lucy1980
24-10-05, 10:59
Hi
I am new to this site, but literally do not know what to do and am rather petrified, so thought maybe i would feel some resolve by airing my probs.
I have been suffering from severe anxiety - "out of body experience" and horrible stomach aches that leave me doubled over in pain when i wake up, thats it i get to sleep. It has been for 7 weeks now. The last time i felt like this was when i was going out with a boy, it was a very unhealthy can't be with, can't be without relationship that i never understood, all i wanted was to feel comfortable with him, but i never did. I finished it, and the anxiety left me.
it came about 7 weeks ago when i met someone else whom i thought i really really liked, i finished it although i really didn't want to thinking that my anxiety would go - it hasn't. I had persistent negative thoughts about being gay, transexual, abuse when younger, something that has happened to me that i can't access to prevent me from falling in love - none of these things fit right nad i have no evidence to support them, nothing is real to me and i don't get anything. Its just horrible. I persist in making a compelte fool of myself with him, when he told me he was seeing someone else i got pains that shot down my arms and around my eyes. He told me she meant nothing but i could not be with him and felt overwhelming guilt. I find myself angry alot of the time, on Friday night i sent him horrible text messages coz he wasn't giving me the attention i wanted, knowing that if he did, i didn't actually want it. I must stop drinking too! I have been to a councillor, hypnotherapist and CBT practicioner, none have been helpful. I am skipping from one thing to the next, feel out of control and this is really ruining my life. I am on citalopram - not happy at all about this. I listen to a self esteem tape at night time. I want to do everything to get out of this. I have been bullemic, obsessive exerciser - all with one result - to get a boyfriend, i know its irrational, I KNOW - why won't the thoughts stop!
I just want to be happy on my own, without the searching.
Sorry this is long! Im troubled. I can't forget about it because i constantly feel out of my own body! This is not who i am, i don't want to be someone who acts and feels this way, but i am so confused i can never find resolve. There are never any preceeding thoughts, which is why its so hard to understand, it just hits me. Bang.
I am new to this site, but literally do not know what to do and am rather petrified, so thought maybe i would feel some resolve by airing my probs.
I have been suffering from severe anxiety - "out of body experience" and horrible stomach aches that leave me doubled over in pain when i wake up, thats it i get to sleep. It has been for 7 weeks now. The last time i felt like this was when i was going out with a boy, it was a very unhealthy can't be with, can't be without relationship that i never understood, all i wanted was to feel comfortable with him, but i never did. I finished it, and the anxiety left me.
it came about 7 weeks ago when i met someone else whom i thought i really really liked, i finished it although i really didn't want to thinking that my anxiety would go - it hasn't. I had persistent negative thoughts about being gay, transexual, abuse when younger, something that has happened to me that i can't access to prevent me from falling in love - none of these things fit right nad i have no evidence to support them, nothing is real to me and i don't get anything. Its just horrible. I persist in making a compelte fool of myself with him, when he told me he was seeing someone else i got pains that shot down my arms and around my eyes. He told me she meant nothing but i could not be with him and felt overwhelming guilt. I find myself angry alot of the time, on Friday night i sent him horrible text messages coz he wasn't giving me the attention i wanted, knowing that if he did, i didn't actually want it. I must stop drinking too! I have been to a councillor, hypnotherapist and CBT practicioner, none have been helpful. I am skipping from one thing to the next, feel out of control and this is really ruining my life. I am on citalopram - not happy at all about this. I listen to a self esteem tape at night time. I want to do everything to get out of this. I have been bullemic, obsessive exerciser - all with one result - to get a boyfriend, i know its irrational, I KNOW - why won't the thoughts stop!
I just want to be happy on my own, without the searching.
Sorry this is long! Im troubled. I can't forget about it because i constantly feel out of my own body! This is not who i am, i don't want to be someone who acts and feels this way, but i am so confused i can never find resolve. There are never any preceeding thoughts, which is why its so hard to understand, it just hits me. Bang.