getting better

[darkphantom]

Hi
I know i not welcome here but just felt that there are a few people here who i care about and love, and i would give anything to have their friendship back even if just chatting to start with,
It been over month now and just wanted to say, i am working so hard on getting better, i have been spending alot of time writing my articles and stories, and have had a article excepted by a magazine, i have also been busy painting and i hope to have a exbition of my work in our local library and others. i started painting landscapes in oils which i find helps me alot and instead of hitting i take out my paint brushes and paint a landscape that i could escape too. im getting my diabeties under control which is helping. and i feel alot happier in my self, And i am hoping to make one life changing move in my life which is going to make me so happy but cant say much at the moment. my aim for the next few weeks is to work hard at my art and become a successful artist and writer. I am taking much bigger steps along my recovery road.
I just want to say once again im sorry it wasnt the susie you knew, and i am asking you all if i can take small steps to build my friendship and support with you at least can we start talking i missed you all and worry every day about you all hating me. please im doing ok, but with christmas coming up it always lonely for me and though i stronger it would be nice just to know someone still cares to give me second chance .

thank you
and i think bout you all everyday and hope you all ok
love you all
susie xxxx

[Meg]

Susie,

Really well done for working so hard towards improving your health and situation.

I am especially pleased to hear about the diabetes as with that out of control you will never feel well.

Also its really good news to hear about your art and your new refound creativity and inspiration.

Let us know whe your article is published .

Keep it going Suzie.




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[clickaway]

Hi Susie,

I imagine there will be people on this site who will find it hard to rebuild that bridge, but I for one can accept the real Susie wanting to bounce back in a positive light.

I feel that expression through art will be really beneficial to your progress.

Take Care,

Ray

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers

[tygwyn]

Well done Susie. Its sounds as though you are doing really well. Keeping yourself occupied while on the road to recovery is paramount (and difficult sometimes!) and you seem to be doing a great job of that!

Well done you!

Rach xxxx

"True acceptance means 'facing and relaxing' - it is submission" (Claire Weekes)

[Karen]

Well done for all your hard work towards your recovery Susie.

The writing and painting are really positive things to be doing and I hope all goes well.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[nomorepanic]

Susie

Well done on your progress forward. You ought to get some photos done of the artwork so we can all see it.

I am pleased that things are looking up for you now and I am glad that there is a new Susie emerging from all of this.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[leo05]

hi susie
ok i know that a lot has gone on and that you did hurt me and others yeah but i hope we can be friends maybe just online to start with to see how it goes and i know ppl with prob object but guess it up to me at end of day as it is my life yeah and just hope that you wont go back to like you were that wk cause i really could not cope if that happened again!
i do understand you are tryin to get better and i wish you all the best

plz no one hate me for my choice thanks to everyone who supported me during that horrible wk

[kate]

Leanne,

The choice you make is entirely your own. Your opinion on the matter is all that matters.

Kate

[leo05]

hey thanks kate just know some ppl might think i am mad but as you say its my choice

[darkphantom]

Hi everyone
Thankyou for your kind comments, it brought tear to my eye cos i didnt think anyone would answer.
I truely am sorry for that week, it wasnt me, that susie has gone for good, i did nearly give up but i had long hard look and talk to myself and thought the only way i could show you all how sorry i am was to work hard and bring the true susie out again, i read all your advice that you all gave me over the months from my book, and that helped me to start painting again art really helps keep your mind working for the better, i want to help others who have gone through so much that there is hope and you can get well again through painting or any hobbie just keep your mind working.
Lea thankyou to answer this must of been real hard this just goes to show you how caring you are. yes i would like to rebuild our friendship and i promise i will not hurt you again like that. i dont think i am a evil person and would like to say once again that i am sorry. please let me show you all that you will like the real susie
Thankyou i would love to send you some photos of my artwork for you to see, i will sort that out.
thankyou once again
i send all my love and support to you all, you are very special people
take care
susie:)

[nomorepanic]

Susie

At the time we were all hurt and upset but you sensibly gave it time before coming back.

I never wished you any ill feelings and I am sure you knew that. I was just so upset over it all and needed time to recollect my thoughts etc.

I hope you can build bridges with Leanne as she was effected the most.

Good luck to you.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[darkphantom]

Hi Nic
yeah thanks alot and i really am sorry, i also hope i can work on my friendship with lea, she was a good friend and i prob will never forgive my self for what i have done to her and the others, there are a couple of others who i would of like to have been given the chance of rebuilding our friendship hopefully they will in time find it in there hearts to forgive me.
thanks anyway and i am truely sorry for hurting you all
take care
love susie

[Lucy36]

Hi susie,

You know im always here for you 2 if you ever need a friendly chat with, I know how it feels when your out there alone and have no one to talk to, you take care and keep up the good work

hope to speak soon
lucy x

[Sax]

Hi Susie,

Well, I'm extremely proud of how well you seem to be doing with your art, writing and now taking more care of yourself. Well done Susie.

I'm sorry I haven't responded to this earlier as I said in my last post to you I honestly wished you well and realised you were ill at the time we last spoke.
I am not as active on the forum as perhaps i should be or would like to be so i have actually only just seen this post but your progress is phenominal and i'm really pleased to read it.

Take care Susie and again well done and keep going......

Sax xx[8D]



"Friends are the like the stars......you can't always see them but they are always there!"

[pips]

Keep up the good work Susie!

Take care,

Love PIP'S X

[leo05]

hey susie
as we have had a few chats now and as i have been telling you that ppl do not think bad of you they as i was my self just upset and worried i know i to have said some tihngs to you and i am sorry bout them i truly am and hope we can build the bridges like nic said as you have been good friend and understand that i caused some of the trouble

but lets start a fresh as it is nearly xmas and think this is time for forgiving and startin a new what you think?

lea

[darkphantom]

hi everyone
thankyou all for your replies i truely missed you all yeah i am trying real hard, i will get round to sending photos in of my art work. there are certain ppl here who i am so pleased to see reply to me cos i thought i lost you all for good.
yeah lea we had some good chats and i looking forward to us building those bridges i think we can do it.
christmas is lonely time for me specially last couple of years so i hope i can share this one with friends on this site.
thankyou once again for caring
love you all
perhaps i should paint a picture of all of you that should keep me busy for ages :D

[sal]

Hi Susie

I am pleased you have come back. How you were upset alot of people but more because they were worried about you and also that the calls they recieved really upset them and although i will say they were necessary you have apolgised and we do appreciate that. You are well aware of what happened like others are and i hope you and leanne can sort it out. I hope that you do sort it out and you realise what a great friend she has being to you and by reading your posts you have obviously missed that.

Wish you the best of luck.

Sal

[darkphantom]

Hi sal
Many thanks for replying, means alot after what happened and like to say sorry to you.
I trying hard to get better and think i am winning that battle. I hope i can start to build my friendships with ppl here. Yes Lea and I are talking and we are building the bridges back up, I hope with time we can get back to how we were, I agree she has been a very special friend to me over the months and i still get upset thinking how i hurt her and others but especially lea and i hope she will in time forgive me. she is a very special person to even think of talking to me again thanks lea if you read this.
take care
susie

[leo05]

thanks that just brought a tear to my eye as i dont think of my self as special or anything like that

[jill]

Hi Susie

Happy to hear you and lea are working things out.

Wishing you both well.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX


Friends are those rare people who ask how we are
and then wait to hear the answer.

[tattybear]

Hi Susie,

Welcome back - it is good to hear that you are getting better - no one on hear would wish otherwise.

Im am also glad to hear that you and leanne are managing to sort things out - I know first hand how much the situation hurt her and also how it effected her - take things slowly and you will be ok.

Tatty B xx

[sal]

Susie

You dont need to apologise you were having a hard time and we do understand even if at the time you maybe did feel alone.

We are all here to support you but promise me you will take care of Leanne as we have both said she is a very special person and a great friend to all that know her.



Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[leo05]

hey thanks sal
i dont think of my self as special as i am just one of you all and there for dont understand how i can be special but i know you are all special in you own ways thanks

[cheeky monkey]

Hi everyone
Thanks again for all your support since ive come back here, it truely means alot to me.

I working hard everyday now to take further steps along this road, and even though things are tough at the moment with work and problems with husband i am thinking positive. I like the song life is a rollercoaster, and its true you have to ride the ups and downs. and i will and i will win.

Sal i promise you with all my heart that i will look after lea, friends like her only come along once in a life time so i will never hurt her again she is a special caring and loving person to everyone who meets her. And i pleased to say we are meeting up on 25th of this month, as on 26th it is her birthday, i will spend the weekend there i will spoil her for her birthday as she deserves a good time. she made me go in the sea in my fleece and trekkies last time :D that cleared the beach so guess i be doing that again.
Thanks a gain everyone for your support, and thanks so much Lea for all your help and chats over these last weeks, you know i am always there for you ok, and i looking forward to seeing you again
love susie

[cheeky monkey]

Hi again
due to recent advents i would like to start again and forget darkphantom this in my mind was a very depressed susie hence the name who brought lot of hurt .
so as i feeling alot better i want a happier name and new start so this sounds a happier name
hope this ok with you all
susie

[leo05]

hey like the name and maybe you have to be careful when visitin me as you know we are monkey hangers in hartlepool lol