hide. You know what this is. You know your brain has the tendency to do this. You CAN recognize it when its happening.

I know you can, because I have to do the same to keep mine from controlling me. Its an ongoing battle, but I'm winning more than I did before ;-)



... i have a really big family like there is ten of us in the house and most of the time its them that triggers of the thoughts....i get bad sexual thoughts or thoughts and images of killing someone... family... friends.... and like today i read the word 'porn' somehwere and then i started to think of women which is soooo not what i am attracted to because i am attratced to men... and images will just stick into my mind.....am i a lesbian?????? but im not because thats not what i feel? I am a muslim and I pray five times a day and I think that because of such thoughts I am an evil person. When I pray I feel my prayers are not going to be accepted because sometimes its bad thoughts about God...... like for example..... you shouldnt associate partners with God because he is alone and then I tihnk of worhiping idols or the sun... or whatever... what the???


Like I said, you recognize your brain does this. Recognizing it is the first step to controlling it. Try this (I do it and it works for me) when an unpleasant intrusive thought pops up imaging a stop sign and scream "STOP" in your head, you don't want to scare anyone ;-)

Yes, you'll be doing this almost constantly at first but over time (and I don't know how long) the intrusive thoughts will become less and less frightening.



Thats not what i believe or feel at all... Because of this, I feel as though im going to be punished realy badly... im going to to get bad grades... something stupid things like that.... or even worse go to hell.... and my prayers are pointless because their never going to be accpeted.... so that is now becoming a burden on me.....


I've used to feel that way too. I'd lay awake and night and tell myself I was bound for hell.

Then I thought - "wait a minute. I'm not a bad guy. I don't do bad things. I try to help people. What's more important - the thoughts that fly thru my head and cause me all kinds of suffering or my actions?"

If that doesn't work for you - God sees all and knows all. So He knows EXACTLY what's in your head, and what its about. He knew it was OCD long before you did.

You do need to get yourself some help though. There's no reason to go thru this by yourself - and in fact its almost impossible to.

Cakey
06-08-09, 09:00
Do you find that OCD of any kind is more prominent when you are tired or overly tired? Or is that just me?

tiredOfOcd
06-08-09, 11:56
Do you find that OCD of any kind is more prominent when you are tired or overly tired? Or is that just me?

Typically, when I'm very tired I get a break from my symptoms. There's only so much mental energy the body can expend.

But that's just me - its possible exhaustion is one of your triggers.

peanuts
06-08-09, 12:56
Do you find that OCD of any kind is more prominent when you are tired or overly tired? Or is that just me?


Yes Deffo!!! Its a bid problem, and when I am hungover and tired - I am a bit of a nervous wreck..

Cakey
06-08-09, 17:14
I have started to notice that pattern. I have been woken up early the last few days and do feel tired. Although my feelings aren't as harsh as they were they still niggle in the background.

mlondon
13-03-13, 20:56
Thanks this is a really useful thread. I was diagnosed with GAD but believe it is now Pure O. Which for me at its extreme can result in prolonged panic. I definately have it more when I am tired or stressed. I remember first getting it when i was 25. I also remember what it is like not to have it, i probably still had a weird thought like anyone else but didnt pay any attention to it. I believe the trick is to lose the fear but i am still working on how to do that. Any tips appreciated.

mt1
06-07-13, 20:14
I have just found this site and cant tell you how relieved it has made me feel.
Sunday night last week i smoked a cannabis joint and then went to bed i then started getting visions of hurting those close to me, like snapping there necks as they slept and the terror it filled me with has not left me since that moment.
suffice to say i have since that point not smoked any more weed as i thought that was the cause of the thoughts i have been smoking for the best part of 20 years.Turns out i was wrong i have been feeling amazingly paranoid, anxious and having a lot more bad thoughts since that moment i have not sleep properly in three days and my every waking moment is filled fear and panic. To the point were i cant be in the same room as my 6 yr old daughter who i love so much because of the ultra disturbing thoughts in my head i have just sent my partner away to stay with family for the night and had designs on killing myself in order to protect them but this site has made me reconsider that. I WOULD NEVER HURT MY FAMILY AND LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

strongerthanmyfears
20-08-13, 18:51
I actually really do find that pure o OCD is heightened when I'm tired. I also feel an extreme case of depersonalization when I'm tired. It's really scary... and I feel like being this way might have me lose control and actually act out on my unwanted thoughts of hurting the people around me.. I would never ever ever ever want to do that. I won't allow myself to. I simply cannot and would not ever pick up as knife and kill ANYONE. But, the fact that I'm still having IMAGES and THINKING of doing so is so uncomfortable and off putting. I find it extremely hard to live a normal happy life. In school I'm afraid of killing someone I sit next to in class, so I sit by myself. On bad days, when it seems like the spikes won't stop coming, I will avoid touching my boyfriend. I will avoid be around friends. I will just crawl into my bed and try to read or preoccupy myself, praying to God that my family doesn't walk in, so I would have another thought about murdering them. I cry so hard over these thoughts. Mostly because I couldn't think of anything more scary or devastating than having my loved ones killed, or worse, killed by me! Just typing that line made me want to cry. I have seen a therapist once, but it only seemed to make things worse. He didn't give me any answers that I'd hoped to hear, and after having the appointment with him, it caused me to think about it even more and had substantially intrusive spikes for days following. A good day for me will be when I'm just plain depressed. Few spikes, but just mainly the depression of not wanting the spikes to occur and knowing that they will sooner or later. A bad day is when it's disabling. I can barely move out of so much fear. I can barely speak or interact. I force myself to sleep so that I don't have to deal with this sort of life... I just wan't everything to be back to normal. This has been happening to me for a little over a month now, and I am at my breaking point! I now have thoughts of not only harming others, but harming myself. Hanging myself on my tree in my back yard, slitting my wrists. It makes me feel almost better when I'm having a murderous thought, and instead of stabbing someone else with the knife, I turn it around on myself. I wish that all my thoughts were of me hurting myself so that I wouldn't have to go through this terrible pain of possibly losing control and hurting another human being. Take me instead. I'm sick of this. My only outlook is sleep. Surprisingly I have no nightmares really... I used to before this. Maybe because my day-to-day thoughts ARE a nightmare! But,the thing is, I don't get too much sleep. I am 17 years old and a full time student. I work up to 30 hours a week at my work in which I am a nighttime shift leader. I don't get home to late, and I have to wake up very early, sometimes getting only 3-4 hours of sleep a night. Though, I DESPERATELY need more! Anyways, I'll wrap this up. I feel completely helpless. Hopeless. Exhausted. Sometimes I fantasize about being put into a controlled coma so I don't have to live this way. This is taking a huge toll on my relationship with my boyfriend of over a year. It's making me seclude myself from the public and my family. I have no where else to turn. Please help me. I am not a murderer, but I feel like my soul is trapt in the mind of a serial killer. I am SO scared.


P.S - When I was younger, around 8 or 9, I experienced some things that were not normal... I had thoughts in my head that were very disturbing. Some were like they are now, but most were things like; for example: "Go jump in that pool with all your clothes on, or your family will die horribly" So I would jump in the pool.

P.P.S - Around the time that this all started (around a month ago, it happened July 25th, it's August 20th today) I ate an edible marajuana brownie that had vaporizer hash in it. It was very potent and I had a huge brownie. I tripped out for days and days after - it was the worst experience of my life!! And I haven't felt the same since! Could there be a connection? Is that stupid brownie the reason my life is a living HELL right now??

Please help...