Duncan
14-09-09, 17:38
I will soon be 50 and did not realize that or worry about it until an accumulation of matters brought it to a head: deaths, overwork, demanding too much of myself, sometimes a sense of anomie as a foreigner, family problems and living with very noisy neighbours. But I do realize and acknowledge that from about the age of 8 I started developing signs of a growing OCD and a tendency to be melancholic. These worsened until I had a "breakdown" a few years ago, was off work for a few months and on treatment for depression. I seemed to be back on track until a year ago when I had a few frightening panic attacks. Recently I have been thinking that I have only 15 years of work left and this unconsciously has made me want to do a lot of things, too many things. I saw a psychotherapist for years and resolved many important matters with her. My GP prescribed me ansiolitics which I have been taking for nearly four years. She also spends a lot of her limited time talking to me. I have just "crashed" again and despair at the thought of another few months of Prozac-type treatment, and am looking for a C.B. therapist, with whom I want to discuss, as I have with my doctor and formerly with my psychotherapist, my substance-taking habits i.e. small amounts of alcohol every day (say, a 250ml glass of wine or beer with meals, and also marihuana. Both professionals, as well as a doctor friend of mine, feel that the amount I consume is insignificant and do not contribute to my anxiety or melancholy. Some websites condemn these substances outright. I would like to know what other people think. Apart from this I am healthy "physically", as regular check-ups have shown. I feel healthy, am strict about what I eat (no junk food, loads of fruit and vegetables, no meat or chicken but plenty of fresh fish, lots of water, no tea or coffee) and have regular exercise. I look forward to reading other people's opinions.