Mixed up confusion

[Alex33.33]

I thought that I'd said goodbye to full blown panic attacks many years ago. Since I was in my early 20s, which is ten years ago now. I have accepted that anxiety is part of my life, but up until recently I feel I have coped well with it. However, having started a new job in the past two weeks, one which I'm very pleased to have, but carries a huge amount of responsibility, I have unfortunately found myself on the receiving end of a visit from full blown panic attacks, and all the pleasant side effects that brings. Heart rushes, hyperventilation, nausea, twitching, breathing going, the dread and terror over nothing in particular, and that horrible feeling that your world is going to start shrinking because you can't do the things you need to. All this and a job that requires me to be ultra dependable and strong. And I feel weak and in danger of losing control.
It is stressful, but I have so much in my life to be happy about, why do I do this? It always feels like when I most want to be strong and succeed this happens. I love my life but feel panic attacks are stopping me being happy. Any words of wisdom would help....it's my first tine on this, or any other forum.

[Rizzle]

You and I sound like we're in identical situations, except that anxiety is something new for me. I started a new job in July, very excited, the usual. Four weeks in and things started blowing up... all the same symptoms as you. I'm now off work and on medication, and have started seeing a psychologist. I'm already improving. I suggest you take the time out to work things out too if you haven't already. It seems hard but work will be there when you get back and if not, your health is more important anyway.

Anyway, just thought I'd let you know someone else is going through it too. Might help...

[june]

This sounds like the ""confidence V no confidence"" Who will win????:ohmy:
I am sure that this happens to many of us - as soon as we begin to trust our emotions - that little bit of doubt explodes in to panic.:ohmy:

As you have coped well in the past - stand your ground against the panic don't let it ruin your happiness.
What ever coping strategies you used before - get them into use again now:hugs:
Scroll down in symptoms on left of page you will see all your symptoms in there.
If you think about it Heart rushes, hyperventilation, nausea, twitching, breathing going, also happen when you are really excited:blush:
Adrenalin rushes.
Best wishes
June

[Alex33.33]

Both of you are very helpful. I really liked the comparison with feeling excited. that is true. I feel many people who experience panic and anxiety aren't able to translate their feelings well, or at least separate the positive and negative. I don't have any complaints about my life at all. There is normally an assumption that anxiety stems from depression. I don't feel depressed about anything except the anxiety. Ever decreasing circles I guess.

Having a time out would be lovely. But I'm the boss. And without going into too many details, hundreds of people depend on me being the boss. In fairness, I think I'm craving a holiday, but not one where you fly off or go away. I'd really like a holiday from my overactive anxious and ridiculous brain. Short of a surgery, it's difficult to escape your own mind. If I could relax, properly, I could enjoy life more...

[Rizzle]

Relaxation is a key part of getting better, I'm sure of it. The psychologist I've started seeing has given me a CD with relaxation exercises on it that I have to do every morning and evening. It's basically a doctor talking, and walking you through a series of exercises where you tense various muscle groups. It's about 20 minutes long and feels like one of those quit-smoking-self-help tapes, but I'm certain it's having an affect. My mind's not relaxing as much as I'd like yet, but my body is already, and that's one step in the right direction.

Send me a private message if you'd like the track on mp3. My wife and I listen to it on the iPhone before going to sleep, and honestly we have noticed a difference in only 5 days.

I'm sorry you feel you can't take a break because you're the boss and people depend on you. I felt like that, although it was two people, not hundreds! But what I've learned is that you just have to admit when something's got you licked, you have to surrender. And anxiety will do that to you if you don't sort it out. It's an illness, just like breaking a leg or catching flu, but other people can't see it. It's invisible, but it's still real. This is what I have come to terms with over the last 3 weeks. Really hard to admit, but what other choice do I have?

What would happen at work if you broke your leg and couldn't work for six weeks? Pretend you don't have a blackberry for this exercise... ;)